Chapter 1
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Back to the Stargate…
"You saw how she was looking at you; didn't you Rodney?" Elizabeth asked with a playful glint in her eye.
"Who?" He replied completely clueless while gnawing on a piece of beef jerky.
"That pretty, petite blonde who would not leave your side all evening," she said letting the playfulness and the glint remain as he stopped dead in his tracks.
"She wasn't my waitress?" Horror colored his face as another missed opportunity struck him smack dab in the middle of the forehead. The jerky hung out of the corner of his mouth as his eyes went from face to face. "She kept bringing me food!"
"No Rodney," Elizabeth could not help but let her amusement show now. "She was the Minister of Trade's eldest daughter." She sucked in her top lip to keep from outright laughing.
The others walking behind him were not so kind. They snickered and out right laughed at his expense.
"Rodney, you still have your head stuck up your…"
He wheeled around and addressed the miscreants and their leader who was the one speaking, "Oh shut up, all of you!" With the exclamation, he inhaled the jerky and started choking.
Their miscreant leader feigned the hurt in his body language. With a hand to his heart, Sheppard mock lamented, "Ouch McKay, that's the best you can come up with- shut up?" He waited for an answer while McKay tried to expel the offending dried meat from his esophagus.
Finally, McKay gave a big cough and it shot out onto the ground. Everyone's nose wrinkled.
"Now that's just gross McKay," added Ronon.
He glared at Ronon before refuting Miscreant Numero Uno. "Anything else would be loss on you delinquents," he snorted answering Sheppard's last question. He turned and started back up the ten foot wide road that led to the Stargate. He further illustrated his disdain with stomping, muttering and glares thrown over the shoulder.
Lorne, Teyla, Ronon and the rest of Lorne's team stopped and stared after him. Then they lost their battle with the stifled snickers and laughed even louder.
Still giggling like school girls, they started again along the road sandwiched between a cliff and a whitewater river ten feet below them. Otherwise known as: a rock and a hard place. Elizabeth threw a glance over her shoulder- hers was more amused- and ran to catch up with Rodney. With her went Cavanaugh, her second skin for the trip.
Corporal Lawrence Cavanaugh, poor kid had received endless taunts about sharing the same last name as the esteemed doctor. Lorne confessed, he thanked his lucky stars that this young man was a polar opposite and a damn good marine. He had taken his babysitting job seriously. Dr. Weir felt like she was wearing another coat.
The kid was as likeable as you could get. As a matter of fact, if Dr. Kavanagh ever returned and was slated to go off world, the corporal would most likely get saddled with him. He had the right temperament, things just rolled off his back, and he was smart.
With the moment of levity over, their work continued. All eyes raked the tree line across the river and the cliffs up above them. The planet had a few local skirmishes which did not sit well with Sheppard, especially with Weir here.
She had actually negotiated a peace settlement between the two largest disagreeing factions and set up a trade agreement. It was impressive seeing her in her natural environment and doing a job she loved. The job appeared more a vocation than a simple career. Very impressive.
Sheppard realized just how much he sucked at the job. He knew Teyla put him to shame, but Weir she was in a class by herself.
But, could they fly a Blackhawk? No? Didn't think so.
Sheppard's eyes raked the ground again and landed on a patch of disturbed dirt just off the center of the road. He saw it right before another fresh faced Daedalus newbie placed his boot right on it. An Aussie if his memory served him- an unfortunate Aussie. The unmistakable click-click of an explosive device triggering taunted his ears.
"Get down! Mine!" He looked right at the fresh faced newbie and shouted, "Taylor! Get off! It's gonna blow anyway; it's Wraith!" He recognized that electronic count down from the Wraith grenade he experimented with on that dust bowl of a planet.
He intended to tackle the kid until someone tackled him. The kid incinerated as Sheppard was thrown backwards. That baby face disappeared in an intense and brilliant flash.
His eyes weren't green were they? He thought it as the blast sent him and his savior back towards the river side of the roadway. The deafening sound wave washed over him and spots danced before his eyes as he waited for the impact with the ground. It never came.
The road was now above his head and it moved farther away- rapidly. Off to his right, his P90 flipped end over end as it sailed through the air. With fascination, he watched the rotation of the weapon. He fought the urge to calculate the RPMs. 1...2...3...
Sheppard's mind was brought back to reality when the other pair of arms released him. However, the owner's body was still in contact with his during their descent. Maybe, he should have been calculating the velocity of their fall.
He blinked his eyes to regain his focus. The air rushed by his mass until he hit the water like a watermelon on concrete. At least, that is what it felt like; he should have been splattered all over the surface of the river. The current immediately pulled him under the water and sped him away.
Sheppard struggled to release his pack that now felt like he stored cannonballs in it. He calmed himself and undid it. Next, he removed the vest as it too felt like lead weights were in all the pockets. The current let him surface after he shed the encumbrances. He caught sight of Ronon to his left who obviously was thrown off also.
Without warning, he got a face full of major. Facedown, Lorne whipped flaccidly along the current. Sheppard grabbed him and turned him over clumsily. It took about four attempts. He also attempted to keep the major's head above water after the flip and to remove his pack while keeping himself afloat. His attempt was successful for a very short while. He lost the pack- on purpose- and then lost Lorne- not on purpose- when an undercurrent dragged him and Lorne under again.
This time, resurfacing seemed a long shot at best before he lost the battle to hold his breath. When he was ready to take that last, watery inhale, the eddy spit him back up just in time to collide with a rock or boulder. His shoulder paid the price by dislocating.
Damn, same one, he thought as he tried to stay above the surface.
Sheppard lost sight of Ronon and Lorne this time as he continued his slalom down river. Things hit him; he hit things; and he got doused by waves that kept his head under water just long enough for panic to set in. After a particularly rough drop, the river slowed enough for him to start a concerted effort to swim towards the shore. His dislocated arm created a drag, so it was more of a side arm swim combined with lots of leg kicks. A fallen tree turned out to be his second savior of the day. Using the branches, he pulled himself along until the riverbed was shallow enough to stand.
Spent, he inspected his appearance as he stood shivering and dripping. He smiled and thanked his Momma for teaching him to tie his shoes tight and nagging the hell out of him to wear a belt. Because, Lord have mercy, he still wore his pants and shoes. No vest and the shirt hung practically to his knees, but he had pants and shoes.
Amen, Hallelujah.
When he reached dry land, he dropped to his knees gagging and spitting and trying to get the stinging water sensation out of his nose. Within a few moments, a shadow fell across his on the bank. He looked up and into the drenched Wookie face of Dex. He held an unconscious Major Evan Lorne draped over his shoulder. He knelt down and gently positioned the man on the ground.
Ronon plopped down next to him and exhaled with what Sheppard assumed was a wet, drowned rat cough. Up to this point, he had ignored the reality that he could not hear a single thing. No roar of a rampaging river; no sounds of nature; no gagging of a drowned colonel; no coughing of a drowned Satedan male; no rasping of a drowned major. Nothing, but a strange and annoying ringing.
Crap.
Good chance eardrums were blown. Delightful. He pointed to his ears and Ronon shook his head. He also noticed a monumental shiner over Ronon's eye puffing out quite nicely. Rock meet Ronon's eye. Eye meet large, protruding, river boulder.
Well, wasn't this another fine mess you've gotten me into Stanley or was it Ollie? Whatever.
Sheppard checked Lorne over with his limp arm dangling by his side. The water had numbed it enough that it only hurt a lot. Ronon tapped him on the good shoulder and pointed to his lifeless one.
I can help.
John's eyebrows were lost in his hairline. Uncertainty painted on his face. His facial expressions asked, Are you sure?
Ronon returned the uncertainty with a stare that basically said, Of course, I've been on the run so long I picked up a few tricks over those seven years. Why? Don't you trust me Sheppard?
Can't argue with that, he thought back at the imaginary conversation they were sharing. John nodded at him.
Ronon made sure Sheppard was ready and braced against the ground. With a wham, bam, thank you ma'am, Sheppard had partial use of his arm again along with tears in his eyes. Bangkok had nothing on Ronon. Of course, while Ronon did the reduction, he thought that he was the stupidest man on the planet for allowing the behemoth to touch him. Afterwards, he was still pretty sure he was stupid, but partial use of the arm presented one less worry.
Nice thing about being deaf- he could not hear himself scream and neither could Ronon. Hopefully, it had been manly. Bad thing about being deaf- he could not hear if anyone else heard him scream and neither could Ronon. He still hoped on the manly part.
He lay on the ground to catch his breath for several minutes. After sitting up, he checked Lorne once again: nice bump on the back of the head and wounds on his back from…shrapnel. Now he knew who tackled him. On the other hand, the mommas must have taught them all right; no one lost pants or shoes. He started a mental checklist on problems: no gear, freezing, wet, deaf, unconscious team member and separated from the rest of the group. The rest of the group…crap.
Decision time. Their options as he saw them were: wait for rescue, search for help, or try to return towards the Gate. There were also the bad guys who planted the booby trap to consider. They may be locals or even Wraith. Sitting here, though, was like painting a bull's eye on them. They were at a distinct disadvantage.
Ronon scanned the terrain. He grabbed Sheppard's sore shoulder and pointed up river. "Movement," he mouthed.
Sheppard stifled the groan, or he thought he did, and watched the direction Ronon pointed. The glint off metal reflected through the trees. They were still out of sight due to a bend in the river, but the chance for discovery increased the longer they stayed there. The reflecting metal looked like the same material a Wraith stunner was made out of. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Decision made. Ronon grabbed Lorne and they made for the tree line. Hide, wait and run down river. This did not bode well for the others. Hell, it did not bode well for them. With a quick look over his shoulder, he hoped they were being as quiet as leaves falling because those men were getting closer.
Dense underbrush provided an adequate hiding place to await their fate.
The group stopped at their place on the bank and scanned the tree line. They aimed their weapons at the trees and started to disperse into the forested area.
Ronon and he exchanged glances. They were going to have to fight; the men were out flanking them. He did not recognize the style of dress and this could all be a big misunderstanding--riiight.
Howdy y'all, we're strangers in these parts. We were accidentally blown off that there mountain and into y'all's lovely river. Could y'all point us the way to the Stargate?
Why yes, we'd be glad to. First, go to where the river forks at the squirrel like creature…then stand real still and let us zap you and drag your sorry ass to our stronghold.
Sheppard shook his head. He must have hit it harder than he thought. However, he did not remember hitting it at all.
Ronon brought out his knife as Sheppard did the same; their respective guns long gone down river. Something diverted the bad guys' attention and everyone returned to the river bank. Then they ran back the way they came.
Unbelievable, luck like that just did not happen for his team.
They stayed put for a good quarter hour. He finally motioned for Ronon to take a look. Cautiously, Ronon moved out from their hiding place in the undergrowth. His eyes scanned for any movement while keeping low to the ground in a commando crawl. He walked back and shrugged.
It was nice to have luck on their side for once.
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Sheppard's yelling followed by a full body slam into the ground was the last thing she remembered. Elizabeth sat up on her elbows woozily. An arm draped over her abdomen stopped her, Cpl. Cavanaugh's arm to be exact. Still mimicking outerwear, she thought appreciatively. She gently moved the arm to his side and felt for a pulse while doing it. Thankfully, he had one.
Rodney was further up the road sprawled out like a child doing snow angels in the gravel. Teyla lay at her feet breathing if the rise and fall of her chest was any indication. She looked back down the road and her stomach tied itself in a knot. Where there had been five, there was only one. Elizabeth exhaled. She would deal with that in a minute. The ones closest to her, she would check first.
Cavanaugh was unconscious with no visible injuries, the same with Teyla. She finally crawled over to Rodney. He started to stir as she drew near him. His first reaction was to swat at her while saying something. His eyes popped open. They looked at one another for a good five count. She pointed to her ears and he shook his head. He pointed at her and she shook her head. An annoying ringing was all that registered with her brain and most likely his too. He started shaking.
Oh Rodney, don't lose it yet. We have a few problems to work through first, and then you can have a good old-fashioned freak out.
She looked back at Teyla; it was her turn to regain her senses- most of them anyway. Elizabeth gave Rodney the job of checking on Cavanaugh. She hoped to high hell that would keep him busy and calm for a while. Teyla sat up and nodded that she was fine as Elizabeth approached. Then, the silence registered with her as well. She appeared to stoically accept the situation- for now.
Weir pointed back down the road to where the rest of the group had been. She and Teyla staggered towards the one remaining person. It was Pvt. Jones or so said his dog tags. Weir closed her eyes; usually, dog tags do not lie. They were the only reason she could even tell.
Four were missing. She inspected the blast area and realized nauseatingly that only three were actually missing. Another set of dog tags were imbedded in the cliff wall along with other bodily stuff. She really wanted to throw up.
Teyla stood further away near the river side of the road. She turned to Weir and pointed down. Now she was going to have a real battle not to just out right vomit. Weir stepped to the edge and looked down. Ronon's sword and gear were lodged in a fallen tree partially submerged in the water. She realized that instead of falling to their deaths, they had fallen into the river. That fact gave her hope they were still alive. The vomit receded a little.
Weir gave a half-smile to Teyla. All they had to do was return to Atlantis and bring help. She looked back at Rodney who was helping Cavanaugh to his feet. An unexpected blue shimmering light struck them both. They stiffened and dropped to the ground.
Teyla was still looking over the edge and did not see the blast. Weir grabbed her arm and quickly pulled her to the cliff's face. She proceeded to play a game of Charades to explain what happened, then thought better of it. She mouthed "Wraith" and pointed to the other two. Teyla got the gist immediately, but shook her head 'no'.
Small rocks and pebbles tumbled down the side of the cliff from feet loosening it up as someone walked overhead. They both looked around and came to the same conclusion. They had two choices: remain on the cliff face or jump into the river. They would have to leave Rodney and Cavanaugh either way.
The situation had gone from bad to worse.
They both noticed movement to their right on top of the cliff. A man stood up there with a Wraith stunner. He had a clear shot due to a turn in the road that jutted the cliff out. They turned back towards Rodney and Cavanaugh. Another man armed with a stunner stood next to the fallen pair.
They ran for the river.
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A/N: OK, the counter's not working. So I can't feed my need of seeing if anyone is reading besides those reviewing. Fickle, so fickle is this sight sometimes. Please let me know, I must know!