Title: Moving On
Author: Nadia Mack
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I Own Nothing
Spoilers: Superman Returns film and novelization. Beware, I don't really hold back on spoilers here, and most of it is Lois/Superman related, so if you don't want to be spoiled for the film, don't you dare read this. Seriously. You've been warned. Btw, hbthomas, I would've uploaded this sooner but I was having issues with the site. I guess it's fixed now. lol
Summary: Sequel to Superman Returns.
After his nightly routine flight throughout the world, Superman finally decided to head back home. Upon landing, he changed into his regular clothing before lounging back on the couch, his head filled with a million thoughts.
He's only been back three months, and things weren't getting any better.
Everyone's moved on but him.
How could he?
He showed up to work every morning to find the women he loves in the arms of another man. Richard White's a good guy. He could never think ill-will of him. He's always treated him with respect, and not only is he a caring fiancée, but a loving father.
A father…
To a child that's his.
If only he was capable of getting drunk right now, he'd be gulping his second case of beer, or second bottle of scotch. Whichever came first. It didn't matter. All he could do now is continue life as if nothing's change…
Except everything's changed.
Suddenly, his head perked up at a familiar scent. It was coming from outside his door. It couldn't be… but it…
He opened the door so quickly that the person behind had their fist hanging in mid-air before it got in contact with the door.
"Lois?"
"Clark," she said, looking as surprised to be standing behind his door as he is surprised to see her standing there.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, automatically concerned.
She awkwardly put her hand down, letting both arms dangle to their respective sides. He stood in front of her nervously, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose as he waited for her to answer.
"I was… in the neighborhood," she said almost reluctantly.
"Oh."
"I noticed you lived here so…" she breathed in deeply. "Can I come in?"
"Yes." He hustled to get out of her way. "Of course." He gestured for her to enter as the gentleman that he is.
"Come in."
"Thanks."
She walked inside, stopping just by the sofa before turning to him. He could tell that something was bothering her, but what, he couldn't quite narrow down. It could be a number of many things.
"I'm sorry for coming in unannounced like this but…" she paused to look around.
If only one of this gifts were reading minds...
"Lois?"
She snapped back to his attention. "Oh, right. Sorry… I just…" she tried to hide her smile. "We've known each other for years but I think this is the first time I've ever set foot in your apartment."
He looked around and smiled sheepishly at his neatly kept abode. Once he founda place to stay, he spent most of his time indoors, avoiding the world at large whenever he wans't out there as Superman.
She chuckled softly at his reaction and the small tension in the air lifted slightly.
"And you look pretty good in a t-shirt," she complimented before sitting herself down.
In an attempt to get his act together, he asks, "Lois, is something bothering you?"
"Can we just hang out?" she said, changing the subject. "You know, we've barely really got a chance to catch up…" her attention drifts to the little pieces of furniture that made up his apartment. "This is a really great place, Clark. Who knew you had interior fashion sense beyond your three-piece suit."
He smiled genuinely for the first time since walking away from the woman and life he's always wanted.
"Thanks."
There was a long and awkward silence in between until he finally had the nerve to talk again.
"Um... where's Richard?"
"He's on assignment in Europe," she answered a little too quickly.
He raised his eyebrows. "And Jason?" saying his name out loud hurt just as much as hearing it in the office.
"With Lucy."
Lucy... her sister. He slowly made his way to the couch and sat down while giving her some space. While concern was etched clearly across his face, he wanted to know why she was there.
"Lois... um... why are you here?"
"I honestly don't know," she admits truthfully. "I guess because I'm feeling a bit lonely right now."
He's surprised to say the least. She has everything now. Not only does she have a great career, but she's a mother to a great child and the fiancée of a man that clearly loves her dearly. How could she be lonely?
"Let's talk." She recommended.
"Sure," he said, forcing his smile. "What about?"
She took a deep breath and said, "Anything."
The next few weeks went by so fast for Clark that it felt surreal. And in those three weeks, he and Lois have become closer as friends than they ever did when they first started working together at the Planet all those years ago.
Many times, on the way to work, they would meet up for morning coffee at the local Starbucks. Something that's become quite the routine between them.
As he took a sip from his regular coffee, somebody behind him tripped and nearly spilled the drink he held in his hands on himself. Thankfully, only his mouth got the punishment.
"Ouch," he faked feeling the heat of the coffee on his lips.
"Here, let me," Lois said, grabbing a napkin and softly began to wipe away the leftover spill on his lips. It was moments like these that put him in a lose-lose situation. He hated being near her, knowing he can never have her, but then he hated being away from her. Life could be very cruel.
All of the sudden, out of nowhere, something unexpected happened.
Her eyes changed into something he only ever saw her use with another person.
Superman.
Her eyes pierced against his own even though he could hear her heart race in anticipation. And when she leaned up to kiss him, he was so shocked he couldn't react in time.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," she said, breaking away but any note of shame that appeared on her face wasn't there.
He was still thunderstruck as she made her way across the street.
"Lois, wait!" he yelled.
But she was already into the doors of the Daily Planet as he stood there wondering what just happened.
That night, he stepped out of the cab and looked into the suburban-like home Lois lived in as he was hit with sadness at the last time he was here. It was shortly after she had revealed to him that Jason was his son, and he had come by as Superman to see them one more time. It hurt too much to see them at the office so he made an effort to avoid coming to her home.
Until now...
He tentatively walked up the steps to her front door and rang the doorbell.
Nothing happened.
He rang it again.
Still, nothing happened.
He took a step back; looking around his surroundings to make sure he couldn't be seen before subtly lowering his black thick-rimmed glasses as he scanned the interior of the house with his x-ray vision.
Suffice to say, he was more than a little surprised to see that the house was devoid of any occupants or furnishings.
He didn't understand what was happening.
Didthey move?
If they were, she's never mentioned it before.
It was one thing to hurt not being a part of Lois and Jason's life, but it'd hurt even more if he couldn't see them at all. At least as Clark Kent, he could watch his son grow.
He was about to fly away when he caught the familiar figure of a man pulling up into the driveway.
It was Richard White.
"Clark. Hey. What are you doing here?" Richard asked as he got out of the car.
"Mr. White," he greeted in return.
"Please, how many times have I insisted you call me Richard?"
He weakly smiled. "Sorry about that. It's a habit."
"It's okay." He stopped besides him and looked at the empty house. "I guess you're here looking for Lois. And by the look on your face, you didn't know that we don't live here anymore." Clark shifted uncomfortably where he stood.
"It's a little hard not to notice."
Richard laughed but it held no amusement. "Lois and I are... look, I guess you weren't supposed to hear it from me, but you're here now and I figure you might as well know." Clark swallowed as Richard finally told him what was happening. "Lois and I aren't really together anymore."
That, he was not expecting.
"You're not?"
Richard shook his head regrettably. "I saw it coming. I'm not going to say that it's always been perfect between us. I knew she had baggage that she may never want to share with me, but everything changed the moment Superman came back into her life. She never admitted it, but I know he was more than just a subject to her." He paused, trying to gather the strength to say what he's wanted to say to anybody in a while. "I can tell she still loves him."
"I don't... I don't know what to say."
"Don't worry about it, Clark. Maybe one day she and I will be friends, even though either of us can't really see it happening. I've been taking assignments abroad, you know. Just to keep my mind off things."
"What aboutyour son?"
He smiled sadly. "I love Jason," he said with pure honesty. "But when I asked her if I could adopt him so I could be his legal father, the look on her face told me everything I needed to know."
Clark looked away, his heart constricting at the thought. He knew exactly how Richard felt, probably even more.
"She didn't want me to even though I'm the only father that Jason's ever known... she's never even mentioned who the guy was," Richard continued with a solemn expression. "Anyway... I just knew it was over."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too." Richard held his emotions in. "Look, if you really need to get a hold of her, she's staying at her sister's. You'll have better luck there."
Clark nodded appreciatively as well as guiltily.
"Thanks."
"Need a ride?"
"Would you really want to give me one?"
Richard let out an amused grin. "Not really. Take care, Clark. And look after Lois okay? She may not want the help, but that doesn't mean she doesn't need it."
Clark walked away uncertain how to feel. He loves Lois with every part of his being, and he loves Jason just as much, but why does the cause of people's happiness always result in another's pain?
Life wasn't fair.
He learned that a long time ago.
The following morning, Lois took extra effort to avoid him at work. After many failed attempts at a conversation, he was surprised to find her leading him out of the news room and into a broom closet he normally reserved for changing into Superman when he didn't feel like wearing it under his clothes.
"Look. About yesterday," she started. She looked like she had a lot on her mind, and he didn't want to make it worse.
"Its okay, Lois. We don't have to talk about this right now."
"No, it's not okay. It's so far from okay, it's practically illegal. I just wanted to - "
"I ran into Richard last night," he said, interrupting her.
Lois looked genuinelysurprised.
"Oh."
A beat.
"How much did he tell you?"
He shrugged but that only made her roll her eyes, knowing the answer.
"That's just great," she said, slightly annoyed. She left the broom closet as several co-workers looked at them oddly, and while he worried about office gossip, Lois didn't have a care in the world.
He sighed, desperate to get through to her without fumbling.
Two weeks sped by and the sudden lack of connection between him and Lois became too much for him to bear. So he sucked it up and cut her off at the impasse as she took her newly brewed latte out of her hand.
"Hey!" she complained.
He turned and threw her a smirk.
"We've got talk."
"About what?" she said, feigning ignorance.
"You're avoiding me," he accused, and to his surprise, he didn't feel guilty about it.
"No I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"Am not."
"Are too."
They both stopped and sighed as they realized they just had their first bicker. And oddly enough, they both liked it.
"Lois," he spoke up softly. "What's happening between us?"
She ignored him and said, "I don't know."
He held out to lightly grab her arm.
"Lois, please."
She spun around, her emotions unfiltered. "I don't know, okay!" she shook her head, trying to get a hold of her erratic thoughts. "Look, Clark, you've always been a good friend, and I guess I was looking for something... familiar. It's like, I don't feel a lot of my burdens when I'm with you, and I know it isn't fair to you but I'm just so..." She breathed out and it was obvious that sharing how she felt was difficult. "I don't know what I'm saying now, just forget about - "
In a bold move, Clark pulled her in and kissed her, andit was completely unlike the kisses they shared when he was Superman.
As Superman, their kisses were always gentle and tender, passionate yet careful. But this kiss, the kiss he shared with Lois as Clark Kent went deeper than that. He wasn't trying to hide himself, and there was an intensity that he didn't expect rise out inside him as he passionately claimed her lips with his own, that it nearly left them both gasping for breath.
"Wow," she muttered under her breath, not expecting what just happened to happen, with Clark Kent of all people.
He smiled, albeit shyly. He's never done that before. Even in their most intimate moments, he's never allowed himself to fully lose control like that.
"Um… would…" He thought against asking her out, he knew it was too soon even though its been months since she and Richard have privately ended their relationship. He felt overwhelmingly responsible for the pain both she and Richard were feeling despite his own feelings on the situation. "There's a story Chief wanted us to look into, in Suicide Slums... do you want to go check it out tonight?" he asked instead. The professional route being the safest.
She looked at him peculiarly, and for the life of him, he couldn't read her expression. Was she upset? He didn't know.
"You want to work tonight?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
He stuffed his hands inside his trouser pockets like a nervous teenager, unable to force the intimate moment they shared from his mind.
"Yeah."
She looked away.
"I can't."
He tried not to let his disappointment show but he couldn't help it.
"We'll work on it tomorrow, I have plans tonight."
He looked at her with surprise. "You do?"
She grinned. "Well… Jason and I are having dinner with Lucy and her husband Ron tonight." She stopped to think for a moment. "Would… would you like to join us?"
Surprised by the invitation, his thoughts momentarily ceased.
"Clark?"
He snapped out of it. "I… don't want to impose," he said politely.
"Jason likes you," she said with a smile. "And you're not imposing. Look, we're friends, right? So, we should be able to hang out as friends."
He nodded and knewhe'll wait as long as he needs to.
Forever, if that's what it takes.
When he arrived, he was unprepared for the surprise that greeted him at the door.
It was Jason.
"Hi," Clark said, the pitch in his voice starting on high. He embarrassedly cleared his throat before starting again. He kneeled down to face him as he forced himself to hide his nervousness. "Hello Jason," he said softly, staring into the eyes of the boy he and Lois made together.
Jason smiled. "Hi, Mister Clark." His little hand grabbed Clark's. "Mom's helping Aunt Lucy make dinner. Uncle Ron went to the store. Come, I'll show you where they are."
Clark chuckled at the boy's enthusiasm. He's definitely his mother's son.
"Sure," he said finally, letting Jason lead him to the kitchen.
Jason led him across the living room and to the kitchen where Lois was busy setting the table as Lucy worked the stove. Lois raised her head and smiled at the sight of her son leading their guest inside.
"Hey, Clark!" she greeted happily. "I'm glad you made it."
He waved awkwardly. "Thanks for inviting me."
"Come in, sit down. We made pot roast… well, actually, Lucy made it, I just stood by with the fire extinguisher in case something bad happened."
Lucy snorted. "Please! There's only room for one Lane in the kitchen and it's not you."
Lois stuck her tongue out on her little sister before direction her attention back to Clark. Her smile was so carefree, he'd forgotten what it was like to see her so completely happy. It lifted his heart to know she could brave any hard seas.
"Do you need any help?"
"Nah," Lucy said, pointing for him to sit down. "We've got it under control. Isn't that right, sis?" she said with a nudge.
Lois rolled her eyes andClark couldn't help but chuckle at the sisterly affection. He grew up alone, with only his parents for company and the family dog, Shelby. So to see them like that, it's always a wonder in his eyes.
In the living room, Jason started playing 'Heart and Soul' on his keyboard as Lois looked on adoringly.
"He's a good player," he complimented.
Lois was beaming. "He loves it! Even though he's not as athletic, he's got such a creative mind. I think I've got myself a future Einstein."
"Why do you say that?" he wondered curiously.
"He always gets an 'A' in math and science. I'm so proud of him."
Clark smiled. It was nice to know that his biological father's love for science lives on in Jason.
"Do you play, Clark?"
"Very little," he admits shyly.
"Really?"
"It's been a while," he revealed humbly.
"That's too bad."
"Yeah," he muttered softly, folding his hands atop the table as he quietly sat by without another word, sneaking glances to an oblivious Jason as he continues to play 'Heart and Soul' on his keyboard. It happens to be one of his favorite songs too. Small world.
"Okay, sis. You've been holding out on me," Lucy said with a sparkle in her eyes. She looked over her big sister's shoulder to catch a glimpse of a timid Clark Kent at the dinner table. "You never told me that he was cute."
"Who?"
"What do you mean who? Clark!" she whispered softly.
Lois's eyes widen. "We're not like that. We're just really good friends."
"What kind of friends?"
Lois is aghast. "Lucy!"
"What?" she said, as if the question was innocent. "Look, not to get all up in your space and all, but... he looks like a pretty decent guy. And you've known him for what six... seven years, and it suddenly now you have him coming over for dinner. Please! As if I don't know where this is going."
"We're colleagues," Lois assured, if only her confidence in her words weren't lacking.
"Right. Colleagues." Lucy didn't believe her for a second. She looked over her shoulder, grinned and then turned back to Lois, crossing her arms. "So this isn't a test to see if he would get along with Jason would it?"
"You have a devious mind," Lois said, hitting her with a dishtowel.
Lucy couldn't help but laugh. "Call it observation, sis, but that's what I'm seeing. And by the looks of it, the two are getting along quite well if you ask me."
"What?" Lois turned and looked out into the kitchen where Clark was nowhere in sight. At that point, she finally realized that 'Heart and Soul' was playing so beautiful, you could literally mistake that it was coming out of cd player. Curious, she walked past Lucy and headed to the living where she spotted Jason sitting cross-legged on he floor with... Clark... playing on the keyboard.
As if on cue, Jason looked up and faced his mother with a huge smile.
"Look mom! Mister Clark is playing my song!" he said excitedly as Clark suddenly stopped what he was doing, clearly embarrassed. "Aww," Jason complained when his new friend stopped so abruptly. "Can you play again?" he asked politely, the boy's smile practically breaking his emotional barriers so effortlessly.
"Umm..." he looked towards the kitchen. "Maybe we should get ready for dinner."
"Yeah, it's just about ready," Lucy said, popping her head out into the living room.
Clark smiled warmly as Lois watched. She approached him slowly. "You didn't have to stop," she said, sitting down besides him on the couch. "You played beautifully, by the way."
"Thanks. My mother taught me."
Lois smiled. "Why am I not surprised?" she said rhetorically. She held out her hands and Jason immediately rushed to her side, letting himself get engulfed in his mother's embrace. Clark watched the scene fondly. She is such an amazing mother.
"Mom. Is daddy coming?"
Then his heart sank.
She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and spoke softly into his ear. "Not tonight sweetie, but you two get to hang out this weekend."
"Aren't you coming?"
She put on a brave face and smiled. "I'm sorry, sweetie. But it's just you and daddy."
He nodded before stepping in between Lois and Clark so he could play his piano. Lois stood up, her emotions on edge and quickly excused herself to the balcony. Clark watched her go, and he longed to tell her everything. That she isn't alone in this.
Just before dinner started, he decided to see if she was okay.
"Lois," he called out softly as he stepped out into the balcony. She was leaning on the edge, staring out into the city. The lights stretching for miles. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," she lied, but then changed her mind. "Actually, no, it isn't."
"Is there anything I could do?"
There was a long pause between them before she answered.
"You can tell me the truth, Clark." A beat. "Or should I call you Superman?"
To say that Clark was shocked by the question would be an understatement. In that moment, he mentally recalled every moment he spent with her since his return from Krypton, and nothing, not a single memory made him think he gave away his identity.
"Lois - "
"Please..." she stopped him cold. "I've been trying to understand, trying to put the pieces together, but I can't." She took a deep breath and continued. "I dream about you, you know. Not Superman, but you. I'd fall asleep and dream of moments that never happened, but it felt so real. You. Are. Superman."
Clark gulped.
"Do you deny it?"
He shook his head. "No, I'm don't."
If it wasn't for the patio seat besides her, she would've collapsed right then and there. She pressed a hand against her forehead as she searched deeper into her mind, into the memories she thought weren't real.
"How?"
"We were on an assignment in Niagra Falls. There was a rescue and you questioned me about it, always wondering where I was whenever Superman showed up." He stopped and waited for her to say something but her silence were indicative that he should continue, so he did. "Back at the hotel, you pulled a gun on me..." he swallowed. "Shot me, too." Lois's eyes go wide with soft recollection. "They were blanks, but I didn't realize that right away."
"That's how I found out?"
He nodded.
"Then I told you everything. I took you North, and I showed you the fortress my biological father built for me when I was 18. I didn't hide anything from you."
"But you did." Her voice wasn't accusatory or angry, just... hurt.
"You were covering a story and you got hurt."
"Retrograde amnesia," she remembered. "So an entire day, gone. A single day that mattered more than any number of years in my life, and you kept that from me." She sighed. "You and I... Superman and I were involved, and you still didn't think I had a right to know."
"At first, I did it for you safety."
"That's a load of crap!"
"I'm sorry," he said, sincere and heartbroken, yet relieved that everything that he's kept inside is finally being expressed, no matter how painful it may be. "How did you - " he dared to ask.
"Remember?" she finished his sentence. "When Luthor showed me the father crystal. I felt as if I've seen it before, but I didn't know where. Since then, piece by piece, I started dreaming of it. It was so vivid, I knew it can't just be a dream."
"I didn't mean to get between you and Richard."
She scoffed at his words. "You were always between us, Clark, from the very beginning," she said, a touch to bitterly. "But that wasn't the only reason why it ended between us. When you left, I was angry. Pissed off. And for a time, I just wanted to hurt you back. But Richard was a good man and he reminded me so much of..." she didn't finish the sentence because he already knew.
"It wasn't fair to him," she said, regrettably. "He deserved better than what I can give him." She stopped and stared into the apartment where Jason continued to play. "And it wasn't fair to you."
"Me?"
"I didn't realize until it was too late just how unfair the situation was for you. How you had to show up to work every day to face me and my family, a family I should've made with you." Her tears were flowing and he tried not to show his own to no avail. She paused briefly before continuing. "It's kind of ironic, isn't it. Your parents sent you off into space hoping there would be a family that would love you, and there you are, stepping back and letting me live a life with Richard and our son."
Clark wiped his tears from his face, choking the sob he wished he can let out as he turned away from her. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because I'm tired," she said, closing the distance between them, softly placing her hand on top of his as he stared out into the distance. "I'm tired of trying to be strong. I know this is going to be hard, and it's not going to be easy, but I want to at least try."
"I can't be that normal guy for you."
"I've never wanted anything more from you than you."
"Jason's not - "
"He's your son, Clark."
"Maybe... but Richard is his father."
"Then he'll have two."
"You don't know what you're asking," he said, holding in his sobs.
"As far as I can tell, Clark, I know you want this as much as I do. For the past few weeks I've been living a lie too. I pretended that nothing has changed, that we're nothing but co-workers. Tonight I realized, when I saw you playing inside and Jason was watching you so intently, how hard it is pretending. Being two different people. And I also realized that the Superman I fell in love with was just another part of a man I've wanted to get to know."
"I always knew that to live like one of you is to live a lie. But to live without you is to condemn myself to further isolation."
"You're not alone."
He turned to her, his eyes showing nothing but love in them.
"I know."
Just then, Jason stepped outside and approached the two adults.
"Mom, are you sad?"
She smiled at her son and scooped him up into her arms. "No sweetie, I'm not sad."
Feeling as if he was intruding on a private moment, Clark started to leave but was stopped, and it wasn't Lois who did the stopping. It was Jason. Every time he looked at the boy, he felt overwhelming love for him. Pure and unconditional. It was the greatest feeling in the world.
Before Clark could say something, Jason held out both his hands.
He looked towards Lois who whispered that it was okay. Slowly, he reached out and took Jason from his mother's arms and held him for the first time in his own. He didn't know if Jason knew, but at that moment, he knew that he finally had a chance to get to know him.
Build a real relationship with him.
Behind them, Lois cried tears of joy as she watched the two most important men in her lives get to know one another, and it was the most beautiful sight she's ever seen.
The End