'... Then I put my gloves on and waved to Ellen. She waved back and so did little Maggie, whom she was holding in her arms. That girl's eyes remind of my mother so much. I wonder how Ben is doing. Last time I saw him was on Christmas. He gave me a wallet he stitched himself. I carry it everywhere with me.' Maggie smiled to herself and wiped a tear away from her eye. She got up from the couch and put another log into the fireplace. The wind was howling loudly. She picked up a blanket and started to sit down to continue reading, when loud knock on the door startled her. Who could that be?
She put her leg two inches from the door, so that it wouldn't get blown in. Then she opened the door to see "Ben! Oh God, come inside!" She let Fraser and Dief in. The wolf voiced a complaint about his master, using words that would usually bring him quite a reprimand. This time however his Alfa was too busy trying to help Maggie close the door behind them. When they finally managed, Maggie looked at him with a frown. "Did you walk from the airport?" he nodded along "In this weather. It's twelve kilometers. Why in Gods name would you do that?"
"Well no one seemed to be going to town. I thought I would try to get here before the storm started. I didn't think it would get as bad as that so quickly." Fraser said dumping his backpack next to the fireplace, and started to get rid off the layers of clothing and snow that were surrounding him.
Maggie put some water in the kettle and set it on the stove. She took his parka and coat from him. "Hi." she said finally.
Fraser laughed. "Hi. Good to see you." he gave her a bear hug.
"So... what have I done to deserve this how pleasant surprise visit?"
"I took a vacation and decided to visit family." he lied. At least he didn't tell the whole truth. Which was quickly commented by Diefenbaker as he glanced away with dismay.
Maggie looked at Diefenbaker, then at her brother. "I am glad." she said simply.
Inspector Margaret Thatcher was annoyed. She understood that Fraser had full right to use the time off that he was eligible to, but he could have given her a warning in advance. He accumulated quite a lot of sick days and vacation. If he wanted to use them all at once, she would be in deep trouble and right now that seemed to be his plan. Transferring some of Fraser's responsibilities on Constable Michevski only seemed to make situation worse. She actually had to ask Renfield to come and help her. She hated having to hire babysitters.
So when a phone rang she barked into the receiver an unpleasant "Thatcher."
"Hello, Sir. It's Corporal Fraser."
"That better not be about requesting more time off, Fraser." she snapped at him.
"Well, actually, Sir. It sort of is. I have a personal emergency. I am currently at my sisters place and there aren't any flights out for next three days..."
"Personal emergency?" she never heard him use this two words next to each other.
"Er, yes, sir."
"Are you in some sort of trouble Fraser?" the worry overcame the annoyance.
After some time Ben replied "I'm in no position for immediate physical damage, Sir."
Which in his mouth means 'yes'. "Fine Fraser. You can come back next Monday. But that's it. Nothing more."
"Understood. Thank you kindly, Sir."
Francesca waited at the gate for the passengers to start coming out. She would be late for work because of that. Like her brother coming up from Florida was going to change something. But she couldn't talk him out of it. So she was picking him up from the first flight he was able to get himself onto.
"Ray!" she exclaimed happily upon seeing him. "I am glad to see you." they hugged each other.
"I am glad to see you too, Frannie." replied Italian detective.
"Got any luggage?"
"Just that." said Ray pointing at the small suitcase in his hand.
"Okay, let's go. Do you want me to drop you at home?"
"No, I will go to the station with you. No discussion." he said when she started to protest.
"Why would I do that?" Kowalski all but screamed at Vecchio who took what usually was Fraser's seat in front of his desk.
"I can't explain it Kowalski. I have a hunch. It just doesn't seem right. Fraser doesn't do that kind of thing." Vecchio was really annoyed. If he was still a cop it would have been so much easier. Now he had to ask this annoying geek with experimental hair for help.
"With respect Vecchio, but a hunch of yours won't be enough." he said, mockery clear in his eyes. "Look. He is not missing. He called Frannie every day all the time since he left. Well, except for yesterday, but then he said he wouldn't call, and explained that he was going on some sort of trip in the wilderness. I talked to his sister, she said he is perfectly fine and healthy. He even checks in with Thatcher, despite that he is on vacation. He called me three times. And you want me to look for him."
"Yes." Vecchio said trying not to get annoyed. "Look, just trust me on this one, will you?"
"No way. Just no way. It's crazy. Fraser finally took vacation, he is getting some well deserved rest. He is in the wilderness. He went for a hike. Sure it's middle of winter, but for him it's nothing. He is in his element, gaining strength, that's what's happened."
"He didn't go there straight away. He flew there three days ago. Where was he for a week before that?" Vecchio was losing his patience with the Polish detective.
"How do you know that?"
"I've got friends."
"Oh, that's rich. That's just great. Does your sister know you're doing this? She actually asked you to track him down." Kowalski knew that Francesca would never do something that stupid. Fraser could get really sensitive if you showed him you didn't trust him. He couldn't even imagine how he would treat such a breach of trust from a girlfriend.
"That's none of your business." Vecchio snapped.
"Oh, but I think it is. Would you be pushing for that so hard if Fraser wasn't dating your sister?" Vecchio looked away. "I thought so. Look, I understand that she is upset that he didn't tell her where he was going. But that's their problem. Not yours. You come here and you think you know what's best for everybody."
Vecchio had enough. Kowalski was going way too far. "I just don't want my sister to get hurt." he slowly and tensely pronounced each word.
"Well why don't you lock her up somewhere and never let her out?" asked Ray with sarcasm.
Vecchio jumped out of his chair and had to stop himself from hitting Kowalski. He slammed his fist on the desk and stormed out. Once outside, he took out his cell phone and punched the number he still remembered after three years. "Jessie? Hi, it's Ray Vecchio... Yeah, long time... Well, actually, I need a favor..."
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, Fraser couldn't see a single cloud around, the visibility was hundreds of miles. The dry, cold air was steady on this side of the mountain, but he knew that once he reached the pass there would be a great wind up there. He was slowly reaching his destination. About a hundred meters from the pass itself he noticed the group of rocks he was looking for. He slowly approached them and found the one which was marked by a large, red piece of cloth. He put it there himself many years ago, so that he could find the place if he wanted to.
He looked around. "Ah. That's where I stuck my rifle to make the lean to." he said pointing at the crack between the rocks he was standing on. Diefenbaker let out a whine of dissatisfaction. "No. It's just something I felt I had to do. Besides, you're really soft nowadays. A long hike like that is really good for you. Now, I brought food for myself, but you have to go and hunt." Dief stared at him with disbelief. He let out a growl clearly indicating he didn't find that joke amusing. "Oh, so if something is not prepackaged, you're not able to catch it? Perhaps I should leave you here in the wilderness." Two sharp barks indicated clearly that as long as the wolf had anything to say in the matter, he would live in Chicago. "Watch your language. Alright, let's set up a camp."
"You're unhinged." Kowalski couldn't believe his ears. "I could arrest you for that. Actually I should arrest you for that. And whomever it is that got you this information from."
"Just try. You want to focus here, or what? Fraser rented a car."
"So?"
"Have you ever seen him drive?" Vecchio asked sarcastically.
"What are you saying? That he will cause accident by driving to slow? He went to Canada. Remember? They're all like that there."
"You think he drove all the way to Fort Simpson? I am not even sure they have roads up there."
"That's because you're so ignorant. Of course they do."
"And how would you know that?"
"Because I drove up there last summer."
Vecchio was really surprised at this development. "You did?"
"Yes."
The curiosity took over his anger caused by the need of requesting help from the Polish detective. "What did you do that for?"
"None of your business." Ray snapped.
"Okay, okay. Touchy. Anyway, that's not the point. I tracked his credit card usage. He didn't go north, he went east. Last he used his credit card, he was in Detroit."
"So? It's on the border, isn't it? Probably he used his Canadian credit card once he crossed the border. Why are you even telling me this anyway? I'm not interested in spying on my friends. I'm normal."
"I can't... I can't track him down any further. And if he was indeed going by car to Fort Simpson he wouldn't go to Detroit. I want you to track his phone calls." Vecchio clearly didn't like asking for help.
Kowalski stared at Vecchio with disgust. "You know Vecchio, I have newly found respect for Stella."
Do not hit him. Do not hit him. Do not hit him. Ray looked down, calmed his breath. "I will let that pass, given you're a frustrated ex-husband." He smiled inwardly at the look he got in return. "Look. I have a feeling that's got something to do with Victoria."
"Victoria?" Kowalski thought for a couple seconds. "Oh, that case when shot Fraser when he was in pursuit of the suspect who tried to frame him. What about it?"
Now it was Ray's turn to stare in disbelief. "He never told you about it, did he? You just read the file, didn't you?"
"Yeah. What's more to tell?"
"Let me buy you lunch, Kowalski. Please, just come. Don't give me hard time over this. I will tell you a story."
Fraser put the axe back in it's place in the barn outside of Maggie's house. He went back inside. "I chopped some wood for you."
"Mmm..." That simple sound seemed to be Maggie's equivalent of Fraser's 'Ah.'
"I figured I could do something for you, since I am staying here. You feed me. And more importantly you feed Diefenbaker." he gave the wolf a stern look.
"You know you can come here whenever and you don't have to do anything. And thank you very much for chopping the wood." Fraser was staying at her place for five days already. He was flying out a day after tomorrow and still didn't come even close to mentioning what made him run away couple thousand miles to get some rest. This required some diplomacy. "Perhaps I should sharpen the axe?"
"Why? I think it's perfectly sharp. Well taken care of. It would speak of the owner in superlatives only, should axes speak one day."
"Oh, then I should definitely want to keep it that way. To have it perfect. Given that you just spent ten hours chopping the wood, which by the way I expect to be enough to last me at least until September, I suppose it lost a bit of it's touch." Maggie had a look of perfectly blank expression.
"Ah." Two could play innocence game in that family. "In that case I will sharpen it for you tomorrow."
"How about dinner? I made a stew. I also went to work in the meantime, although I am not so sure you noticed, being so preoccupied. Working." They sat and ate in complete silence. After dinner Fraser cleaned the dishes while Maggie sat in her armchair in front of the fireplace and started reading a book. Ben soon joined her, took the couch and started to work on a sketch. "What are you drawing?"
"You."
"Oh?"
"Francesca pointed out to me that I am supposedly not bad at this... She really liked a sketch I did of her. So recently I started to draw. It's like a second hobby, after witting, I guess."
"Can I move?"
"Oh, yes. Of course. But it will be a bit blurry then." he couldn't completely hide a smile when he saw her face with left eyebrow raised high up. "Once upon a time there was this young Mountie living in the north of Canada. He was young and quite idealistic." Maggie closed her book and gave him her full attention. Diefenbaker opened one eye, but decided that it was nothing new so he went back to sleep. "Few years after joining the force he was sent to bring in a criminal. A wheelman, well, a wheelwoman in a bank robbery in Alaska. She escaped through the border on a plane. The pilot left her after the plane was forced down because of bad weather. She tried to escape through a mountain range, but she had no proper equipment, and a very big storm was about to hit."
"There are worse ways to die than hypothermia, you know. Hypothermia might actually be quite a nice one compared to many others than might await a bank robber." Maggie found it strange that Fraser would feel bad about something so beyond his control so many years later.
"Oh, she did survive." his sister was genuinely surprised. "The Mountie had found her and they kept each other warm. But the Mountie, idealistic that he was, didn't quite follow his duty. He fell in love, or at least so he thought. He never really loved someone before." Fraser paused for some time, concentrating on the line of her jaw. "The fifth night after he found her they camped just outside the town. He held her in her arms, kissed her fingers and lips and they lay there in silence. She asked him to let her go. No one knew her name, no one knew she was found. She could have walked away and come back after few months and they could have been together. But he brought her in." Ben realized that it's really difficult to draw a flickering fire. Amazed, he thought about that for a moment and then continued "Ten years later, after she got out of prison, she found the Mountie. He thought he had been given a second chance. She just wanted her revenge. It ended quite badly. She got away, after he let her go. He got shot in the back while he tried to escape with her. He carries the bullet inside him to this day."
"So that's how you got the scar near your spine?" Ben nodded. "But that's not the end of that story, is it?" this time he shook his head.
"The Mountie managed to piece his life back together. After some time he moved on. But he was still afraid. That she might still want more revenge. He didn't much care for himself, but he was afraid about the ones that were dear to him. So he found her." Fraser fell silent.
"And that happened about a week ago." it was a statement. Confirmed by a nod.
"It appears that while she wanted to take revenge and he was trying to get his second chance, they conceived a child. They have a daughter together. She is five, and is the most lovely thing on this planet. The former bank robber has a new life, including a husband." They sat in a heavy silence. "I see you don't want your sketch to be blurry. Indeed. That's good. Really nice. May I suggest a career as a model?"
She blinked and breathed again. Then closed her jaw. "You have a daughter."
"Yes."
"And you just found out about that."
"Yes."
"Well... that's... big. Big news."
"Yes." after a pause he added "But there is more to it. It gets worse..."
"Okay." Kowalski said slowly and let out a long sigh. "Assuming, against my better judgement, that you're telling the story how it was and not leaving anything out, I must say that I understand why you are behaving in such a bizarre way." He paused, took a sip of coffee and continued. "However Fraser is my friend. Even if he went to find Victoria, which I doubt, he committed no crime. He is actually doing his duty, pursuing a fugitive. Even if, and I don't believe that's possible at all, Fraser finds her and falls back in love with her, let it be. Frannie is for me like an adopted sister, but if Fraser would do something like that, then she'll be better of alone."
Vecchio looked out the window. "Kowalski, you don't understand. I'm not doing it for Frannie. Not entirely anyway. Fraser is my friend too. I'm worried about him. He's not himself around this woman. He's acting irrationally. He was going to throw out everything that mattered in his life for her. I'm worried he'll do something as stupid again." He looked down into his cup. "I'm not proud about that I'm worried for him more than I'm worried for Frannie. She's strong and she'll survive. But that woman has power to destroy Fraser. To destroy whom he is."
Kowalski was really surprised. That wasn't something he expected. "Vecchio, that was years ago. Fraser is older, wiser. He grew up. And if you're really worried about him, just talk to him. Call him. Don't track him down. If you have to, go up there. Look him in the eye. See what he says. But don't do anything behind his back." He paused for a moment to let the words sink in. "A real friend wouldn't."
Fraser's pencil was adding final touches to Maggie's hair. He finished telling the rest of the story quite some time ago and his sister didn't speak since.
"So you're planning to propose to a woman, whose family hates the mother of your only child. And to make it even worse, as if that wasn't enough, the mother is wanted for various crimes, including murder."
Ben thought about that for a moment. "As far as I know, Ray has never told the whole story to his family. I certainly haven't." he paused for a moment considering whether what he wanted to say would account for his insanity or not. He decided to go with it anyway. "On a bright side in four years she will be left only with the murder. There rest of the charges will be void by the statute of limitations. And if I don't testify against her, the charges for murder have no chance of sticking. There is nothing else to even place her at the scene of the crime. Actually, now that I think about it, without my testimony, it's very unlikely she would be convicted for anything."
If possible, Maggie was shocked even more than before. "Ben, you are an officer of the law. How could you possibly think of that. It's perjury."
"No, not really. It's what Americans call 'pleading the Fifth' I believe. Should I testify against Victoria, it would incriminate me to some extent." Two pairs of eyes bore into him. "If I was given a choice between putting a mother of my child in jail, again, most probably endangering well being of my family at the same time, and forsaking my duty towards justice... I don't know what I would do. And I don't intend to find out."
Maggie thought about it for a while. "You already chose the latter if she's not imprisoned and awaiting trial right now." Harsh words made Fraser wince. "You know, before I met you I've heard about your father, well, our father, a lot. And I thought he was always acting by the book. But now that you told me about him and when I'm reading his journals, I know that wasn't the case. Maybe you're just like that. Are you fine with that whole situation?"
"Our father said that duty is in your heart. I don't love Victoria any more. I might hate her, despise her. But I don't love her. However, tell me, how can I not love my own daughter?"
Maggie stared at the sketch Fraser made of her. He sure knows his way around the pencil. she thought. A loud triple knock brought her back to reality. She didn't expect visitors, especially not that late, and she finally convinced her brother to stop knocking and feel at home. He wasn't supposed to be back for at least another hour anyway. She came to the door and opened it a bit. A bold, middle-aged man was standing outside, with a look in his eye conveying a message that standing where he was right here and now was his idea of eternal punishment. "May I help you?"
"Yeah. Hi. Maggie Mackenzie?"
"Yes."
"I'm Ray Vecchio." she looked him critically from head to toe. "The REAL Ray Vecchio." They stood there in silence for a moment. "May I come in or something?"
"Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry." She opened the door and let him inside. "Are you looking for my brother?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, I am." he said and started to get rid of the many layers of clothing he was wearing. "Where is he?"
"Oh, he took Dief for a walk. He should be back in an hour or so. Did something happen?"
"Yeah, something happened. Your brother run away without telling anyone where he was going. That includes leaving my sister out of it, the woman whom he is supposedly serious about." Sarcasm was leaking from between his words.
"As far as I know he kept in touch with everyone. Including your sister, naturally. As a matter of fact I've heard him speak with her today." Maggie had a feeling that wasn't going to be an easy conversation. She was hoping that Ray's abilities in detecting a lie weren't as good as hers. "What's wrong with taking vacation? I doubt that Frannie is the kind of person to hike through the mountains of the Northwest, especially in the winter. No offense intended."
"None taken. So when did your brother come visit?"
The conversation was getting out of Maggie's hands. Vecchio's visit put her in some trouble. She didn't know whether she was supposed to be Ben's cover story. However uneasy she would feel about that. "He came six days ago. I think. Why?"
"Oh, no reason. Do you happen to know where he was before that?"
"No. Not really. I tend to treat my guests differently then my prisoners." Vecchio gave her a blank look. "Meaning I don't interrogate them." Ray winced. Such sharp statement was completely out of character for her. Not that she wasn't capable. It didn't take much to have a sharp tongue. It took much more not to have it, if one could. Should Vecchio knew Maggie at all, he would know she was trying to hide something. But he didn't, so it worked as she predicted. He stopped questioning her and apologized. "Think nothing of it." She gave him a pleasant smile.
"So where did Fraser go?"
"Oh, he is walking on the river."
"You mean along the river."
"No. I mean on the river. The Liard River, to be exact. It's few hundred yard to the East from here."
"On the river? Look, where I come from you need Pope's permission for that kind of thing." Ray tried to joke. Not even a shadow of a smile appeared on Maggie's face.
"Well, Mr. Vecchio, here, where I come from, it's enough to wait until the river freezes."
Ray stepped out of the boreal forest onto a beach. Or on something that probably could serve as a beach during the months were the river was actually a river, not a block of frozen ice meandering through hundreds of miles of the wilderness. A boat was taken out of the water, and put on the shore. He took the view in front of him in awe. The other bank was about a mile away, covered with trees. It was magnificent panorama. He looked down. There were footprints all over the place. But it'd been snowing in the morning and wind was very calm. Which essentially reduced what Vecchio was looking at to a lot of hardly visible foot marks and two fresh trails. One of size ten boots and one of paws, which Ray knew belonged to a wolf. He was no trapper, but typical New Yorker who never left Manhattan could have figured this one out. He followed Fraser's trail, which took him North.
Fraser was sitting on a log that Maggie carried over there some months ago. Ice-fishing. Diefenbaker, who was lying at his feet got up, looked behind him and gave a bark. Ben turned around. There was a figure approaching them. It was couple hundred meters away. He squinted and recognized the figure. "Oh dear."
Vecchio finally reached the solitary man, fishing in the middle of the frozen river. Ben got up. "Hello, Benny!" said Ray with a genuine smile.
"Ray!" they gave each other a bear hug. "It's good to see you. Care for a seat?" he said pointing to a second log, which he brought here yesterday himself, when he went fishing together with Maggie.
Ray set down. "So, how are you?"
Ben looked at him trying to figure out what could have caused his friend to visit. "I'm good. Very good. Enjoying my vacation as you can see." Ray nodded along. "You came all the way here..." he paused waving his arm slowly around, indicating their surroundings. They were sitting in the middle of Mackenzie River, where Liard River flew into it, over a mile to the nearest shore. In the middle of frozen rivers. Ice-fishing. "To ask me that?" He hesitated for a moment. "Of course you're more than welcome. I do enjoy company. Dief and I ran out of topics to discuss for today."
"No, Fraser. I came here, because I'm concerned."
"Concerned about what, Ray?"
"About you. About Frannie. About you and my sister." He put up a hand before Fraser started to say that everything was fine. "Fraser, we both know that you're behaving... in an unusual way to say the least. Even for you. You tell my sister everything. You're practically a textbook example of a relationship. And suddenly all the secrets." He paused for a moment. "You know, my mind reminds me immediately of a certain woman. Certain situations. You know what I'm talking about?" Fraser considered his options. Playing dumb or innocent will work only in a short run anyway. He nodded. "So. Is it about Victoria?"
"No." It's not a lie. It's about Caroline and Francesca. And even if you factor Her in, it was about Monica, not Victoria. He managed to keep his face straight, pulse constant, controlled his jaw and eyes. Watching liars helped becoming one. Apparently. I'm not lying. Not technically anyway.
"Alright. Would you care to tell me where you've been last week?"
Fraser considered his options. Making something up was most probably not going to work. Ray probably asked Maggie the same question already. But what did she answer? Would she lie for him? World was so complicated once you allowed one lie to enter your life... "I would prefer not to. If you don't mind. It's personal."
"Personal." Fraser nodded. "But it's not about Victoria?" Fraser shook his head and held Ray's gaze. Either it's really not her, or he is a very good liar. Could he have learnt to lie so well? Well, personal or not, that was his sister that was of concern here. Maybe he should shake Fraser up a bit. "You know, Frannie misses you. She decided to keep herself busy. She thought it might have been a nice gesture to clean your apartment. Maybe add some things there. As a gift, you know. So that you actually had some furniture." It wasn't the best day for irony. He got no reaction from Fraser. "So she cleaned your place real nice. Rearranged things in your drawers..." he paused. Watching expressions change on Fraser's face would have been pure pleasure, if that whole thing didn't concern his sister. Mild general interest. A slight annoyance. But then no man liked his girlfriend to clean his apartment. Not even the-most-tolerant-man-in-the-world Fraser. The annoyance slowly turned into realization and then very soon to pure horror.
"She didn't..."
"Oh, yes she did. And now she's freaking out. She thinks you're out here thinking things over. Thinking whether or not she's worth you." He stopped Fraser before he spoke. "I know. I know. You would never even consider such a thought. And on some level she knows that too. But by now her mind is far, very far from using logical reasoning. She's nearly panicking Fraser. And she is acting her ass off not to show anything in front of you."
Fraser stared at the horizon. Something got caught. The line was being pulled down. Soon the fishing rod had a new owner, who more probably than not, lacked abilities and equipment to use it. Fraser hadn't noticed. "I guess I should go back to Chicago." Ray nodded along. "As soon as possible." Ray kept nodding along. "And talk to Francesca. Very soon."
"Good idea, Fraser. A very good idea."
Fraser stood in front of the Vecchio house. He was wearing jeans, a sweater and a leather jacket. He was sure his thermometer must had been lying. He felt like it was a summer, nowhere close to five Celsius shown by the device. A whine came from below.
"Sh... When I'm ready." he replied to the wolf. His hand went up, and a thumb passed over an eyebrow for tenth time in the last two minutes. Finally the hand managed to form a fist and produce the very tricky sound of Knock On The Door.
He took a deep breath. The door opened and he was welcomed by Ma Vecchio. Within seconds he was inside and somehow the jacket was off his shoulders. He managed to retrieve it back from her hands politely finally he said something. "Hello, Mrs. Vecchio. It's good to see you."
"You won't come in? We are having dinner in a minute." Ma seemed confused. Francesca came out and a smile lit her face as she saw Fraser. She hurried over and gave him a kiss and a hug. He pulled away.
"Actually, I just came over to see Francesca, Mrs. Vecchio." he said to Ma. "I need to talk to you." he continued to Frannie. Fraser had never broken up with anyone, so he didn't know the meaning of certain phrases. Frannie's knees went weak. "Could we perhaps go for a walk, Francesca?"
"Of course." she said very quietly. Her mother gave her a worried look. "Ma, I will... I will just be out." She took her coat. They stepped outside in silence. Fraser offered her his arm. She took it reluctantly. You won't cry. You will NOT cry.
Fraser saw her unease and reluctance and wanted to ask whether something is wrong, but stopped himself before he opened his mouth. He knew something was wrong. He knew what. Francesca found the ring. And then she freaked out. And now she was worried. "Francesca, I have to confess something."
Oh, God. He didn't... cheat on me, did he? He would never do that. Out loud she just asked "What's that?"
"It will sound absolutely strange. And if you
don't want to see me ever again I will understand." He realized
this didn't sound
like an optimistic beginning, but he learned not to
try to make it better by explaining and starting over. Somehow it
made things worse and people were getting annoyed when he did that.
He never understood why. So instead he just went on. "I've
discovered a... skeleton in my closet so to say. Well,
metaphorically, of course. There's some secret in my past... that I
can't tell you about. And I would... Oh dear. Well, I have to tell
you about it, but I can't tell you what is it. So what I'm saying is
that I have a secret from you, which I have to keep a secret. And I
can't tell you what is it. But I have to ask you to be okay with it."
Francesca stared at him blankly. What? "Could you go over that one more time?"
"Certainly." Frannie often wondered whether Fraser really didn't notice sarcasm other people used or if he just perfectly mastered pretending not to notice it, in order to avoid small, stupid fights with her and to get what he wanted from others. "To sum up. I have a secret. From the past. I can't tell you what it is. And I would like you to accept it. Oh, and also for you keep it a secret yourself."
"That shouldn't be difficult, should it? Given you can't tell me what is it."
"Well, it's more complicated. I also need you to keep it secret that you know about the secret. Or rather that you know that there is a secret to know about in the first place."
Francesca sighed. All in all it could have went much worse. Fraser didn't seem to be breaking up with her. He was just trying to tell her something. She just needed to guess what it was. "Okay. Let's see. This secret of yours. Did you kill someone or something?" Fraser shook his head. "Have you got a secret wife?" Fraser shook his head again. "Are you a Russian spy?" Another shake. "You've got a child you didn't know about?" Fraser hesitated. And that was it. You couldn't lie to someone you wanted to marry, it was unforgivable. Something you couldn't built on. So he hesitated. But even that was enough. Francesca stopped in her tracks right there. "Oh my God." She stared at him in disbelief. "I was just joking. You're not serious are you? Because it's not funny. Not funny at all." But she knew that joke like that was totally not like Fraser. He didn't do things like that. "You are serious..." She settled for staring at him with her mouth open.
Ben considered his options. He really didn't want to admit anything. By now he didn't have to. Francesca knew him quite well. He didn't have a complicated personality when it came to that sort of thing. In a way he was relieved. He told her without actually telling her. Now all he had to do was to find out how she felt about it. "Francesca." He said softly. He got her attention. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course." The response was automatic. If you couldn't trust Benton Fraser, whom could you trust?
"I need to know. I have a secret." He looked at her meaningfully. They both knew what he meant and Frannie seemed to get he didn't want to say that out loud, although she wasn't sure why. "And sometimes, I might be out of town. For a few days. And I won't be telling you where I'll be going. And I'll ask you not even to tell anyone that I left. Do you trust me enough to be able to live with it?"
Francesca looked into his eyes. She hesitated. "What about the mother? Can you tell me anything about that mother?" Fraser didn't move, he just looked deeply into her eyes. Frannie got the message. "No. I will just know you have a child. And that you will be visiting her or him sometimes. And no one is supposed to know about it, yes?" This time Ben gave he a slight nod. She looked at him carefully. An understanding drawn on her. He is asking me this, because he wants to propose. He's coming clean as much as he can and he's doing it up-front. I could probably try to guess the mother. He would start denying the names and then just wouldn't deny one of them because he wouldn't lie to me. He would 'fall' for that again, I'm sure. The list wouldn't be long. But it wouldn't be fair. She looked down slightly embarrassed at her own thoughts. She thought about it for a moment. What if it's THAT woman? She started to open her mouth to ask, but hesitated. She changed her mind and instead asked "Can I trust you that much?"
"Yes." Fraser was absolutely sure of that.
Francesca smiled. How could I question this man? Whom could I trust if not him? She reached up with her hand and caressed his cheek. She leaned in and kissed him softly and tenderly on the lips. "I do trust you, Benton."
Fraser stood in front of the door. "You're sure about this?" a bark confirmed Diefenbaker's opinion. "Yes. But it's just intuition. You're being unreasonable." The wolf rolled his eyes. They've been over this already. Four times. "You can't smell that sort of thing. It's just not possible. There is nothing that could have told you the future events. Even if they were relatively close in the future." Dief just stared at Ben. Fraser looked closely. Is he raising an eyebrow? No, that's just silly. "Alright. I'll trust your sense of smell. Just this once." Diefenbaker's head dropped. Ben could swear he heard a cough. He pressed the button with name 'Hazen' on it.
"Hello?" said a voice. It was male. Fraser didn't expect that, although on the second thought he should have.
"Er, it's Benton Fraser." he paused not sure what to say next. That was certainly a bit awkward situation. Especially given that he really didn't know what Victoria told her husband. But he seemed to get grasp the last time.
There was a longer pause, followed by an awkward throat clearing. "Er, please come up." They did.
Fraser walked up to the fourth level, despite the elevator. The door opened before he could knock. Matthew, who opened the door, was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. "Please come inside" he said stepping out of the way and extending a hand. Fraser shook it. "Monica isn't home. They went shopping with Caroline. I stayed, I had to finish the conference proposal, it's due at midnight."
"Oh. I'm really sorry to be disturbing then. I'll just come back another time." Ben was actually relieved. Fraser ranked any possible conversation with this man about nine and a half on the scale of awkwardness (with one being normal and ten being first meeting with parents of the girl that you married yesterday in Vegas).
"No. Please. I am almost finished. I was just typing the email and was about to press 'Send.' Monica and Caroline should be here in an hour or so. Would you like something to drink? Tea, coffee, juice, wine? I think we also have some beer?"
"I don't drink alcohol. Water would be just fine, thank you."
"Please come inside, take a sit." Matthew pointed to the couch. "Would your dog-" he was interrupted by a short, friendly bark and caught the glance Dief gave him "-sorry, wolf?... Okay, would your wolf like something?"
Fraser gave Dief a Look. "No, he is on a diet. But we appreciate the offer."
"Very well. I will be with you shortly." Matthew disappeared in the kitchen and then in the corridor that led to the rest of the apartment. He came back after couple minutes bringing Ben a glass of water with ice and a juice for himself. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Fraser felt that the ball was probably in his court, but Matthew spoke first. "I'm sort of 'cards on the table' kind of guy. So let me start and say what I've got to say. From what I've heard from Monica, and also from what I noticed, you're Caroline's father." Fraser nodded. "Monica also mentioned that you are in a serious relationship, just about to get engaged?"
"Yes, that's true."
"Well, I'm a man of reason. From what I've seen, as far as I can say, you were unaware that you had a child." Ben nodded again. He felt he knew where this was going and he really wished Victoria/Monica would come back already. "Which brings me to what I don't exactly understand, that is why did you come looking for her, if you were just about to get engaged with another woman?" Fraser didn't offer any answer. "Of course, it's private, and none of my business. Well, it sort of is, really. Monica said that's something between the two of you and that it belongs in the past. And that she couldn't really explain it to me."
"I'm afraid I won't be able to offer anything better... She put it very well, Mr. Hazen."
"Please, call me Matthew. Or Mat."
"Oh. Well. Thank you. Er, you should feel free to call me Benton, or Ben. But no one does that. Friends just call me Fraser, usually."
They both sipped their drinks. Mat picked up. "I should also probably warn you that Caroline sort of guessed you're her father. So... unless you're here to... well, if you wish to stay you should probably be ready to face her as one."
"That is my intention." Fraser voice was unusually filled with emotion.
"I'm glad." They didn't say anything for a moment. "She'll be celebrating her fifth birthday tomorrow, by the way. In case you would want to go last minute shopping or something."
Fraser gave Diefenbaker a curious glance. The wolf barked back 'I-told-you'. Ben shifted his attention back to Matthew. "No that's fine. My wolf..." He paused. Explaining to strangers about Diefenbaker never worked. One had to know the animal and have him save one's life once or twice before one could accept explanations like 'Diefenbaker smelled it' or 'This men is innocent. He uses different laundry detergent then the one Dief smelled at the scene of the crime.' Ben decided to go with logic. That never missed with people who Reasoned. "I've sort of figured that out, by counting so to speak. I didn't know the exact date of course-"
"It's March, the twentieth."
"-thank you. But I brought a gift with me."
Matthew thought for a moment. "I hope you wouldn't mind me asking what is it? It's just that we try to keep Caroline away from the kind of... mass-culture things, if you know what I mean? She doesn't have TV in her room, nor a computer, she doesn't get this Barbie kind of dolls, thin like a stick, wearing layers of make-up. I don't mean to influence you in any way of course..." he finished diplomatically.
Fraser smiled. That was going to work out just fine. "Don't worry about that, Matthew. It's a dream-catcher. It's sort of..."
"I know what is a dream-catcher. I specialize in Native American Archeology. Where did you get one? It's an interesting choice for a gift."
"Thank you. I was visiting my sister in the Northwest Territories, and a chief of a local Tsimshian tribe gave it to me, so that I could give it to Caroline, once he found out I have a child."
"A chief of Tsimshian tribe gave you a dream-catcher?" Mat asked with disbelief.
"Oh, yes. We're friends. I spent quite some time with his son, when we were growing up."
"You were born in the Northwest Territories?"
"Oh, yes..."
When Monica and Caroline entered the apartment forty five minutes later it took a reasonably loud cough to get the attention of two men who were fully engaged in the discussion of the Inuit culture and traditions.