Pink, Flowery Angst II
A Collection of Emo One-shots
Lament of a Harvest Sprite
"O-day ou-yay ow-knay ow-hay uch-may I uffer-say?"
The gnome gazed sadly at the cavern floor. He slid on his tiny red coat and pointy hat, just like he did every morning. His microscopic, elfish body was as weak as his spirit.
"Amn-day is-thay illage-vay!"
He was pissed. Why was the village constantly denying the existence of him and his brothers? They thought he was spawned by the high alcohol content of the bar's products. Hah! How could fools such as them imagine beings as magnificent as the Harvest Sprites? They were inferior beings to the divine sprites!
This sprite knew his place in the world was more important than that of humanity. He had to alert his brothers and sisters of their goal. The Harvest Sprite Rebellion of '06 was about to begin.
He easily slipped through the crack of the cave wall, only to find Jack crouching down to pick a mushroom. The farmer didn't check if it was poisonous before tossing it into his rucksack. The buyer would take it without checking and poison all the shipments it came in contact with, making humanity extinct in a matter of months should the pattern continue.
How dare Jack endanger their future slaves?
But this wasn't the sprite's only vendetta against Jack. No, there was more bad blood between the two.
"En-whay I-ay am-ay ing-kay, ou-yay ill-way e-bay irst-fay against-ay e-thay all-way."
---
"Ask-ay er-hay…" the sprite attempted to comfort himself. "On't-day un-ray…"
He saw Karen leaving the bar in the early morning, around four. He could barely see her, as the bar was the only building emitting any light. Nervously, the Harvest Sprite waddled over to her and extended a few Moondrop followers he had found in the mountains.
But she couldn't see him. And before the gnome could attract attention to himself, he saw Jack pull a blue feather from his pocket. Karen's face wasn't visible, but he could see her hand take it from Jack.
Jack…the astard-bay.
---
The gnome jumped at the farmer's leg without warning, sinking his infernal fangs into his flesh. Before Jack could release a "What the hell is that?" he was mobbed by additional creatures, eventually leading to his demise.
The Harvest Sprites all shared the misery of their leader. Together, with their mystical powers (consisting of Pig-Latin skills and breathing out small amounts of fire—enough to mildly irritate people) and sharp teeth, they could achieve their goal.
"O-nay one-ay ill-way and-stay in-ay our-ay ay-way!" he roared, breaking out of the cave and into the fields. "O-nay one-ay!"
Flowerbud Village had denied them too long. The elf-like beings were enraged, and there was no way they'd let them get away. None of the humans could stand up to them.
And that is why the citizens of Flowerbud are now ashamed to reveal their home, which is mockingly referred to by the outside world as "The place ruled by those weird-ass gnomes."
Comments:
Rule of Angst Number Three: Never doubt the second rule.
Harvest Sprite angst. What in God's name is wrong with me? No matter. Fight the power (Ight-fay e-thay ower-pay!) And no, I won't translate for the Sprites. Learn Pig Latin. Hate those Mineral Town sprites. "Buddum?" You must be joking.