Jessica
0000
We had to figure out the score to When You Wish Upon A Star, backwards, or die in a complicated death trap.
Worse, I noticed Hanna Montana stirring from her beauty sleep, which potentially could mean the accidental death of us all.
My phone had run a little low on juice, so I really didn't want to use that, either. I mean, seriously, what would you read?
Okay, so maybe I could possibly type something up from memory, but...
As I pondered this, Misty took out a Dick Tracy watch, clicking the buttons. "Agent Dark Monkey! What is your status?"
The sounds of a gibbering chimp answered her.
"Ah, so you've found the address. Good work!"
Chimpanzee sounds.
"...I really don't care. Get in there any way you can. Insectia should be able to come up with something, but if she runs out of ideas, there's nothing wrong with a little brute force."
I heard a loud cracking sound.
"I sent Insectia to accompany you for a reason, Dark Monkey!" Misty scolded.
The monkey answered her with an `I'm sorry' sound.
Kurt cleared his throat impatiently.
Misty frowned. "Listen, Dark Monkey, do you know the notes to When You Wish Upon A Star?"
Hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee.
"That's really okay. We wouldn't want to derail your mission."
She glanced at the man with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I don't know that one."
She shut the device off, giving him a smile. "Unfortunately, neither does my monkey."
Looking frustrated, Kurt removed Miley's gag, asking her about the song.
Instead of screaming about the kidnapping, she said, "Wow! Kurt Russell! I've seen all your movies."
The man rolled his eyes. "Thanks. Look, we're in a tight situation, so if you want to get out of here alive, I need you to tell me if you know the complete score to When You Wish Upon A Star."
She shook her head. "No, no. I sing from a teleprompter."
But then she frowned. "Did you say When You Wish Upon A Star?"
Kurt crossed his arms and nodded.
"I'm not sure, but I kinda think I know that one backwards and forwards."
"I know it too," Chad whispered to me. "Well, parts of it..."
"Everyone knows parts of it," I snapped. "Be quiet!"
Kurt pointed to a music note on a little brass plaque in the corner. "Obviously we're at the end of the song. What goes before this note?"
Miley hummed a note, pointed to one of the doors bearing the preceding letter.
In the Cube movie, the puzzle was solved by an idiot savant, too.
We stepped into the next cube, unharmed by...whatever deadly trap that could have been there.
Misty held her watch to her ear again, listening to the squealing chimp. "Yes, yes. Get rid of all those things. We need to teach him how crippling the loss of that factory was to my personal finances. Especially those birds. Did you remember the card?"
The monkey grunted yes.
"Good, good. Now I want you to make a big mess of his place, too."
She frowned as she listened again. "What do you mean, it's already a mess?"
I tapped her on the shoulder. "He's a man, Misty. You might upset him more by cleaning up, and moving everything around where he can't find it."
"But he turns into a girl rat!"
I laughed and shook my head. "Trust me on this one. He'll be pissed."
"What about the clocks? Should I take those, too?"
"Uh..." I thought about it a moment. "I guess you could, and the cell phone charger and his calendars, but that would just be mean."
Kurt said Mickey's place was chock full of deadly traps, but we didn't have to worry about them. Miley could just take one of our pencils, draw a measure with notes in it, and point us to the appropriate room.
That may sound amazing, but I don't think she's really as talented as all that. I'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact that, for her, regurgitation is a survival skill.
In an hour, we stood in another white hallway.
"One thing that bugs me about this," I said as I followed Kurt through a gate, into another underground concrete tunnel lined with Mickey heads. "If we were in the entrance when we started, and the rooms are always moving around, couldn't we have just sat in that same room and waited for it to roll us down here?"
"I tried that," Kurt replied. "But I ended up in a room full of gay guys in baby costumes. They tried to put me in the big crib." He visibly shuddered.
As we neared the end of the tunnel, Misty stopped, talking on her Dick Tracy watch again. "Agent Dark Monkey! Status report!"
The monkey jabbered incoherently.
"...I see. Very good."
Misty stared at me. "What are those little pieces of paper with the numbers running along the bottom?"
I frowned. "Receipts?"
"They are rectangular, and have different designs on them."
"Like baseball or Pokemon cards?"
"No, those are cards."
She showed me an image.
"Oh. Those. Those are checks." I had to explain how they worked.
Misty told the monkey to do something with them, and we continued our march.
The tunnel took us to a cave-like dimly lit gray room piled full of boat parts and little broken animatronic dolls.
Judging by the ladder and the tools, it seemed to be a maintenance area, and the endlessly repeating inane music I kept hearing told me it was the Small World ride.
Hearing crying, I told Chad to bounce little Isosceles, maybe check if his diaper had been changed.
But then I noticed the crying had an unusual amplitude.
I dismissed this at first, thinking that if I were a baby being made to ride on that stupid boat, I'd cry too.
Then I looked down.
Below, piled in a big mound, lay a dozen, maybe more, children that had...strangely doodle-like characteristics.
Kind of like...Isosceles.
The crying abruptly stopped as they all turned to face me.
"My babies!" I squealed.
Chad fainted.