Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.

AN: Thanks for all the fantabulous reviews. You guys really succeeded in making my ego huger than a dude with a big...um, yeah. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I was too busy failing my finals. Whatever, the important thing is school's over and I finally updated! Oh, before I stop talking, pretend that there is such thing as pop and rap in the wizarding world. And feel free to ignore the lyrics. Now, on to the finale!

"Hey little bro. What's shaking?"

Ron turned around and saw the identical, roguish grins of Fred and George.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Hey," said Fred, feigning hurt. "Is that a way to treat your brothers who have done nothing but love you and look out for your best interests?"

"Like hell you do," said Ron. "No, really, what are you doing here?"

"Well, we heard from a little birdie that there will be a talent show in this fine institution and we just wanted to check it out," said George.

"We also heard from said birdie," Fred added, "that you have finally found yourself a girlfriend. And Lavender Brown, no less."

"Not bad for your first girlfriend," said George. "Considering that most Weasley men get theirs by, at most, the age of twelve."

"'Cept Perce, of course," Fred added, truthfully. "He got his first when he was sixteen, too."

"I can't believe you just compared me to Percy," said Ron as the twins broke in raucous laughter. "Remind me to kill Ginny later. And if you've come just to annoy me about Lavender, don't bother. I broke up with her."

At this, the twins stayed silent for a few seconds and then started laughing again. Ron rolled his eyes and waited for the laughter to cease.

"I'm sorry," gasped George, "but that sounds so funny coming from your mouth."

"But, seriously," said Fred, still shaking from all the laughter. "What in the hell were you thinking in dumping a smokin' dish like Lavender Brown?"

"Maybe, Fred," mock-mused George, "ickle Ronniekins has finally realized his true feelings for a certain brown-eyed bookworm. Isn't that right, Ronniekins?"

Before Ron could respond, the lights dimmed and a voice boomed, "Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. The show is about to begin."

After everyone settled down, the voice continued. "Please give it up for our first act, performing a Muggle pop song, Hermione Granger!"

There was a murmur of confusion. Hermione Granger, performing a pop song? The audience was shocked. But no one was more shocked than Ron. His mouth practically hit his lap as the curtain opened, revealing a totally different Hermione than he was used to.

This new Hermione had abandoned her black robes for a pair of tight, tight jeans and a sparkly blue top that showed a lot of...Hermione. Her normally make-up free face was full of the stuff and her normally bushy hair was sleek and straight and pulled up in an elaborate hair style. She was frozen in a pose that could only be described as "sexy," surrounded by a bunch of girls, apparently back-up dancers. As soon as the music started, Hermione and the girls started dancing...veela-like. Too veela-like. Ron felt his jaw hit the floor.

A boy who sort of resembled Lee Jordan walked onto the stage and started rapping:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?

Hermione replied with a:

I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. Check it out.

"Speaking of the brown-eyed bookworm," said Fred with a whistle. "Hermione Granger, my, how you have grown."

"Yeah," George agreed appreciatively. "I'm definitely 'checking it out,' if you know what I mean."

Fred and George weren't the only ones who seemed to be enjoying this spectacle. As the song progressed, more and more of the audience, particularly the male variety, started to become very enthusiastic.

I drive these scrubbers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'
Fly gear but I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass in,
Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't fakin'
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.
My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

Unfortunately, unlike the rest of the audience, Ron was not able to get into the show. He was just becoming more and more confused. He just could not understand why Hermione would do something like this. And he could not understand half the stuff she was singing about. What the hell is Dolce and Gabbana? He could not understand any of it. Well, neither could the rest of the audience but they gave up figuring it out a long time ago.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

This time, the boy resembling Lee Jordan had a small rap solo. But with Hermione dancing around him, no one really paid him any attention.

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk with my Cocoa Puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my Cocoa Puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight?

Ron noticed Hermione was a really good dancer. This made him mad. In fact, everything about the show made him mad. The fact that Hermione was singing about her "humps" like it was no big deal, like she was a...a scarlet woman. The fact that the boy wanted to mix Hermione's milk with his Cocoa Puffs. Whatever Cocoa Puffs were, it didn't sound like a good idea. The fact that every bloke in the audience was, well, you know.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If u touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

Hermione and the boy repeated the chorus once more before the song was finished. When that happened, the whole audience gave Hermione a standing ovation. By the whole audience, I mean everybody, even the teachers. Even the Slytherins, including Malfoy. Everyone, that is, except for Ron.

Hermione beamed and bowed and blew kisses. As she did so, Ron could have sworn that she made eye contact with him. He also could have sworn that after making eye contact, her smile had gotten noticeably wider. When the next act began, no one really paid much attention. Hermione had just joined the audience and every male student in the audience rushed towards her to hit on, I mean, er, compliment her on her performance. Ron gritted his teeth and got up from his seat to make his way to Hermione. But not to compliment her, of course. He needed to know what the hell was going on. After much jostling, he was finally able to reach her.

"Hey, Ron." Hermione smiled gorgeously, almost teasingly, when Ron poked her on the shoulder.

"I need to talk to you," asked Ron, teeth still gritted.

"Right now, Ron?" said Hermione, laughing on the inside. "It's awfully loud in here. I don't think we'd be able to hear each other."

"That's ok," said Ron. "We could go in another room." And before Hermione could make another mock protest, Ron grabbed her wrist and led her to the room off the Great Hall.

Once in the room, Hermione sat on an armchair and asked coolly, "What's up?"

"What do you mean 'what's up'?" said Ron incredulously. "I should be asking you that! Are you out of your mind? What the hell were you thinking when you did that?"

"When I did what?" said Hermione, faking unawareness.

"God, Hermione," whined Ron, "don't make me spell it out for you."

"Oh, but I will," grinned Hermione devilishly.

Ron groaned. "Fine. What were you thinking when you decided to tryout for the talent show?"

"Um, well," said Hermione, "when I found out Hogwarts was having a talent show, I said to myself, 'Gee, Hermione, you like to dance and you think you're pretty good at it. You should tryout.' Why did you tryout for the Quidditch team, Ron?"

Ron rolled his eyes. "That's totally different."

Only Ron could make some dumb statement that made Hermione furious.

"That's different?" spat Hermione. "Oh, so you and Harry can tryout for whatever you like and its okay but when I do, everyone's like 'what the hell are you thinking, Hermione?' Well, you know what, Ron? You and your bigoted ideas can kiss my arse! Now, if you don't mind, I think I'd rather be in company with people who liked my performance."

Hermione turned to leave but Ron grabbed her arm.

"Hermione, wait," said Ron. In spite of herself, Hermione turned back. "It's not that I didn't like your performance, I just thought it was, well, what I want to know is...Why did you choose that particular song?"

Hermione grinned inwardly. "I liked the beat."

"Yeah, but couldn't you have chosen another song that also had a nice beat but was not as...?" Ron hesitated.

Hermione saved him the awkwardness of saying it. "I could have. But what's it to you?"

Ron was quiet for a few moments, trying to muster up the courage to say what he felt.

"Because I...since when did you start cursing?" he said, genuinely curious but also trying to change the subject.

Hermione practically screamed in frustration. "Since you have started really pissing me off. God, Ron, this has been going on for too long. Will you ever stop being such a bloody coward and just admit that you get jealous whenever someone pays me the slightest bit of attention?"

"Well," argued a scarlet-faced Ron, "if I'm such a bloody coward, then what would that make you? I don't remember you telling me you were jealous when you saw me with Lavender. And don't even try to deny that you weren't."

"Of course I won't deny it," yelled Hermione. "But you knew I was jealous. I mean, wasn't it that your ploy? To make me jealous 'cos of something that happened two years ago with Krum?"

"Well, what was the whole talent show thing for, hmm?" Ron inquired.

"That's not the point," replied Hermione. "You were still jealous first. Why couldn't you tell me back then that you fancied me?"

"I was in the fourth year," bellowed Ron. "Maybe even third. I was an idiot then. Don't respond to that. One minute I saw you as my best friend and the next...I dunno what happened. I had no idea what to do. Besides, why did I have to make the first move? Why not you? Why couldn't you take matters into your own hands, like you always do?"

Hermione opened her mouth, ready to blast out a retort. But when the impact of what Ron had just said hit her, she just grinned. "You're right."

And with that, she marched up to Ron and grabbed his face, pulling him down so they were at eye level. "Chicken." And before she chickened out, she kissed him.

Ron was shocked beyond words. I mean, wouldn't you be if your crush since forever was finally kissing you. Ron just could not believe it and, therefore, did not respond immediately. However, a horrified Hermione mistook Ron's lack of participation as disgust. Luckily, before she got a chance to run for her life, Ron finally got over the shock and returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Hermione and pulling her closer. They stayed like this for a while, both marveling each other and how stupid they have been the past few years. They would have continued on for much longer if Ron hadn't suddenly realized something.

"Hermione."

"Yes?"

"Lavender and I broke up before the talent show."

"And?"

"Well, we could've, you know, talked, and you wouldn't've had to do all this 'talent show' junk."

Hermione smiled. "Oh, but then I would have let so many people down. Ever since the war, people don't even smile anymore. Did you see how happy I made the audience?"

"Oh, ha, ha," said Ron, sarcastically. "But seriously, all those things you sang about? They weren't true, right?"

"Oh, Ron," whispered Hermione seductively, leaning up for another kiss. "I love it when you're jealous."

nervously biting lip Well...what do you think?