Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men. Please don't sue me or steal my story.
IMPORTANT NOTE: (1) through (4) are references to/quotes from the three part High Evolutionary story arc, in particular Uncanny X-Men #380: Heaven's Shadow by Alan Davis (plot) and Terry Kavanagh (script).
NOTE II: This story was a challenge winner at Nightscrawlers!
Barnell
By Rowena
It was the first warm day of spring. Kurt Wagner was taking a stroll through the mansion's grounds when he spotted a stranger lounging on the grass. Curious, Kurt changed direction and walked over to him.
"Good afternoon!" he smiled. "I don't believe I've seen you here before. My name is Kur—"
"Kurt Wagner," the man interrupted, jumping to his feet with a broad, amused grin. "Yeah, we've met."
Kurt furrowed his brow, confused. "We have?"
"You bet." The man chuckled. "I'm Barnell Bohusk! Though you might know me better as Beak."
Kurt started. "Beak?" he blinked, unable to keep his jaw from falling as he stared at the man before him. From his hair to his shoes, he looked completely average—nothing at all like the awkward, feathered mutant he had seen around the mansion. Kurt shook his head in flabbergasted amazement. "Mein Gott…"
"It is pretty incredible, isn't it," Barnell grinned happily. "It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to us—that is, to me and my wife, Angel."
"Incredible is hardly the word," Kurt said, still working through his astonishment. "How did this happen? Don't tell me it was—"
"M-Day?" Barnell interrupted, too eager to explain to wait for Kurt to finish his thought. "It sure was! When reality snapped back from wherever it'd gone, Angel and I found we'd lost our mutant powers! I mean, look at me!" he said, spreading out his arms and turning full circle. "Isn't it great? No more molting on the furniture, no more clicking beak! For the first time since I was a little kid, I can actually sink my teeth into a hamburger, not to mention being able to kiss my wife and kids. It's fantastic!"
Kurt nodded thoughtfully, unable to suppress a small smile at Barnell's excitement. "Well, I'm happy for you, mein Freund," he said, shaking the man's hand.
"Yeah, thanks," Barnell beamed. "But it is kind of a weird coincidence, don't you think? That we'd lose our mutations just before that movie came out in theaters—the one about a 'mutant cure'?"
"Oh, I don't know," Kurt shrugged. "People have been trying to find a so-called 'cure' since before the discovery of the X-Gene. It's hardly a new idea."
Barnell shot him a curious look. "Say, Kurt," he said, "where would you stand?"
"How do you mean?"
"You know, like in the movie. If they really did find a cure for mutancy, would you take it?"
"Nein." Kurt answered firmly and without hesitation. "I am content as I am."
"But think about it for a minute—" Barnell pressed.
"I don't have to," Kurt said. "I lost my mutancy once, six years ago. It was the most miserable time of my life."
"No way!" Barnell exclaimed. "I didn't know that!"
"Ja, well," Kurt shrugged. "It all started back in April of 2000. Herbert Edgar Wyndham, a brilliant geneticist who called himself the High Evolutionary, proclaimed that mutantkind represented 'an unacceptable threat' to 'the genetic potential of the world and its people' and that, as a consequence, we all had to be eliminated. Working together with Nathaniel Essex, better known as Sinister, he 'de-evolved' us into normal humans. Wyndham thought he was doing good, but in the end he realized he'd been duped by Essex. The change back was painful, but it was more than worth it to get back to normal." (1).
"Normal?" Barnell repeated with an incredulous smirk.
"Ja, that's right," Kurt frowned. "Normal doesn't necessarily mean conformity. The trauma of losing my mutations taught me that. You see, I long ago reconciled and accepted who I was. The biological conversion I underwent was nothing more than a superficial cosmetic change, and the cost of that change was far too high for me." (2).
Barnell shook his head. "No, I don't see it that way," he said. "It's way more than a cosmetic change. People look at me differently now. I look at myself differently. For the first time in a long, long time, I feel comfortable with who and what I am. Can you look in the mirror and honestly tell me you feel the same way?"
"I can now," Kurt told him, "But at the time, I was ready to give up my ability to teleport, to accept the loss as a relatively minor inconvenience, sacrificed for the greater peace Wyndham had proposed. But the unique spatial awareness that came with it, as well as my mutant agility and stamina—my speed and strength—were all facets of my being that I had taken for granted. Without them, I was not the same man at all. That is what the High Evolutionary did not seem to understand—that it was our nature to be mutants. It is impossible to be 'cured' of what we were born to be." (3).
Barnell snorted a little. "Hey, if you say so," he said. "As for me, I'd rather lose my powers than look like an escapee from Darkwing Duck for the rest of my life. And even though Angel's not a big talker, I know for sure she's glad to be rid of those bug wings of hers."
"If your transformation has made you happy, I am hardly one to argue," Kurt said. "But I have to ask, now that you and your wife are no longer mutants, what do you plan to do?"
Barnell smiled. "We're still figuring that out," he said. "Right now, we're looking for a bigger house, and we're scoping out a few schools for the kids. Tito's still going to be attending classes here, of course. He's the only one of us who retained his powers after M-Day."
"Ah, so that is why you were waiting here," Kurt realized. "You are waiting for your son to get out of school."
"Got it in one," Barnell grinned. He checked his watch. "Oops—and I've got less than two minutes to get to the door before the bell rings!"
Kurt glanced over his shoulder to the broad expanse of grass lying between them and the mansion. "I could 'port you there, if you like," he offered.
"Oh, no—no thank you!" Barnell shook his head with a smile. "Since losing my mutant metabolism, I've found I get motion sickness really easily. (4) Thanks for the offer though, Kurt!"
"Well, I suppose I will see you around, then."
"Yeah, that'd be great," Barnell grinned, starting off across the grass with a wave. "And thanks for the chat, Kurt! I'm glad I finally got a chance to talk with you!"
Kurt waved back, then continued on his stroll through the grounds. After three or four steps, however, he stopped short, his tail twitching as a sudden shiver crept up his spine. So many mutants had lost their powers on M-Day, so many lives had been unalterably changed, and it was sheer luck that he had not been counted among them. Taking a few deep breaths to clear that disturbing thought from his mind, Kurt glanced over to the ball field, where a small group of students were gathering for a game now that classes were out for the day. With a mischievous smile,the fuzzy, blue mutantfocused on the pitcher's mound and vanished in a BAMF of swirling smoke.
The End
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