For the first time since they became roommates, Glinda was awake before Elphaba. As she was fastening the strap on her shoe she saw Elphie stir. She heard her roomie groan slightly when she sat up looking around. "Glinda?" I'm here Elphie, I'm here" said the blonde "Are you ok? "Let's see, I was attacked yesterday, I'm covered with bruises and in pain, I had the first nightmare of my life, and my pillow smells like your perfume- I'm terrific" she said sarcastically. "Glad to see you are getting back to normal" chuckled Glinda. Elphaba moaned as she tried to stand and Glinda rushed over to help. "Really Glinda, I'm not an invalid" She snapped, brushing off her roomies help and sitting back down, her face flush with pain. Unfazed, Glinda walked over to the table and poured the last of the cider into a glass and brought it to Elphaba along with some pain pills " Here honey, take these. "Stop coddling me—please" she said tersely. Glinda put the pills and cider on the nightstand and sat down on her bed. "Elphaba, what's the matter?" she asked quietly "You are, I am, everything is" she spat back. "I see…just take your pills. You've got enough to deal with- you don't need pain too" she replied gently. Elphaba shook her head, "Maybe I do" she said very softly-" maybe I need it, maybe I deserve it." "Don't be ridiculous Elphie, nobody deserves pain, even a difficult sort like you. - The green girl had managed to stand up and was heading towards the bathroom. "I'm going down to get us some breakfast, and you something to drink-don't forget to put ointment on your bruises." She called airily. "Will you please leave me alone- just go! " Elphaba yelled and slammed the door. Being used to her roomies sulks and moods, Glinda just left. As she headed to the café she thought "She's angry-understandably so- At least she knows how to express that emotion- maybe this will be a good thing. Although it's not going to be pleasant," she said to no one.
Elphaba heard the front door shut "Finally" she breathed. Arrrrrrrgh" she screamed pounding the counter top. " I can't do this- I can't stand this" Anger clutched her chest- she felt like she was going to explode. She closed her eyes and willed herself to calm down, She shouldn't have snapped at Glinda- the girl was only trying to help. "I hate that," she thought bitterly. She was glad that Glinda had held her and talked her through her nightmare. "I hate that too" She eased herself on to the stool. The throbbing pain between her legs was worse today, as were the bruises. She sighed as she applied some of the ointment to the bruises on her thighs "I hate this too" she said out loud.
She didn't hear Glinda come back in and the soft knock on the door startled her "Elphie, Is everything ok? "Peachy and hunky-dory" she replied with as much sarcasm as she could muster. She heard Glinda sigh loudly and walk away. "I'll be out in a minute" she called, trying to mitigate the hateful words. When she came out of the bathroom she saw Glinda sitting at the table, daintily munching on a muffin and sipping tea. She had put a fluffy pillow on the chair opposite her. In spite of herself she smiled inwardly and sat down. Glinda assessed her roomie, pain etched her face, and anger filled her eyes. "Let the games begin" she thought
"Muffin?" she asked, offering up the basket "Munchkinberry today- warm and yummy" Elphie just shook her head. "I got you some milk- ice cold, at least drink something" More head shaking "Elphaba-what is going on with you?" Elphie got up faster than she had intended and had to stifle a yelp of pain. "I'm angry Glinda, at everything. " "Of course you are honey-it's o…. "Galinda so help me if you say it's ok, I swear I will move out. It is not ok, and you are making it worse not better- just stop- stop" She was pacing now, venom seeping into her words. " I don't need your help- I don't want it –Leave it be, do you understand you little twit."
She glared at her roommate- fully expecting her to burst into tears. Instead the small blonde rose and walked over to her, stood on her tiptoes and looked up directly into her eyes. Her eyes were determined, her voice calm and steady. "Elphaba Thropp, If you think you are going to intimidate me or hurt me, you are sadly mistaken. I have been the target of your cruelty on occasions to numerous to count. I know you are angry, I'm angry too. But you need this anger to get through all of this. " Elphaba arched her eyebrows, but said nothing "Give me some credit Elphie- I do know you, I knew this was coming last night. " Elphie's face darkened " You know me huh? You know I hate all of this, You know I am most angry at you-you know I don't want you here" "I'll not be driven away Elphaba, I am not leaving you no matter how far you push me away. I told you we would deal with this how you are able, well, this is how you are able. Rant, rave, and swear if you must, aim it at me if that's what it takes"- Glinda was truly angry, Elphie had never heard her like this. "I am furious Glinda but I can't let all of this go, I have no idea where it would lead and I can't be responsible for what it would do to you." " I'm not asking you to be!" Glinda fired back, her words tight. "I am here; you can't hurt me with this, because I will not allow it. Now, Get angry at it, say what you will, get it all out- Deal with it the only way you know how. But first…" She stalked over to the table dragging the stunned and infuriated green girl with her. "Drink this milk. And take these damned pain pills, or I will not be held responsible for my actions." "Elphaba grabbed the glass and the pills. "If I take these, will you shut up?" "Yes, for the time being" Elphaba gulped down the pills and drained the glass. "Happy now?" she sneered "Ecstatic" Glinda said as she went over and sat in her pink fluffy comfy chair to wait for Mount St. Elphaba to blow.
Elphaba paced the floor seething. As much as she hated to admit it right now, Glinda was right. She knew this feeling, understood it, what she didn't understand was the comforting. "Glinda I want no more comforting from you- no hugs, no "Oh Elphies" no sympathy at all- Got it, " I understand sweetie, No sympathy- Not 'til you say it's ok" Glinda said in her sweetest voice. "I mean it Glinda I can't handle it. I never had affection like this as a kid it just…." Elphaba unleashed anger about her upbringing, her family. Pacing fists clinched. "Bullseye" thought Glinda. She sat watching her tightly wound roomie pace and rant, not really listening until"… and I always had control until you took it away" "Elphaba, what are you talking about?" "You took my choice, away, my control- you made me tell you about the attack. She glared. "Elphie " Glinda said sternly, walking over to her "The men who raped you robbed you of your choice and control, but only temporarily. I gave you an option to regain it. You were in shock- frightened. I gave you a safe haven to take back control by telling someone about it-getting it out; it was very brave of you to face it down. I did not take your control- nor did I give it back- you took it back yourself- you have power over yourself again. " Elphaba had moved away while Glinda was talking, but for a brief moment Elphie's eyes softened and she gave an almost imperceptible nod. "Good- she understands that," thought Glinda happily. "How dare those men take from me what was only mine to give…" another cathartic rant ensued. Elphaba sat on the bed punching pillows- alternating between fury and despair, Glinda kept close tabs, inserting a comment here and there to keep Elphie's rage focused where it needed to be, and not directed at herself-not yet anyway.
"Arrrrrrrgggghhh" Elphie screamed suddenly and jumping up, causing Glinda to flinch" "Will I ever get a handle on all of this? "Resisting the urge to run over and hug the trembling girl, Glinda said "Elphie- who are you really angry at? - Think about it" Elphie sat on the bed, her anger ebbing slightly. Say it out loud Elphaba, Get angry at it and deal with it like you've done the rest. Do it" " I can't" frustration crept into her voice"
If you don't all of this will be for nothing- Glinda said firmly. "Elphaba, you are strong enough to finish this- so do it." "I'm mad at myself, alright I'm mad at myself" Glinda nodded- "Bingo!" she thought "I know, intellectually none of this is my fault, but I am so angry I didn't fight harder, That I caved in to you. I'm angry I wasn't strong enough to deal with this by myself- I've always been able to handle anything." Glinda's heart was breaking, but she stayed away " I'm so angry I that I needed you to hold me, to help me, I'm angry at myself because you cared about me, and I let you do it. She was rambling now, pacing the floor. She continued on in this vain for a few minutes more "…and I'm angry that I'm afraid" "What are you afraid of Elphie? -Name it and remove it's power" Her anger had drained off "I'm afraid I'll never feel right again, that I'll always be fearful and weak. I'm afraid I just don't know how to care or be cared for. I'm afraid to let anyone love me- and that I can't love. She had been pacing, but now she stopped and looked at Glinda. "I'm afraid that I won't need you and terrified that I will. She fell to the floor in a green heap. "This hurts so much" she whispered " It's all out now. It has no power over you now.." Whispered Glinda gently" Let it hurt. Don't fight this Elphaba go with it. - I'll be back soon, I promise." With that Glinda did the hardest thing she had ever done. She walked out, leaving the women she loved to finish fighting her demons alone."