I have her where I want her, but I know I'll never get her.
She's sitting there attentively, eyes wide and listening. It's as if every word that comes from my lips is the Gospel. In my case, at least, it is.
She's on my bed, sitting just on the edge not too far from me. But there are other seats in my room she could take if she wanted to. The only thing that separates us, besides a few heavy books I'm reading to her from, is the fact that she's dating a freaking idiot.
I pause my speech for a moment to look at her. She's looking back at me with her penetrating emerald gaze. It could happen, if she let me. It could happen, if only she'd open her mind. It could happen...if she knew what was good for her.
Many a night I reminisced on the few fleeting moments of lustful passion that ensued previously between us. Many a night my mind conjured up a few more visions...fantasies, if you will, of her inhibitions leaving and my wildest dreams finally coming true. The same look she has in her eyes now was the very look I remember from these fantasies. The look she had when I leaned to kiss her, the look she had when I touched her, the look she had when I ripped off her top, and once I delved into this passion- this pleasure- I remembered the look no more.
This wasn't how it was going to happen. The scene is right, the characters are dead on, and if you ask me the time is right. But the only thing that separates my fantasy from reality is the fact that she is dating a sappy loser.
I distractedly continue my lesson as my mind wandered while my mouth gave speech. I notice small things about her like when I say something interesting, she leans in a little closer and blinks with disbelief. My words are like the melodies of the Pied Piper...drawing her in closer and closer. Without much strai, I could now reach and stroke her cheek. I want to, but I can't.
For someone who is as powerful as me, I am but a helpless fool. I may have a vast knowledge of our craft. I may possess more strength than her. Those things I hold over her head to make her feel powerless, when in reality she has this control over me that she would never understand. Well, she could understand if she wanted to. She could realize that just her look has sent my mind flying around the room, wrapping itself in thoughts involving her and my bed and not including clothing. She doesn't realize that I would do anything right now for her to let me touch her in that way. I want to feel those sparks of fiery passion, of burning lust. I'm going to Hell (if there is one) and I already know it. I want to drag her there with me. I want the darkness to consume her as it has me. I want to corrupt her, as just these thoughts of her have corrupted me.
This could all happen. The only thing that separates her from heaven and hell is the fact that she's dating a fucking ghost.
I continue my lesson. The books don't move. My imagination rolls in bed with her, but she's still on the edge of my bed giving me that look. And her soul is safe...for now.
I have her where I want her, but I know I'll never get her.
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Hey there mis amigos! Long time no write...I just felt like it. Sorry I haven't been around much. In case you didn't notice this is another Paul POV. I hope you enjoyed it. I had to write it on Notepad because I just downloaded XP and don't have Word yet. Haha, aren't I stupid? But at least my computer doesn't crash anymore. It feels strange writing again after it has been so long. I just randomly felt like it today...this is just a one shot nothing fancy. Like it or love it, whatever. It doesn't really have a plot...just some thoughts, whatever. I miss you guys.
Love ya lotses,
Hayley