When Writers Go Bad: Chapter Four
A.N.: It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry guys, I've been busy, and been sidetracked by other ideas. That's the problem with plot bunnies. If I go into a tangent about the whole gun thing, remember this: It comes up again. Ah well, to continue:
The black plot bunny looked anything but terrifying. It looked like all the other plot bunnies, except black, and slightly larger. It twitched it's nose in the exact same way as all the other plot bunnies, hopped in the exact same way as all the other bunnies, and had been created in the exact same way as all the other plot bunnies.
But, unlike the other plot bunnies, it seemed to be able to speak. Not aloud, you understand, but it seemed to have some odd telepathic connection with Shadow13, for she responded to whatever it was it must have said aloud.
Speaking of Shadow13, she was slumped over a table, most of the old bandages ripped off, or in shreds, as fresh blood oozed from fresh wounds.
"Why are you doing this?" she croaked, wincing and whimpering at the pain.
The plot bunny must have said something, for she responded with "But what do you have to gain by all of it?"
It must have given a very frightening answer, for the fifteen year old shivered, and looked like she might soon burst into tears. "I want you to go away. I don't want you to take control of my brain again. I want you to jump off the cloud and never come back. I never should have listened to you." With fresh resolutions in mind, she began to try and feebly stand. "I don't know what it is you want, but I won't let you have it! I'm going to send them all back to their books, do you hear me? I'm going to-"
Her fiery speech was cut short, for the plot bunny lunged at her, and, in some utterly unexplainable way, wiggled inside her ear(it doesn't have to make sense: It's all fantasy, after all), while she cried out in pain. Finally, it came to rest inside her skull, clutching the half of the brain that it had claimed, and she moaned and groaned, wishing she could make it leave.
"Alright," she cried, giving in. "Just no more! I don't want to bash my head into anymore walls!"
The plot bunny seemed to agree to this, for Shadow13 slumped into a chair and held her bleeding head in her bloodied hands. Banging a fist against the table, she shouted "Shadow! Bring me the bandages!"
…
"I really hate that thing," Shadow grumbled, scooping up some glittery, dusty substance and poured it into a small leather sack. "I really do."
"That thing," was the black plot bunny, which was more often than not their topic of discussion.
Lita rolled her eyes, picking up her scoop to pour more of the shinning dust into her pouch. "We all hate it. But it's not like there's anything we can do about it."
Ellen was ignoring them, par usual, and singing merrily. "Hands, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!"
Lita waded up one of the spare leather pouches and was about to chuck it at Ellen's head when Shadow grabbed her wrist.
"Both of you, knock it off! God, it's enough to drive a person insane."
"I'm already insane!" Ellen shouted with pride.
Changing the subject, Lita complained "I hate having to package the pairing dust! Last time it got into all of the creases in my dress, and when I took it off that night, got all over my bedroom. I swear, the plot bunnies were following me and sighing over me for a week! Have you ever had a bunny be your stalker?" she demanded. "It's creepy!"
The pairing dust, as Lita had called it, was in large piles covering the small cellar. There were shelves filled with leather pouches, and about two dozen scoops for scooping up such dust.
The dust came from plot bunnies who's fics were more fluff than anything else. These bunnies were generally pink, and very fuzzy, and Ellen loved them because they were so soft and cute. Eventually, the extreme saturation of fluff in their bodies ate away at whatever plot had been their, until there was no plot to speak of, just fluff. Needless to say, a plot bunny is not longer a plot bunny once all the plot is destroyed, and a bunny cannot survive if it is only fluff. These bunnies would then spontaneously combust, to become bunny dust, their fic ideas now gone. Since it was dust made of a fluff bunny, it still had romantic tendencies, so Shadow13 used it to control pairings in her fic. A little sprinkling, or, in large cases, an entire bag, and the characters were woven into whatever pairing she desired. Besides which, it was a great export, and she was becoming rich because fan fic authors bought the stuff.
The fluff bunnies were always herded into the cellar – a task which Ellen particularly enjoyed – and left there until they combusted, which usually happened within a day or two. The dust was then bagged.
It could also be used somewhat like a weapon, for Shadow13 had written up a special gun that was designed to hold the leather pouches filled with dust, much like a revolver holds cartridges. The gun was then fired at the selected people. It got the same results as sprinkling dust did, but was generally more effective, so you didn't have to use as much.
"Can't the plot bunnies do this?" Lita begged.
Ellen squealed. "Yeah! Could they, Shadow? Please? Then the plot bunnies can fall in love, and we can have little bunnies!"
"No," Shadow said flatly. "You'll have to take that up with Shadow13. Besides, the plot bunnies are busy cleaning the rooms up. There's no one else to do this." Sending a glare in Lita's direction – the two constantly fought – she added "And it wouldn't hurt you to be more of a help around here. Come on, keep scooping. Then we can take these to the storage closet and be done for the day."
"Shadow! Bring me the bandages!" shouted the voice of Shadow13 from out side the cellar, up in the great hall. Shadow cringed at the sound of her voice.
"Why do I always have to wrap her head up?" she complained.
"Because you're the 'prodigy,' out of the three of us, and the one with medical training," supplied Lita, sticking her tongue out. Shadow clenched a fist, and would have punched Lita's lights out were it not for the insistent call of "Shadow!"
"I'm coming!" she called back, before wheeling on the other two. "Absolutely no horseplay. When I get back, I want to see five bags of this stuff! Understand?"
"Yes, oh royal majesty," Lita replied sarcastically.
Ellen saluted. "Got it, boss!"
Shadow turned and left the room to go get the bandages, while Ellen contemplated how much trouble she'd be in if she decided to toss one of the already filled bags at Lita's head. She privately thought it would be funny to see Lita stalked by a bunny.
To Be Continued….
Not much of a chapter, but I kinda like it. Mostly it's just a bunch of explaining, and Ego Humor. Ah well. More plotishness next time.