"Please tell me you're not a man," I said as we, ironically, crossed the foul line.
She frowned. "Seriously?"
I answered, "You hide a secret, and when I ask about it, you tell me you won't tell, you'll show me in the bedroom. What am I supposed to think?"
Her eyes narrowed. "You're still holding my hand."
"Well," I stammered. "Draw your own conclusions."
She snickered. "Do I look like a man?"
"N-no," I said. "But this is Cool World. A person could easily disguise themselves as anything without showing tell tale signs."
She looked genuinely embarrassed.
"Kate. Amanda. I don't know the first thing about you. You haven't told me that much about your family, or, or much of anything that didn't sound a little sketchy."
Kate looked me in the eyes. "Drew. I'm not a man. And I fully intend to prove it to you. That isn't the secret I want to show you."
She sighed, furrowing her brow.
"`Draw your own conclusions'," she said with a smirk. "Are you saying that..."
I reddened. "I don't know. I really hope I'm wrong, but..."
She leaned close to me, finishing my thought. "But you really don't care."
"I...yeah. Not at this point in the...relationship."
She didn't dispute me calling our friendship a relationship. "You know, you really got some balls, making that accusation."
Yes, and they're all yours, I found myself thinking. But I only blurted, "Sorry. I..."
Kate pecked me on the lips. "Patience, Drew. It will be worth the wait."
As we marched across the field, I watched the players disappearing back into the corn.
"Wait," I said. "If they can do that, why did we have to take that horrible drive through the wasteland and almost get killed?" I could have mentioned Extra, but I didn't want to belabor the point.
She gave me a grin. "It wouldn't play."
I groaned. "So we could have gone that way instead?"
"That only works for animated characters," she said. "I did try it once, and almost got through, but, well, I ended up somewhere else."
"What," I said. "Like somewhere in the real world?"
"No." She gave a small shudder. "Someplace in between. I didn't like it."
Noticing Kate waving to someone, I looked up just in time to see Amanda M disappearing into the corn.
For a brief second, I thought I saw the girl's whole body turn blue, but I figured I was seeing things, due to it getting dark and her being obscured by real corn stalks.
"We're kind of grimy," I told Kate. "Is there a shower at your place?"
Kate giggled. "I like how you think. But it's a lot simpler to take care of that here."
She led me to a little building next to the field, your basic men's and women's restroom. Someone had drawn a door between the doors, labeling it `showers.'
She pointed to it. "Hit the showers."
Frowning, I tried the door, just to humor her, but it was only a drawing.
"No," she said. "Actually hit it."
Feeling silly, I punched the drawing lightly, and found my body actually getting clean, like I had showered for real. Even my clothing seemed refreshed.
"Wow," I said. "That's...anticlimactic."
"Perhaps," she said, striking the drawing herself. "But you have to admit, it is convenient."
And so, with our clothing and bodies cool and fresh, we climbed back into the vehicle.
Aside from a little mischievous giggling from Kate, we maintained silence for about a minute, and the armored carrier was back in Nowhere Land in no time at all.
She stopped the carrier.
"I got an idea," she said. "Let's get out."
And so I did what she asked, and she folded Chips up into a suitcase.
"What's the plan?" I said, staring at all the holes.
She pulled a folded map out of her cleavage, examining it. "Okay...if we drop down Hole 93, we'll come out 24...and that will take us to..."
She frowned at the diagram. "Well, it'll be random, but it'll still be easier than driving through the wasteland."
I just sighed, following her wherever she chose to go.
We dropped through a hole, and then I was falling...screaming from a hole in the sky...tumbling through another hole...
And then we were in a nightclub.
The interior decoration was chaotic and frenzied, like an artist had taken a bunch of methamphetamines, swallowed a bottle of ink, and threw up all over. A completely disorganized mess, but an oddly stylish one. One section of the place was all neon and black paint.
The place was populated entirely by animated cats and wolves. It had a bar, but it was unoccupied. The music system played Dub Step music as the creatures danced around the place.
As Kate was picking herself off the floor, straightening her outfit, the wolves turned around and ogled her body.
"Where the hell are we?" I asked.
"It's the Slash Club," Kate sighed. "One of Holli's properties. Let's go."
She led me through the dancing creatures, aiming for the exit. Along the way, we accidentally bumped into that ape thing that had harassed me at Holli's place.
"Hey, Kate," he said. "Is that your date tonight? Or are you just going on a little f-"
She elbowed him. Hard.
Since we kept moving, I was left to mentally fill in the blanks myself. The first thing that came to mind was something crude.
"You...aren't a prostitute, are you?" I asked.
"No." Kate's tone was sharp and clipped.
Sensitive subject.
We bumped into the short brown lady not too long afterwards.
"Interesting choice, Kate," she said. "Does he know that-"
"I want him to hear it from me first," Kate barked.
The female looked indifferent. "It's your-"
"Keep your mouth shut," Kate said. "It's not the right time."
I had no clue about what all the fuss was concerning, but I figured I would learn soon enough.
The door was guarded by a literal bouncer. The guy had no legs. He just bounced on his rounded lower torso, like some kind of ridiculous punching bag. He said nothing to us, just raised an eyebrow and let us pass.
We stepped out onto the darkened street beyond. I couldn't tell what surrounded the place, just a bunch of black skyscrapers. The Slash Club itself almost looked like a gym from the outside, except much darker and covered in neon. I found it strange that the club had so many large windows when bars and nightclubs in general do not.
As I was puzzling over this, the baby mutant with the biker gloves waddled up to us.
For a moment, he scrutinized us, squinting his eyes, rubbing his chin.
When Kate tried to drag me past him, he hopped in our path and said, "I want to see what the baby looks like. If it's as handsome as me, it might have a new playmate."
I cringed. "Kate, do you know these creeps?"
She rolled her eyes. "Unfortunately, yes. I...used to be in a gang."
The mutant covered his mouth to suppress a laugh. "Good one."
"Ignore him," she said, tugging on my hand. "C'mon."
Kate unfolded our vehicle, and we climbed back in.
To my surprise, and some alarm, I began to notice recognizable landmarks passing by as she drove me to our destination.
The building with the lions.
The place belonging to Miss Terious.
And then...we were parking at Holli's apartment.
"You live here?" I cried in dismay.
She shrugged. "What. It's a big building. Don't look so surprised. The rent is very cheap."
We got out, and she folded Chips into a suitcase, handing it to me to carry. Being the gentleman I am, I didn't mind.
It was evening, so now the place looked deserted, with Angry Alligator (Sweet Pickles guy) running a steam vac over the carpet. Eek was still trying to wiggle his way out of the vending machine.
As we neared the elevator, I noticed Sneezer, clad only in a diaper, springing from a padded chair. He marched up to us.
"You haven't forgotten me, have you?" he asked.
"Oh no, sweetie," Kate said, rubbing his head. "You're just in time."
I didn't have to guess what that meant. I swallowed like I were trying to down a horse pill.
This is really happening, I thought.
"You're...okay with having a voyeur," I said with skepticism.
"Drew," she said, patting her chest. "Stripper? Hypocritical much?"
To my chagrin, I also saw Riffraff and Cleo rising from a nearby couch to join our little party.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I said. "The slavery is supposed to start tomorrow."
"Technically, it's part of the deal," the cat replied. "By entertaining me, you're providing a valuable service."
"Plus we were curious," Cleo said with a nod. "We've never seen...noids do it before."
"Really?" I said. "Holli watches Desperate Housewives. You'd think..."
The lady cat rolled her eyes. "This is different. Kate is my friend."
"A little creepy," I muttered. Then, when I saw Kate's indignant expression, I added, "But whatever floats your boat, I guess."
"By the way, Kate," I said. "How do so many doodles receive broadcasts from the real world?"
"Radio and television broadcasts from your world have a wider reach than you think. It's actually easier to pick up satellite data and FM radio than it is to convey objects back and forth."
"You two are definitely on the same wavelength," Cleo said.
"I'd be amazed if they weren't," Riffraff said with a chuckle.
I scowled at them. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Cleo blurted.
Riffraff flashed his teeth. "She just means that since you're both human, we can see that you two have a connection that we doodles can't provide."
I eyed Kate with suspicion. "Why are we getting all these weird comments?"
"I...don't know," she said. I thought I saw her blushing. "I think it's just that there aren't that many noids around town, and when two of them get together, it's like, I don't know, watching pandas at the zoo trying to produce offspring."
"Really," Cleo said. "I'm happy for you. I thought after-"
Kate grabbed the cat, covering her mouth.
She gave me a sheepish grin, acting like nothing was wrong.
"This had better be good," I said.
"You have no idea."
Kate raised her hand to the call elevator button, then stopped.
"Close your eyes," she said.
I sighed. "I thought we were done with that."
"Last time, I swear. After this, I promise you'll never have to close your eyes for me again."
I did what was asked.
"Done," she said.
I opened my eyes.
The doors opened and I found myself looking into a room oddly similar to the interior of the bottle on I Dream of Genie. A purplish undecorated cylinder containing only a long couch running around its circumference.
In nervous silence, we seated ourselves, awkwardly staring at each other. Extra whistled some song they always teach high school marching bands to play. Kate placed her hand on my thigh as the elevator rose.
The doors slid open again, and Kate led me out into the same floor I'd met Vanessa on. Floor 2000.
"This is Holli's floor," I said.
She nodded. "It's also mine."
The hallway was dark, illuminated only by a few wall sconces, the corners of neon signs on the front of the building, and the stars.
Holli was leaning against the door to her place, just kind of watching us. When the elevator closed, she called to Kate.
"Amanda..." she began.
"Don't," Kate said. "Just don't. This doesn't concern you."
"I suppose if you're happy..."
"Why is that a concern of yours?" I asked.
"It's not," said Kate.
In response, Holli just sighed and marched into her suite, slamming the cardboard door behind her.
"What's her problem?"
Kate shrugged. "I don't know."
"Is there some kind of relationship between you and Holli?"
"No!" she said. "It's nothing like that. She's just...nosy. Thinks she's helping people out."
I frowned. "She's certainly an odd bird."
"You have no idea."
We marched down the hallway, stopping in front of a drawing of a door. Kate stuck a glowing key into a drawing of a keyhole, turning it like a locker combination.
There was a click, and the door turned real, swinging open to reveal a deluxe studio apartment.
Near the door, I saw a little table and chairs on the side, sort of a dining room-ish thing, a kitchenette on the other, with a small bar table.
Beyond that stood a half wall, with a short staircase cutting through part of it, leading to a glass box with stools. When Kate led me around this partition, I discovered, much to my discomfort, that the box was made of two way glass, and it overlooked a queen bed.
It was a viewing booth.
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.
The back end of the studio held a bedroom/study. Continuous bookshelves lined all three walls, filled with real books, and there was a curving couch along the fronts of the bookshelves in the southeast corner.
Oh, and there were rubber mats all over the floor, in case someone decided to wrestle, I suppose, and mirrors.
In addition to the mirrors of the viewing booth, there was one on the ceiling, over the bed, and long rectangular ones tilted at an angle above both the east and west bookshelves.
"So..." I said. "This is the Bunny...Pad?"
"I suppose so," she said, straightening her costume.
All the mirrors reflected a cartoon version of Kate. I noticed this the moment I stepped past the half wall.
My reflection, of course, was real.
"So..." I said, pointing to Amanda M. "These are all trick mirrors?"
She nodded.
"This seems very...theatrical."
She just stared at me, as if waiting for a punch line. Her reflection mostly mirrored her posture, but I saw one of them twerking, shaking her butt.
"Do you...record shows of some kind? Charge admission? Post stuff online?"
Kate shook her head. "But it's not a bad idea..."
"So what's all this stuff then?"
"It just makes me feel pretty."
"Are you sure...you haven't been with any other men?"
She sighed through her nose. "...No."
She faced away from the mirrors, but her reflection showed only her front, copying her pose, legs slightly apart, arms behind her back.
"C'mon, Kate," I pleaded. "You got to be honest with me. What's the deal with all this? Why's there a viewing booth and all this stuff when I just arrived..." Honestly, I didn't know what time it was in reality, but I was pretty sure a day hadn't passed yet, because I hadn't slept. "This afternoon?"
Close enough.
Kate wrapped her arms around me, pressing her mouth to my ear. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, Drew. A live human being! In my bed! I knew the time would come, if I were patient enough. I knew it, Drew! That's why I had all this stuff put in. For years, it just sat here, collecting dust. But I knew someone like you would come to me."
"That sounds like building a zoo and waiting for an elephant to magically fall into one of the cages."
"More like building an altar and waiting for a god to come," she said.
"So this is kind of a religious obsession?"
"Almost," she whispered. "Almost."
"I think you spend too much time with cartoons," I said.
"I agree," she said. "But now you're here, aren't you?"
I swallowed.
"Do you want to get on top, or should I?"
"What?" I knew exactly what she meant, but the woman was being so blunt and direct, it made me uneasy.
Well, at least a little uneasy.
She dragged me closer to the bed. Heart shaped pillows, powder pink bed coverings. "Top or bottom?"
"Uh, bottom, I guess-"
The moment I said this, she shoved me onto the silken sheets.
I retreated toward the pillows, scuttling on my legs and elbows like a crab.
The unnaturally bright glimmer above me told me Amanda M was watching me from up there, too.
Kate crawled across the sheets like a tiger on the prowl...for me.
"Wait," I blurted, pointing up. "Are you really going to let your sister watch the whole thing?"
Kate laughed. "We've already got three doodles in the audience," she said as she pulled off my shoes and socks. "What's wrong with one more?"
"I can see her," I said.
"I told you, we share everything."
She unbuttoned my cartoon suit top. My reflection's suitcoat came off at the same time Kate was taking mine off.
"Is she going to copy everything that we do?"
Kate stopped in the middle of unfastening my shirt buttons and sighed. "Is that a problem?"
It was kind of a problem. "Um..."
She finished unbuttoning and undid my belt. "Are you getting performance anxiety?"
My response came out a little high pitched and girly sounding. "Yeah?"
She giggled. "Just breathe. Slow and steady. Focus on me. You want me, don't you, Drew?"
I nodded.
Kate pulled my pants off. "Good. Don't pay attention to them. Only pay attention to me."
And then my boxers came off.
Hearing a mechanical whirring noise, I turned my head and saw one of those scissor lift things rising up outside the windows, bearing the ape, the diapered monkey creature and the little brown lady.
Kate grabbed my chin, turning my head to face her.
"Ignore them," she purred, straddling my lap, her rubber thong against my growing erection as she adjusted the straps on her rabbit headdress.
"So. Drew..." she said, lowering her voice to a husky tone. "Do you want my ears up, or down?"
It was a reference to a cartoon I had seen, but I still didn't get it. "Huh?"
She sighed, pointing to the ears. "Do you want this off, or can I keep it on?"
"On please," I stammered.
"On it is." She unbuttoned the middle of her thong, allowing me to penetrate her.
I gasped as she eased onto me, burying my throbbing manhood further and further within her body.
Her insides felt oddly cool, and slick, but it was my first time, so who was I to say if anything was amiss?
Extra and his blue companions extricated themselves from my rumpled cartoon clothing, flying up to watch from one of the bookshelves.
"We should sell tickets," Kate said with wry grin.
I let out an uneasy chuckle.
Noting my nervousness, she grabbed my hands, placing them on her legs. "It's okay to touch them. Right now they're yours."
She wiggled herself upon me. "Feel free to touch and grab anything you want. I will!"
Kate definitely did.
I grabbed her buttocks, sliding my fingers around the soft curves. I thought I heard the birds clapping like this was a golf tournament. Tried to ignore it.
"Do you think I'm a man now?" Kate purred.
"No ma'am! And I've never been so glad!"
She pulled herself up my hardened muscle, then slowly slid herself down, the cartoon version of herself doing the same thing in the reflection.
"Can your twin?" I gasped as she repeated the process. "Can she get an orgasm from-"
It was hard, difficult to talk in that kind of situation.
She got the idea anyway. "Oh definitely," she said with a wiggle.
We kissed.
"I'm sorry. I haven't been honest with you," she grunted as she rubbed her rear against my lap.
"Amanda M is not a twin, or a sister. What you're seeing in those mirrors is my actual reflection."
"But I saw her at the game!" I protested.
She shook her head, pausing her activity for a moment. "That was Mystique impersonating me. You are familiar with Mystique, aren't you?"
I stared at her in shock. She hired a shapeshifter to deceive me!
"The name...rings a bell."
I froze, my mood ebbing somewhat. "You lied to me."
"I was afraid you wouldn't want me if you knew the truth."
Things below were softening now. "So this was all a trick to get me in bed."
"I could argue the same thing about your little deal with Sneezer."
She rocked back and forth on my lap, coaxing things back into rigidity.
"There's a law..." I said.
"Yes." She pulled herself up on me. "I've seen how you looked at those doodles. Kusinagi. Vanessa. Heck, even Cleo." She let out a soft moan as she lowered herself. "Admit it. If you never met me, you still would have broken that law. For your wallet." She rose back up my shaft.
"Fine," I gasped. "Yeah."
I slipped my hand under her garters. "Why do you have a cartoon reflection?"
She eased herself down. "Doctor...Strange," she gasped. "He trapped me inside something called the Purgatory Crystal. The device...separates your spirit from your body. It was meant for doodles, not humans. I escaped, but it changed me. It changed my reflection, it changed my physiology, it changed...everything."
Cartoon world or not, I didn't buy it. I was stretching my willing suspension of disbelief to the breaking point when I heard her first fib. "That...sounds just like the other story you told."
"It's true, okay?" she said in a shuddering breath as she pulled herself up on me.
"I still don't understand why you would make up that lie about a sister when-"
She interrupted me with a wild passionate kiss, rubbing against me, sliding up and down. The sensation of that body in that rubber outfit sliding across my bare skin was electric, the visual endlessly stimulating. And then she kept doing...what she was doing.
I wanted to pick apart her story about a magic crystal. I wanted her to tell me the truth, but the moment I tried to question her about it, she kissed me some more, riding my lap.
"You're lying to me," I gasped as her pace increased.
"I know," she moaned. "I'm really sorry, but I can't tell you yet. Not until we're done."
"You admit it!" I cried in outrage. "I trusted you!"
"You wouldn't understand." And then she suppressed my next angry protest with deep kissing.
I was angry.
Frustrated.
It kind of felt like failure.
She pulled her lips away from me with a giggle. "I was right. Failure does turn you on."
"But I didn't-" I said.
"You failed to get the answer you wanted."
And then she kissed me again.
My brain shut down and I just thrusted.
I mean, hey, even though I felt completely betrayed and angry...we were in the middle of something. I think in the back of my mind I just decided to shut up and enjoy the ride.
I may have resented her, but I couldn't really say I hated her. At least, not enough to quit.
I heard someone playing If You Really Love A Woman by Bryan Adams as mood music, but I tried to tune it out.
When we had started, I found the movements of the animated figure in the mirror embarrassing, but now, as things were getting heavier, I actually found it exciting. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but my eyes kept wandering up there.
Getting really into it now, Kate discarded her bunny ears, shaking her pigtails loose.
As she rode upon another thrust, she moaned loudly, and all of a sudden I see a pair of animated cat's ears exploding from her hair.
I stopped what I was doing, gawking at her. "What! What's that!"
"Nothing," she gasped. "They just...pop out whenever I'm surprised, or really excited."
"It's cute," I said.
"I know."
"I like it."
"I know."
She wiggled her butt down, physically urging me to resume our activity.
Since we were already halfway there, I went with it.
"How do you know?" I gasped.
"How do you think?" she said in a half moan. "I'm sitting on your `like' meter!"
And that's when I see an orange tail burst from her rear end. Her hair coloration changed to red like it had been instantly dyed that way.
I stopped to stare, too surprised to continue. "You're Vanessa Vixx!"
She nodded. "Think of it like, I don't know, Mini Wheats. Vanessa is the wheat side."
"And you're frosted," I groaned.
"I told you I had layers."
I cringed. "Like an onion."
"Exactly."
"I didn't know you were a cartoon, or..."
She closed her eyes, shook her body, and suddenly I was being straddled by the animated version of herself. Amanda M. "Or what?" she said, wiggling herself into my crotch.
The combination of sensations was exotic, intoxicating, kind of like screwing living paint. And when I looked at the mirror, I saw a human making the same motions the cartoon did.
"Okay," I stammered as I slid my hands up her brightly colored legs. "So maybe I might anyway."
"That's what I thought," she purred as she rode me.
Our movements gathered speed, becoming more and more urgent, until at last we reached that point where everything kind of tips over the edge, and...
Incredible waves of pleasure flooded our bodies, exploding outwards with such power that all the windows and mirrors shattered, and then the second wave came like an earthquake, scattering the birds scattered and throwing the voyeurs in the box backwards down the staircase.
I heard screams as the scissor lift went flying off the side of the building.
The walls cracked, pictures fell to the floor and shattered.
Oh, and our bodies were flickering with glowing light.
"Whoa!" I shouted. "What the hell was all that!"
"What did it feel like?" she giggled.
Amazing, I thought, but I didn't say it. I wanted answers.
"I...uh, Drew, I haven't exactly been truthful about something..."
"You haven't been truthful about several somethings," I said indignantly. "What the hell is this glowing?" I held up my hand, and it turned into a Mickey Mouse glove, then changed back. "Out with it, Kate! What is this!"
She caressed my naked chest. "I didn't want to tell you before, but...we have the same father."
I pushed her back, trying to sit up, trying to get away. "But that's impossible! You're animated! How-"
"Holli Would is my mom."
I shuddered. "Oh God. You mean we're like..."
"Brother and sister," she finished bashfully.
Suddenly, it all made sense.
All the snide comments and subtle innuendo.
Why we seemed to be so similar.
Why she knew so much about dad.
When Holli laughed about she and dad having children, that wasn't a "You've got to be kidding", it was...something else entirely.
And Kate/Amanda/Vanessa, had been lying...about it all.
I felt unclean. Polluted. Like some character from a V.C. Andrews story.
I quickly disengaged myself from her.
"You said you never knew your parents!"
"I wish I never knew them."
"So you lied."
She nodded. "How else was I supposed to get you to sleep with me?"
I had no answer for that.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm technically your half sister."
"When were you planning to tell me this!" I cried.
"Now." She slid a hand up my thigh, but I pushed it away.
"This is disgusting. Why would you even do such a thing? Why?"
"Drew. I'm a half doodle. I don't belong to either world. As a human, I live in a world that's flat and tasteless. As a doodle, I can't feel anything. My mom slept with a noid, and she became part real for a time. I thought that maybe if I did the same thing, I'd become more real."
I scowled at her. "And the fact that you're essentially committing incest doesn't bother you."
She gave me an apologetic shrug. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for a man. A real human man."
"Why not go the other way?" I said. "Why not sleep with a cartoon and become more...cartoony?"
Amanda frowned. "Why would I want to do that?"
"Wait," I said. "You told me those ears come out when you were surprised. Why didn't that happen when I first met you, um, as Vanessa?"
She gave me this look like I already knew the answer.
My mouth fell open in shock. "You bumped into me on purpose!"
Amanda chuckled. "If it's any consolation, my tail did pop out..."
I sighed. "At least I'm not hearing Dueling Banjos."
"Don't-!" she cried, but it was too late.
A pair of cartoon hillbillies with long beards and overalls popped out of the floor with their musical instruments, performing the song I just mentioned.