Author's Notes: This chapter has been extremely edited to keep the rating low. The original version can be found on my website.
Chapter 13: I want to see you hazy, weak in the knees. I want to see you completely pleased.
They made their way to Xander's apartment in silence, the chilly fall air not nearly enough to cool the attraction smoldering between them. Xander opened the door, letting Spike enter before closing and locking it behind them.
"So." Xander said, hanging his keys on a hook by the door.
Spike was nervously looking anywhere but him. "So." he replied intelligently. He jumped when Xander touched his shoulder.
"Hey, easy. We're gonna go slow, remember?" Xander soothed.
Spike nodded, his normal bravado evaporated, leaving nothing but the shy poet in its place. "Yeah." he whispered, ashamed at how hesitant he felt. "It's just..."
"Shh." Xander said, wrapping his arms around Spike in a loose embrace as he leaned close. Spike copied the move and they began to kiss, slowly and softly at first, gradually building heat as their hands began to wander. Xander took the initiative, shuffling them step by step towards his bedroom.
Spike cried out. This was so much better than he'd imagined, and Spike was almost sobbing from sheer pleasure. He'd been with a few guys in the past, but none of them had ever felt right. He'd fooled around a little, but it had never felt like this, like every touch was lighting him up like a christmas tree, with enough electricity snap crackle and popping in his nerves to power New York City for a year. Noises he didn't even know he could make were escaping his throat, and Spike felt like he was a firework, exploding and combusting until he was glittering bits of light flying across the sky.
"Good?" Xander asked, his playful expression and dancing eyes hypnotizing Spike.
"Bloody amazing." Spike replied, catching his breath.
Xander's grin widened. "Good, because that was just the beginning. I've got a few more ideas, if you're inclined."
"Ideas?" Spike asked. He swallowed hard, shoving his nervousness aside. "Okay." he murmured his acquiesce.
Xander kissed him, "Oh baby, you're gonna love this."
"""
Hours later, they lay sated in each other's arms, curled together under the warm blankets. Xander's fingers were lazily brushing against the nape of Spike's neck, and Spike was happily nuzzeling Xander's neck.
God! He'd never imagined it could feel so good, and Xander had been so gentle and wonderful and nice, showing him how amazing it could feel. His heart swelled, and he wanted to tell Xander everything, share everything with him. "Xan?" he murmured. "You still awake?"
"Mmmm." was the reply, and Xander's eyes stayed closed. Spike nipped his throat, and Xander gasped, "Oh, do that again."
"What are you doing tomorrow?" Spike asked, lightly scratching his teeth along Xander's neck.
Xander moaned, trying to make his brain function. "Working all day, like usual. Why? What are you doing?"
"Nothing." Spike cursed himself for wimping out. "I've got plans too." He bit his lip, wanting to tell Xander how much he meant to him. "Xan?"
"Hmm?" Xander replied.
If he couldn't get up the nerve to tell Xander one of the secrets he'd been hiding, he'd tell him the other one... "I love you." Spike confessed, warily watching for the reaction.
Xander's eyes opened, looking at Spike with a stunned expression which melted into a warm smile. "I love you too."
"""
Xander grinned sappily as he drove to work the next morning, mind playing a loop of 'He loves me!' over and over in his head. He was going to take Spike out somewhere nice after work, and had stored a nice set of clothes in the back seat to change into after work. His cell phone rang, and he answered it. "Any day you wake up next to the person you love is a good day."
Faith shrieked on the other end of the phone. "It's about fucking time. You love him?"
"Mmmhmm." Xander said, sighing happily.
"God, you even sound like a besotted fool." Faith remarked. "I've got some good news that might even make your day better."
"I doubt you could make today any better, but go ahead and try." Xander challenged.
"William Barstow is going to be autographing his book at the east-side Barnes and Noble today."
Xander swerved into the next lane before regaining control of his vehicle. "He is?" he asked, afraid Faith was pulling his chain. To be this close to the person he'd been idolizing for years now...
"Hell yes. I just found out today. You gonna go?"
Xander glanced at the clock. "Shit, I gotta work."
Faith scoffed. "Blow off work, it'll still be waiting for you tonight, or even tomorrow. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet William Barstow."
Xander considered for a moment, and then gave in. "All right, I'll blow off work and head over there. East-side one, you said?"
"Yeah." Faith replied. "It starts at eight-thirty, so by the time you get there it'll have already started."
"Hopefully there won't be too long of a line." Xander said.
"Why don't you invite Spike to go with you? I'm sure he'd get a kick out of it."
"Nah, he said he had plans for today. Besides, I kinda wanna go by myself, you know? Get some closure on this obsession."
"Okay." Faith replied. "Have fun. Tell me all about it."