"Lithia! Lithia wake up!
"What, what! Moose? What the fuck?"
"Lith honey, we have a huge problem!"
Moose lead Lithia outside where a terrible sight met her eyes. The ground beneath her feet was scorched and blackened. Nearby Nikoleena was lying on a rock with a stakr through her heart and a cross carved into her chest. Lithia hissed in disgust,
"Vampire hunters! Where the fuck's Rachelle?"
"Guys? Little help?"
The two vampires spun round to find Rachelle's various body parts piled up by a stream.
Oh guys thank fuck! I've been stuck like this all day...sorry about the dog but yeah this dude appeared out of nowhere and well... he scared me and, and I just fell apart. What a bastard though, it was so mean of him what with my emotional trauma and everything, and... and..."
She burst into tears, Lithia shook her head,
"For fucks sake! Shut up Rachelle, pull yourself together! Moose get me a sewing kit so we can stitch her up. We need to get out of here before that vampire hunter comes back."
Half an hour later the two vampires managed to stitch the still sobbing ghoul back together. Moose stepped back,
"There good as new."
Rachelle looked down at her newly repaired body and started to wail uncontrollably. Moose looked confused,
"What? What's wrong?"
He looked helplessly at Lithia who looked helplessly back.
"You missed, I lost, my my-"
"What? What have you lost?"
Rachelle wailed louder, Lithia looked at her exasperated,
"For God's sake! Shut up! Moose shut her up! Fucks sake, I can't hear myself think!"
Rachelle screamed,
"I've lost my penis!"
She collapsed to the floor in despair. Lithia groaned in exasperation as Moose attempted to pick the distraught Rachelle off the floor,
"Look Rach you never have a penis! You're a chick, not a dude."
Rachelle stopped crying and looked at him,
"Oh yeah! Silly me! So...what's happening?"
They both looked over to Lithia who had already packed everyone's bags using her amazing vampire speed.
"We're leaving, now. We can travel around for a bit and lay low. But remember no werewolf hunting, no large scale massacres and no taking Rachelle out in public until this all dies down. Understand?"
Moose started to protest but he saw the glare on Lithia's face and thought better of it. They both nodded.
"Now Moose go steal us a car, its probably best we don't use our powers for a while."
Moose looked confused,
"But you- oh never mind."
About an hour later Moose had sucessfuly found a car and the three of them were on the road, their adventure had begun.
However someone else had heard their conversation in the woods. The vampire hunter stepped out behind a tree and chuckled to himself. Killing these three idiots would be the easiest job he'd ever done...