Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Jus' click on my name, and you're done!
Spoilers: None
Summary: For Sam, this was a moment of realisation that Rodney's parents were actually worse than the man himself - this was something that would take her a little time to get used to. (Sam/McKay)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Warnings: Contains McKay, implied sexual relations
Details: Sam/McKay established relationship. You have been warned! Part 3 of a series.
Author Notes: McKay warning: Yep, he's in it again, so don't read it if you don't like this sort of thing. Hope that you do enjoy it, though, and please send feedback (good or bad). Sorry about the HUGE delay in getting this up, real life has gotten in the way of my muse, unfortunately.
Archive: Heliopolis, Gateworld,
Arrested Development 3
Copyright © Ruth, June 2006
Previously:
"I should have left your hand in that freakin' toaster!" She shouted, running a hand back through her hair. "We've got no food in the house, the place is a pigsty, and now you've just invited your parents to stay? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"
"Calm down," he assured her, "At least we've still got ages to-"
The doorbell rang.
The pair stood still, frozen in the panic of the moment. Despite their combined intelligence, neither knew what to do, when to do it and how to do it. They just shut down.
When they heard the sound of a heavy fist beating on the door, they seemed to spring into life again, running towards the bedroom to throw on some clothes.
"I swear, McKay…" Sam said in a harsh whisper, "You are SO dead for this."
"I didn't know they were going to arrive so soon!" He countered, "It's not completely my fault."
Stumbling out of the room, doing up the buttons on his shirt, he ran to the door, giving himself a quick moment for composure, and opened it.
"Mom, dad. What a wonderful surprise!" He said, with an electric, however false, smile.
"Kept us out here long enough," his dad complained, shoving past his son and into the house.
Sam emerged from the bedroom after dressing hurriedly, and nearly ran straight into Mr McKay, who was already making himself at home.
He looked at her, a sardonic smile curling his lip.
"Bit tall for you, isn't she? Your head barely comes past her waist!"
Rodney smirked, and opened his mouth to reply when he caught the death glare that Sam was shooting him from the opposite side of the room, and clamped it shut again.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Sam offered, smiling at his mother as she sat down.
"Yes…" she replied, sounding anything but pleased.
"Okay," Sam murmured under her breath, casting a nervous look across the room at her lover who, rather than helping the situation, appeared completely stupefied when confronted with his parents and was not moving. At all.
She also noticed that, in his hurry to get dressed, he'd buttoned his shirt wrong. Biting her lip, she was about to say something when..-
"Well? Are you going to get us a drink or not?" Rodney's mother snapped.
"Sure," Sam eventually replied, shocked at the way she was being spoken to, but even more so to find herself thinking that McKay really wasn't that bad after all. At least, he wasn't when his parents were in the room.
Casting a look back over to him, she had to fight not to laugh - in his hurry to dress, McKay had missed the button holes by one and his shirt hung at a peculiar angle to his chest. Before she let a giggle escape, she turned her back on their obnoxious guests and went into the kitchen.
"Do we have any arsenic?" McKay asked softly, walking behind Sam in the kitchen.
"I think I used the last of it," Sam quipped, "Remind me to get a fresh batch. You…uh, might want to take a look at your shirt," she added.
McKay looked down at himself.
"Aw, crap. No wonder my mom thinks I'm incapable of looking after myself!"
"If it's any consolation, darling, your parents make you look positively angelic," she whispered, stirring milk into the mugs of coffee which she had hurriedly prepared.
McKay assumed an offended look and sulkily did up the buttons of his shirt. He was thinking of a sarcastic response, for which he had become legendary, when a loud voice interrupted them.
"Is it POSSIBLE to get lost inside of such a small house as this?"
Rodney rolled his eyes and took the coffee from Sam, going back into the lounge to confront his parents.
"It's not that small, dad," he said, as he handed over the coffee, "Besides, we don't need a big house, there's only the two of us. We don't take up much room."
"And what about if you decide to have children?" his mother snapped.
Sam, who had been taking a long drink from her mug of coffee, nearly choked at this, hurriedly trying to disguise this as a sneeze. Similarly shocked, and unsure of how to respond, McKay squirmed a little on the couch.
"Ah, well, I think…"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Sam added, with a nervous laugh, "We're only just beginning to get to know one another, right?"
"Yeah!" Rodney added, a little too enthusiastically for his mother's liking.
"So this relationship is purely about the physical, is it?"
At this, Sam decided to abandon her coffee until Rodney's parents had left. On the plus side, it would always be something to rib him about, he had gone bright red and was fiddling with his hands. She had never seen him look nervous before.
"No," Sam said, in an attempt to raise the tone of the conversation, "It's just that we haven't been together long enough to consider having children." (Not that this was something that either of them had considered ANYWAY)
"I know, I mean, can you imagine?" McKay laughed, sounding on the verge of hysteria, "Me as a father?"
"Well you couldn't do a worse job of it than your father!" his mother said hotly.
"Why do you always bring me into this?" His father responded, "I am not to blame for this!"
"Well how else did he turn into an arrogant, sarcastic techno-geek?"
"Mom!" Rodney interjected, "I am still here you know!"
"Well it doesn't come from my side of the family," his father snapped, "We were brought up labourers, we did proper work - men's work!"
"And I don't?" McKay said, looking at Sam, who merely shrugged in response. Truth be told, she was enjoying the floor show.
"This could be an opportunity," she whispered in his ear, "To make our escape."
"We have to escape from our own house?" He asked, incredulously.
"They're your parents!" she shot back, "You tell them to leave!"
"Never amount to anything! ….Waste of time!….Needs to settle down!"
His mother and father were so deep in this argument, it did appear possible for the two of them to remove themselves from the room without being seen. Rodney, however, remained uncertain, fully aware of the sporadic nature of his parents' relationship.
"Uh…mom, dad?" he tried to interrupt, ignoring the look Sam gave him as she rolled her eyes, clearly stating that she thought this was a weak attempt to stop them.
"We've got a mission in a couple of hours, so we need you to go!"
There was a long pause, in which both Sam and Rodney felt as though their very lives (or perhaps it was their sanity) were balanced on a knife-edge. For Sam, at least, this was a moment of personal realisation that Rodney's parents were actually worse than McKay himself, and this was something that would take her a little time to get used to.
"Excellent!" said his father, jumping up instantly and offering his hand to his wife.
"Couldn't get out of here fast enough!" his mother agreed, and got up to leave as well.
"Thank you, thank you, always a pleasure," McKay smiled as he directed them out of the door. Once they were outside, he quickly shut and locked it.
"Oh.My.God," was all that Sam could bring herself to say.
"I know," McKay said sympathetically, "Know you know why."
"But, I mean…really? Like, all of your life?"
"Yep. So, does this mean that you're not angry with me any more, baby? Cause if you're not, I've got a great idea…" he smirked, wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered something in her ear.
Sam's eyes narrowed.
"Oh, you'll have to do better than that, McKay. Recovering from a visit from your parents deserves a lot more than chocolate sauce!"
THE END
Author's Note: On Ice Cream! Dirty minded people! Hope you enjoyed it, sorry about the TREMENDOUSLY long wait, please feel free to send feedback by clicking on my name.