Someday You'll Care
Author's Note: Okay, just so all of you know, the plot is changing. It will not have the same plot as the summery. I am going to change the summery---someday… Yes, I know that's not a very good sign is it? I'm being extremely lazy… Hey, what can you expect from a 13 year old like me? Yes, you are absolutely right that is no excuse. Oh, well I do try, and that's all that matters. Right…?
Disclaimer: I am now the proud owner of Harry Potter, and everything that goes with it. Umm…guys—why are you staring at me like that? Now, there's no need for violence… Yeah, okay, I don't own Harry Potter I just made it up. Happy now?
Started: November 4, 2004
Finished: November 17, 2004
Posted:
Chapter SixBathing and Protective Ex-boyfriends
Lily slowly made her way back to her quarters, hoping against all odds that she wouldn't see James. She wouldn't be able to handle it.
"Thanks for the easy fuck, Evans"The words echoed in her mind, and played with her emotions. The malice in James' eyes had been so profound, and his tone had not betrayed him one bit. She shivered slightly, checking the room for him. She saw no one and rushed up the stairs, and into the safety of her bedroom.
She shrugged her robes off her shoulders and sat down on her bed. She drew her knees up to her chest, rocking back and fourth. She put her head on her arms. She didn't know what to do…
For the first time in her life she was afraid-- Afraid of James Potter, not because he had shagged her and cruelly left her behind, no she was afraid of what he could do, and what he was going to do to her.
She had tried so hard to build walls around her heart. She had tried to keep him out of her heart, and her walls strong. Now, that he was over her, her walls were starting to crumble. Her heart was on the line, she had not really wanted to admit it, but maybe she liked James Potter more then she ought to. She put her head on her pillow, and before she could think anymore, she had fallen asleep. She would think about it later, words still ringing in her head.
"I don't need you, Lily Evans…"
"Thanks for the easy fuck, Evans…"
Cherrie Long walked silently through the halls of Hogwarts. No, real destination in mind, but thoughts swirled around in her head, she really itched to take something and shove it down James Potter's throat. She had hand it to though he had actually made Lily cry.
Most of the times she would just scream or become extremely violent. But never in the seven years that they had known each other had he actually made her cry.
A head on collision snapped her out of her musings. She then found herself staring into the eyes of James Potter himself.
"Potter, you had clear off before you find yourself in the Hospital wing with something even Madam Pomfrey can't fix", Cherrie warned coldly.
"Did Evans rat me out?" James asked, hardly sounding like he cared. Cherrie found herself fingering her wand fondly. If only she could hex that smirk off his face…
"You are extremely lucky that Lily won't let us kill you, I'm sure there are quite a few of us who are willing to" Cherrie said.
"Of that I'm sure of", James said sarcastically.
Cherrie pushed past him, wondering whether or not she should knee him in the groin. Finally, settling with kicking him in the shins (rather hard, mind you), and making him fall to the ground with a rather loud, "fuck!" She stalked away.
"She said we couldn't kill you, she didn't say anything about crippling you. Good day, Potter", Cherrie threw over he shoulder.
"You did what?!" Remus Lupin, growled at his friend. He stared not believing what had just come out of James' mouth. He and Lily may have broken up but he was still protective of her.
"James, I am warning you, if you hurt her again in anyway, I'll personally see to it that you never have sex again", Remus growled again, his amber eyes dancing with anger. Sirius looked between the two; he didn't know whose side to take. They both had a point!
"James—mate that was pretty low…" Sirius said lamely, not finding anything remotely sarcastic about the whole deal.
"Does everybody know about my personal life?" James snapped, "What I do in my personal life stays in my personal life. It's not any of your fucking business!"
Remus grabbed James by the collar of his robes and brought him close, "I'm dead serious James; if you make her cry you'll live to regret it".
Lily woke again sometime the next day. Her eyes glanced around her room and landed on her clock. Bright red numbers read: 5:36 PM. She had been asleep for almost six hours. Sighing, she stood up and went down stairs.
She spotted James lounging on the couch, his shirt un-tucked and buttons undone. He was sleeping, that was good. She hoped it stayed like that until she was gone. Lily noticed the slightly innocent look he possessed when he was sleeping. Just goes to show that looks can be deceiving. He was so cute—did she just say that? 'Get your head out of the gutter, Evans!' Lily snapped at herself.
She hurried past him and as quietly as possible gathered her things. Her parchment flew out of her hands and onto the ground. She bent over to pick it up; her ink bottle fell to the floor and shattered. She paled, James was sure to be a wake. She glanced over at the couch where James was-- or in this case, had been.
That only meant… She turned around and found herself backed against the wall, as James advanced on her. Her supplies lay forgotten on the floor.
"Evans, I'm quite sure that if you had been any louder the whole castle would have been aware of your presence", James whispered.
Lily bit her lip and looked past his shoulders, anything but eye contact. She didn't want to talk to him right now, or any other time for that matter. She had wanted to avoid him for as long as humanly possible. James' thumb grazed the side of her face.
"James, don't touch me", she whimpered, "just walk away".
"Evans, you and I both know that I can't 'just walk away', so why say it?" James murmured.
Lily tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. He pinned her arms to her side, and kissed her on the forehead. He stepped away from her and cleaned up her ink mess. He handed her the parchment, which was her charms homework.
He glanced at her and went to sit back down on the couch. Lily didn't look at him as she bolted up the stairs and into her room. What had he just done to her? Why was she being so wimpy? A couple of days ago if James would have done this she would have killed him, and proudly admitted it in front of the ministry.
"What am I getting myself into?" James sighed to himself. Getting the best of Lily Evans had felt great.
It still did.
He was hurting her and he knew it. He could see it in her eyes. He loved the way she shivered when he touched her, and he loved it when she lost her nerve when he came around. He didn't care what he was doing to her; he just loved what he was doing. He did love Lily Evans, and he couldn't deny it.
But she didn't care.
So why should he?
"I don't care" he spoke only to himself, and the words went heard by no one. He wanted Lily to cry, and he had done just that. He wanted her cry again, he wanted her to suffer the rejection that she had made him suffer. He would hurt her, and he knew he could.
He felt his heart pang at the prospect of hurting her. He pushed it away. This was wrong, and he knew it.
But he didn't care.
Lily sat at the table during dinner the next day. She was aware of the eyes that were on the back of her head. She knew who it was. She didn't have to look to know that James was staring at her. She pushed her plate away from her. Her appetite was ruined.
"Lily, you can't just let him walk all over you like this", Jena spoke up. Cherrie nodded her head in agreement and spoke to her, "If I were you, I'd just kill him and get it over with".
"Well, Cherrie as it is you aren't me, so you don't know what you are talking about", Lily snapped.
"Damn, Lily don't bite her head off. She was just trying to help". Beth defended her friend.
Lily shook her head and stood up. The eyes of James Potter still following her, she didn't think much about it when she stood up and left the hall.
"I'm going back to my room, I'll see you later", Lily said briskly.
They all glanced up at her tone, but said nothing. Lily slowly walked out of the hall.
Lily sighed, and stared up from her bed. Homework became boring and her hand was cramping. Well, actually most of her body was cramping. Lily walked over to her drawers and pulled out her nightgown and a bathrobe. She went to her closet and grabbed a big fluffy towel.
She needed to take a warm bath. It always helped her when she had been younger. She padded lightly down the stairs, and made her way to the prefect's bathroom. She whispered the password ad entered the grand looking bathroom. Whit a pool sized tub in the middle of it, and that was of course her favorite part.
Lily ran the water and filled it with various scented bubbles. She stepped into the soothing water and closed her eyes. This was heaven on earth. It was times like these that made her think. She didn't like thinking about all of the crappy things that went on her life. She was always forced to admit fault. While thinking, she didn't hear somebody enter the bathroom, nor did she see the person strip of their clothing, and slip into the tub behind her.
It wasn't until she felt the strong arms wrap around her waist that she realized that somebody else was in the tub with her.
"Why are you following me, James?" She muttered, leaning against his toned chest. She was too tired to fight him off. She didn't care at this moment what happened in the bathroom, because right now she liked the feeling of his arms around her.
"I'm not following you, Evans", he said softly. He shifted against her and she found herself pressed against the side of the tub.
Both of his arms were above her shoulders, and Lily found herself getting lost in his hazel eyes. His eyes lowed to her face, and she could see the lust and desire swirling around in them. He wanted her and she could feel it radiating off of him. He could have her, because she didn't care.
THE NEXT PART OF THIS STORY IS RATED 'R'! IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA OF SEX, THEN YOU HAD BETTER STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW! I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY MEDICAL PROBLEMS!
He leaned down, brushing his lips across hers. She felt his arm wrap around her waist, she didn't push him away. His other hand went to the small of her back. She arched into his touch. This felt so good.
"James…" Lily moaned, her hands went up his arms and rested on his shoulders. She gasped when he kissed her. It was rough and passionate; there was nothing gentle about it. The hand on her waist was moved and she felt in graze against her breast. She drew in a ragged breath. He was kissing his way down her neck. She could feel him against her stomach. James lifted one of her legs off the ground, to go around his waist. Lily played with the tendrils of black hair on his neck.
James hoisted her off the bottom of the tub. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and moaned. James positioned himself at her entrance.
"James, please don't", Lily whispered. She didn't care whether or not he stopped. James cupped her face with his hand and leaned down, "Be quite, Evans".
She brought his face up to hers and tried to make eyes contact. Something he had avoided doing since this had all started.
"James, why are you doing this to me?" she asked softly. He didn't answer her. What would he have said? What exactly was there to be said?
"You don't worry about that", James snapped. He gripped her waist tightly and roughly kissed her. He then thrust himself into her. She clenched her teeth and tightened her legs around his waist, taking him all the way inside. He thrust into her again, and soon her pain became pleasure and awkwardness was replaced with passion.
"Oh…god…" she moaned in ecstasy when he took her nipple in his mouth and teased it, still thrusting into her.
Neither of them heard the cursing of a male prefect, or the hurried steps to the side of the tub. They were too wrapped up in each other to notice. Then as if Lily weighed nothing at all, she was yanked harshly out of James' grip and out of the tub.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" a very familiar voice snarled at her, or was it James? Lily couldn't tell but he sounded pissed.
Why was she not surprised?
"James, I thought I fucking told you--!"
"She is not crying! It looks to me like she's pissed off!"
"That doesn't matter you still--!"
"She a big girl, Remus! If she wants to fuck the whole school she can, and you can't do a damn thing about it. Let me tell you she could, she's pretty easy!"
Lily blinked back her tears, and Remus shoved a towel into her hand.
"I'll fucking deal with you later, James", Remus hissed. Lily then found herself being led out of the bathroom.
"Why did you do that, Remus!?" Lily snapped.
"Lily, you must realize that you're nothing but an easy fuck to him", Remus said.
"So I've been told", she said the bitterness was practically dripping from her every word. They stopped in front of her portrait.
"I just don't want you to get hurt…"
She smiled wryly and titled her face to look at him.
"It's a bit to late for that, Remus. I don't think there's much more he can do."
"Oh, yes, Lily, I am afraid that there is", He said and hugged her.
"Why do you do it?" He questioned her. She didn't answer him right away.
"Part of me doesn't want to, but the other part does. I don't know, Remus I just do it. I don't ever think about the after math", Lily finally answered.
"Do you love him?"
"No, I don't", she said bluntly. She didn't ever have to think about it. She didn't love him, and she didn't ever think that she could. She gave the password and pulled away from her surrogate big brother.
"Goodnight, Remus".
Lily collapsed on the sofa, in front of the fire. Both of them would end up getting hurt. James might not have cared, but she did. James was all but gentle with her. It was like he didn't care if he hurt her or not, but he didn't go out of his way manhandling her, or treating her bad. No, he didn't treat her bad.
He treated her like a fuck toy.
Maybe that's all she was to him. Maybe James had finally gotten over her. She didn't know and right now she didn't care.
"I thought I had made myself clear, James!" Remus snarled.
James didn't even look at him. He shrugged and continued with his reading. He knew he would regret giving his friends the passwords, and now he did.
"James, you can't ignore me", Remus said.
"Actually, Remus that is where you are wrong. I can ignore you, but I won't" James said nonchalantly. James then sent him a look and continued reading. Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, and sat down heavily in the chair behind him.
"If you get her pregnant…I'll kill you".
James snapped his head around to look at him. James gave a look of utter most contempt.
"Are you fucking crazy? Me with kids! Are you out of your bloody mind?! I can hardly stand the little first years!" James exclaimed outraged.
Remus shrugged and flicked a piece of not existent lint off his robes.
"Hey, it could happen".
"Yes, but not bloody likely", James snorted.
"I'm just saying".
"Well, don't, alright".
"Why do you do it?"
James had spent hours going over this on his head, and now that he had to say it out loud he couldn't find the words. So many times, he had had the answer to the question. Now, that he had really thought about it, he didn't know why.
But, of course, he didn't care.
"I don't know", he said brusquely. James watched as Remus narrowed his eyes slightly. He didn't say anything. Maybe it was better that way.
"I have to go, I'll see you later". And with a curt nod Remus stepped through the door and out of sight.
Hours later James sat by the fire, Lily walked inside her eys red a puffy. She ignored him. 'Good', he thought. He didn't want to talk to her.
James heard her shuffle around behind him. He heard her plop down on the couch beside him. But, of course, neither of them said a word to each other. They didn't need to speak, because both knew that the other was thinking about. Neither of them said goodnight to each other when they went to bed. They both found that they didn't care.
Maybe that was what was wrong. Neither, of them cared what happened. Lily didn't care that she was hurting, and James didn't care that he was hurting her.
"What are you thinking about, Lily?" Beth asked.
"I don't know", Lily replied.
"How can you not know what you're thinking about?"
"I don't know, I guess it's all jumbled together too much for me to make any sense out of it".
"Potter?" It was more of a statement then a question. Lily couldn't make heads or tails of it.
"What?" Lily asked confused.
"You were thinking about, Potter, weren't you?"
And indeed she had been, but Beth didn't need to know that. She didn't know how much he was starting to affect her.
"Don't worry about it". Lily's tone left no room for argument. For a split second Beth looked ready to argue, but instead she closed her mouth, sighed weakly and left it alone. Good, that's all that needed to be done. It needed to be left alone.
Beth seemed comfortable with the silence. Nothing seemed interesting enough to talk about. Both left it like that. Lily lost in her jumbled thoughts, and Beth doing her homework.
Later that day Dumbledore called a head meeting. So James and Lily were forced to talk to each other.
"I'm sure you are surprised as to why I called this meeting", Dumbledore inquired, while gesturing to the chairs they were both supposed to sit in. They both nodded, sitting down in the offered chairs.
"So we have to set up a Christmas ball?" James groaned at his Headmaster.
"Yes, my boy, that would be the point of this discussion, and also I'm sure you two would be able to settle some…differences", his eyes were twinkling wildly.
James blinked once. Twice. Three times. He nodded his head. Lily had enough sense to look completely fine with the idea, but all three of them knew she was the complete opposite. Spending more time with James, was not 'fine'. Now, of course, was not the time to argue about it.
"So we actually have to do this", James asked again.
"Yes, I am afraid that you do".
Both Lily and James slumped down in their chairs. Both reluctantly agreed and sauntered out of the Headmaster's office.
"So…Evans…"
"James—just shut up" Lily sighed.
She didn't want to deal with him. She still hadn't figured out why he still called her Evans. Oh, well it didn't really matter all that much to her.
Days past and both found themselves planning out the ball. Putting it together was the hardest part of all. Neither could agree long enough for a solid idea.
"No, Evans absolutely not! No, mistletoe is going to be at that god forsaken ball!" James snapped for the fifth time that night.
Lily looked slightly horrified at his reaction. How could you not have mistletoe?! It wasn't Christmas without mistletoe!
"James, come on—No, mistletoe?" Lily said incredulously.
"No, mistletoe".
"Are you off your rocker? James, for Merlin's sake, we can't not have mistletoe!" Lily said.
"Yes, Evans we can".
"Arrg! You pig headed ass hole!" Lily screeched.
"We are having mistletoe, whether or not you like it", Lily said sternly adding it to the list.
"James, keep your bloody mouth shut, I'm not changing my mind". Lily said this with out looking at him.
What the hell?! She wasn't even looking at him. How did she manage that? James didn't think much about it. They both went back to planning out the ball.
Author's note: Is this long enough? It's eight pages long I hope it's long enough. The review responses will be answered in the next chapter. I dunno, I may change my mind and do them now.
Hpjsr: Glad that you like it.
Dally: Okay, I'm glad that you like this plot, and as for my wimpy paragraphs I can explain that. I have a clutter problem. I don't know why, I just do. I can't read stories that have ten sentences in one paragraph, that's just me. And also remember I am thirteen years old. I can't focus on every person without screwing the whole story up. Again that's just me. As for Lily she doesn't understand this whole this that's going on with James. While half of her hates what he's doing the other half really doesn't care. She's starting to feel things for James that she can't explain. Something like that, and I am staying with this plot. Yes, I know James is being an asshole. I like him when he's that why.
Crazyinulover: Yes, eventually they will be nice to each other again, but that's not going to be too soon. Yes, they will fuck often in this story.
Rupertsgirle: It's okay, don't worry about it. I didn't mean to sound mad, and to tell the truth I wasn't mad. It's okay.
Thanks to: b2okworm, xLuLulovex0, Padfootandprongs4ever, SuZeSiMoNwriter. Ya'll rock my socks! Read and review!