Me: HA!
Al: Ha, What?
Ed: Oh no…
Al: What…
Me: Major Quackers, the rubber ducky commander…
Al: gulps Y-Y-You wouldn't!
Me: I will… Introducing the FIFTH installment of "Caught in the Act" Alphonse!
Al: I hate you…
Caught in the Act: Alphonse Elric, The Bath Time Alchemist.
Alphonse had a pile of miscellaneous toiletries in his arms as he made is way to the bathroom. Edward wasn't home so Alphonse had access to the bathtub before Edward did, and to him that was an advantage because he liked to have long Alphonse "Me" times that involved a lot of foam and off key songs.
Alphonse set his things on the toilet and set a radio on the counter tuning it to his favorite music station and turning on the hot water.
Alphonse sighed as he took off his shirt and looked in the mirror. After being in armor for so long he forgot he was human it was a shock to be able to not see his reflection in his skin. He flexed his right arm watching his muscles stretch and contract. He smiled. This was his guilty pleasure time, and no you frikken pervs it doesn't mean Al whacks off to the tune of ready steady go…
What alphonse defined as "His guilty pleasure time" was in fact bath time. In all sad truth Alphonse Elric, liked to take a bath. He had a fetish for looking at himself with hot water dripping from his short blonde hair, but as most fangirls I know would say, it really wasn't a bad thing to have. He was finally human after four frikken years of being a soul in armor, I mean come on! If you had been like that for four years you'd do the same fucking thing… Alphonse glanced at the half water, half foam filled tub and smiled turning off the water.
Alphonse took an army of rubber ducks from the under sink cupboard and tossed them into the bath with a smile.
LATER…
Edward came home yawning and he went to his room and changed clothes and that's when he heard it…
"FOREFIT THE GAME BEFORE SOMBODY ELSE TAKES YOU OUTTA FRAME, PUT'S YOUR NAME TO SHAME, COVER UP YOUR FACE, YOU CAN'T RUN THE RACE THE PACE IS TO FAST YOU JUST WON'T LAST." The loud off key words came.
"Nani?" Edward asked himself then began to explore the house to find the badly singing person. When Edward had gotten to the bathroom the singing had stopped but he heard his brother's voice.
"Major Quack, the mission is dangerous. One false move and Lt. Quack and the rest of your team will be buried in the big foamy bathtub in the sky…" Alphonse's voice said. Edward pressed his ear to the door to listen in as Alphonse described a "Dangerous" mission to someone by the name of "Major Quack".
After an hour of Major Quack's briefing loud miniature splashes were heard along with Alphonse shouting, "ABORT MISSION!" over and over again. By now Edward was hella curious and he slowly opened the door. Edward got the door open and stared at Alphonse before saying: "Nani?"
Edward opened and closed the door a few times and by the fifth time he did this Alphonse had noticed the Elder Elric.
"ED!" Alphonse shouted as he took a Napoleon hat from his head and tried to hide it behind his back.
"I'm not even gunna ask…" Edward said leaving with a disturbed look.
Alphonse had been playing with an army of Rubber ducks, and one of the ducks had a plastic Napoleon hat on and was obviously "Major Quack" and Alphonse had been splashing around like a five-year-old wearing an elaborate Napoleon hat of his own.
Hell, everyone's heard of Master card well here's what had been floating through Edward's mind as he walked away:
Rubber ducks: $10
Napoleon hat for Halloween: $30
Bubble bath bubble solution: $3
Hot water bill: $120
Seeing your little brother who's fourteen years old playing with rubber ducks in a bubble bath and wearing a cosplay hat: Priceless!
There are some things nature can't provide, but for everything else there's Alchemy.
Me: Frowns hum… not that amusing? Am I loosing my touch?
Ed: I donno, but I though it was good.
Al: I hate you….
Me: Yah… What ever Al… Yes, I definitely need to make this better…
All: Sigh