Okay. Here's the deal. I, Keely Teslow, do solemnly swear that where it concerns my best friend, Phil Diffy, I have nothing but the most friendly and platonic thoughts. And by that I mean that every time I see him I want to drag him to a deserted hallway and kiss until we're both breathless.
So you see? I totally have that whole best friends-just friends deal down.
Alright, fine, he's all I'm about. Lately I've been feeling more and more that I want more from him than friendship. We basically already act like we're going out, just sans the touchy and the kissy–and I'm definitely in favor of the kissy.
I suppose part of me has always felt this attraction to Phil. Another part of me wants to quash these feelings in order to preserve our friendship. But a bigger part of me now wants to find out how he feels about me, because something tells me that he may feel the same way.
So this part of me decided a few days ago that while I'm dying to get inside Phil's head, actually popping the question would be über awkward. So, I realized that I had to devise a plan. And I have. A 4-step plan to get me into Phil's thoughts and, if all goes well, his arms. I am documenting this all for future reference, and because it makes me feel really really official.
Step 1: Image. Everyone knows that males are primarily visually attracted. While I am, if I may say so myself, a very attractive lady, a fact of which Phil is no doubt aware, it can't hurt to crank up the attractiveness a few notches in order to get my point across.
Step 2: Flirting. Yes, if I want to make Phil realize that he wants me, I will first have to make sure that he is aware of my affections. This means laughing, hair-flipping, the works. So it looks like from now on I will be doting on Phil and basically throwing myself at him. With dignity, of course.
Step 3: Attention. I've read in countless magazine articles that boys try to act all nonchalant and independent, but in reality they are almost as sensitive as girls, and need constant affirmation that they are needed and important. So for the time being Phil will be the center of my attention. Psh, as if he isn't already.
Step 4: Physical Contact. Yes. This is clearly a necessity. And while my idea of physical contact with Phil is probably not suitable for this recording, for this step of my plan, while I'm still working on the allure, I must limit myself to well-placed hair-ruffling and shoulder tapping. Let's just hope I can restrain myself.