Okay. the craziness continues with only one chapter (not counting this one) left. Are you scared? I feel bad for Marth. Ahaha!

"Hey!" Link called out to the group of people ahead of him. They were about to enter the cafeteria.

They turned around. Marth, Roy, Samus, and Fox all asked simultaneously, "What?"

He caught up to them easily. "Want to do something incredibly stupid?" he asked.

"Nope," Fox answered, and sauntered away. Link frowned at him.

"Why is he sauntering, instead of walking?" he wondered.

Roy gave him a look. "Duh, Link! He's a fox. That's all foxes do."

Link shook his head. "So, do you?"

"What do we have to do?" Samus, wearing normal clothes instead of that orange-armor-thing, flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm making . . . ." He paused dramatically. "The Worst Ever Spy Movie!" He surveyed them each. "Marth, you could be the wimpy sidekick. Samus, the damsel in distress. Roy . . . the evil diabolical freak. I, of course, would be the hero."

"Wimpy!" Marth pouted. But he wouldn't give up a chance to be in a movie.

Samus' reaction wasn't quite as promising. She grabbed the front of Link's tunic and shoved him into the wall. (That might seem pathetic on Link's part, but remember: Samus is freakishly strong).

"I'm not some stupid damsel," she sneered. Then she stalked away. Why? Because no one walks in the land of Nintendo. They saunter, stalk, sneak, stroll, wander, mosey, promenade, amble, march, stagger, hike, and any other words that inspire movement.

Link removed his hat (and crazy fan girls screamed, and reporters took pictures. Link never removes his hat). He groaned in irritation. "Damn reporters," he muttered. "Always taking their pictures, like I'm some sort of . . ." There was a pause while he tried to think of a sufficient word.

"Wondrous creature?" a fan girl asked, taking pity on him.

"Uh, not really . . ."

Of course, then everyone got into it. The girls (because they're nuts) saw it as an opportunity to express their undying love. Marth and Roy used the chance to insult him. Feel the love.

"Beautiful specimen of life?"

(Link was slightly offended at being called beautiful, but he let it go).

"An unholy freak?"

"Proof that God loves us all?"

"A complete and total nut job people are just waiting to lock up?"

"An angel?" A young blonde swooned and fell at his feet. Pit got annoyed (he is the one and only angel!). Of course, all the fan girls had to outdo her.

"The All-Powerful King of the Universe?" A brunette threw herself out the first-story window.

"A crazed pyromaniac?"

"No, Roy, that's you."

"What?"

"You're the pyromaniac."

"Oh, yeah . . . Remember that time when I—"

"With Mario?"

"Yep."

"Yeah. His hair never did grow back completely, did it?"

"Nah. That's why his hat has an extra-large brim now."

Then all the fan-girls, man-girls (Marth), and Roy went flying against the wall. Link was standing in the hallway, surrounded by Nayru's Love. "Will you all just SHUT UP!" He glared at them. "HELLO! Look how off-topic we are!" He waved an arm up at the screen. "This is crazy!"

"Gee, ya think?" Roy muttered with that loving sarcasm of his.

"Shut up, Roy. And all you girls: What are you doing here?"

One brave soul spoke up. "Y-y-you took off your hat," she whined.

"So?"

"You never take off your hat."

Another girl, feeling more confident added, "Not even when you take a shower."

Link narrowed his eyes at her. "How would you know about—"

"Hey!" Marth pointed at the screen. "We're off-topic again, and soon the readers will be pissed, and the author will be pissed, and she'll make us fall off a cliff or something."

Lots of funky smoke and mist appears. A big booming voice fills the room "Nah. I live for this stuff." smoke fades

"All right, fan girls, get out of here!" Moping, the dejected fans ambled away. Link turned back to Marth and Roy, studying them. "Okay, since Samus is gone . . . . Marth. You'll be the damsel in distress. We really don't need a sidekick."

Marth practically choked . . . . On nothing. He's sad like that. "What . . . I . . . we . . . why . . . . Why ME?"

"You're girly," Link replied simply. They didn't have a lot of time. "Roy, you're still demented enough to be an evil villain, right?"

He laughed crazily. "Yes! Yes! Fear me! FEAR ME!"

Link and Roy stared at him. ". . . . Right. Good. Scary. Marth, go see Peach. She'll get you all made up."

Mumbling darkly to himself, Marth wandered away. When he returned five minutes later, he was unrecognizable. His long hair had been covered in a bright pink wig, curled and full of bows. He had on every type of makeup in existence. He looked like a really scary girl . . . in Marth's clothes.

"Peach wouldn't let me borrow one of her dresses," he announced sullenly.

"I'll get one," Link replied, then turned and rushed (scampered, scurried, dashed; insert whatever phrase you want) off to Zelda's room.

Zelda was reading a book--big shock, huh?—when Link entered.

"Do you have a dress for our damsel to wear?" he asked.

Zelda rose, and stomped over to her wardrobe. "What stupid, girly, big-breasted hussy is going to be wearing my dress anyway?"

"Marth."

She thought about that for a moment, then threw a pale lavender dress to Link. "Make sure Marth burns that when he's done with it, okay?"

"I'm sure if he won't, Roy will."

"Oh, and Link?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

"I was thinking . . . . What if we bet some money? If this movie is worse than that James Bond whowhatzit, then you get a hundred rupees. If I win, I get a hundred. Fair enough?"

"Sure." Link didn't exactly have a hundred rupees (was it his fault that there was an auction selling every NES game ever made? And that he won it at $4,536 (7000 rupees)? No, it was not). But he'd win. Definitely. Probably. Yeah.

Marth looked rather stunning in the dress. People passing by made a point of telling him that.

"I swear, if one more person tells me this dress compliments my hair . . ."

"Shut up." Link shoved Marth over around the back of the arena where they were filming. Hyrule Temple had enough little cliffs and gullies and things to hide their Princess Marth.

Roy disappeared into the castle. Every once in a while an ominous cackling reverberated through the field.

Link had asked Pikachu to operate the camera. It was soon proving to be a mistake, though, because every few minutes Pikachu would spaz and the camera would flash bright orange.

It also didn't help that Marth kept saying, "Oh, isn't it exciting? I always knew I'd be on television. Although I never expected to be a girl, or to be in a movie destined—on purpose—to suck. But still, this is so exciting . . ." And on and on and on.

Oh, well. Link had a hundred rupees riding on this. "Everyone ready? Anddd . . . action!"

A few hours later, the worst spy movie ever was created.

Now, what have we learned? Don't mess with Samus.

Samus: You got that right.

Please R&R! I accept flames. I don't like them, but i accept them.