I was sure I'd already posted thsi one, but apparently not.
So thankyou toall the people who reviewed, I love you all!
It was 6.45 on Friday night and House was lurking behind a pillar at the local movie theatre wearing a trucker hat pulled down low and a large pair of dark glasses. According to Wilson, who had been dragged along for the ride, his disguise just made him stand out more than he already did, plus it wasn't hard to recognize the cane (although House reasoned that his friend might just be saying that because he was annoyed that House wouldn't tell him why he was in disguise.)
Wilson stood about a metre away from House's hiding place, apparently pretending not be with the tall, strangely dressed old man.
"House, come on! We only have 15 minutes an we need to get tickets, plus if we want candy-"
House interrupted.
"We don't want candy. We have to stay inconspicuous, candy is too obvious.
Wilson sighed, obviously getting annoyed.
"But why? I might go along with this plan of yours, if you'd just tell me what it is! Just tell me why we have to be-"
This time House hadn't butted in, Wilson had stopped of his own accord.
"Ha!" He let out a loud noise, which House presumed was supposed to be a laugh, but sounded more like the bark of an injured dog.
"Shhh!" House hissed.
"You're spying on her?" Wilson whispered, apparently shocked. "House, your interest in your employees social life is very disturbing, and anyway this plan is ludicrous!"
"So is everything I do." Was House's only response.
"But normally you have a reason! Normally it saves lives! Now you're just curious, there's no reason, unless-" He paused.
"Unless, what?" House asked.
Both men turned to look at the subject of their conversation who was wearing low-rider jeans, a red top and was accessorizing with a tall sandy-haired mans arm draped around her shoulder casually. The sandy haired man leaned in and whispered something in her ear, she giggled and House's blood boiled.
"Unless what?" He snapped again.
"You, you like her?" Wilson questioned, the look on his face suggesting Christmas had come early, well maybe not Christmas, he was Jewish after all.
"Yes." Said House, trying to sound off hand as if what he had just said was of little importance.
"Really?" Wilson was not just short of shouting, but only a few decibels short. House reached out an arm from behind the pillar and pulled Wilson into hiding. Peering furtively out of his sanctuary he looked at Cameron, bother her and the man had looked around at the sound of Wilson's non-shout.
"Shhh!" House hissed. "Yes really, now shut it! You're just here so I don't look like a lonely old man out at the movies on his own. You don't need to talk to fill that requirement, so zip it!"
Glancing around the pillar again, he watched Cameron and her boyfriend show the clerk their tickets and disappear down the corridor. He grabbed his friend's arm, he dragged him over to the ticket booth where he pulled out a piece of paper and asked for two tickets to see,
"Curious George?" Wilson asked reading over House's shoulder. "You realize that's a monkey movie, right?"
House's eyes widened "Like King Kong? Cool!"
Wilson sighed. "No, like little-kids-animated-monkey-adventure-story movie."
"Excuse me sir? Would you still like to purchase two tickets? Or would you like to choose another viewing?" The pimply teen behind the window had probably had to learn that phrase of a script.
"Sure, go ahead, I'll get the tickets." House replied dejectedly.
"And where would you like your seats to be located?" Probably another phrase taken word for word from a book somewhere. The teen half expected the two men to choose front seats, front row probably, they seemed like the sort of childish men who would throw popcorn at the screen.
"Back." House stated surely, "Back row if possible."
The teen looked shocked, he shifted his gaze between the two men.
"Um, you realize it's a family movie? There will be young children in there!"
Wilson instantly turned Barbie-pink, but House just smirked.
"Younger than you-" He looked at the teens name badge, "Chaz? I didn't know that was possible! And anyway, what my boyfriend and I get up to in the cinema is none of your concern, you're just here to sell the tickets."
Chaz nodded and handed over the tickets before hurrying the two men away, forgetting to charge them,
"Cool!" House exclaimed, "Free movie tickets!"
They made their way straight past the confectionary stands, although Wilson said after the embarrassment House had just put him through he should really be allowed some candy, and went straight into the screen and sat at the back.
"We won't be able to see from here!" Wilson complained, if he'd known anything of House's plan he would have stayed at home by himself, and it would probably have been a lot more fun.
"Firstly, we can see exactly what we are here to see," House said pointing at where Cameron and 'Danny-boy were sitting a few rows forward and a bit to the left, just out of earshot. "And secondly, do you really want to watch the animated monkey movie?"
The movie itself was rather boring, although Cameron and Dan seemed to enjoy it, laughing loudly, cuddled up over their popcorn, so House amused himself by picking bits of popcorn of the floor and awarding himself different amounts of points depending on which bits of Dan he could hit, then forcing Wilson down with him as they ducked when Dan turned around.
They escaped the minute the credits began to roll, but before they could leave House had to duck into the little boys room, claiming he 'Couldn't ride the bike on a full tank.'
As Wilson waited outside for him, Cameron walked out of the screening room, spotted him and made her way over to talk.
"James! Hi!"
"Alison! Good to see you!"
Acting was not one of his strong points and he was having to try very hard to put on a shocked face.
Inside the room House had his ear pressed up against the door. He'd called her Alison. Wilson had called Cameron by her first name. How he yearned to do that.
"Oh right, James, this is Dan, he's…" she appeared to stumble on her words at this point, unsure of what to say next. "He's an old friend, and Dan, this is James, he works with me at the hospital."
House's leg was cramping from leaning awkwardly against the door, and he couldn't quiet reach his happy pill. Plus all he'd found out was that Dan was an 'old friend'. One with benefits though, judging by the phone calls.
"Ally, can you excuse me for a second? Nature calls." Dan said, gesturing towards the toilet door.
"Sure."
Being a cripple, House couldn't move away from the door fast enough, and was sent sprawling onto the floor as it opened. He almost cried out in agony, but luckily Cameron didn't see as she was facing the other way. Dan rushed over to check that House was OK.
"Dammit." House thought, "He's a gentleman too!"
Meanwhile outside the toilet, Cameron and Wilson were making awkward convocation.
"So are you here on your own?" Cameron asked, looking around as if she expected to see his date magically appear out of nowhere.
"Yeah, since my divorce I've been spending a lot of time on my own. I used to think I went to House's place to get away from my wives, but now I think I got married to get away from House!"
Cameron laughed politely, wondering why Dan was taking so long.
"Dude! I'm sorry! Are you alright?" he asked anxiously.
"Yeah, I'm fine, absolutely hunky-dory!" House growled in response.
"Dude, I said I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to be there. I don't generally have to knock before going into public toilets! Look, my friend's outside, she's a doctor-"
"No!" House interjected quickly, "I'll live!"
"Right." Dan helped the older man up, puzzled at how someone could be in so much pain one second, but apparently fine with the mention of a doctor.
"Well, sorry again man." He said before exiting quickly. He got outside and said "There's a man in there, I accidentally pushed him over and he seems to be in bad pain, maybe you should check it out?" He asked Cameron.
Her face instantly became a mask on sincere worry and sympathy. She went to open the door, but Wilson jumped in first.
"I'll go! It's the men's toilet after all!"
She smiled gratefully, before her and Dan headed off.
"What happened?" Wilson asked his friend who was sitting on one of the sinks, gripping his thigh in pain.
"Idiot pushed me over with the door!"
Wilson didn't bother asking why House had been standing behind the door.
"Are you going to be able to drive?" he asked instead.
"No, you'll have to." He said, holding out the key to his bike.
"No way! I'll call a cab!"
House smirked.
"Good, do you really think I'd trust you with my baby?"
It was Wilson's turn to smirk then "In that case," He began, before snatching the key out of House's hand, "Maybe I'll take you up on that offer."