The guy was about to cut my sister open. I didn't have a lot of options.

I guess I did have some allies with me, but this was a hostage situation, and big demonic thugs were everywhere, presumably to back him up.

Despite Master Splinter's warnings, I crept out from behind the sign.

"At last," Myxo growled. "Our little eco-terrorist shows himself."

The ghastly rabbit stood in a fenced in playground, in front of one of those geodesic dome thingies made of monkey bars. A couple bulky looking demons amused themselves by playing on the metal spring rocking horses nearby.

I glared at the `judge.' "Let her go! I'm the one who organized the attack on C.C. Knicknocker. She was only following my orders."

"That may be so, but your sister and I have a history, and it doesn't feel good when you and your friends shoot me full of bullets."

I approached the rabbit with my hands raised, because it was expected.

"Yes. Come closer."

"Wait," I said as I stepped through the gate. "Aren't you supposed to be allied with Miss Terious, and not Ms. Evil Bird Queen and her demonic henchmen?"

"This isn't about either one of them. This is about revenge!"

The moment I passed the demons astride their majestic fiberglass steeds, the rabbit quoted Beefheart lyrics again.

"Green inflated trees balloon into marshmallow soot, that walks away in faulty circles, caught in grey blisters with twinkling lights and green sashes pulled by rubber dolphins with gold yawning mouths that blister and break in agony."

I looked down and found myself unaffected.

I crept closer.

"The camel wore a nightie, at the party of special things to do. When the stiff wind blows, the flag don't wiggle in the part of special things to do."

I was still a rat. The loss of my humanity saddened me, but here it was a strength.

I sang Beefheart's Observatory Crest, something I had on my mix CD, but hadn't thought about until then.

The rabbit glared at me. "I see you've inoculated yourself against the psychedelic lyrics. No matter. This rabbit still has other tricks up his sleeve."

I marched closer. "So do I."

In one swift movement, I had my hand around the rabbit's knife wielding claw, elbowing him in the stomach.

My sister wiggled free, snatching up a real pistol that had been dropped next to a nearby jungle gym.

Myxo backhanded me across the face, creating a row of artful slash marks across my cheeks. If I were real, it would have just been an ugly wound. "You think you've outsmarted me, but you're no more clever or powerful than you were before."

And then he quoted headlines at me.

"A woman who found her seventeen month old son dead in her hot stuffy car after she worked her seven hour shift as a Hooters waitress has been arrested."

"What?" I said, blinking in confusion.

"A twelve year old California boy was strangled by rope in his family's kitchen, apparently the latest victim of a teen fad known as `the choking game.'"

I laughed. "Seriously? You're going to Dan Rather me to death?"

"Three dead, seven hurt when gunman opens fire in Lafayette movie theater," Myxo said, looming over me. "Gunman turns `Batman' screening into real life `horror film.' A terrorist group posted a graphic video online Tuesday that showed the beheading of missing American journalist James Foley."

None of this material was funny. Myxo had intentionally chosen it that way to get to me.

I flickered real for a second. As reassuring as it was to know I was still human, at the moment, it proved to be extremely inconvenient.

"Amanda was right. I shouldn't listen to you."

And then I delivered a loaf of Kung Fu, knocking him backwards over the geodesic dome.

I jumped on the dome, leaping down on the `judge', but he was stronger, and I ended up getting thrown onto a seesaw.

"A twenty five year old Baltimore man died Sunday, a week after an encounter with police that left him with a severed spine."

Myxo stomped on the other end of the seesaw, quoting a depressing statistic about unemployment. I flew into the air and fell back down as a noid, wincing at the pain it caused my head.

"Oh. It seems I have touched a nerve." He stomped the seesaw again. "Unemployment!"

My head throbbed with searing pain. I saw stars. Don't listen! I thought. Think about something else!

"Unarmed Maryland teen fatally shot by police officer, police claim he was `whipping his hand around.'"

He quoted something else about job losses, then about the Affordable Healthcare Act, but I focused my thoughts on my sister.

My sister!

The ball game. And what happened afterwards.

I thought about Extra and the first time I kissed Sneezer.

Sure, those weren't the coolest memories, and they were even a little bit disturbing, but maybe that was exactly what I needed.

Fur exploded from my arms like sped up timelapse footage of grass growing. The kimono whirled around me.

In one speedy but graceful motion, I leapt into the air (from the supine position, no less) rolling into a ball like Sonic the Hedgehog.

When I pounded down on my end of the seesaw, the other end slammed upwards into the Judge's crotch. He shrieked in pain.

"Blister and break that in agony," I mocked.

I leapt again, doing that frozen flying crane kick they often do in The Matrix.

My foot connected to the rabbit's head, and I did that bicycle kick thing they do in Kung Fu movies and video games, knocking him backwards across the playground.

He hit a tetherball pole, and, amazingly enough, the tetherball swung around and hit him in the head a second later.

Old Myxo was no push over. After having his ass kicked into a pole, he snapped back suddenly, pounding me with his fists, hacking me with his claws, slashing large rips into my kimono.

I blocked his attacks the best I could with my karate skills, but I tripped over a railroad tie at the edge of the jungle gym and fell backwards into the sand box.

Myxo drew a giant sword out of his robe, one which he probably could have used on my sister or me earlier, but for some reason hadn't.

He raised the blade, brought it down, but the jungle gym was in the way, so he cut that in half instead of me, losing too much momentum to take care of both at once.

I kicked him in the crotch, but before I could rise up to strike him a second time, he stomped me in the gut, raising the sword again.

I stared up in helpless terror, silently praying that either the sword or I would be animated enough to prevent a fatality. Somehow, I couldn't imagine either one of those things happening.

I thought this was it. Myxo was going to take that big sword and chop me in half.

I flinched as the sharp real looking blade swung down.

A moment later, something sharp and pointy jutted out of his chest.

Myxo's eyes widened in shock, staring at it. Green blood oozed out the wound.

I craned my neck a little and saw a small feline Viking waving at me.

Following this, a pair of sai buried themselves into his body, then my sister popped up behind him, pointing a real pistol at his head.

"Sorry, Judge," she growled as she clicked back the hammer. "You've been disbarred."

She pulled the trigger, and the rabbit exploded into ash.