DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DAMN IT! I DO NOT EVEN OWN MY OWN ASS, THAT BELONGS TO RACHEL… THE LOG BOOKS ARE FROM THAT CHARACTER'S POINT OF VIEW BUT THE REST IS IN THE THIRD PERSON. THIS IS MY FIRST FMA FIC SO BE NICE!

Chapter 3 – THREE DAYS LATER

SIDE NOTE: ANY STARS IN THE MIDDLE OF TEXT ARE THERE TO SEPARATE THE LOGBOOK ENTRIES AND THE ORDINARY TEXT. THANKS XXX

" Can I ask you something?"

" Yeah sure. Whats up?"

Riza Hawkeye leant on her desk and rubbed her forehead in exasperation. Before her, Lieutenant Jean Havoc took another bite of his sandwich and wrote another line in his logbook. Riza answered him sullenly.

" It's the Colonel…"

" What? Mustang? Whats wrong with him? He didn't get his 'finger' stuck in his zipper again did he? He walked funny for weeks after that. Ha!"

" Wait… Why did he walk funny if he trapped his finger… Yuk Havoc that's disgusting."

Havoc laughed and tossed the crusts off his sandwich into the bin.

" It was only a suggestion, Hawkeye. Ok seriously now; I know what you mean, he does seem a little less…manic than usual."

A quieter, unknown voice answered.

" Its because him and Edward are declaring alchemic war on each other again. This time I think Ed drenched the Colonel's ignition gloves in water so that he couldn't conjure flame for a few days while they dried out."

Riza and Havoc turned to see Caine Fury standing by the door with Black Hayatae in his arms. The little dog yapped and barked placidly then leapt to the floor and scampered to his mistress' feet. Riza bent down and stroked his head with one finger while speaking to Caine.

" Thanks for taking him on such short notice, Caine. I had a lot of work to do and couldn't afford to waste time looking after this little guy."

Caine smiled nervously and rubbed the back of his head.

" No worries Lieutenant. I've gotta go back on duty so I'll see you both later."

He saluted to both officers and left the room. Riza yawned and spoke sleepily while stretching her shoulders back to ease a tired muscle.

" I'd better go too, before I keel over out of sleep deprivation. Make sure you finish that entry before you leave, okay."

" Sure thing, Riza. Sweet dreams."

They saluted and Riza left with Black Hayatae hurrying along behind her. Havoc turned back to his book and re-read what he had written so far.

18th March – 20:45

Lieutenant Jean Havoc, East HQ. LOG IN

Paperwork – Check

Duties carried out – Check

Cellotape Bredda to his rifle – Double check

Eat delicious ham sandwich as replacement for double chocolate muffin – Check

Havoc picked up his pen again and carried on from where he had left off.

That's all there is to say really, I haven't had to shoot anyone and no one has been blown up in weeks. I don't even know why Riza insisted on making us do these stupid logbooks anyway. This place is just a logbook hellhole! Ever since Mustang's "Miniskirts for the people" plot failed everythings turned really boring.

Crash

Okay what the hell was that?

18th March – 21:04

Lieutenant Jean Havoc, East HQ. LOG OUT

Havoc slammed the cover of his book shut and ran out into the corridor where he saw many other officers doing the same before retiring to bed. Maes Hughes tore past Havoc's doorway carrying what looked suspiciously like Edward's Clothes. Havoc grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

" Hey Hughes, Whats going down back there? What you carrying?"

Hughes caught his breath and replied.

" I wish I knew. Roy just threw these at me and told me to run for my life."

Suddenly a high-pitched scream, which could have only come from Edward Elric, erupted all around the compound. Roy Mustang came tearing up the corridor laughing his head off. He grabbed Hughes by the scruff of his neck and dragged him along while yelling.

" Head for the chapel! Seek sanctuary from the miniscule beast! Sanctuary, Sanctuary!"

Havoc smiled to himself and went to go back inside but was stopped as Ed ran up the corridor wearing nothing except what looked like a bin bag tied around his waist. The maniac alchemist stopped and yelled to the entire corridor.

" Which way did they go?"

Havoc bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders, determined not to get involved in this prank war. Ed clenched his fists, letting his hands stray from holding up the bin bag. He growled angrily and went to carry on running but his shoddy cover fell to the floor, revealing everything to the crowded corridor. Havoc averted his eyes as someone called out.

" Looks like the Fullmetal pipsqueak is lacking in more than just height!"

Ed's eyes narrowed and anger marks sparked and fizzed on his forehead.

" DON'T SAY PIPSQUEAK!"

He gathered his bin bag and ran off in search of Mustang and his clothes yelling as he went.

" MUSTANG YOU BASTARD! KEEP RUNNING BEFORE I TRANSMUTE YOUR HEAD INTO A PIECE OF CHEESE!"

Havoc sighed and headed off to his dormitory where he would receive some much needed sleep. He rolled into bed and muttered under his breath.

" Fullmetal 1 ; Flame 1."