Uncle Hulk

DISCLAIMER I own nothing, not even Glee

Chapter 1: Don't Make Puck Angry

Noah Puckerman was driving past the park when he saw his niece, Liza Marie Anderson, running from a group of kids crying. As soon as he stops and gets out of his truck, Liza Marie runs to him, crying, "Uncle Hulk!" over and over.

Then the kids froze and some of them peed themselves. Noah just smirks as he holds Liza Marie in his arms, as he says to the other kids, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Before the kids ran away crying.

Soon Noah is taking Liza Marie home and he says," Let me guess, those little jerks were bullying you for having two dads."

Liza Marie looks down as she says, "They always do and I was always able to handle it until today. There were just too many of them this time and they were scaring me. Then I saw your truck and I was really glad you stopped, Uncle Nono."

When they got to her house, they saw Blaine outside yelling at another man saying, "I didn't send anyone to scare your son and I'm sure he deserved it! He has been bullying my daughter for weeks now!"

Then the man's son started to cry when he saw Noah getting Liza Marie out of his truck. Noah recognizes the man immediately and says, "Hey, John, I see you met Congressman Hummel's son in law!" Then John's face goes white, before he grabs his son, and heads to his truck.

Soon Blaine is chuckling as he says to Noah, "Let me guess, you're the one that scared his son. Ha, Liza Marie has been calling you, Uncle Hulk, for a couple of months now. She begged me to tell you about the bullying, but Kurt wouldn't let me, and said she didn't need your help."

Then they see Kurt coming outside with Burt, who says to Noah, "God, Puck, I think you made that guy piss himself. Carole went shopping for a few things and will be back soon with Rachel. "

Then he leans in to whisper, "Rachel went to a Build-A-Bear shop and made a Hulk doll with a mohawk."

Noah chuckles as he looks over at Liza Marie and says, "Good thing, she's Blaine's daughter, or I would have to rib Kurt over the fact I'm her first crush."

Then they all go inside and see Santana feeding Quinn as she sits in her wheelchair. Quinn had a stroke that left her crippled and half her face paralyzed.

Noah took an early retirement from the Air Force and bought Burt's old shop from his buddy Mick.

When Quinn sees Liza Marie, she says, "Hey, you! Happy Birthday, Liza Marie. Big girl!" Then she looks over at Burt and asks, "Talk, now? Your Beth? Good time?" Burt looks over at Noah and says, "Sure, Quinn. What do you want to know?"

Quinn looks over at Liza Marie as she says, "Know happen? Scared too?" Burt takes her hand before saying, "Quinn, do you really want to hear me say what Kurt would always tell me?"

Quinn looks at her belly and says, "I'm scared! Told abort! Save self! Didn't listen! Now, this! Hurt Nono! Beth Shelby's! New daughter! Me, this! Nono's dreams! All gone! No Beth! Don't want! Him, you! Single father!"

Then Burt chuckles before saying, "Yeah, well, Puck has way more guns and already scares the piss out of kids. Besides, Quinn, If I'm still around when your daughter starts to date those boys won't have a chance."

Burt puts his hat on Noah's head while Noah has his arms crossed. Before Quinn looks at Blaine and says, "So glad, has you! Ha, God! Nono gay! Kurt dead!"

Then she looked at Burt and said, "Or you, kill Nono! Before date, haha."

Soon Liza Marie says, "Auntie Queenie, You should have seen Nono at the park earlier. It was awesome!"

Then she touches Quinn's belly and says, "If the kids tease her, over having you as a mom. I bet that Nono will be like Grandpa Burt was. Ha, I might be like Auntie Tana too!"

Quinn just looks over at Burt and says, "Me, Your Beth, same. Read diary, Finn's stuff. Outside Rachel, inside me. Ha Liza, inside Rachel. Outside Kurt."

Liza Marie glares at Quinn before she says to her, "Sorry Liza, No Tana."

Then Liza Marie raises her eyebrow and clenches her fists. Before Quinn says, "Ha see, No Tana. That's Nono, Not Tana!"

Then Blaine says with a chuckle, "Hey, now, Quinn hold on that is my daughter and I was a fighter too,"

Quinn just giggles as she says, "Yea, but. Nono, crush. You Papa."

Then Quinn busts out laughing before she says to Santana, "Remember Kurt dating Brittany?"

Kurt started to blush as Burt said, "I sure do." Before he looks over at Noah and says, "Finn wasn't his first crush and your teasing him drove him crazy."

Kurt glares at Burt and yells, "I did not have a crush on Puck, Dad!"

Burt just chuckles as he says, "Oh, so I just imagined seeing you at your mother's grave, telling her about a Mohawked neanderthal. That was starting to remind you of me."

Before Quinn asks, "When crush?"

Burt chuckles and says, "The last time you were pregnant."

Then Quinn says, "Tana, get purse."

As soon as she gets her purse, she says, "Give Burt, fifty dollars." Then Quinn says to Burt, "A bet's a bet."

Kurt just storms out and Noah says to Blaine, "I got this, man."

As he follows Kurt outside. As Kurt sits on the porch swing, he says, "I know, I know, you don't swing that way. I'm not mad at Quinn, Puck. I'm mad at myself. I have wanted someone like Dad for years and you, the straightest guy around. Was the only one that fit the bill. So, I moved on to Finn coming up with the craziest scheme ever to get him to be my boyfriend! Ha, I guess I should thank you though, because if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't have found Blaine, plus, if it wasn't for Santana we wouldn't be married."

Soon they hear Rachel say, "And if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have Liza Marie as a daughter." Then she showed Noah the Hulk doll and says, "Puck, I'm so glad you are straight and Liza Marie's crush started before she could talk. Ha, let's just say, there is a reason I made this doll."

Noah chuckles as he says, "Rach, I know, she calls me Uncle Hulk, and no offense. But if I was gay Quinn would have got to be the Baby Mama."

Before Rachel can respond they hear Liza Marie scream, "Queenie!" and Burt says, "Call 911!"

Later, when Quinn wakes up in the hospital, she hears Noah yelling at someone saying, "That is my wife in there and my baby! You better do whatever it takes to make sure she carries my daughter to term!"

Then she sees Liza Marie holding the Hulk doll from Rachel as she stands in the doorway of Quinn's hospital room. Before Liza Marie says, "Queenie?" Quinn tries to speak, but can't and begins to cry, and when Noah comes in she says, "Bbbb."

Then Burt comes in as he says, "I'm here, Quinn."

Quinn shakes her head no before Noah says, "She's on her way, babe."

Quinn looks over at Burt, then back at Noah before breaking down as she cries herself to sleep.

When she wakes up again, Burt is still there, but Noah is gone. Burt takes her hand and says, "Puck had to go outside to make a phone call.

Then they heard Noah scream, "Goddamn it! Beth, I'm not asking for much here! I just want you to come to see Quinn!"

Soon he screams a guttural roar before saying, "Fucking bitch!"

As soon as Noah returns, Burt says with a chuckle, "God, Puck, I heard that from here! I take it Beth isn't coming to see Quinn."

Noah just fluffs Quinn's pillow as he says, "I don't want to talk about it, Mr. H."

Before Quinn elbows him hard in the stomach and he says, "Okay, babe, geez!"

Then he says to Burt, "Basically, Mr. H. Beth refuses to come see Quinn and is being a total bitch about it."

Burt just squeezes Noah's shoulder and says, "I'm sure she'll come around, son." Then he leaves the room to go get some coffee.

When he returns he hears Noah saying, "You are not going to die, Quinn! Now, come on! Stop this! You have been like this ever since you found that goddamn diary! You are not Elizabeth!"

As Burt comes back into the room, he says, "Quinn, Puck is right here, and might I add you are stronger than Elizabeth too. In the end she just gave up. Ha, you better be thankful Kurt didn't try to get me to date Norah."

Soon they are all laughing before Noah says, "Ha, I told Ma about Kurt's crush and she is just glad Sarah doesn't know about it. Ha, Let's just say she wanted it to happen more than Kurt did."

Then Quinn yawns and Noah says, "Okay, babe, we'll let you rest." Before he lowers the head of the bed and tucks her in.

Chapter 2 will be up soon