Me: Here's another request from one of my reviewers! Thanks to mimiru1618 I have decided to do a Riza section…
Ed: No! Not her too!
Me: Yep… Now shut the hell up!
Ed: Yes ma'am… Sulks
Me: Good boy…
Roy: Kate is it really wise of you to keep this up?
Me: Yes… you have no clue what my fans will do if I don't continue…
Roy: Alright… Shrugs
Caught in the Act: Riza Hawkeye, Immature Singing Sharpshooter.
Riza sat in her office sucking on a cherry flavored lolli-pop as she read a book called: "Basic Weapon Building Guide For Amateurs".
"ARF, ARF!" a small black and white dog whined as he clawed at the door. Riza looked over her book and looked fondly at the dog before removing the pop from her mouth, setting it on it's wrapper.
"All right Black Hayate. I'll take you out for a walk…" Riza said taking out a blue leash and called the dog over to her. "Sit, Good. Shake, Good. Play dead… O.K. that needs work…" Riza said as she gave Black Hayate some basic commands. He knew 'sit', which he preformed, 'shake', which he did, but when it came to 'play dead', Black Hayate preferred to chase his tail instead of getting into an obscene position. Riza sighed, clipped the leash onto the collar that identified Black Hayate as a "Dog of the Millitary" quite literally, and left the office humming quietly to herself. Black Hayate let out a whine that meant he had to take a potty break and Riza grinned as she quickly made her way to Roy Mustang's office with Black Hayate in tow.
Later an Angry male shout and cursing was heard by most of the military as Roy Mustang stepped right in the present Black Hayate had left for him.
"Capt. Hawkeye!" Roy shouted as loud as he could and minutes passed as he waited with his right foot in the pile of smelly dog crap. Riza poked her head in with her Cherry lolli-pop in mouth as she smiled innocently at Roy.
"Yes Colonel? Is there a problem?" Riza asked her eyes sparkling with a slight hint of "you had this coming yah now, Karma works like that…"
"I would kindly like to know why there is dog shit on my floor…"
"I don't know sir… maybe Havoc let Black Hayate in as a joke, Sir."
"What ever, just keep the dog out next time…"
With that Riza left with a sense of superiority. It made her feel good to have pulled a prank on Roy, and to think about it she may do it again. Riza smiled when she got back to her office unaware that Roy had set up a recording device using alchemy while she was walking back. On this note, she began to sing quietly at first then a little more loudly.
"I'm a Winry girl! In a Winry wooooorrrrllllldddd!" She sang still oblivious to the recording device. "I'm made of plastic, It's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me anywhere!" Riza then chuckled as she stopped the song and began a different version of the song. "I'm a Alphonse girl, my face makes you huuuuuuurrrrrrrrlllllllll! Acne everywhere unwanted facial hair! I'm a relation to frankenstine's creation! Let's go Alphonse, you disgust me!" Riza sang then heard something that made her stop for a moment. It was chuckling. She figured it was Lt. Jean Havoc walking around proud to take the blame for the dog crap incident and continued with another song this one more retarded than the last.
"I hate you! You hate me! Let's get together and kill Armstrong…" Riza paused and scratched her head, she couldn't remember the lyrics, and neither did she care so she switched songs again. "Tic-tac-toe, three in a row, Roy got shot by a G.I. Joe, Maes called the doctor and the doctor said... FUCK ROY IS DEAD!" Riza sang the last part louder than normal and she heard miscellaneous giggling from outside, but paid no mind to it. She thought for a moment then pranced around her office singing more. "I'm a little tea pot short and stout, my name is Edward so please don't shout! I have a temper and I'll go off, so just you try and piss me off! (pause) Deck the halls with gasoline, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, Light the match and hear Roy scream, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, Sit back and watch the flames flicker, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, aren't you glad you played with fire? fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Riza then became aware that the laughing had grown louder since she had started singing and opened her office door to find Jean, Maes, Roy, Armstrong, Edward, Alphonse, Fuery, Breda, and Falman all listening in laughing their asses off.
"What in the name of…" Riza thought then realized Roy had been listening all along and she pulled out her gun an angry look crossing her face. "YOU HAVE THE COUNT OF THREE TO SCRAM AND NEVER SAY A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE!" Riza shouted and chased Roy down the halls.
Roy knew to keep running but soon he'd have to face her and let her know, Karma is a royal pain in the ass.
Me: Giggles
Tara: Is your history done yet?
Me: No…
Tara: Why not?
Me: Cause… this is more fun…
Tara: you are frikkin stupid…
Me: Thanks to Mimiru-Chan for the beautiful idea of Riza singing immature songs, it was inspiring! Also to Janet Jimenez for allowing me to "Steal" her History homework in exchange for me writing her 'Life on Mars' Essay, HAH! Equivalent Exchange BITCHES!
Tara: Takes Janet's history work book from under mine KATE!
Me: Y…Yes?
Tara: What's this?
Me: Janet-chan's Workbook?
Tara: YOU CHEATED!
Me: No… weren't you listening?
Tara: Attempts to strangle me (Kate) YOU'RE A BAD LIAR!
Me: GACK!
Kudos to:
Mimiru618 – The Riza Section
Taragwaltney – The Armstrong Section (Coming soon!)
Jimmy Mendez – The Scar Section
Mom and Elizabeth Olsen – The Roy Section
AND……
Kaylee Tomsen – The Russell and Fletcher Section (Coming later…), The Edward Section, The Alphonse Section, and The Winry Section
"Yah… insane birds of a feather flock all over the place…." – Me!