When Writers Go Bad: Chapter Nine
A.N.: In case anyone's interested, the goldfish named Peggy-Sue in this chapter is based off my real life goldfish of the same name.
Unfortunately for Shadow, the game did not go nearly long enough for the three alter egos to finish their chores. Sighing, she pulled out plan b.
"Alright, Ellen, you take Erik, Chauvelin, Javert, and Marius."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Lita protested. "Hold the phone! You can't give her four characters! She can barely handle a rabbit!"
"Marius is harmless," insisted Shadow.
"Hey!" Marius whined from the back of the crowd of characters who awaited their next torture. "I could be dangerous if I want to be, right? Anyone?"
"And the other three are harmless too?" continued Lita.
"Javert's not going to pull anything, Chauvelin will just pout, and Erik….."
"Yes, precisely," snapped Lita. "And Erik?"
"Look, I'm not going to kill anyone!" he insisted.
Marius was still not letting the harmless comment go. "I'm dangerous, aren't I, Cosette?"
She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "Of course, dear. I tremble whenever I see you."
"This is coming from the guy who owns a torture chamber in his house and sleeps in a coffin," Lita replied to the Phantom of the Opera. Erik sputtered, not knowing how to argue that point.
"Well, yes, but….."
"Let it go," advised Raoul. Erik just pouted.
"Well, Ellen will be fine," Shadow finally decided, brushing it off. Lita tried to protest, but she was cut off when Shadow continued dolling out who got who. "Lita, you get Christine, Valjean, and Sir Percy."
"Which leaves you," Lita determined by process of elimination, "Raoul, Cosette, and Marguerite."
"Why can't I stay with Marius?" Cosette whined.
Shadow sighed, exasperated. "What are you, glued together?"
"If we were, could we stay together?"
Shadow rubbed her face, exhausted. "I'm not going to answer that. Alright, everyone, time to work; we have chores to do."
…
"Oh, you're all such chickens!" Lita accused, while her three charges stared rather bug eyed at their task.
Into a large wading pool, a huge, gold dragon had back-winged, staring at them all with curiosity, snuffing at them.
"She's not dangerous," insisted her rider, reaching out a hand to stroke her nose. "Are you, Pridenth? No, you're mommy's ickly sweety-kins."
Christine was starting to whimper, for, as though she were trying to smile, the dragon lifted her lips over her gums, revealing several rows of pointed, white teeth. Valjean patted her arm, though he was terrified as well. Blakeney was gathering up enough courage to ask "And you want us to do what?"
"She needs a bath," Lita replied, dumping the supplies at the water's edge.
"I'm not touching that beast," insisted Valjean. Lita looked horrified.
"Shut up! You'll hurt her feelings!"
…
If the others hated their task, it was nothing compared to how much Chauvelin, Javert, Marius, and Erik loathed theirs. In a small courtyard surrounded by flowers, there was a fountain, and in the fountain were several large goldfish. Ellen had dumped several buckets of chopped pieces of fish by the fountain, and started their task: feeding the live fish the dead ones.
"That's Pete, the one over there is Roberto, the white one's Sebastian," she introduced, pointing out the fish, who looked basically all the same. "There's Peggy-Sue, that one's Trevor….."
Sighing, the men selected chunks of fish and a spot on the side of the fountain to sit on. They then dangled the pieces in the water until a fish swam up and took it from them. The fish, however, were timid, and it could take ages before they actually grabbed the food. And there was a lot of piles of fish to go through until the task was done.
"It's starting to smell…." whined Javert in the afternoon sun, holding his nose as he dipped another piece into the water.
"Come on, that's right," Marius egged a fish on. "Come here. Just a little closer." Pushed to the point of frustration, he shouted "Take it, you stupid, ugly little sardine!" The sudden noise not only frightened his own fish away, but all the other's fish as well. Marius gave a nervous little laugh as three pairs of eyes turned to stare at him, all glaring.
"I swear," seethed Chauvelin, "if you shout one more time, I'm going to have you arrested, and kissed by la Guillotine!"
Frightened half to death, Marius turned and asked Javert "That's not legal, is it?"
"If it isn't, I'm going to overlook it."
Marius now whimpered, delicately dipping the fish back into the water, privately praying.
"Isn't this fun?" Ellen asked sunnily.
"Oh, yes," agreed the Angel of Music, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Because, you know, you've never lived until you've sat motionless and fed a goldfish named Pete."
"Now what on earth's the matter with you?" demanded Chauvelin of Marius, as he was suddenly staring with terror at a fish that was approaching the food.
"It's….looking…at…me…funny," he slowly responded.
"Is he always like this?" asked Erik of Javert.
"I would imagine so. I've only met him two or three times, mind you."
"Ah."
"NOOOOOO! IT'S GOING TO BITE MY ARM OFF!"
Marius leapt screaming from the fountain, clutching his hand. The fish that had selected the food had also nibbled Marius' finger, and he'd screamed in his terror. Once again, it startled all of the fish, who darted away. Once again, three sets of eyes turned to stare at him, while he just whimpered.
"That's it!" roared Chauvelin, jumping to tackle him. Surprised, Javert remained immobile for an instant before trying to drag the accredited agent off of the young man. Erik whistled innocently and scooted away while the three duked it out, Ellen shouting for help, not knowing what else to do.
…
"I leave you with Ellen for fifteen minutes, and you're already tearing each other apart!" seethed Shadow, attending to the three's medical needs inside. Javert had a rather nasty looking bruise on his cheek, Chauvelin had a bad lump on his head, and Marius was sporting a black eye.
"He started," Chauvelin accused, pointing at Marius.
"But the fish was huge!" protested the law student. "I swear, it tried to-"
"Enough!" shouted the girl, putting a bandage wherever it was needed, handing them all ice packs. "Boy, are you all going to get it come dinner time."
All, except Erik, who was privately cheering his good luck at not getting dragged into the fray, groaned.
To Be Continued….