Terra Nova

Why here?

The words repeated themselves incessantly inside Shepard's head. They had been on the way to the Artemis Tau cluster when he had heard a report of an asteroid that went dark on its path towards the inhabited planet.

It's probably nothing, fault in their communications equipment.

No matter what he said to himself though, it didn't shake the feeling that lingered in his bones. He stared at the blinking light on his computer. He had a message, he almost felt sick at the thought of opening it.

I didn't even talk to him before-

A knock upon his door shot him out of his spiraling thoughts. He straightened his back and looked towards the door from his chair. "Come in."

The door slid open. Williams was in the doorway, seeming to be uncertain on whether or not this was a good idea. "Sir. I have some questions that I've been meaning to pose to you."

His eyebrow raised and gestured to a second seat in the room, a few feet away from his. "I'll answer in whatever way I can."

She moved over and sat down, rubbing the back of her neck lightly. "Well… uh." She found this was a harder topic to breach than she thought. "The… new members of your team. Are you sure you should let them on the more sensitive parts of the ship?" His eyebrow raised, his face was stone cold.

Oh I pissed off the commander...

It was the only thing that she could think of. He placed one hand on the desk. The other in his lap. His head turned ever so slightly to the right. He was waiting for her to speak again, but she didn't speak up. "Say what you mean, Ashley." He had reserved the use of her first name to this moment. It made her slightly uncomfortable.

"I don't think that the Krogan and Turian-"

"Wrex and Garrus." He cut her off to make a small point, but a point nonetheless.

"They shouldn't be allowed in the cargo, it's too close to the engine, or be allowed to constantly work on our Mako."

"And Tali?" He leaned against the desk. His eyebrow still raised. His blue eyes were piercing hers.

"Adams says that she's been a help so-"

"She could also destroy the entire ship considering that she's working directly in tandem with Engineer Adams."

It made Ashley pause. Staring at him for a second as she didn't expect that type of retort.

He put his hands together and leaned forward. His elbows on his knees. His gaze softened while he let out a slow exhale. "I understand your worries Ashley. I really do. They are our allies in this though. We must treat them as such."

She stood up and nodded. "Yes, Sir." Taking it more as an order than a recommendation. It brought a chuckle out of him as he shook his head.

"At ease, Williams. Now make sure you're ready to go when we get to that asteroid." She gave him a short nod and walked out.

His gaze returned to the blinking light. Letting out an annoyed sigh that the message was in fact still on his computer.

Tali was sitting at a table in the mess hall. She had already eaten and double checked her gear. She was waiting for them to get close enough to the asteroid. Kaidan decided to sit across from her.

"So, Tali. Why did you decide to join us?" The question was posed casually, but it made her feel a bit awkward. She didn't want to say that this ship was probably her best source of reliable food and a bed, or sleeping pod for that matter, ever since she left the migrant fleet.

Kaidan began to wonder if she even heard him as at least twenty seconds passed before she responded. "I uh, well I'm on my pilgrimage, searching for a present to bring back to my fleet."

Kaidan was looking at something on his omni tool for a moment before looking back at her. "The Commander mentioned that the other night at the flux. He knew a lot more about your people than I would've thought."

She thought about what he said for a moment before continuing. "Yes… I have more knowledge on geth than others so I thought it would be a good idea to lend what I know to Shepard. I may find a present for the ship while we are on this expedition. I may not." She shrugged slightly, seeming indifferent about it.

Kaidan went back to his omni tool, swiping through something. "Well, that's very nice of you. I'm not sure a lot of people would've come along. Hunting a spectre isn't going to be easy."

She hadn't fully thought of that yet. She mostly wanted on a ship to get away from where Saren might be, or might be able to kill her for what she revealed. Why in the world did she hop on this ship? The question prodded her mind for a minute.

Food and a spot to sleep...

She kinda felt bad about that, she wondered if she had tagged along because she wanted to help, or if it was because she had a steady supply of food and comfort.

Real nice, you show up because you're invited and stay because you like it...

She tried to reason with herself. Shepard said she was welcome. Was that just a courtesy? Did he mean it? Her head felt like it was about to spin off with the questions and self accusations.

The door to Shepard's quarters slid open. Shepard walked into the mess and grabbed a bottle of water. He was ready to go. He was simply waiting for Joker to pull them into position for the Mako drop. He leaned against a counter to talk to them. "How are you two doing?"

Kaidan just let out a low grunt. Looking up to give a short nod to Shepard. "Why did you have to drag me into that with you and Wrex? Drinking with a krogan? Bad idea overall."

Shepard let a smile slip onto his lips. "Yeah, well drinking with a krogan is one thing. You can complain when you drink like a krogan." Drinking from the bottle before turning his eyes to Tali. Who had been gazing at him in silence ever since he entered. "How about you Tali? How was your night?"

Tali turned her head away. In all honesty, it could have been better. The silence crept into her dreams of the flotilla. The silence turned into mass failures of nearly every system. Shaking her back awake till she realized that she was indeed on the Normandy and not the migrant fleet. Both Kaidan and Shepard now looked at her since she had yet to respond. Shepard seemed almost concerned. "It was good. Just uh… need to get used to the ship…" She looked over at him, reading the expression that sat plain on his face. She was an awful liar, and that had been an awful lie.

She turned her head away from Shepard now. Fiddling with an empty tube that had contained water at one point. The silence is broken by Joker speaking over the intercom. "No response from our attempts to get anyone on the asteroid on comms. We'll be around the drop point in fifteen minutes." The three went to the elevator to get ready.

"So…" Tali said, trying to change the subject. "The pilot is going to land on an asteroid? That must not be easy…" Kaidan and Shepard both looked at each other for a moment.

Shepard finally took the initiative to tell her. "Well… not exactly…" A small smirk crept onto her lips. The doors of the elevator closed as he told her.

Tali didn't initially believe the altitude or speed at which they were dropping. Until it was happening right in front of her. She screamed the whole way to the surface. During which, Shepard noticed just how much he enjoyed the sound of her voice. When they made contact with the asteroid, Joker radioed them, letting them know that the asteroid was in fact on a collision course with the planet.

Shepard kept Kaidan and Tali with himself. Garrus, Wrex and Williams in a separate squad so they could split up. In the downtime of Shepard driving the Mako, Tali found herself thinking about her sleeping predicament. A silly thing to worry about when millions on a planet threatened by an asteroid were at risk.

The next thing Tali found herself worrying about was the uncharacteristically brutal fashion Shepard disposed of one Batarian in particular who tried to call a ceasefire. He was wiping the blood off his boot against the dead Batarians clothes. "Just a simple slave grab, eh?" She could hear him mutter at the corpse. Like he was trying to rub it in the dead man's face. Walking off as if it wasn't but a casual day.

Picking up the second team and bringing them to the final torch. He sealed the Makos door and started to drive to the main facility. Tali was looking out at the mostly empty surface. Wondering as to why anyone would move such a large asteroid into orbit around their planet.

A base of some kind? Natural satellite?

She'd inquire later. Shepard seemed to be more on edge after the incident with the dead slaver. Not angry, it was more of a hyper awareness of everything around them. She looked to Kaidan who sat next to the exit of the vehicle. His rifle is out and ready to go at a moment's notice.

She began to wonder how long the two had been working together. The thought interrupted as Shepard veered hard right and up a mountain to avoid an incoming rocket.

"Tali. Tali?! You're our turret girl, don't start spacing out. We need you." Shepard's voice was stern but not angry. He had been right on the ball though. Tali was lost in thought and had completely forgotten. Quickly getting to work on the surrounding turrets that shot rockets at them. Shepard was doing his best to keep clear of them. Him and Kaidan worked like a well oiled machine. Kaidan alerting Shepard to incoming projectiles. Followed by a simple. "Got it."

Soon enough they were clear of threats. Williams called in a few minutes later saying that they were clear. He got out of the vehicle with Tali. Ordering Kaidan to retrieve the others while they scouted. When Shepard said they'd scout. He really meant they would make sure that no pirates would reinforce the outer area. This would be a direct assault through a single airlock. They needed numbers, not scouting. He leaned against a wall near the airlock. Out of view if it would open, but in a good spot to get an angle on it if it did. Tali was next to him, looking up at the stars that looked so far above them.

"Shepard…" Tali looked towards him for a moment. Deciding that since they were alone with time to kill, she'd inquire about him. "Where do you come from?"

Shepard was a bit taken aback by the question. Looking over to Tali for a moment before peeking around the corner to make sure the door was still closed, ducking back into cover. "We're here. Well not here, but there. Terra Nova." He pointed a thumb around the corner and in the general direction of the planet. The asteroid was no longer on a collision course, it still made a lump in his throat thinking about what could've happened.

"Oh… Shepard… I didn't know." She was stumbling over her words. The whole time they were here, his home was on the line.

He waved it off, trying to get her not to worry. "Hey, don't worry about it. We took care of it. No harm, no foul." She stared at him for a few seconds, not because the term meant nothing to her, but because it seemed like the whole planet meant nothing to him.

"You." She paused, trying to pick her words carefully as she could. "Do you not… care?" It sounded kinda harsh but she didn't mean it to.

This got a strange reaction from him. A pause, thirty seconds passed. A minute. Two minutes. It started to feel like time was warping just to make her regret her decision for that much longer.

"I don't know…" He didn't sound sad, more like he had finally made a revelation in his life. He stared at the barren rock ahead of them. She could see a notable change in his stance. His shoulders sagged a bit, leaning back against the wall as support now. His eyes fogged over as if he was lost in thought.

It was like watching someone detach themselves from the world. It was strange to watch, she wanted to say something to him. What could she say? She barely knew the commander. Instead of saying anything, she simply reached up and put a hand on his shoulder.

He felt like there was a whirlwind going through his head. Her one question raised so much uncertainty in his mind that already plagued him. He felt her hand land upon his shoulder plate. Looking first at her hand upon his shoulder, a curious look in his eyes.

The small act shook him back to the reality in front of him. His eyes flicking to hers, a small smile hinted on the edges of his lips as he looked at her. Something dwelled in his eyes, the memory of something, or someone saddened him.

The sounds of a roaring engine could be heard approaching. Quickly clearing his throat, as well as his mind of any questions. "The hell took you guys so long?" He called them over the comms.

An extremely roughed up Mako came into view. A mix of confusion and worry in his eyes as he saw it. "Wrex decided to see how it compared to krogan tanks. He doesn't like it." Ashley in a rather annoyed tone could be heard crackling in over the helmets. "Well come on. We don't have all day." He looked at Tali for a moment, gesturing to follow him as he moved towards the airlock.

The mission, for the most part, went well. Some would argue differently as a batarian terrorist got to leave alive. He didn't like it. In fact Shepard despised it. He couldn't do it though. He wasn't sure how many people got to live because of his choice. He also wasn't sure how many would suffer as a result. He shook it out of his head as he sat at his desk after a shower.

Damned blinking light.

The green light, telling him constantly that he had yet to read the damned message. Gotta just ignore it. And he would try to ignore it, deep into the night cycle of the ship.

It wasn't hard. At first it was just one, then just two. Then a third and he lost count afterwards. He hated each taste of the bitter tasting liquid that had a faint glow to it. A faint green glow. Then his mind was once again on the computer that he had turned the chair away from. He reasoned with himself, there were a few days before they got to the Artemis Tau cluster.

True enough. Does that give you a right to drink? Alliance ship, spectre status. Walking a fine line there.

He waved a hand next to his head, as if trying to disperse the thought. A soft knock at the door brought a confused look to his face. Looking at the 'clock' that said '1:24' only the night shift would be up. "Come in." He piped up. After a few seconds of hesitation. Tali opened the door.

Christ. She's having trouble sleeping you twit.

"I… uh… sorry. This is probably a bad time." She started to step back. She hadn't seen Shepard once since he gave the last order to Joker on where they were going. She had sat in the mess waiting to see if he would come out for food till the night cycle took the ship.

"No, no. Not a bad time at all, I was just… doing some work." It was a half truth, he had a few pads that he had to read through on his desk. So it wasn't a total lie. He certainly wasn't doing that right now though. Setting his cup to the side as he gestured to the chair Williams had sat in prior to the mission. "Are you looking to chat or do you need help with something?"

She took the seat and looked at the cup for a moment. How long has he been in here? The question hovered in her head for a second before she looked at him. "I was hoping to talk… uh, you, your home. Terra Nova." She was tripping all over her words already. "Are you alright?"

He smiled, with the confidence of a man who had too much to drink. "I'm great. Why?" He leaned against the table, curiosity blatant on his face.

Why? Someone just tried to drop an asteroid on your homeworld and you act like nothing happened. Now you're drunk! Again!

She wanted to shout it at him. She didn't know why, she barely knew this man. Why was it her business? The silence boiled over so she was forced to change the subject. "Do you have anyone on Terra Nova?"

The man who was entirely too intoxicated to notice the sudden change of subject. Shook his head no. "No, my old man passed away a while back." Holding up a hand before she said anything. "Don't be sorry. He was a wonderful guy. An old one too. He was old when he took us in."

Us

It was such a small but significant word. She leaned forward, looking at him. Her elbows on her knees. "You and…?"

He quickly cleared his throat, blinking a couple times as he straightened up.

It slipped, how much did I...?

He looked at the bottle which was missing a third of it.

Shit...

He wanted to stand up and excuse himself. It was like he felt her eyes studying him. He turned to meet her eyes with his own.

She studied him for a minute as he processed her question. She felt like she pushed too far. She could see worry in his eyes. His foot tapped the floor lightly as he became nervous. She started to feel like she should tell him not to worry. About to get up when he finally spoke.

"I have a brother…"

His gaze was averted, like he was worried she'd judge him differently over such a small fact.

"Shepard…"

He put a hand up to pause her. Reaching one hand to open the desk's lowermost drawer. "Not a lot of people are… aware of this." Pulling a tablet out that stored pictures on it and handed it to her. "Here, a few pictures. It's got the old man, me and my brother."

She took it in her hands. Looking at Shepard first, who gave her an encouraging nod. She looked down and turned it on. First, a picture of an elderly fellow. Standing with a cane in what looked like a living room. "He took us in when we were young. We… never met our parents." The last words came out with some uncertainty. She swapped to another picture of Shepard and a batarian with a reddish-brown complexion standing side by side on the deck of a ship. Another swap and it was the same Batarian. Standing on what looked like the same ship. It clicked in her head then.

"He's your…"

"Brother. Confidant, my closest friend, who I'd daresay is the nicest guy you'd ever meet."

She looked at him for a moment before kicking the comment back at him. "If you count yourself then I'd have to argue." Handing the pad back to him.

He wasn't sure what he expected, but it wasn't that. A faint reddening of his cheeks and a smile now taking to his lips. He took the pad and looked at it for a few moments before turning it back off. Returning it to its drawer.

"I have a favor to ask…" She wasn't expecting him to say that. She leaned forward, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Anything Shepard. You've been a good friend to me." He rubbed his chin in one hand, looking over at her.

"Don't tell anyone. Kaidan… knows… but I'm pretty sure he isn't aware of the-" He left it there. His words hung in the air. "He doesn't know much." He reworded it so he could finish.

"When did you and your brother last talk?" She had a slight tilt to her head, starting to inquire more into his life. Hoping that he wouldn't mind.

"A… week before I was made a spectre." He was staring now at the blinking light. "I didn't even get the chance to tell him I was a candidate. Everything moved so quickly, I…" He pulled his hands down his face in a slight bit of frustration. "I don't know what he'll think."

She let out a soft sigh. It was barely caught by her suit's microphone. "I would say that your closest friend, and confidant, would probably think it's a great accomplishment. The first human spectre." She nudged him lightly with her elbow, he could almost hear the smile in her voice. "Besides, I'd like to meet your brother. If he's anything like you, I'm sure he's an amazing guy."

This made him cover his eyes with one hand, a bright redness taking to his cheeks and his smile grew. "Did you come in here to talk or make passes at your commander?"

The comment made her blush, as well as get a giggle to arise from her. Patting his shoulder as she got up. "I suppose you'll have to guess on that. Get some sleep Shepard." With that, she walked out. Shepard found himself looking after her as she. She helped his head get out of one train of thought, only to slam him onto another one.

Tali'zorah meeting my brother?

He shook his head, following Tali's advice and going to bed. Collapsing on it as he drifted out of consciousness.

Horrible idea...

He already knew it was something he'd do simply because of her small comment. He slumped into sleep quickly. Tali as well to her surprise, was able to sleep through the rest of her night. Finding her thoughts, before drifting off into sleep, to be thinking of Shepard and his brother.

His dreams were bothered by memories of the blinding, beating sun. Accompanied by the annoying feeling of sand grating against his skin.