There was a large crowd at Ethan's Costume Shop. Xander and Willow had chosen their costumes before Buffy so they got out sooner. Buffy was so happy with her old-timey dress, Angel would love it. If only she could have talked Willow out of her ghost costume. She reached the cash register still puzzling about it. Stacked by the clerk were some fishnet stockings that were supposed to be part of a streetwalker costume. Buffy handed the clerk her dress and then smiled impulsively. She grabbed a pair of the stockings and handed them to the clerk. "Ring these up too," she said
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Later the girls were at Buffy's. Willow was getting dressed in the bathroom. "Come on out," Buffy said impatiently. Willow came out in her streetwalker costume. "You look perfect," Buffy said. The doorbell rang. "That's Xander," she smiled. "I can't wait for the guys to go nonverbal when they see you."
"Buffy he'll only look at you," Willow sighed. "He doesn't know I'm alive. I mean, girl-wise anyway."
"That's what the outfit's for," Buffy said.
Buffy headed downstairs and let Xander in, who was very enthusiastic about Buffy's costume. "What till you see Willow," Buffy told him. "It's," she looked up stairs to see Willow descending in her ghost outfit, "Casper," she said sighing.
"That's a great boo you got there Will," Xander smiled. Ghost Willow reached the bottom of the stairs and stood with them.
Buffy's eyes sparkled. "Hey Xander, guess what?"
"What," Xander said.
"Surprise!" shouted Buffy. She whipped off Willow's ghost costume with a blur of slayer speed and tossed it over her shoulder. "You didn't think Willow was wearing that lame ghost outfit again, did you?" She pushed Willow forward. "This is her costume."
Xander took in Willow's streetwalker costume and, as promised, did indeed go nonverbal. He gulped. He gulped again. "Uh, Will, wow, you look, wow."
"You like this?" Willow asked blushing.
"He loves it," Buffy said. "Now hurry or we'll be late." She scooted them out the door before Willow could hesitate and slammed it behind them.
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Later Ethan was back at his shop, chanting in Latin as he completed his spell.
"Showtime!" Ethan said.
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A chill wind blew over Sunnydale and everyone changed. Screams broke out as little monsters charged up and down the street. Lady Elizabeth screamed as one of the small fiends charged her, gnashing his sharp teeth. A burst of gunfire overhead frightened the monster off and a man in uniform stepped forward holding a rifle.
"Miss, are you alright?" he asked, helping her up.
"Oh, you have a musket. Please, you must protect me."
"Calm down, now, you'll be safe, just stay close to me," the soldier said.
"Sounds like good advice," a slinky voice purred. The soldier turned around. A smoky eyed redhead with curves in all the right places was standing behind him. She gave him a smoldering look that made his mouth go dry. She had legs that went on forever and she used them to slink over to him in a way that should be illegal. "I need protecting too," she said under lowered eyelashes.
The soldier cleared his throat. "Well, ma'am. Yes, well, you'll have to stay extra close."
"Like this?" She pressed in and cuddled. She fit nicely in his arms, just sort of floating against him.
"You're a harlot," wailed Lady Elizabeth. "A common street walker."
"Oh there's nothing common about it princess," the redhead laughed. There were more screams from up and down the street. A band of the little monsters charged them and the soldier fired another warning burst over their heads. They scattered in fear but there were more on the way.
"We have to get off the street." The soldier said.
Lady Elizabeth pointed towards a house. "That place, it seems a safe place to me." She began walking towards it. The soldier shrugged and followed her, keeping an arm around the cuddly redhead.
"Do you have a name?" he asked her. "I'm Harris by the way."
The redhead thought for a moment, wrinkling her forehead in a delightful and oddly familiar way. "I'm…Rosen…Rose." She said after a moment. "Do you like it?"
"I love it," he said. "Do you know what we're doing here? I was on a base, and then suddenly I was here."
"I was out looking for a date," Rose smiled. "I'm glad I found one."
"Me too," he grinned. They'd reached the door and Lady Elizabeth was pounding on it, shrieking to be let in. Harris reached around her and tried the knob. It was unlocked. The door swung open and they piled inside.
Harris shouted "Hello! Anyone home!" He turned to them, "Great, the place is deserted." He locked and bolted the front door. "You stay here, while I secure the back and windows."
"I'm frightened," Lady Elizabeth said.
"Ooo, orders," Rose smiled. "I love a man who's in charge." She stepped up to him and gave him a mock salute, "Any orders for me sir?"
He slipped his arm around her, squeezed her and kissed her firmly. "You stay looking hot, I'll be right back." He strode off to the back of the house.
Rose kicked off her shoes and walked over to the couch. She examined it with a critical eye, then pulled off some of the cushions and plumped others. Satisfied, she sprawled on the couch and waited.
"What are you doing?" Lady Elizabeth asked.
Rose looked at her with a twinkle in her eye, "Come over here princess and I'll show you." She patted the space next to her.
Lady Elizabeth squeaked in disapproval. "You low creature. Do not speak to me or I'll have you beaten."
"Careful little girl," Rose warned. "You don't want me for an enemy."
Harris came back from the back of the house and stared at Rose on the couch. She looked back with smoldering eyes. He went to the couch and lunged at her, she lunged back. He struggled a bit, kissing her while slipping his rifle off. She laughed and kissed back running her hands over him. He moaned softly.
"Disgusting," Lady Elizabeth cried. "Vile creatures. Stop that at once!"
Harris growled at her and turned back to the curvaceous redhead. There was a pounding on the door and the glass in it was punched out. A creature roared outside. Lady Elizabeth screamed.
Harris sighed and pulled himself away from Rose, snatching up his rifle. Rose gave a throaty laugh. He ran to the door and fired a burst through the broken glass. The creature outside ran off. Harris had aimed high, to frighten it. For some reason he was reluctant to fire on the monsters. He couldn't figure out why.
A scream outside attracted his attention. A girl in a cat suit was running away from what looked like Bigfoot. "Stay here," Harris shouted. He unbolted the door and ran across the street towards her. The town was a mad house with monsters of every description charging about breaking things and fighting each other. He caught the girl and fired over Bigfoot's head. It roared defiantly but then ran off the other way. He steered the girl back to the door.
"Xander! Help me!" she cried. He led her into the house and locked the door behind them.
Lady Elizabeth studied the cat suit girl. "Another prostitute. He is collecting them!" She glared at Harris. "And what are your plans for me you knave!"
Ignoring Lady Elizabeth, Harris saw that the cat girl was settled and the door locked, then he headed back to the couch and Rose. Lady Elizabeth made a small noise and turned away. Cordelia stared at the couple on the couch for a moment and then said, "Hey, you two knock that off."
Harris sighed. "What now?" he asked. Rose giggled.
"I don't want to see that," Cordelia said. "Besides this is an emergency."
The kitchen door slammed and Angel walked in. "Are you alright? It's chaos out there."
"It's insane," Cordelia said. "Everyone is turning into their costumes. These three have all lost it," she said waving at Rose, Harris and Lady Elizabeth.
"What?" Angel said. "Buffy, Xander, Willow, you know who you are right?" The trio stared at him blankly.
"Private Harris, US Army," Harris said.
"I know of no Buffy," Lady Elizabeth said. "But as you are a gentleman, I demand your protection."
Angel stared at Buffy. "18th century midlands," he murmured softly. "I'd thought I'd never hear that again." He looked at Rose. "What are you supposed to be?" Rose gave him a smoky smile. Angel took a breath and cleared his throat. "Oh," he said.
"Angel," Cordelia said, "fix this!"
"Okay," Angel said. "Private Harris, I want you to secure this building. Seal all the entrances." Harris nodded and moved off. "Umm," Angel said, looking at Lady Elizabeth, he turned to Rose and said, "Could you help him?"
"That's not a good idea," Cordy said. Rose smirked at Cordy and followed Harris.
"I've got to get to Giles," Angel said. "He's the only one who can figure out what's going on."
"My convertible's around the corner," Cordy said. "If the monsters haven't wrecked it."
There was a sudden crash from the kitchen. Lady Elizabeth screamed. Angel raced there to see Harris wrestling with a vampire while Rose was smacking it on the head with a frying pan. Angel joined in and the two of them quickly wrestled it out the door. Harris slammed it shut and bolted it and then dragged the kitchen table in front of us.
"You cannot abandon us," Lady Elizabeth said.
"I don't want to," Angel said.
"My car only seats two," Cordy said. "And no you can't drive it."
"The bottom floor is secured," Harris reported.
"Then you should be safe as long as you stay put," Angel said.
"Hey, Harris," Rose called from the top of the stairs. She was leaning against the wall with one leg raised in an…interesting pose. "There's a room up here with a jammed window. I just can't get it locked. Come help, 'kay?" she smiled.
"I'm right on it," Harris said eagerly.
"Hold it," Cordelia said. "You two are like useless." She seemed to make a decision and steeled herself. "Okay, I'm going to sacrifice myself because we're in danger. We need to get Xander's head screwed on straight."
She stepped up to Harris, put her arms around him and kissed him firmly. After a moment, she pulled back. "Now that should straighten you out mister…." She trailed off, looking in surprise at his face.
Harris shrugged. "You're not bad for a high school girl, but a grown man needs a woman. No offense."
Cordelia stiffened. "I'm being rejected for Willow Rosenberg. This cannot be happening."
Rose stepped forward and smiled at Cordelia. "Too much tongue," she explained. "You're overselling it. Here, like this." She stepped into Cordelia, slipped her arms around her and kissed her on the lips. They were together for a long moment, and Cordelia made a soft mmph sound.
Rose pulled back and smiled. "See, a tease and a promise, nothing more."
"Get away!" Cordelia wailed suddenly. She pushed Rose back. Rose shrugged and moved back to Harris who reached for her eagerly.
"I can show you more if you're up for a three way," Rose said. She smirked at Cordelia, "I'll even let you practice on him, but I get to watch."
Cordelia turned bright red, her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She stared, her eyes wide and finally said, "This is a nightmare, it can't be real."
She turned to Angel, "Okay, we've got to get to Giles. We have to end this madness now!"
"You're really upset about this," Angel said looking at her. He turned to Harris, "Private, lock the door after us and guard the house. I'm counting on you to protect both the ladies, not just your friend here," he nodded at Rose. Harris nodded grudgingly and opened the front door. Angel and Cordelia ran past him and he shut it as they left.
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The streets of Sunnydale were a madhouse of monsters and victims, with the occasional costumed hero helping out. Angel and Cordelia helped where they could, trying to reach her car. Some of the parents were hiding a large house being guarded by a small Arab girl in a belly dancer's costume, who had an enormous pet tiger. Cordelia thought the small girl was cute and gave her a kiss, which seemed to irritate her. But the big tiger was keeping the monsters off, so they pressed on.
Driving through the streets was little better; the whole town seemed to have gone mad. A large roadster pulled up behind the convertible and began honking, trying to pass.
"Who does that hag think she is?" Cordelia demanded. They pulled side by side at a stoplight. The roadster had a right mounted steering wheel so the two drivers were next to each other. "Where'd you learn to drive, you old hag?" Cordy screeched.
"Impudent snip of a girl," the other woman said. "I'll have you horsewhipped." She was older, in her fifties at least, with bizarre hair, half black and half white. She was wrapped in a huge fur and had a strange looking feathered hat on her head. "Get off the road," she screamed, "or I'll run you off. I've got a gun in here."
"I'll run you off, you crazy witch!" Cordelia shouted back. The other woman shouted back and her and began fumbling for what might be her gun. Cordelia continued screaming at her and the other woman screamed back. The light changed, but the two cars stayed stopped, both women unwilling to leave off the screaming match.
Angel stared in horrified fascination, unable to make out words any more over the shrill shrieking, as the light changed from green to red and then back again. "Cordelia," he said nervously. Both women suddenly fell silent, looking at each other appraisingly.
The older woman smiled, "You have spunk, child. You'll go far, I can tell."
Cordy smiled back, "You're not bad for an old timer." She nodded at the green light, "Age before beauty." The other woman smiled and her roadster roared off into the night. Angel studied the other car's license plate. 'De Ville,' it read. I know that name from somewhere, he thought.
"What was that all about," he asked.
"Estrogen pissing contest," she grinned. "Hey look at that," she pointed. They were passing a park and some of the devils had built a fire there. They'd set up an enormous cauldron and were herding some old ladies towards it, poking at them and trying to get them to climb in.
Cordelia skidded the car to a halt before the demons and blared her horn loudly. Angel leaped from the car and dove into the crowd of monsters, scattering them. It was a tough battle for a moment, with hordes of the little monsters clawing at him. Cordelia jumped into the fight, with a can of mace and cheerleading kicks. But it was the sudden appearance of a dark, three foot tall caped figure that ended the foot. He joined the battle punching the demons, (who were his size) and knocking them flying with ridiculous ease.
Finally the monsters where routed and Cordy was leading the old ladies back to their house. Angel faced the small figure in a familiar black and purple costume. His eyes widened in disbelief. "Adam West?" he said after a moment.
The small figure pressed a button on his belt and a child sized black car roared up. "Thanks for the assistance," the small person said. He gave Angel a quick salute. "Carry on citizen," he said. He leaped into the tiny car and drove off.
"Who was that?" Cordelia asked.
"Ah…bah…Batman," Angel stammered.
"Hunh," Cordelia said. "I didn't know he was supposed to be a midget."
They climbed back into her car and continued towards the library. "Hey," Angel said, "we make a pretty good team, don't you think?"
"Dream on, fang boy," Cordelia said.
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"And everyone became their costumes?" Giles asked. "Xander a soldier and Buffy a noblewoman?"
"Yes, yes," Cordy said, "we explained that already."
"But why aren't you a cat creature?" Giles asked.
"Hunh?" Cordy said.
"That's right," Angel said. "Cordy, where did you get your costume?"
"Party Town," she said.
Angel looked at Giles. "The others got there's at Ethan's Costumes. It's a new shop down town."
"Ethan's," Giles muttered darkly. "Cordelia I want you to take me to this Ethan's. We'll see what can be done about lifting the spell. Angel, get back to Buffy and protect her. It's vital she be kept safe while she's vulnerable." Angel and Cordelia nodded.
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Harris and Rose continued on the couch. "Will you please stop," Lady Elizabeth said.
Rose smiled at her. "We aren't doing very much, princess. Just getting acquainted. You don't have to watch."
"Yeah," Harris said, "you could go away and faint or something." Rose frowned at him.
"The princess is tense," she said. She got up and slipped an arm around Lady Elizabeth. "Don't worry, you're safe here."
Lady Elizabeth sighed, "How I wish I could believe that. This has been such a dreadful nightmare."
"There, there," Rose said, massaging Lady Elizabeth's shoulders. "Just relax, it's all going to be fine." Lady Elizabeth sighed and leaning back, letting Rose's comforting hands stroke her. Then her eyes snapped open and she leaped to her feet.
"What is going on? What are you attempting, you vile creature?"
"Trying to help you relax," Rose sighed. She walked back to Harris and sat down next to him. He reached for her eagerly.
"This is a brothel," wailed Lady Elizabeth. "A low place for common soldiers and their harlots."
"This isn't a brothel," Rose scoffed. She looked around. "This place is a dump. Though it has possibilities. Why? Were you thinking of—."
Lady Elizabeth shrieked and flung open the door, running off into the night.
"Good," Harris growled.
"Hey, you promised," Rose said. "Besides, I feel bad with the princess out there." Harris sighed, stood, and reached for his rifle.
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Angel arrived just has Harris was defeating the pirate in the alley. "I told you to stay at the house," he said.
"Why do I take orders from you again?" Harris asked.
"Don't fight boys," Rose said. "Princess got scared and ran off is all." She turned to where Lady Elizabeth was hiding. "It's okay, princess, we're all here to keep you safe." Lady Elizabeth cautiously climbed out for her hiding place.
Angel looked at the front of the alley and saw Spike approaching with a group of mini-monsters. "Uh oh, where's Batman when you need him," he sighed.
Spike chased them down the alley but they managed to find a back entrance into the warehouse. Lady Elizabeth was cowering behind Rose as Angel and Harris attempted to barricade the entrance. "Find another exit," Harris shouted. Rose led Lady Elizabeth off and tried the far door.
"It's locked," she said. The monsters forced the door and overran Angel and Harris. Rose ran back to help them and Lady Elizabeth tried to hide. They fought, but they lost. Spike swaggered into the warehouse and walked over to Lady Elizabeth.
Lady Elizabeth screamed as Spike flung her onto a box. "Tasty," he grinned, baring his fangs. Harris struggled but the monsters holding him were too strong.
"You don't need her," a sultry voice purred. It was soft and low, but seemed to fill the warehouse.
Spike looked up and grinned. "The little redhead, well who'd have thought."
Rose slinked towards him. It was a long way, and she walked slowly. She seemed to shimmer in the dark. Every eye was on her. Spike faltered as he watched her approach. He swallowed and stepped back. Lady Elizabeth fell to the floor, whimpering.
Rose leaned into Spike, "You don't need her, you need me." She pressed her lips against his ear and began whispering to him and kissing him. He swayed and closed his eyes and moaned softly with pleasure.
The two monsters guarding Harris were slack jawed with amazement. He shoved one hard and sent him flying and then punched the other, throwing all his weight behind it. The monster was still staring at Rose when Harris hit him, he tumbled back. Harris grabbed his rifle and dropped into firing position. Rose, still at Spike's ear, did something with her tongue that made him groan. Then she twirled away, and was gone. Spike opened his eyes as Harris pulled the trigger.
He emptied the entire clip into Spike with one long burst, sending the vampire flying back into boxes. He slammed a fresh clip into place and moved forwards, angling for a new shot. He saw Spike pulling himself up against a box and fired another burst into him. The blond vampire tumbled out of sight screaming. The little monsters were running.
"Get out. Run." Spike shouted. The back door flung open and the monsters piled out, Harris fired a shot at Spike and started to pursue. Rose caught him.
"It's enough," she said. "They're done for the night. Let's not waste any more of our time." Harris slung his rifle up and pulled Rose into his arms, kissing her hungrily.
Lady Elizabeth peeked out from between the boxes and whimpered.
"I won't hurt you," Angel assured her. She stared at him, whimpered again, and crawled back between the boxes.
"I saw an office back there with a couch," Rose said. "Maybe your luck's changing lover." Harris couldn't even think and just let her led him into the back office. He locked the door and turned to face her. She was reclining on the couch, giving him that smoky eyed smile again. She licked her lips and reached for him. He sat down and pulled her to him.
Outside, Angel crouched down on the floor and looked at where Lady Elizabeth was hiding. "I really won't hurt you," he said. "I want to protect you."
"Go away," Lady Elizabeth said. "I hate you and this terrible smelly place." She looked at him. "You're not a gentleman," she said accusingly. "Common, low born."
"I understand you're scared," Angel said. "But—"
"Irish," she said.
"Hey!" Angel said.
A wind blew over them and they changed.
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Buffy blinked. "Oh my God," she said. She started to stand up and banged her head on the table. "Ouch!" She crawled out from under the table. "Angel!" She dove into his arms.
"Oh Buffy, I was so worried." The two clung together, holding and comforting each other.
"What happened?" Buffy asked.
"It was magic, a spell, Giles must have broken it," Angel said. Muffled noises came from the office.
"Willow and Xander," Buffy gasped. She sat up and ran towards the office. Angel caught her at the door.
"Buffy," he said, "vampire hearing. There's magic in there that's just getting started. Maybe we should let it alone."
Buffy frowned and thought. "Not like this," she said. "Not under a spell." She pushed on the locked door, and used her slayer strength to force it open. Willow was straddling Xander on the couch. His face was buried in her breasts and she was guiding his hands to…
"Willow," Buffy said loudly. "Willow, the spell is over." Willow turned a stricken face towards Buffy. Buffy thought she'd never seen Willow look more embarrassed or humiliated. She moaned and raced out, clutching her disarrayed clothes and shrugging off Buffy's arm.
Xander sat up on the couch and blinked. "Willow," he called out. He grabbed his shirt and raced after her. Buffy watched him run out of the warehouse chasing after Willow.
"Wow," she said. "He didn't even ask if I was okay."
Angel shrugged. "If you ask me," he said, "he doesn't know you're alive."
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The next day Buffy looked for Willow and Xander out in front of school but didn't see them. She kept looking for them in class. Finally, she passed Xander going through the halls.
"Xander! How's Willow doing? Did you catch up to her?" Xander looked at her and gave her a silly looking grin.
"Yeah," he said, breathing deeply. "She's great, she's doing great, and… she's just great." He had to get to class before Buffy could talk to him further.
Buffy finally caught up with Willow as school ended and they were heading for the library. Willow looked…different. She was wearing Willow clothes but they seemed tighter and put together in a more…interesting manner.
She gave Buffy a warm smile and walked up to her. "How are you doing Buffy?"
"Oh, I'm good Will," Buffy said. "I was worried about you. Did Xander catch up to you?"
"Yeah," Willow smiled. "We talked, sort of got some stuff cleared up."
"Oh," Buffy said. "That sounds interesting."
Willow laughed. "Details to follow," she said. She looked down the hallway and grinned. "Cordelia!" she called out. She shimmied over to Cordy. Buffy blinked, she didn't know Willow could walk like that.
Willow leaned into Cordy and smiled at her. "Cordy, I've been thinking about you ever so much. I just can't get you out of my head."
Cordelia Chase turned pink, then red, then several other shades rapidly before settling on a bright purple. She opened her mouth and made a squeaking noise. She backed up. Willow moved towards her. Cordy backed up, with Willow following, until she was against the lockers. She put her finger up and shook it at Willow. "You tricked me Willow Rosenberg. You just stay away from me." She turned and ran down the hallway away from Willow.
Willow laughed. "God, I've been waiting since 2nd grade to do that." She laughed again. "That was fun."
"That's great Willow," Buffy said. "Uh, but what was that all about?"
"Last night," Willow smiled. "Cordy didn't know I was a switch hitter and I sort of bushwhacked her. Of course it wasn't as thorough a bushwhacking as I would have liked but still…."
"Uhm, switch hitter?" Buffy asked as they walked up to the library. "I don't get it." Xander was waiting for them wearing an even sillier smile on his face as he looked at Willow. Willow handed him her books and stepped in for a slow kiss. Buffy felt the color rising in her face as she watched her friends.
Willow broke away and smiled at Buffy. "Never mind Buffy. I'll tell you later, maybe."
Xander grinned at Buffy. "Isn't she great?" he said, following Willow into the library. The three friends sat around the main table as Giles organized his books.
"Well," Giles said, "are there any lasting effects from last night's experiences? That you or any of your classmates have noticed?"
"I can speak French," Buffy said. "And I know what to do with all those little forks and spoons at the fancy restaurants." Behind her Willow opened a book and began studying intently.
"I've got all kinds of memories," Xander said excitedly. "Soldier skills galore, guns, hand to hand, explosives, tactics, more guns, I've got it going on!"
"Well," Giles said. "That's very useful, Xander. You're to be congratulated."
"Yeah," Xander said, eyeing the weapons cabinet. "Giles, could we get some guns in here? According to my memories, they're way better than crossbows."
"Hey," Buffy said. "I don't like guns. Besides," she said brightly, "the school's a weapons free zone." Xander looked at the cabinet full of swords and axes and shrugged.
"It's something to consider," Giles said. "What about you Willow?" Willow turned pink but continued studying her book. "Willow?" Giles said again.
"Hmm?" Willow said, turning a deeper shade of pink and crouching down behind her book. Xander smiled at her fondly.
"I was wondering if you'd learned any new skills during last night's escapade," Giles said.
"Uh, no," Willow said, her voice high pitched and nervous. "No skills, nope it's all gone. No skills here."
"That's strange," Giles said. "The others retained skills and memories. What about memories, Willow do you have any new memories?"
"Memories!" Willow squeaked. "None of that. Nothing like that." She slammed her book shut and jumped to her feet. "I got to go guys, have some homework I've got to get on right away!" She bolted out of the library.
Xander jumped to his feet and turned to follow her. Then he stopped and grabbed Willow's books and bag. He gave Giles and Buffy a goofy grin. "Isn't she great?" he said. He ran off after her.
Buffy pouted. "Xander never talks about how great I am," she complained.
Giles sighed, took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Frankly, Buffy, I don't believe that boy knows you're alive."