DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DAMN IT! I DO NOT EVEN OWN MY OWN ASS, THAT BELONGS TO RACHEL… THE LOG BOOKS ARE FROM THAT CHARACTER'S POINT OF VIEW BUT THE REST IS IN THE THIRD PERSON. THIS IS MY FIRST FMA FIC SO BE NICE!

Chapter 2

Colonel Roy Mustang sighed heavily as he slammed the cover shut on the thick logbook that sat in the main office of his headquarters and massaged his head where a pencil had hit him. Riza Hawkeye raised her arm again, ready to launch the empty tub that had held all of the pencils, but lowered it again as she saw her commander get up and go to leave to the room. She called him over.

" Hey Roy, are you ok? I know its been hard on all of us the past few months but you seem to be taking it the hardest."

Roy walked back over to her and sat facing her on his desk with his head leant to one side curiously.

" Why are you so concerned? I would have thought you'd have sooner called me a wimp rather than console me. I'm completely fine anyway."

Riza shrugged her shoulders and replied with her hands raised in defeat.

" The last time I checked, coughing your brains out onto the desk and sneezing so hard that your eyes swell wasn't 'completely fine'. But if you insist… Just don't expect me and Black Hayatae to clear up the mess if your head explodes, which could happen of your ego gets any bigger."

Riza's little black dog scampered out from under the desk obediently and yapped angrily up and Roy as if knowing that the Colonel had displeased his mistress. Roy leant down and stroked the little dog and spoke.

" I can't believe you're still calling it that. Haven't you named it properly yet?"

Riza shook her head and clicked her tongue at the dog. It barked placidly and sat down at the base of the chair as she got up and walked over to the leather-bound logbook that sat closed on the far side of the room. She opened it and flicked to the next empty page that was designated to her. She picked up the pen out of the well and sang to Roy as he passed her to leave.

" Here comes the Bride, all dressed in white."

Roy squeaked in alarm and slammed the door behind him. Riza laughed as she heard his hurried footsteps as he ran down the corridor to seek shelter in the men's dormitories. She looked back to the book before her and began to write.

15th March – 19:06

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, East HQ. LOG IN

The left perimeters have been rebuilt after the unfortunate accident of last month that involved a rather drunk Alchemist, whose name I won't mention (LIEUTENANT HAVOC!), and a squirrel who was 'trespassing upon army trees'. Also, the refurbishments of the parade ground have also been finished and all state certifications are up to date.

I put three Privates into quarantine for crooked shooting in training and had Hughes court-marshalled a Major who tried to Neuter Black Hayatae with a blunt corkscrew. All paperwork is finished and my desk is completely clear for the next month; which is more than can be said for Colonel Mustang. One cannot even see him when he is sitting in his office he has so much unfinished paperwork.

In fact, he is just a completely disorganised person altogether with no sense of time or responsibility. I don't even know how he got to the position of authority that he has now. Over the past few days a number of things have crossed my mind about that man.

10 reasons why Mustang should never become Fuhrer:

1. His ego is the size of the planet.

2. His brain is in his trousers and even that has limited capacities (not that I would know what capacities his trousers have, or want to know for that matter!)

3. He is Roy Mustang.

4. He thinks he is the best thing since the Transmutation Circle.

5. He is a man whore.

6. The air that fills his empty head could fill the infinite reaches of space.

7. He has an unhealthy obsession, shared with Lieutenant Havoc, with miniskirts.

8. Did I mention that this is Roy Mustang that I'm talking about?

9. He seems to have quite a lot of nosebleeds, particularly when talking about Psiren, which I think is not a good quality for a future Fuhrer.

10. That position belongs to me!

……..Well now that that rant is over I think its time to take Black Hayatae for a walk. Come on Hayatae-kun, we have some dreams to crush.

15th May 2006 – 19:20

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, East HQ. LOG OUT

As is said before, this is just some random stuff but if a few people review this and like it then I will write some more. Peace put Fictioners and Fictionettes! xxx