DREW

0000

Upon seeing my gang of rescuers, the demon laughed and brought Whiskers close to his face. "I'd like to see you try."

The moment it said this, one of the demon's calves disappeared in a spray of animated blood.

A second later, the monster's other leg disappeared in a whirl of blood and animal hide bridal train.

The demon toppled over backwards, and an ax hacked off the creature's arms, freeing me. A blazing sword sliced off the arm holding the professor, then the monster's head.

Riffraff grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me away from the bloody mess. "C'mon, house slave! There's a world that needs saving!"

He led me into the back of the Cat-Illac.

"Not that I'm complaining, but I thought I was the chauffeur."

He jumped into the driver's seat, which now had pedals stretched out to allow for his tiny form. "No offense, but you drive like an old lady."

"No skin off my nose."

I stared at Dane in her crazy shoulder pads and bikini costume. "Wow. So how did they finally convince you to come back to reality?" I paused. "Especially in that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, I don't know. First it was filling in for you at work, and then the whole part about Cool World being destroyed forever. It all kinda wrecked my day. I had to do something."

"Your boyfriend is looking for you. He volunteered to be Master Blaster's slave forever just to stay with you in Cool World."

Instead of looking worried, she just smiled. "Aww!"

My sister leaned over and grinned at me. "I told her about the Shadow Realm, and how a day here is like ten over there, and that got her really excited."

"That place was awesome!" Dane laughed.

"We should go," Whiskers said, climbing in the back with us. "The creature is already at that hotel, with the spikes!"

Riffraff started up the car.

Amanda kept gazing at me. "God, I missed you. The whole ten years we were there, I kept thinking of you."

She cleared her throat and straightened, I suppose, to not look desperate. "You're looking good.."

"Thanks, but it's only been a few hours." I adjusted my bandage. "I could be better."

Then I frowned. "You seriously didn't spend ten years in there, did you?"

"What part of awesome don't you understand?" Dane laughed. "I made the cats' wedding from scratch, no pun intended. I drew everything. Even the honeymoon suite!"

"That was a little creepy," Cleo said.

"Oh, I don't know..." Riffraff muttered as he drove off the sidewalk and onto the street. "It was kinda fun..."

Whiskers had taken a little book out of his pocket. The words on the cover read, The Spikes of Power. He muttered as he turned the pages, jotting notes with an ink pen.

I rubbed my forehead, glancing at my sister. "I still don't get it. Why were you in the Shadow Realm to begin with?"

"It was Sneezer. He came to me as a bird, begging me to take him there to rescue Cupcake, who apparently was the only one who could turn him back into a mouse, and save you."

"Wait. So Cupcake was in there the whole time?"

She frowned. "Sneezer did say you weren't thinking too clearly."

"Oh, and he would know!"

The cat took us through a wreckage strewn neighborhood.

"The rescuewas a fiasco in itself," Dane said. "He claimed that he instinctively knew her location, because he was a bird, but he didn't. After we went through the Star of David in your dad's basement, we spent days just wandering around, getting lost.

"I ended up drawing a lot of compasses with different media, like your sister's blood."

"That one actually worked," Amanda said. "But it brought us to a magical portal to the real world that closed as we approached it."

"It was like we were in that old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon or something," Dane groaned. "After we wandered around for a few weeks, Amanda here suddenly remembered that she had Cupcake's business card stuck in a secret pocket inside her thong, and I could finally..."

She shuddered. "I drew a compass on it, and right away it turned 3D and we began our five year quest to save Ms. Baby Farm. You wouldn't believe the amount of shit that went down. It was insane."

"See Cool World Issue 20," Amanda `explained.'

"Where's Hector, Wordsworth and Mungo?"

"Mungo fell in love with a barbarian," Cleo said. "Hector and Wordsworth are ruling our Shadow Realm fiefdom in our absence."

"They insisted," Riffraff said. "The girls are very pretty."

"Wow. I see you also took the car."

"Your dad had a secret garage door connected to the basement."

I rolled of my eyes. "Of course he does. So where's Sneezer?"

Amanda frowned. "I thought he rescued you."

Riffraff slammed on the brakes. "He's not with you?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. He took off when I was a birdie."

The Viking cat sighed and stepped on the gas.

"He and Cupcake were supposed to take the Mirror of Shades to your location," Amanda said.

I furrowed my brow. "I didn't see anything. The only people that rescued me were named Master Blaster and Fat Cat. Miss Terious was with them."

Everyone in the car, including the driver, turned around and gawked at me.

"Miss Terious!"

I shrugged. "She's friends with Jessica, my old girlfriend."

"That...doesn't sound good," Amanda said.

"No it doesn't," Dane agreed.

Our car rapidly approached a parked U-Haul. "Hey! Eyes on the road, cat!"

Riffraff turned back around just in time to swerve away. "Yikes!"

The next few minutes played out like a video game. As Riffraff weaved in and around cars, cars in motion, wrecked or parked, Dane, Amanda and Cleo took out guns, firing at every demon in sight with an unending stream of bullets.

Things went moderately well, and we managed to knock down a few of the beasts between a Target and a post office, but then Amanda shot the wrong demon, and it uprooted a real tree, swinging it like a baseball bat. The tree smashed across the front of our car, throwing us sideways, flipping us over.

The ink and paint car rolled into a fancy Fiat, smashing the windows, denting the doors, and setting off its alarm.

We groaned and crawled out from under our ride, staggering to our feet.

"We can still make it on foot," Whiskers muttered.

The moment he had said this large shadowy horned figures surrounded us.

Amanda and Dane pulled out their guns and fired. Cleo and Riffraff likewise drew their warrior weapons.

They slaughtered dozens of these creatures, but two dozen rushed in to take their place.

A red beast with one missing horn ripped Amanda's gun away, crushing it into dust.

A blue demon stole Dane's gun, shattering that one as well.

Riffraff sliced a black one's leg in half, but a green demon punched the cat in the face, sending him through the side of the Cat-Illac, into the trunk.

"My husband!" Cleo let out a banshee cry, swinging her glowing sword, but her bridal train got caught on something, and she was forcefully grabbed and thrown into a mob of horned creatures with a scream.

When I saw her next, she was being tied to a tree branch.

"Drew!" Amanda screamed.

I spun just in time to see a scaly horned Todd McFarlane special dragging off my sister.

"Help!"

"You're a superhero!" I called. "I'm not! Fight back!"

"I can't! I'm human! Turn into the rat and help me!"

"Amanda!"

I ran after her, punching the demon as hard as I could, but he only shoved me to the ground.

I tried again, but accomplished nothing, just like the first attempt.

I sang a song or two, focusing my thoughts on karate, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, Sneezer, anything I could think of to make myself into Kimono Rat, but I remained human.

I hadn't noticed it much before, but Holli had actually cured me. Other than a few glitches here and there, and being turned into a bird, my humanity had remained pretty consistent.

Like right now.

At the worst possible time.

Dane ran up to me with a thermos. "Here. Drink this. I'd use it myself, but it has no effect on me."

I frowned at the bottle. "What is this?"

"Holli gave it to me. She said to use it as a last resort. It's concentrated doodle. She says it will make you permanently animated."

"But that's just it! I don't think this is a last resort type of situation!"

She glanced around at the huge evil looking figures. "If you can think of a better way out, now's the time to mention it."

Hearing another scream, I turned and saw Amanda being beaten by clubs and muscular fists.

The clubs were real objects, baseball bats, pieces of wood.

Amanda could die.

As I watched this scene with a growing sense of helplessness, I heard yet another scream, this one right next to me.

They had grabbed Dane.

I turned the thermos over in my hands, my heart sinking in dismay.