Amanda removed the hillbillies from the room by means of a trapdoor lever disguised as a copy of The Hunger Games. If anything, I thought. A person who makes that their first choice of reading material deserves to fall through that trapdoor.

We sat naked on opposite sides of the bed, just staring at each other in awkward silence.

We were still glowing, but now it was doing funny things to us.

Not "Funny ha-ha." More like, "Funny uh-oh."

Once the last of our orgasm had subsided, I saw Amanda's body physically begin to change.

Before, as we were nearing climax, she had been fully animated, her flesh a bright pastel, her features streamlined and delineated, but now the brightness was fading, turning back into Kate.

I, on the other had, appeared to be turning a bright peach at a rate of roughly one time every other minute.

She gave me an apologetic smile. "Thank you."

"For what?" I blurted, then, realizing what she meant, I frowned and said oh.

She pulled one leg up in front of her, studying the device attached to her ankle.

"Is that really a superhero notification system?" I asked.

"No," she said with a grin. "It only tells me when my body will change into Melissa or Vanessa or Kate."

She squinted at the watch, pushing some buttons.

She let out a squeal of triumph, shaking her fists. "It worked! It actually worked! Normally I stay animated at this hour, and won't change back until nine in the morning!"

She suddenly grabbed me, giving me another one of those passionate kisses.

"Thank you, oh thank you!" And she kissed me some more.

I shoved her away. "We can't be doing this! We're related!"

"Half related."

"It doesn't matter!" I insisted. "We can't! It's wrong!"

"Your penis doesn't think so," she said.

She was right, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

I grabbed a pillow, covering my crotch, but that only made her giggle.

I just scowled at her, pulling on my boxers.

Kate looked at me with a pleading expression. "Don't you love me, Drew?"

I swallowed. "You're family."

"That's not what I asked."

It was fair to make that distinction.

Sighing, I said, "You're my sister. Of course I love you. It just...can't be in that way."

"Are you sure?"

I blushed. "We are not having this conversation."

"You try so hard to get me to open up and tell you the truth, and then when I do, you refuse to extend me the same courtesy."

"It's not the same thing, dammit! You're asking me if I enjoyed incest! That's not something I'd share with anyone!"

She looked sad. Dejected. I even saw tears rolling down her cheeks.

Real tears. Not animated.

"Look," I said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You're the only sibling I've got. I'm going to love you as a sister. I'll care for you. Like family."

"But you won't do it a second time."

"There shouldn't have been a first!" I shouted.

"Your boxers are tenting up," she said.

"You keep those pretty eyes somewhere else, okay?"

"Okay," she sniffed. "But I'm not sorry for what I've done. Thank you."

My hands were flickering, turning animated.

I wanted to complain about this, but...if I fixed my sister...I supposed it wasn't the worst thing that could happen.

I guess I was just trying to justify it to myself.

"You've made me the happiest girl in Cool World," she said. "I'm glad you were my first."

There were so many things I felt like saying, about how I enjoyed it and everything, but wrong is wrong. I wasn't going to intentionally commit incest, so I just held my tongue.

When I did speak, I instead ended up saying, "You know, I've got the strangest craving for cold hot dogs."

Amanda gave me a thin smile, implying that my joke wasn't funny, but it wasn't a joke. Something had gone seriously wrong.

I frowned at my flickering hand, which now seemed to be a brown-white animal claw. "You said you can control this?"

She shook her head. "To a degree."

My hand flickered human, then animated again. Now it was peach.

Amanda handed me her watch. "Here. You might have more use of this than me now."

I took it, but still said, "So you cured yourself by infecting me?"

She shrugged. "Drew, no one has done anything like this before. I didn't know it was going to do this to you."

She squeezed me. "Drew, you've given me the greatest gift I've ever received in my entire life. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I have no regrets."

"Wait," I said. "All those times you told me to close my eyes...?"

"I turned into Melissa," she said. "It requires my utmost concentration, but I can sometimes exert limited control over my changes. Of course, it was easier to turn myself into a doodle than a human. Especially when I'm about to have an orgasm."

"I thought you said-"

She blushed. "You were. All I meant was, it was really easy to become a doodle when we were doing it."

"But why did you cry and have a broken heart when you knew I was still going to be with you?"

She shrugged. "Wouldn't it seem a little suspicious if I, I mean, she didn't at least pretend to be jealous?"

"I guess you got a point."

"Plus, doesn't it hurt a little when the person you love only loves one part of you?"

"Now wait a minute. I never said that I didn't love-"

She kissed me, grabbed my boxers. I pushed her away.

Amanda reddened. "I'm sorry. I..."

"I know."

Amanda scrunched up her face, like she were concentrating on something really hard.

Nothing happened.

She joyously beat her fists on her covers. "I'm human! I'm human!"

"And I'm less so," I groaned.

We've gone way too far, I thought. I seriously have to get out of here. "Wait. I can leave now, right? The rips in reality are dilated and all that, aren't they?"

"I guess," she said.

"What do you mean, `you guess'?"

"Well, I know I'll be fine, but you...you're part doodle now."

I smacked my face with my hand. "Dammit."

Now I was almost positive that I hated her.

...Of course, I didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying that.

Once Amanda had painted the mirrors back in, I got up from the bed, staring at myself in the glass.

And my animated self.

I looked like a character from one of those Boy's Life comics. I still had black hair, but now I suddenly had a button nose, mousey ears, and, of course, a sash full of fake merit badges, a scarf, and a green uniform. A pink rat's tail poked out of my green bell bottomed pants, and I wore a pair of opaque white glasses.

"It like I'm looking at my inner child," I muttered.

Amanda set down her bucket of...window paint and put her arm around me. "You look very cute."

I turned real for a second, then, suddenly I was looking at myself as a naked brown and white rat...with breasts.

Amanda's arm didn't move. "That's, um, cute too!"

I looked at her with unease, then stared at my reflection.

I sighed, and the Boy Scout sighed back. "Do I have a choice about what I look like? Animated?"

"It's complicated," she said.

"And why is he in a Scout uniform when I'm not?"

As if in response, my reflection flickered, and I was looking at an adult version of the same rat tailed Scout, clad only in his boxers, still wearing glasses.

"I don't even wear glasses," I said.

"They're cute glasses."

My reflection smiled at the compliment, but I did not.

"It's easy to see why Cool World has no real psychologists," Amanda said. "Already I can see where your trouble is."

"Funny," I said.

"I've heard that you can modify your form if you can draw."

"And if you can't?"

She shrugged. "I can show you some great places to shop."

"So," I said. "Were you born a sexy comic book character? Or did it develop somehow?"

Amanda giggled. "It developed. At first, I was kind of like baby Pebbles, except with cat ears and a tail. Mom has pictures. I got a little older, and I resembled Wendy the Witch, without the witch costume, then like a kid on Johnny Quest. Eventually, I grew breasts, and then...I was Amanda."

"So my...cartoon self will change if I grow a beard?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

I waggled my fingers at the mirror experimentally, watching the animated rat man copying me.

"I suppose...it's kinda cool."

"See?" She kissed my cheek. "It's not so bad."

I couldn't exactly agree. At least, not to the point of thanking her. "Uh..."

As I continued to stare at my reflection, I saw Riffraff walking out from behind the wall, munching from a bag of popcorn. "That was amazing!"

Cleo ate a handful from his bag. "Did it feel as good as it looked?"

Amanda blushed and nodded. "It did!"

I cringed.

"You are so lucky."

I swallowed, trying to convince myself I wasn't there.

It got worse when Sneezer came out and said, "That was great! I had to change my diaper twice!"

For this reason, I shuddered when he handed me my wallet.

"Don't worry. I rinsed it off," he said.

I opened the wallet, checking its contents. Everything was in there, all right.

Well, almost.

"Sneezer, where's my driver's license?"

He just cleared his throat.

"Good Lord," I said. "Are you freaking kidding me!"

Sneezer frowned and slowly said "No."

Amanda smiled at me, looking hopeful, but I just scowled.

At least it's just the driver's license, I thought. It's relatively easy to replace.

"You can leave now," I said to him. "Show's over. I'm not screwing my sister again."

My spectators eyed me with skepticism.

"Shoo," I said, waving them away. "Go! Out!"

Riffraff looked slightly angry, but I think it was tempered by the fact he already got to see everything worth seeing. "Rest up," he said. "You've got a busy...three hundred and sixty five days of slavery coming in..." He checked his watch. "Six hours."

I sighed. "Out."

The cats vacated the room, but the mouse did not.

"I said the show's over," I said. "Why don't you go down to a park and spank yourself with a paddle or something?"

"There's a fold out bed in the observation booth," Amanda said. "Just pull the slot machine lever."

Giving her a nod, Sneezer disappeared behind the wall.

A second later, I heard him scream like he were falling down a bottomless pit.

"Sounds like two cherries and a lemon," Amanda remarked.

I chuckled. "Was there really a bed?"

"Actually yes. But you have to get three Liberty Bells."

Amanda rubbed my shoulders. "You must be tired. You've had a very hard day." She blushed. "I mean difficult. You must be exhausted. I know I'm tired. Why don't we both get some rest?" Then she nodded toward the bed.

I rolled my eyes. "Nice try, Amanda," I said. "But I'm not sleeping with you again."

"Drew," she said. "We didn't literally sleep."

"You meant `sleep sleep'?"

She nodded. "Brothers and sisters do that sometimes, don't they?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

I put my clothes back on, climbing into bed.

When Amanda joined me, I rolled over so my back faced her, and we lay that way for a couple minutes, back to back, with our eyes closed.

Before I could begin to get any sort of decent REM sleep, I hear someone knocking...on a window.

Groaning, I sat up, staggering over to the source of the noise.

Behind a tall window between two bookcases, I saw a bird.

A fuzzy blue bird in a white suit top and skirt, with a briefcase in her hand and nurse's cap on her head.

The creature shuffled its feet more securely on the ledge, knocking again.

"What the hell?" I cried. "Amanda! What is this? Window to window insurance sales?"

"Open it!" she groaned from the bed. "I'm not animated, or I'd be over there already!"

"It's not a vampire, is it? Vampires always knock..."

I heard Amanda's heels stomping haphazardly behind me. "It's not a vampire. Vampires don't wear white."

Rolling my eyes, I unlatched the window and pulled it open.

The bird brushed herself off, regarding me with a very stern, serious expression.

"My name is Cupcake with National Baby Farms, Worldwide Child Cabbage Patch LLC. Also known as the NBF. Our systems detected sexual intercourse in this location, and I need to ask you a few questions. Is this a bad time?"

"Yes," I groaned.

Amanda elbowed me hard. "Now is fine."

"Our apologies for this intrusion, sir and ma'am. Due to the (ahem) unusual nature of your...union, the NBF sent me to audit this transaction, to make sure it falls within guidelines.

"As you may or may not be aware, Ms. Wood, the intercourse of your two parents was in direct violation of NBF policy.

"This union, performed without prior consultation with Planned Seeding Services (and without filing the proper forms afterward, I might add) introduced certain impurities into the seeding process, which you no doubt have experienced throughout your childhood, pre-pubescence and adult life."

The bird opened her suitcase, laid it on the floor, then did something to it so that it unfolded out into a small desk.

She opened a drawer, took out a clipboard with a thick packet of forms on it, cleared her throat.

"Amanda K Wood. Our records show that you are part human, meaning that you currently or semi currently possess a functioning human sex organ of some type, allowing you to reproduce without the assistance of NBF's services. Being as the act of procreation has occurred..."

She checked her watch.

"Eight minutes and thirty seconds ago, and said act was performed with a non-animated individual, we need to know if you intend to reproduce bodily or will still be requiring the use of NBF and its partners. If you do intend to make use of our services, we will require you to sign some paperwork and pay a small fee."

Amanda giggled. "I think I have a fully functional vagina now, so I should be fine, thank you."

Cupcake looked confused.

"She means no," I said.

"Are you absolutely certain you want to do this?" the bird asked. "If it is discovered that you cannot produce children, your contract with NBF cannot be reinstated."

I grimaced, looking at my partner with discomfort. "I really don't think a baby is a good idea for us anyway."

Amanda looked hurt, but nodded. "We'll take our chances, thank you."

The bird sighed in relief. "You have no idea how happy that makes me! The HDBB 2900's alone take an hour to complete, then there's all the waivers and policies and restrictions. The damn thing's as long as the Monica Lewinsky report."

"There's a job for you, Mr. Tax Man!" Amanda giggled. "I think you two would get along famously!"

I let out an uneasy chuckle.

Cupcake shuddered in disgust.

Giving me a scowl, the bird turned to one of the back pages of the packet, offering me a pen. "I just need a signature here, to state that you two mutually agree to natural human birth."

I stared at the form, trying to make sure I understood what I was reading before we signed it.

It was no use. The paper contained nothing but generic Lorem Ipsum text with a couple lines about how we waived NBF services, and blanks for our signatures.

"I'm pretty sure this form wouldn't hold up in court," I said.

"You haven't seen our courts," Amanda laughed. "Just sign it."

"Why do I feel like I'm signing over my soul?"

"In a way, you are," she said.

I sighed and wrote my signature.

Amanda, in turn, signed her part.

The moment she put down that last stroke, I heard the ominous roar of thunder, and lightning bolts lit up the windows.

Suddenly I heard a phone ringing.

I looked around, but the bird waved a feathered hand. "It's for me. Hold on."

She pulled a phone out of the desk drawer, holding the earpiece to her head. "Hello. Agent 3." She paused, listening.

Her face literally turned white. "Oh God. Not another one!"

She sighed. "No. They signed a cancellation form. I'll be there right away."

I and Amanda stared at each other.

"Another one?" we asked ourselves in unison.

I frowned. "Why do I think she's talking about Jessica?"

The bird's eyes narrowed. "You know her?"

I gave her a shrug. "Maybe?"

Cupcake shook her entire body like a real bird does when a huge pile of snow falls on its head.

She quickly shoved the desk and everything back into the little briefcase, hurrying back out the window.

"So that's where babies come from," I said.

Amanda looked at me with an uncomfortable facial expression. "That's where they used to come from."

"If you have babies, and they're born with birth defects, they're going to be interesting birth defects."

She grinned. "You said that in a plural."

I reddened. "Baby. I meant one. Singular. Unless you have twins."

"Sure you did."

I just sighed.

We returned to bed, I and Amanda once again sleeping with our backs to each other.

We slept that way.

Well, so maybe after the first hour she had her arms around me, but nothing happened.

Nothing physically.

Mentally, though, I was going on the cartoon equivalent of a bad acid trip, one where past memories become dumb looking cartoons with depressing, unfunny plot twists.

I'm the cartoon Boy Scout, doing the dishes in the kitchen. I accidentally break one of the dishes. Mom's boyfriend comes in and beats the hell out of me. Says I broke them on purpose.

He's choking me. Doing that sleeper hold thing where you pinch the pressure point until you black out. I see stars. And Extra.

When I awake, I'm the female rat, and I'm holding hands with someone...I can't quite see...and then I'm in a bedroom, crying, and this vague...someone is yelling at me, saying that because I signed that form, we can't have babies, and it's all my fault for screwing my sister.

It feels so real that I sit up, gasping and panting...

And that's when I notice that I have claws for feet, and I'm dressed in a red kimono.

"What's the matter, honey?" Amanda moaned groggily.

"I...I...I had a nightmare," I cried in a voice several octaves higher than it should be.

Amanda's eyes flew open, taking in my unusual body configuration with startled surprise. "What?"

"I don't know! You tell me!"

My hands and body flickered, then returned to normal. Well, semi-normal.

"You just had a nightmare," she said. "It happens."

"What do you mean, it happens?" I cried. "The transformation?"

"Sometimes." She shut her eyes.

"So I could go to bed and wake up a rat woman."

"Yes," she sighed. "Go back to sleep."

Easier said than done.

I just laid there, staring at the ceiling.