(Hazbin Hotel)
It was the day after Naruto had slept with Charlie and Vaggie. Currently he was cuddled up to the princess and her lover after their night of passion. As he laid basking in the feeling of cuddling with his two girls, he was suddenly awoken as his phone started to ring.
Naruto groaned as he opened his eyes and looked at who was calling him.
"The hell do you want Blitz?" Naruto asked groaning from being awoken by his boss this way.
"Yeah yeah whatever. Listen, we got a job that just came in. I'd let you keep your day off normally but I need you for this one. Dude we're hunting is a serial killer. Real Jack the Ripper type. All we got is that he moves through back alleys frequently." Blitzo said nonchalantly as if he was doing something else while talking to him on the phone.
"... are you still stuck on that damn rubik's cube?" Naruto asked Blitz as he had been stuck on that thing for 3 weeks.
"Just get your ass here fully clothed" Blitzo told him before hanging up.
"Goddammit" Naruto sighed as he started to get out of Charlie and Vaggie's embrace to get dressed.
"Come back to bed my prince" Charlie told him as she woke from his movements
"Yes papi I want more of your love" Vaggie said as she woke up as well and tried to pull him back into the bed.
"Sorry ladies but a job just came up" Naruto told them
"I'm gonna kill Blitz" Vaggie said with a frown
"For once I don't think it's his fault. He said we're hunting down some back alley serial killer. Like Jack the Ripper styled." Naruto said
"Then you better kill him honey" Charlie said with a malicious grin.
"Hey none of that I like you when your a sweetheart" Naruto said with a smile as he kissed Charlie on the forehead making her smile
"No trust me if this target's being compared to the ripper he needs to die" Vaggie said in agreement with Charlie's request
"Oh I'm gonna kill him. Don't worry about that babe" Naruto said as he also kissed vaggie on the forehead before he left in a flash of light
"... He forgot to get dressed" Vaggie said realizing he flashed out still nude.
(earth)
Naruto, Blitzo, Millie and Loona had just gotten done killing the serial killer and were getting ready to leave
"Nice kill Blitz" Loona told her adopted father who was currently cleaning off a knife after butchering The serial killer
"Thanks Loonie. Here's your knife back Naruto. I think I got most of the brains off" Blitzo said, holding up one of Naruto's Kunai knives.
Before Naruto could take the knife his senses went off and he instinctively pushed Millie into an open portal, out of the way of something before something clicked around his neck
"Ha! He took the hit for one of the females just like Intel said!" a male voice said
"What the fuck?!" Naruto shouted as suddenly he felt his chakra be blocked off.
"Don't even try it demon that thing makes it so your powers are gone. Now be a good little demon and come with us for your experiments. Painful experiments" a female voice said.
"Mayberry close it now!" Blitzo shouted as he pulled out his pistol to try and help Naruto fight off the man and woman wearing suits.
Loona who was on the other side of the portal with Millie was about to charge at them but it closed
"If you think I'm gonna-" Narutosaid before he was shot with what looked like several tranquilizers "Oh fuck you" he groaned as he fell
"Naruto!" Blitzo shouted in concern before firing at the two suit-wearing people with his flintlock pistol. Unfortunately he found himself hit by a net that suddenly sprung to life with electricity. Shocking him to unconsciousness.
(IMP headquarters)
"OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL!" Loona and Millie roared at Mayberry
"Who's yelling?" Verosika groaned as she came into the office holding a liquor bottle
"I thought you were off the stuff?" Mayberry asked Verosika
"Me and Cherri were having fun, wait where's Naruto?" Verosika asked confused
"He and Blitz just got captured by demon hunters!" Millie yelled out in
Verosika's eyes widened at this but before she could respond they heard a crash
When they looked at the entrance to IMP they saw Charlie and Vaggie in front of a broken take out order of ramen they brought to Naruto for lunch
"... come again" they asked together as their expressions turned murderous
"Oh fuck" Mayberry said in slight panic
"Open…the…portal NOW!" Charlie roared at Mayberry as a rapier suddenly appeared in her hands from a burst of hellfire.
(Back in the alleyway)
The portal opened and Millie, Loona, Verosika, Mayberry, Charlie, and Vaggie stepped through
Millie looked around and saw that there was nobody here
"Shit! Shit shit! They're gone!" She yelled angrily and sadly on the verge of tears.
"We'll find them" Loona told them
"How the fuck did they capture him" Vaggie asked with a scowl as she held her spear
"I saw something wrapped around Naruto's neck as he pushed me through a portal. Some kind of white collar" Millie said as she stood up.
"What?! Nobody marks him but me!" Verosika yelled
"... really?" Mayberry asked deadpan.
"We should probably get some back up on standby." Loona suggested
"We have 5 of Naruto's bitches mad as hell vs humans like they have a shot" Verosika said with a growl
"We should at least call Octavia." Loona said knowing her best friend would want to know
"Oh you just want to massacre them don't you?" Verosika said as loona sniffed for a scent
"And you don't?" Loona asked with a raised eyebrow
"Yeah but Via would just kill them all leaving nothing for us to interrogate" Verosika said darkly
"Good! Now let's go!" Millie yelled impatiently
"Ok I have the scent, follow me fellow bitches!" Loona said as she led them down the alleyway
(with Naruto)
"Ugh my head! What happened?" Naruto groaned as he woke up only to see a bright light shined in his face.
"Bout time you woke up" Blitzo said from behind Naruto where he was tied to a chair along with Naurto
"Oh satan dammit. They tied us together?" Naruto groaned
"Hey you could do worse than me- oh ok" Blitzo said as agent 1 approached shining a light in his face
"What's your reason for coming to the human world.
"Who do you work for? Satan?" Agent two asked Naruto as shes shijed a light in his face
"No but I'm sticking it to his daughter" Naruto said
"Ha!" Blitzo laughed
"He has a daughter?! One write that down!" Agent two ordered her partner
"Ok if we're gonna do this can we get coffee? They always give coffee out in shit movies like this. I want something iced bitch! Naruto?" Blitzo asked
"I'd like a foam cafe latte with half mocha sprinkles and half caramel syrup half chocolate syrup, make sure the foam doesn't spill over, the coffee on the bottom with the milk in the middle with a bit of chocolate chopped into the mix with a second layer of coffee on top and second layer of milk on top followed soon after by the whipped cream then the chopped mocha sprinkles and make sure they are even and no more than 4 or 5 ounces of milk or else the beans won't have the right texture. And make sure my name is spelled right. I fucking hate when people misspell it!" Naruto stated
"Enough! We ain't getting yous guys coffee!" agent 1 yeled
"Wow I was getting major douche chills Naruto. Respect." Blitzo said smiling at Naruto who smirked back
"If we have to we are willing to restort to torture to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts!"Agent 2 said
"We talking physical or psychological, physical is kinda pointless since we'd just say anything to stop the pain and you wouldn't really know if it was true." Naruto said
"Or we might like it too much, and then you've got a whole new problem." Blitzo said
"What do you mean?" agent 1 asked
"Oh! Watch it Blitzo he's stupid your favorite type and he looks like a guy who takes in the bum." Naruto laughed
"Hot damn that burn was nice! Daddy likey dummy" Blitzo laughed along with Naruto
"You better stop laughing at us!" agent 2 yelled at them
"Yeah you are the ones at our mercy!" Agent 1 yelled
"Really? You sure about that, how do you know we haven't put you under some demonic mind trick and this is all just your imagination playing tricks on you?" Naruto said smirking as the two agents froze up for a few moments.
"Also for all you know we're just playing hostage cause we're both bored and could just break out of this at anytime and go on a bloody rampage through this bitch." Blitzo added. "And trust me my boy Naruto here has made killing an art form."
"Hey! Thanks man." Naruto said with a smile
"No problem. I still remember that yappy jogger kill. Good times!" Blitz smirked
"Now then are you two done with this little foreplay?" Naruto asked with a smirk
"Don't try and trick us our intel told us that your powerless with that collar on so you can't do anything to stop us agent 1 said
"And how do you know If that's true? Have You ever used this thing before now?" Naruto asked with a smirk
"Then break out smart ass" agent 2 said
Naruto growled at this as he had been trying to break free of his chains but he couldn't
"Well I would break out but it seems like the lady would rather get kinky with me. After all I'm tied up and at her mercy" Naruto smirked
"I'm not into some fox freak!" She yelled
"Ah she's a carpet muncher" Blitzo said with a smirk
Naruto snorted at this as he laughed
"That was one time at band camp- I mean You better stop laughing at us!" she yelled at the two
"I'm really sorry it's kinda hard to take you two seriously I mean you have had us for hours and you two morons haven't even confirmed what we are Naruto said with a condescending smile
"What are you?" agent 2 asked
"I'm a Libra bitch" Naruto smirked
"HA!" Blitzo yelled
"Guess we'll just have to torture the info out of you!" Agent 1 growled
"Ooh kinky! Use the tight straps" Blitzo smirked at them
"Ah! We are not getting kinky with yous!" agent 1 yelled as he and agent 2 jumped back
"I don't know I can smell the arousal from your partner there. She needs a new change of panties. I don't blame her though. I'm just far too sexy for mortals to witness" Naruto smirked at them
"... is he right?" Agent 1 asked his partner before getting slapped
"Don't encourage him!" She growled
"Hey can we get a phone call bitch?" Blitzo asked as agent 1 approached him
"That depends. Who you gonna call?" The agent asked with a smirk
"Your fat mom! Taking her for a fat time!" "Blitzo yelled with a smile
"Ha! Jokes on you demon! His fat mom is dead!" Agent 2 shouted as agent 1 started to cry.
Naruto and Blitzo laughed hard at this as they stomped their feet like lunatics.
(with the girls)
The girls were behind a building that was labeled as DHORKS
"First I will castrate any and all who stand in my way of my prince l. Then I will flay alive any human women that so much as look at him. And finally I shall let him fuck me over their smoldering corpses and ashes." Charlie was muttering to herself going full demon
"Charlie we need to sneak in at first and find Naruto" first Vaggie said
"Also maybe I want to get fucked over the corpses. Ever think about that?" Verosika asked
"... really?" Mayberry asked deadpan
"Succubus" Verosika said simply
"You're also half Uchiha so step up bitch!" Millie yelled
"Uchiha ain't a race sexy. It's just a dysfunctional family." Verosika said
"So your just gonna let these fuckers hold your man hostage?" Loona asked
Verosika growled this "who the fuck said I was gonna do that?! I'll show you what a Uchiha can do!" she yelled as her eyes changed and she kicked down the side door of the building.
"Holy shit!" Loona muttered in shock at that
Suddenly alarms started to blare as several agents ran at Verosika with swords.
"Playtime's over!" She growled before unleashing a giant fireball from her mouth incinerating them
"Cower in awe! Drown in despair! This is my power! The power of an Uchiha! True Demonic power!" She shouted in fury
"Who knew the slut had this in her" Vaggie said as she stabbed an agent through the head
"... starting to see Naruto's weariness around Uchiha's now" Millie muttered. He had told her of an Uchiha he faced that said similar things.
And consequently could summon fucking meteors from the sky.
"Burn you fuckers burn!" Verosika shouted, still incinerating agents coming at her.
"If it get results, who cares!" Charlie yelled as she stabbed an agent with her rapier through the neck.
(with Naruto)
"Stop insulting my mother! She's dead!" Agent 1 yelled at Blitzo who was smiling
"Hey we'll stop insulting your mother when we get a sexy bitch to fuck here!" Naruto jeered "and since that ain't happening we'll just keep mocking her fat dead ass" Naruto smirked
"ok you two want to run your mouths? Fine we can let you wait in here while we deal with some intruders we have" Agent 2 said as she dragged agent 1 out
"Aww but I'll miss looking at your tits! It's the only part I can enjoy looking at" Naruto whined fakely
They're fake" Blitzo said with a smirk
"Oh nevermind then" Naruto said as even he had standards
"Hey fuck you! My fake tits are amazing!" Agent 2 growled
"Well you were at best a 7 out of 10. Now that I know your tits are fake though you're about a 5" Naruto smirked
Agent 2 yelled in frustration before her and agent 1 left the room slamming the door
"If your ass is padding you're down to a 3!" Naruto yelled before the door closed
"Oh Satan, you're killing me!" Blitzo laughed
"Thanks. I learned from one of the best" Naruto smirked at Blitzo
Blitzo smiled at this glad Naruto had an appreciation for his ability to talk trash
"So you have a plan?" Naruto asked
"Well they mentioned that they had intruders so I'm gonna assume some of your fuck squad is on the way" Blitzo said
"I figured I meant to get out of these chairs before they get here. We don't want to look like punk bitches to them" Naruto said
Before Blitzo could answer the room started to fill with green gas
"Oh good poison gas! You know that shit doesn't work on us right?" Blitzo yelled in general.
"They want answers Blitz so I'm gonna assume it's a truth telling serum" Naruto said
"You're just gonna assume that's what it is?" Blitzo asked
"Well ask me something then" Naruto said
"Ok um does Millie ever peg you?" Blitzo asked
"Hell no I am always in charge. She does like pegging Loona though" Naruto said
"Ah! I don't want to hear this!" Blitzo yelled as he tried not to imagine that
"Huh normally I wouldn't spill that without reasoning or for payback" Naruto said surprised at himself
"Do you actually love loona or is she just a pet to you?!" Blitzo yelled in frustration
"Of course I love her! I love her and all my girls! I'd revive myself and die for them as many times as needed if they asked me to" Naruto told him passionately
Blitzo said nothing at this but looked away from Naruto
"Ok that got too real. Time for my question…..do you actually like Stolas?" Naruto asked
"... Yes. Yes I do….." Blitzo sighed out as this was a subject he really didn't want to divulge under truth gas effects
"Heh V owes me money and a lapdance" Naruto said with a chuckle
"I would appreciate you keeping that to yourself. Please" Blitzo asked beggingly
"No problem, we're buds so I won't tell. Also you're essentially my father in law and so is he so I won't screw with you two's relationship for the sake of a joke or something" Naruto told him honestly
"Thanks" Blitzo said in relief
Naruto nodded at this before he started to grow tired and soon he felt himself fall to the floor
"How'd I get free?" He asked as he looked around as the room went dark. "Blitz?" He asked as he kept spinning around the dark room. When he turned fully around however he was not met by darkness. But by sunlight.
Sunlight over a familiar village. Konoha.
"That's impossible" he muttered seeing it exactly as he remembered it before walking the streets
"Demon"
"Monster"
"Beast"
"Should've died long ago"
Mutters from voices sounded as no one walked the streets but him
"What was in that gas?" Naruto questioned as he walked
"You were a terrible student!" A familiar voice shouted
"Iruka-sensei?" He questioned confused
"Pathetic" another familiar voice sounded
"Pervy sage?" Naruto questioned
"You killed us" two voices sounded a male and female
"Mom? Dad?" He asked as he was being assaulted by voice after voice
"Couldn't save your friend" Sakura's voice sounded
"You stole my power and let me die!" A loud familiar voice shouted. One he hadn't heard in a while.
"K-Kurama? No that's not what happened" Naruto stuttered out
"You are a coward Naruto!" Kurama shouted
"I am not!" Naruto shouted
"You are scared to have kids!" Verosika's voice shouted at him
"I am not!" Naruto yelled back
"Liar!" Charlie's voice sounded
"Stop it!" Naruto started to yell erratically
"Admit the truth!" Millie's voice shouted
"Admit! Admit! Admit! Admit!" Many voices chanted at him
Naruto held his hands to his ears as the voices swarmed around him like a tornado of his worst insecurities
"Failure!" Neji's voice sounded
"Monster!" Gaara's voice sounded
"Weakling!" Kakashi's voice shouted
"Dobe!" Sasuke's voice shouted
(outside of Naruto's subconscious)
Naruto was spasming like crazy in the chair. Breathing heavily. As if suffering from a panic attack. Blitzo would have spoken to him to try and calm him down. If Blitzo wasn't also in a similar state to Naruto.
(with the Girls)
"Ok you dirty mother fucker where is Naruto?!" Loona barked at a agent she had pinned to the wall
"A fishcake? The hell should I know?!" The agent yelled
"Wrong answer!" Millie yelled as she chopped off his head
"We're starting to run out of people to ask" Mayberry said gesturing to the piles of headless corpses in the room
"Hey where's everybody?!" An agent yelled walking into the room holding a cup of coffee before seeing all the corpses of his coworkers.
"Oh goody. Another person to ask for directions" Charlie growled at the man
"What are you? Some kind of demon clown?" He asked
"Sure want to hear a joke?" she asked
"Um sure?" He said confused
"Your dick" she said before stabbing him with her rapier in the crotch
"Aaaaaggggggghhhhhhh!" He screamed bloody murder
"No that was a bad joke. Jokes are supposed to be funny but your dick is just pathetic. Let me guess two inches? Now down to one?" She asked maliciously before seeing the guy start to pass out from the pain "oh you don't get to sleep yet. Tell me where my boyfriend is you kidnapped and I'll let you rest" Charlie told him
"You mean the furry freak? Oh god the pain!" the agent yelled as Vaggie stabbed him in the nuts with her spear
"She got the shaft, I got one of your tiny testicles. Wanna test us to see how much pain we can put you through down here?" Vaggie growled
"No!" He whimpered
"Then talk you ¡Maldita perra coja!" Vaggie yelled in fury
"And if you don't say it in five seconds I'll start shaving skin off your remaining testicle layer by layer with my sword here" Charlie told him
"He's a level down in interrogation!" The man whimpered out
"Good punk ass you get to live" Vaggie said
"really" The man asked shocked
"No…but why speak ill of the dead" Vaggie said as she nodded at Charlie
"Wait, you said you'd let me live!" He said to Charlie in terror
"I said I'd let you rest. She said she'd let you live. Which she is. For about 2 seconds more" Charlie said before she stabbed the man's throat.
"Nice kill" Loona complimented the princess
"Compare notes later we have to save our man!" Vaggie yelled
"And Blitz" Millie said
"Don't remind me" Verosika muttered
"You two need to work out whatever the hell happened between you" Mayberry told the popstar as she ran after the others.
"What's to work out? I was loyal and treated him great and he acted like an asshole and ditched me" Verosika glared
"Yes but you're also involved with his employee and daughter. Think you may need to bury the hatchet since he's obviously gonna be around you for a time" Millie pointed out
"Let's save this therapy crap for later anyone good at guessing numbered codes?" Mayberry asked pointing at a electronic lock
"Try one, one, one, one, one, one, one" Verosika said pointing out how worn out the button for said number was
"Oh for fucks sake" Loona said as she pressed the button and rolled her eyes
"... these people captured an overlord and a demonic hitman?" Vaggie asked deadpan
"I'm gonna assume there intel is what gave them an edge" Mayberry said as they entered the room
"Intel. Who Could possibly have intel on Naruto?" Charlie asked
"Hmmm let's see who did we piss off that would want Naruto gone?" Loona said
Millie paused at this and thought before she scowled "oh I'm gonna kill those cherubs!" she growled now realizing where that collar came from
"Heaven gave them intel?!" Vaggie asked shocked
"Well more likely some cherubs did and not the higher ups" Charlie said as she had heard from her dad that heaven had a hierarchy like hell with god as top dog. And he wouldn't waste his time on this.
"I smell Naruto! He's near!" Verosika yelled as she ran ahead
"You smell him?" Mayberryasked confused
"That's my bit"! Loona yelled as she chased Verosika
(with Naruto)
Naruto and Blitzo groaned as they came out of their trips.
"Oh Satan I feel like Lee is yelling in my head again" Naruto groaned
"It's like Loona howling at the moon again at 4 am after I was drunk" Blitzo groaned
"She does that?" Naruto asked with a smirk finding this cute
"She hasn't done that with yo- nevermind" Blitzo said cutting himself off knowing this was a setup
Naruto chuckled at this as they both sat in silence. Until Blitzo broke it after a few moments
"hey Naruto uh...sorry I've been such a pain in the ass to you for so long. You're a great employee." Blitzo said looking down
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear a compliment from you." Naruto said
"The main reason I've been so ticked off at you is well. Loona she's my daughter, maybe not blood related but she's still my Loonie and I just..I just don't want to see her hurt." Blitzo said
"Hey there's no need to worry about that. I love Loona as much as I love any other woman with me and I'll die again before I ever let anything happen to her." Naruto told him
"Yeah I know, I'm glad she's found someone like you to be in her life." Blitzo said honestly
"And as much of a pain as you are at times. I'm glad you raised her and are in our lives" Naruto told him with a small smile
"Thanks future son in law" Blitzo said
"Does this mean I can call you dad?" Naruto asked
"….don't push it" he said before Naruto chuckled
Suddenly the ceiling above them opened and Loona, Millie, and Mayberry dropped down into the room
"There are my girls!" Naruto said with a smile as they approached them
"You guys made your way here on your own?" Blitzo asked as Mayberry used a chainsaw to cut them loose
"not exactly" Millie said with a smile as she handed Blitzo and Naruto some guns
Suddenly the window behind them broke Verosika threw agent 2 through it
"You kidnapped my man, tied him to my ex, and made me come here to slaughter each and every one of you in heels. You will know despair and the true power of the Uchiha!" Verosika said as her eyes were glowing red sharingans
Agent 1 went to pull out a gun but Charlie and Vaggie roared at him making him back off
"Aww look he thinks he's threatening us with a little gun" Charlie said mockingly
"No but this is threatening" agent 2 groaned as she pulled out a remote and pushed it making an alarm go off
"Ooh an alarm? Really?" Charlie mocked
Suddenly a whole army of agents came into the room all carrying weapons from the edo period of japan.
"Oh you guys may have my power sealed off but you done fucked up big time" Naruto smirked as he craked his neck
"Ok I've had far too many emotions today! Guys let's fuck these fuckers up!" Blitzo yelled wanting these humans dead
An agent with a sickle and chain threw it at Blitzo but Loona caught it in her mouth and growled
"Hands off my dad mother fucker!" she barked as she pulled on the chain and spun the agent into several others before she charged at them and slashed at them with her claws and the sickle. Dismembering them into bloody chunks.
Millie was slashing up agents with a giant medieval battle axe larger than her. She chopped off one agent's leg and then sliced him in half as he tried to hobble away.
Mayberry was revving her chainsaw and slashing through the agents as quick as they attacked easily cutting them into pieces
Vaggie was spinning her spear and stabbing agents through the neck left and right before running three through with her spear in a tackling stab. Impaling them into a wall.
Another agent threw shuriken at her as she did this but found his shuriken snatched in mid air by Charlie's rapier in one stab. The shuriken's holes wrapping around the blade.
"Die you worm!" She roared as she swung her blade launching the shurikens back at the agent in his face.
Verosika was easily dodging attacks thanks to her sharingan and breathing fire at the agents. Lighting them on fire. Naruto stood next to her and broke an agent's arm that went to stab her with a katana before taking it for his own and stabbing him with it.
Naruto looked back at Blitzo who looked over at him and smiled at each other before getting ready to kick ass Blitzo came in shooting off bullets hitting every agent that came his way with Naruto running forward picking up a dead agents katana slicing off their limbs one by one,
"Sniper on your right!" Blitzo shouted shooting off a round at a opened vent nailing an agent
"Thanks Virgo." Naruto said
"Ah fuck you whiskers." Blitzo chuckled firing off his shots
Naruto ran across the walls dodging the bullets as they came while also deflecting them with his sword, he jumped off the way landing in a circle of agents. One tossed a chain wrapping it over his arm but Naurto was quicker pulling him in and kicking him in the nuts while his head was soon blown off allowing Naruto to spin his corpse around with the chain and knocking the agents back on their asses.
"You're all such boring dance partners" Verosika boredly told an agent that she was currently choking before snapping his neck and tossing his body into 2 other agents.
"... ok she's definitely an Uchiha" Naruto muttered
"Damn straight! these punk asses better recognize!" Verosika yelled as she kicked one in the face with her heels. Stabbing through the agent's skull in a shower of blood and gore.
"Yo Verosika catch!" Blitzo yelled as he threw a weapon out of the pack Loona brought to her. She caught it revealing a whip.
"... this may be the nicest gift you ever got me" she smirked at her ex.
"Don't look into it too much. Just ice these fuckers" Blitzo told her as he moved on to Millie.
"Yo Mills you need anything? A gun?" He asked the battle axe wielding imp. Blitzo ran over to Loona and handed her a machine gun as he fired at some agents coming at her
"Nah I'm good!" She shouted as Blitz nodded and left to help Loona. He handed her a rifle to use
Loona opened fired on the agents easily tearing through them "Die mother fuckers!" she yelled with a intense look
Blitzo smiled at this as he watched loona
"What?" she asked seeing his lppl
"I'm just so damn proud of you Loonie! And you called me dad!" Blitzo yelled before he kissed her on the cheek and ran off to kill more agents "bye sweetie!" He yelled as he went to help Charlie and Vaggie.
"Yo! Princess and former man hater! Need a gun or anything?"
"No we're good Blitz!" Charlie yelled with a smile as she stabbed an agent in the stomach
"And I still hate all men besides mi amour!" Vaggie yelled as she threw her spear and impaled 5 agents into a wall
"Sure thing whatever! Have fun try not to fuck over their corpses!" Blitz yelled
"No promises!" Vaggie said with a grin as she ran and pulled out her spear from the impaled corpses.
"Ok then! Now who wants quality time with daddy?!" Blitzo yelled as he pulled out two guns and charged at some agents laughing like a lunatic as he fired on them.
Mayberry pulled out a grenade drum her hammer space and pulled an agents pants open before dropping the grenade and throwing him into 3 agents. It exploded and a corpse was sent flying and landing in front of agent 1 and 2.
Before being stabbed by a falling katana.
"Why?! Why are we only using weapons from Japan's edo period?!" agent 1 yelled in terror as he watched more of his fellow agent get slaughtered
"Hey! The edo period was badass and you know it!" Agent 2 shouted at her partner
"Dammit you're right!" He shouted in agreement
"badass but not effective vs guns you dorks!" Naruto said picking up a machine gun and firing on some other agents as he ran at a cluster with his katana. Switching between slicing and shooting in a dance of immense blood spray.
Loona came charging swiping the dead agents swords slicing apart every man that came their way she stabbed a sword right into a man's testicles cutting him in half with a vertical slash splashing his organs onto the floor, Veroskia twirled her new whip wrapping it around an agents head pulling off their skull before throwing the head into another agent crushing their skull.
Millie and Mayberry stood back to back shooting off bullets at each man that came their way.
"Millie?" Mayberry asked
"Yeah?" The shorter demoness aksed
"What do bitches love?" The demonic teacher asked smirking which Millie returned before reaching into her bra revealing a large anti-tank rifle. She took aim at severa of the remaining agents with a sharp toothed grin.
"Bitches love cannons!" Millie shouted firing off her round erupting in a massive explosion sending dozens of body parts flying around
"Whoo! How's that for demon scum?! Blitzo yelled in an adrenaline rush. Before the lights went out suddenly and several metal doors trapped them alm
"Mayberry the book!" Millie yelled
"In what light?!" The teacher yelled
"You demons aren't going anywhere now" agent 2 laughed
"Alright listen up you fake titted bitch! We just slaughtered every single little punk bitch you threw at us and you think you and the dickless momma's boy can take us down?!" Naruto roared finally having enough of these damned agents
"Those are fake? That's just sad" Verosika said shaking her head in disappointment
"Right? By the way I never got an answer but is your ass padded?" Naruto mocked agent 2
Suddenly the entire room began to shake up as the lights went out before the room turned crimson red and began to shake as darkness began to form up beneath the feet of the room a chill ran down the agents spines as they looked around for cause as two voices rung on in dark whispers
"What are you doing to my Foxy/Impish plaything?"
Agent one backed up in fear bumping into his partner who was frozen stiff. She suddenly felt her body begin to shake and twitch as the darkness started to enter her body
"Agent 2!?" Agent 1 said turning her over to see his partner had a demonic grin over her face and red eyes.
"What's the matter, demon hunter?! Haven't seen a real demon before?!" 2 sets of voices sounded from her mouth speaking at once before cackling maniacally as the undead agents started drawing up a pentagram with their own blood.
The laughter stopped as agent 2 suddenly started violently spewing feathers from her mouth as they formed into two giant feathered creatures. They then roared in fury at agents 1 and 2 before shrinking down revealing Stolas and Octavia in their full demonic glory. Stolas walked over calmly and disabled the alarm as he and Octavia ignored the two terrified agents and walked over to the group.
"Stolas and Octavia?! How the fuck did you know we needed help." Blitzo asked confused
"I have my ways darling. Are you alright?" Stolas asked Blitzo checking on him.
"I'm fine Stolas" he muttered
"And you darling?" Octavia asked Naruto
"I'm good Eve" Naruto said with a impressed smile as the display of power Octavia showed was kinda hot to him
"Good" she said before her and Stolas immediately became furious
"How the fuck did you let yourselves get captured by humans!?" Stolas and Octavia scolded the latter pulling on Naruto's ear lightly
"Are you little creatures not paying any attention, you know that if you get in trouble, I get in trouble, we don't want that!" Stolas told them seriously
"They caught us off guard, your highness." Mayberry said
"Luckily for us most don't believe the word of the demon obsessed fanatics. They are seen as kooks." Charlie smirked
"Kooks? Such a silly word." Stolas laughed. "Now let us all return." He said as he opened up a portal
"Yes please I'd like to get back to the right hell hole thank you." Veroskia said
"You are in so much trouble for getting captured! Octavia said as she dragged Naruro through the portal
"Ow, ow, come on that ear's sensitive!" Vaggie and Loona are nibblers!" Naruto wined
"Shut up!" The girls scolded
"Am I going to get any thanks for the rescue Blitzy?" Stolas asked picking Blitzo up
"Ah I guess. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?" Blitzo asked with a knowing smile
"Very much so." Stolas said with a smile
"Okay but you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps." Blitzo said with a grin gripping Stolas by the neck sending a tingle down his spine
"Oh, please do." Stolas moaned before he and Blitzo started to make out walking through the portal
"Ah! Gross old man love!" The younger demons shouted
"We've witnessed what you all do with Naruto. You have no right to judge!" Blitzo shouted
"... for once he's not wrong" Verosika shrugged as the portal closed
"We better get a reward for saving you alpha: Loona said to Naruto
"... collar and leash or monetary reward?" Naruto asked
"I say we head home and see how well you fuck us with that collar suppressing your power" Octavia smirked
Naruto smirked back but paused as he realized something wait when my girls talk like that I usually get turned on he thought
"Quick I think I have a legitimate problem. Someone flash me!" He yelled in a panic
Millie, Loona, Verosika, Mayberry, and Octavia instantly did so
Charlie was about to but Vaggie stopped her
"That's only for his eyes Charlie" vaggie said
"No it isn't I've seen em!" Verosika piped up flashing Naruto still
"Oh god get this thing off me!" Naruto yelled in terror as he clawed at his collar
"Sweetie what's wrong?" Millie asked with a frown
"This thing not only blocks my Powers but makes me impotent! I can't get a boner!" he shouted clawing ferociously to get it off
The girls all froze at this and palied
"... get It off him now!" Verosika shouted as she went to try and claw it off herself.
Blitzo was laughing at this and rolling on the floor
"Dad get it off him now!" Octavia yelled at Stolas
Stolas approached the collar and took a look and frowned "looks like it requires a holy key which is only made in heaven" he said
"This is a declaration of war!" Charlie roared as she went demonic "fetch me my angel killing panties Vaggie!" She roared
"I'm gonna kill them all!" Loona barked as her hair went on end from her anger
"I DON'T GET MY KIDS WITH FOXY NOW?! I'LL END THEM ALL!" Verosika roared
"This isn't life!" Naruto yelled as he clawed at his collar but doing nothing
"Technically you're dead!" Blitzo snickered
"Fuck you help me!" Naruto yelled at Blitzo
"Do I look like I have a holy key?" Blitzo asked sarcastically
(heaven)
in heaven the cherubs were all laughing
"Ah this is wonderful and there's no way they'll get a key to remove it!" Deerie the cherub cackled
"Nw all we need to do is wait for that Uchiha to make his move" another cherub said
"How is he gonna lure him out to fight?" A third cherub asked
"I gave him the holy key to his collar" the second cherub asked
This got silence from the other cherubs
"YOU WHAT?! they all yelled in a panic
"What? It seemed like a good idea" the second cherub defended himself
"Exile him!" Deerie yelled as she and the others flew at the second cherub causing him to flee
(Back in Hell)
"Kill me!" Naruto was yelling. He hated this
"No way! We could try and find a key!" Millie said
"I wouldn't let this get around. If people find out you're powerless now you'll be hunted and killed." Stolas said with a frown
"Which is bad news since I already know he's powerless" a voice sounded from the shadows making everyone pause and search
"No fucking way" Naruto said as he instantly stood up
At the open window a Raven demon stood with glowing red eyes
"Long time no see…dope" Sasuke said with a glare at Naruto
"Sasuke Uchiha. should've known you were in hell too. What took you so long to come after me? Taking it from behind by Valentino?" Naruto asked with a smirk
"Been biding my time. Making plans recently I got a job offer from some big wigs in heaven. Asked me to take care of this big bad overlord" Sasuke said
"Wow congratulations sasuke you went from Itachi's mind fucked little bitch brother to orochimaru's bitch, to tobi's bitch,to now heaven's bitch. Way to step it up `Naruto rolled his eyes.
"I would watch your mouth talking to the guy that has the key to you getting any dope!" Sasuke yelled holding up the key to entice him
Before anyone could react Verosika grabbed him by the throat and grabbed the key
It then poofed away
"I'm a shadow clone you idiot. Now let me send my message or you won't be getting a chance to get the key" Sasuke glared with his sharingan blazing at Verosika
"Whatever. Speak your message bitch" Verosika said letting him down.
"Ok dope we have unfinished business. Me and you one on one. In 3 days. You'll get the key before we fight." Sasuke said
"3 days no sex?!" The girls all yelled
"…..nice to know your whores have their priorities" Sasuke said with a flat look
"This coming form the guy who took it up the ass from orochimaru?" Naruto deadpanned
"That was a rumor!" Sasuke yelled in a rage
"Then why ignore all the girls back home if you weren't playing for the other team?" Naruto mocked Sasuke
"I have standards you stupid dope!" Sasuke yelled
"Yeah against the fangirls I get but considering everything you had going for you you could've been drowning in pussy you moron!" Naruto yelled at him
Sasuke scoffed at this: whatever dope, just be ready in 3 days time. I'll give you the key and crush you at your full power with all of hell watching." He told him before he dispelled in a poof of smoke
"Ugh that guy screamed baby dick" Blitzo said
"I'm related to him?" Verosika asked in disgust agreeing with Blitzo on this one
"So what are we gonna do?" Mayberry asked
"Nothing I can do but wait and make plans" Naruto said infuriated
"Not that! I just got you to wreck me and now I'm cut off?!" Charlie yelled in fury
"Yeah! I want that dick damn it!" Vaggie yelled
"We'll just have to wait 3 days unfortunately" mayberry said unhappily
Everyone was silent at this for a few moments
"Has it been three days yet?" Loona asked
Everyone groaned at this knowing it was gonna be a long three days
hey everyone Kfbanime87 here
well I'm glad I finally got to episode 6 of helluva boss
and I gave Naruto something to really fight for now lol
stay tuned for the next chapter when he and Sasuke fight
end