Collapse
by ani
Disclaimer: it's all CLAMP's universe, I'm only playing in it.
Warning: Doumeki's alittle ooc here.
He stopped sweeping once he caught sight of him. That dark hair hanging in his scowling face always made him want to smile. But he'd held it back, he wasn't ready...
The idiot's joy at lunch gave him a whole new reason.
Kunogi had asked Watanuki to go out with her tomorrow. Just the two of them.
Of course, Watanuki jumped to conclusions - she was going to confess her feelings and they'd live happily ever after.
He turned toward the gate as he stopped and waited, tapping his foot.
Who lives happily ever after?
His conclusions seemed to be chasing him as badly as those spirits were after the idiot.
So he turned back and started sweeping.
The stomping would have made him smirk. "Don't ignore me you asshole! Yuko's got another job for us. Come on-"
"No."
"- Yuko said I had to get you before..." he finished before he realized what he'd said. "Huh?"
"I said no. I can't keep doing this."
"What, these jobs?" he paused, shrugging slightly, "Well... you never get anything for it... and you do get hurt a lot..."
"That's not what I'm talking about," he turned to him again. "I can't do this anymore. I've got to face the facts, stop pretending."
"Face what facts? What the hells are you muttering about?" he suddenly launched into a rant.
He wasn't happy about this one.
"That you aren't hiding anything. That you really mean what you say." he sighed as he stared into those beautiful blue eyes. "That you really are that oblivious."
He wrenched his gaze away. "Quit talking like Yuko and answer me damn it!" his voice wavered between rage and confusion.
He just kept staring. "I had thought, hoped it was all an act, trying to get me into this rivalry you claim is between us. But after the ghost story ceremony, Yuko started throwing us together, you came to me for help, confided in me. We've helped each other a lot," he paused as his hand moved to his eye. "Even with the bentos; I only expected the next day, but you let me goad you into more, you kept bringing what I asked for."
He smiled softly as he jumped, raising his head again.
"I never complained, never doubted any of it, never doubted you..." his eyes got steely, that gruff voice getting colder, harder. "But I started doubting myself."
He narrowed his eyes, confused, "What do you mean?"
"Hmpf... Yuko kept throwing us together, hinting at... even Kunogi sees something between us..." mentioning both of them seemed to upset and confuse him even more. "I confess."
"Confess what?" he sputtered before he froze, staggering back, "Y-You don't mean... you..."
"I pinned my hope on Yuko's claim what we're destined. I kept telling myself I could wait. I wanted you to figure out your feelings on your own. I didn't want you to feel you owed me." he stepped closer, stopping at arms length. "I have to let go of the hope and face the facts. You don't feel the same for me."
"Doumeki..." he started, voice wavering.
He had to stop himself from cupping his cheek. Clenching that hand between them, he caught the brief twinge of fear in his eyes. "I can't keep doing this. You don't even consider me a friend. But I do love you Watanuki Kimihiro. I've put my life in danger countless time just to make sure you survive. You had my heart and soul long before you had my eye."
He just stood there and watched him, his eyes darting back and forth, unfocused as he looked back. His voice was barely above a whisper, "Then why...?"
He fought to stay in control. "Your 'date' tomorrow. Even though you're jumping to conclusions..." he had to turn away, close his eyes. "I wanted you to know," he took a few steps back, turning to the temple as he finished. "So I can try to get over you."
The slow footsteps made him turn his head as he opened the door. He just watched him wander off the grounds.