Chapter Eight: If Only...
A/N: Definitely meant to publish this earlier but didn't get around to it...
Around ten the next morning, Lucy arrives to see Natsu already present and Erza coming up to arrive at ten on the dot, and she is sure Gray is racing to get here on time.
"I am surprised you are still so punctual." Erza says as she approaches Natsu. "I assumed after seven years you would have become… lazy in that aspect."
"Then you assumed wrong." He says as he shrugs his large pack off his shoulder onto the nearest bench. "You wouldn't believe it, but I had to become the new you or everyone would have been late to missions." He says and they both laugh.
"Ah, yes, I understand that fear. The fear of disappointing our clients and shaming the guild."
"Yeah." The pinkette then agrees. "I kind of feel bad about it now, but it's the only reason Droy isn't late to jobs anymore." At his words, Erza blatantly laughs out loud.
"The same could be said of you and Gray."
"Hey, wait, I wasn't late to jobs!"
"Only because of Happy." Lucy then says and they both laugh at the pinkette.
"I'M HERE! I'M HERE and on TIME DAMMIT!" Gray hollers as he races up to the trio, his bag probably missing necessities that he will definitely care about in a week or so.
"Actually, you are late, Gray." Erza says and a dark aura grows around her. The ice mage looks to Lucy for aid but the blond steps back. "But, I will let it slide. This time." The ice mage sighs in an exhilarating release of fear, a few small tremors still running down his spine.
"Where are Ultear and Wendy?"
"It is not like Wendy to be late."
"Yeah, and Ultear is only late because of Sonya." He says and the three look at him.
"Then why are you on time?" Gray asks as he crosses his arms.
"She's more used to me heading off. And the both of us leaving together makes it worse." He says with a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair. "She gets scared when Ultear leaves because someone always seems to get hurt when Crime Sorciere heads off. So it takes a while." The trio share a look of guilt as they process his words. Selfishly, they are taking these two parents away from their daughter.
"Have you two gone off together before?"
"Only a few times." The pinkette responds as he thinks on it. "If Jellal needs both of us for something." He says but then shrugs. "But I trust Meredy, and her and Sonya have gotten close, so it's fine." For Natsu's words of comfort, the three of them don't feel as comforted as the pinkette may want them to be, but they plaster on smiles regardless. If he's okay with it, they can be okay with it.
They then see Ultear and Wendy coming towards them, lost in an unheard conversation. Sonya is holding Ultear's hand while Jellal seems to be coming along as company. As Natsu sees them, the three can notice his demeanor slightly change at the sight of his daughter and her mother. He heads over to meet them and immediately picks Sonya up, and the girl's giggles float through the air.
"I feel kinda bad. Keeping both of them from Sonya for three months." Lucy says with a cringe in her eyes. They then notice that, after a moment, Natsu sheepishly sets Sonya back on the ground and pats her head.
"Yes. I should discuss with Jellal about bringing her up at some point."
"Yeah. That would be nice." She agrees and Erza takes no time in walking over to Jellal, obviously seeming all business. "Does she seem… off to you?"
"Yeah. She hasn't been able to catch up with Jellal yet, so it's probably upset her." Gray says matter-of-factly and Lucy gains a small smile.
"You don't think she's… jealous, do you?"
"Who would she be jealous of?" He asks as he crosses his arms, seeming to mock her.
"Of Jellal and Natsu. They seem pretty close, don't they." The two then watch as, even though Erza is speaking with Jellal, Jellal and Natsu keep sending each other glances unreadable to everyone watching. "She's jealous of their friendship."
"You might be onto something."
"Are you going to bug her about it?" She then turns to Gray, fear buried in her eyes.
"Not directly." He then decides as a smirk grows on his face.
"Just don't get her mad at me." Lucy says and looks to Wendy. "You don't want in on that, do you?" She asks and the bluette fervently shakes her head. Just then, Erza comes back to the group and Lucy takes care to not notice how she looks back to Jellal and Natsu conversing. "What'd he say?"
"He said he would ask Natsu about it. But I believe the thought had already occurred to him." Erza sounds like her normal self, but Lucy can hear the slight sadness in her tone.
"But what if he's only bringing it up because of you? That counts for something, right?"
"Yes, I suppose it does." She says with a smile. Ultear and Natsu then come up to them, waving goodbye to Jellal and Sonya in the process.
"Happy, keep an eye on her, okay bud!" Natsu says, and Ultear laughs at him.
"AYE AYE SIR!" Happy shouts back from his spot in Sonya's arms.
"That will keep him busy." Ultear says and raises her brow at the pinkette.
"And happy." Natsu points out as he grabs his bag. "Come on, let's go! Where're we headed, Luce?" Lucy holds up the tickets in her hand and waves them in front of her face.
"You'll see!" She says and they can all feel the excitement radiating off of her. They follow her onto the train with Natsu and Ultear trailing in the back. On the train, Natsu sits by the window, and although his face has a hint of green, he doesn't seem to have it as bad as seven years prior.
"You have gotten better, I see." Erza notices from her spot across from him.
"Ah, yeah. For the most part." And the conversation goes stale. Ultear and Natsu seem content with the silence and simply hold each others hands as a form of comfort, which makes Gray more uncomfortable. He keeps shifting, his eyes always flicking back to the two as he is also sitting across from them.
"So Natsu," Wendy then speaks and he looks to her, "I'm guessing you haven't found anything on the dragons, have you?" he gives her a half smile and shakes his head.
"No. I leave that more to Jellal and Sonya now, really. They are very motivated so I let them have their fun."
"Are you not looking anymore?" Lucy then asks and Ultear looks to her side to make eye contact with the blond.
"I had this same conversation with him." Natsu then sends Ultear a half-heated glare.
"Wait, so you actually aren't?" Wendy's question is full or fear and utter disbelief. Carla pats her leg as a form of comfort but also sends Natsu a half-heated glare. "Why? It's Igneel." Natsu presses his lips in a straight line as he remembers how he was seven years ago. How driven he had been, and Wendy's wound is far fresher than his own.
"As I see it, there's a reason he left." Natsu says simply and he sighs as he looks back to Wendy. "He is my dad. I do miss him and would love for Sonya to meet him, but I am a father myself. I want to be better than him, and that includes not leaving all the time on searches for him." Wendy looks down to her feet upon processing his words, suddenly very silent. "Hey, Wen, look at me." She obeys and he sees her brow drawn tight in confusion. "For the past three years, Jellal has been looking. And he's found some interesting things. I'll ask him to show you guys, okay? Just because I've stopped looking doesn't mean you should. She's still your mom."
"Okay. Thank you." Her voice is soft and sounds more lost than Natsu would like.
"You're welcome." He says but as she looks down at her lap his brows draw tight revealing his internal conflict.
"How the hell could you stop looking?" Gray says, suddenly heated after Natsu thought the conversation was over.
"I already said-"
"And I call bullshit. You said Sonya is even searching, so go out with her to look. It's that simple."
"It isn't, Gray."
"How?"
"Well, I can't really go anywhere with her." He half laughs to try and make the conversation lighter but Gray just purses his lips in confusion.
"What?" Natsu then sighs, realizing that he opened a whole new topic.
"Outside of Magnolia, I can't be with Sonya. Ultear and I have too many enemies, plus I think Sonya's magic alone is going to make her a target. So we're trying to keep her out of the public eye. And to do that, we can't be in public with her."
"But you seemed very open with her." Erza says, recalling every instance she had seen them together.
"In the guild, it's easy. Magnolia can be a bit difficult, the train station is the worst since anyone can be there. But we've learned to be careful."
"What are you gonna do during the games?" Lucy then asks and she nibbles on her lip in worry. "She'll be coming, I don't think you could stop her."
"We'll probably have Bisca and Alzack take care of her." Ultear says to give Natsu a break.
"Does she know?" Gray asks, easing his way back into the conversation, flipping once again to a lighter tone. "Does she know you can't be in public together?"
"Not yet." Natsu admits and he runs his fingers through his hair. "We're gonna talk to her about it before we head to Crocus."
"Next stop, Clover Town." The train informs them and Natsu sends a knowing look to Lucy.
"So, Clover Town, huh? I thought I made my point."
"What point?" She says innocently as the train stops. "Come on guys!" She leads with Wendy and Erza following after. Gray is a bit slow and Natsu nods to Ultear. After a moment, she heads off as well and leaves the two males alone.
"What." He states more than asks and crosses his arms. Gray grabs his bag in silence and slings it over his shoulder. He looks to Natsu, the emotions Natsu expects to see remain hidden behind a mask.
"I'm still mad at you." He says and his mask cracks a bit as he clenches his strap a little too tightly. "What makes me the angriest is that you know, you've known the truth for a long time, you asshole. And you've been making Fairy Tail worry about you for the past who knows how long. They've been thinking you've felt guilty this whole time, when you know. And I can't forgive you for that. It was tearing them apart." The pinkette sighs as he slings his own bag onto his shoulder.
"I don't expect you to understand-"
"So you're adulting so hard you can say that to me? Right now? Aren't we family? Weren't we rivals? Brothers?" He seethes, the mask cracking with every word. "I can't believe I even had to say that out loud! How are you so distant?" The word distant is said with such confused disdain that Natsu honestly doesn't know what to say.
"I mourned for you." The words catch them both off-guard. Natsu takes a slow breath in thought and they both hardly acknowledge the last call for Clover Town. Slowly they make their way down the aisle, side by side. "I did. It felt like I lost a brother even before you died. And when you guys died… I did feel guilty. I thought that maybe, if I had been there, you would have made it. It was a dragon, for Mavis' sake. I'm not so full of myself to think I could have done it alone. But with one more person fighting? We'll never know, but I do feel guilty. So I guess I didn't make Fairy Tail needlessly worry." As Natsu finishes up they make their way off the train and towards their group.
"This isn't over."
"I know." But they both acknowledge that, for the moment, they are satisfied. They again follow Lucy to a nice hotel and she sheepishly looks to her group.
"I wasn't sure how many rooms to get, so I got two. But if you want, you can get a separate one." She says to Ultear and Natsu. Natsu flicks his eyes to Gray for a moment, acutely aware that they would have a room to themselves, and gives a slight sigh.
"I'm okay with two." Ultear says and flicks her eyes to Natsu for a moment. "I'd like to get to know you more. There are some embarrassing stories only you two can tell me."
"We've been together for years, aren't you out of that stage?"
"Yes, but that doesn't make it less fun." She admits with a wink and Lucy gives the pinkette his room key.
"Don't worry Natsu, we won't say anything too bad." She says but the devilish smirk gives her away.
"Of course not." His tone gives away that he knows what's up. Natsu then looks to Gray and waves the key. "This way." And the two groups head to their rooms, Lucy already starting the train of stories Natsu is sure Ultear will bring up later.
"Maybe I should give them a few stories of my own." Gray says while stroking his chin in thought.
"Don't you dare." Natsu says although there's a laugh in his tone. He opens the door and it's a plain room with two twin sized beds, which they both sigh in relief upon seeing. Natsu drops his bag at the foot of one bed, Gray at the other, and they both lay on their respective beds.
In the girls room, Lucy is finishing up a story of how Natsu had broken into her house. This time, it is after she had told him he was making her go broke from eating all of her food. And he thought the best solution would be to stock her kitchen. However, he and Happy were the ones to go shopping and they had stocked it with absurd things like a freezer full of fish, some steaks, matches, more assorted meats, and one pack of strawberries.
"But, after I kicked them out, the next morning I found some ice cream in my freezer and less fish."
"That's both adorable and stupid." Ultear admits and the four laugh.
"Very stupid."
"I always thought Natsu was smart." Wendy says shyly and they all look to her.
"How?" Erza asks bluntly and they chuckle.
"Well, in fights he's brilliant. He just didn't have the best social skills, I don't think. I didn't either. You should have seen me when I first entered society." She says, suddenly remembering that very awkward faze. Even Carla doesn't know about how she had initially been loud, too loud in fact as she took some time to understand the concept of an 'inside voice.' After all, with a dragon she always had to be loud to be completely and clearly understood.
"Yeah, that's how he always defends himself when I bring it up. He just took a long time to grow out of it."
"Too long." Erza states and again they laugh at the pinkettes plight. In the other room, Natsu sneezes and Gray kicks at the pinkette with a grumble about idiots not being able to get sick, so he better not get him sick.
"Okay, Ultear, you have to tell us how you two got together." Lucy then asks and suddenly Ultear finds herself surrounded by the three girls. They ignore Carla's scoff and grumbling in the background.
"Can I see your ring?" Erza then asks and Ultear sighs.
"We're not married." She says and they lean back to give her some space but the demand in their eyes is clear. "It was a mutual decision. We don't want to risk that right now."
"How is right now different from later?" Lucy asks and her words seem to be full of wisdom. Ultear pauses for a moment and looks to her left hand where she imagines a ring will someday belong.
"Right now, Sonya is too young and her magic is not yet fully developed."
"And your marriage relies on that?" Wendy then questions, hugging a pillow to her chest so she can rest her head on it.
"No." Ultear says in a sigh. "But we're worried about what her magic may mean. We'll do what we have to for her. But we also have our responsibilities."
"How are you no longer an outlaw?" Erza asks suddenly, apparently hitting the nail on the head as Ultear's eyes widen before softening.
"We made Crime Sorciere legal. So long as we're helping demolish Dark Guilds, we're in the clear. I don't know how long I have to do this for, but..."
"But if Sonya needs to go into hiding, you can't go with her, or you'll become a fugitive again." Lucy finishes the sentence and Wendy gasps.
"So if she needs to go, Natsu would take her and you two would have to split up?" Erza then adds and Ultear nods.
"Exactly. Add on to the dangerous life style and we're in too big of a mess to get married."
"Eventually Sonya is gonna start asking the hard questions."
"She already has. Natsu is surprisingly good at diverting the conversation."
"When do you think her magic will develop?" Erza asks and Ultear plays with some strands of hair.
"Within the year. She's been saying some interesting things that we're sure have to do with her magic."
"I'm excited for her. And you guys. If it all goes well, within a year I expect a wedding." Erza then says, her eyes glowing in the wake of a mission. "The most beautiful wedding to grace this land!"
"I'll let you orchestrate it then, Erza. If all goes well."
"It would be my honor." The knight says as she places a hand on her heart.
With Natsu and Gray, a similar conversation occurs.
"So you and Ultear have a kid, but you aren't married." Gray says from his bed.
"Yup."
"Why?"
"Why the kid? Well, it happens when two people-"
"No, you dumbass." Gray then sighs and rolls so he's looking at Natsu. "And how the hell did you even get together?" Natsu then rolls and props his head on his head so they make eye contact.
"You actually wanna know?"
"I kinda do." Gray admits. "She's like my sister, and you're… yeah. So I don't really want to know, but at the same time, she's really important to me and obviously you're important to her."
"Wow. This must be so weird for you." Gray grumbles but doesn't say anything. "Okay, well, a little after I returned to Fairy Tail, I guess she heard I had returned."
"Ultear, really, how did you meet?" Lucy asks, and again they lean forward.
"Well, after Tenrou, I had been trying to find a way to help Fairy Tail, but I knew they wouldn't accept me."
"She came to my house, which is where I stayed after the park."
Ultear was lost. Both her and Meredy had decided that they wanted to help Fairy Tail, but they had no idea how. They couldn't travel by train, so they mostly walked wherever they were going and heard news from the people they passed. Eventually, she hears something about Natsu Dragneel staying in Magnolia trying to help the guild. Immediately her and Meredy go to Magnolia, but he is harder to find then they had thought. Finally, they find his house, and Ultear has Meredy stay away. She is honestly afraid of how the interaction is going to go. But her only way to help Fairy Tail would be through him.
Ultear knocks on the front door, and she can hear something clang inside which makes her chuckle. She had scared the poor pinkette without even trying! Natsu just swings the door open, and he looks like he has seen better days. His hair's a wreck, he has bags under his eyes, and he's in dirty, loose fitting clothing.
"Sorry. I'm trying to clean this place up," he admits with a sheepish grin, "I haven't been here for months, it's a wreck. Never put a tree in the middle of a house." He then advises with a laugh, but Ultear is in no laughing mood. He then sniffs the air and his eyes narrow in their draconic way, suddenly more wary of the person standing in his doorway. As soon as Ultear sees his eyes narrow, she thinks he has her pegged and immediately falls to her knees. She hardly pays attention to the physical pain the mental torment becomes overwhelming.
"I'm sorry!" She places her forehead on the grass. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry." She forgets about Fairy Tail and begins seeking Natsu's forgiveness. She had helped in getting him excommunicated, she helped bring down this guild, she tried to kill his closest friends. She-
"Hey, come on now, I'm sure it's alright." He says and bends down to her level. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder and smiles. "Come inside. It's not so bad now."
"No, I can't." She says without looking up.
"Well why not?"
"I shouldn't."
"That's for me to decide, not you."
"You don't know me." She finally looks up and his head is tilted in an adorably confused manner.
"Come on." And she listens this time. He helps her up and brings her inside. It's still a slight wreck but not as much as before, and she sits at his table as he brews some coffee. "I don't have much, but coffee always works, right?"
"I was there." Her voice is monotone, distant, and Natsu pauses, his back to her. "I was on Tenrou."
"Who are you." He says as he slowly places a mug on the counter he's working at. Ultear trembles, fully aware of Natsu's strength and the added power his emotions have on his fire.
"Ultear Milkovich." She says as she looks down, her hands trembling on the table. "I..."
"Ur's daughter?" Natsu asks as he turns around, and she looks up at him with matching wide eyes. They make eye contact and Natsu's brows draw in. "I thought she was dead."
"My... mother dropped me off at a place, because I was sick." She says, only slightly questioning why she is saying all of this. "They told her I was dead, but they just kept me." She then looks down. "I thought she left me." Ultear heaves a heavy sigh but the edge of a blue mug is placed in her field of vision. She looks up to see Natsu set the cup in front of her.
"Damn." He says and she cracks a smile, having temporarily forgotten everything as she looks into his eyes. "So, why are you here? My house isn't easy to find." She then pauses, hands wrapped around the mug as the warmth comforts her.
"I want to help Fairy Tail."
"I'm not a member."
"I know, but you want to help them too, right?"
"Of course." he says as he sits down, his green mug of coffee in hand. They look at each other, both aware that they don't care about the coffee anymore. "But why do you want to help them?" He then narrows his eyes. "Why were you on Tenrou?" She looks down to her coffee.
"I… was your enemy."
"Why were you on Tenrou." He says, words sharper, needing an answer immediately.
"I was a member of Grimoire Heart." She says and winces at the silent response. "I fought your guild. Gray… defeated me, and I escaped. I didn't know about Acnologia-"
"Get out." Natsu says and she looks up but can't see his eyes through the shadow his bangs have cast.
"Natsu-" She begins, recalling that time he had been her enemy and hoping it doesn't happen again. She isn't sure she has the heart to, and isn't sure if she'd even have a chance at winning.
"I said GET OUT!" He roars and she hurriedly stands.
"I'm sorry! I am! I want to make it up-"
"Never come back here." She then looks to see the red shine of his eye and in that second feels the fear she had expected to feel when she met Zeref himself.
"I'm sorry." Are the last words she says as she slips through the doorway. And as she heads back to Magnolia, hood now on her head, she can hear the angry cries of a dragon too conflicted to enact revenge.
"Wow." Gray says in awe as Natsu tells of how he couldn't find it in himself to attack her. He couldn't find it in himself to follow her, to harm her.
"Yeah. So that's how we met."
"Did she come back?"
"Isn't that obvious?" Natsu says and lays on his back. "Eventually, she did."
"You didn't give up, did you." Lucy asks Ultear and the woman shakes her head.
"I was scared, but I think I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He sympathized with me, and eventually let me back in his house again. And I helped him help Fairy Tail. He helped me break Jellal out and form Crime Sorciere. He got Fairy Tail's help in making Crime Sorciere legal."
A/N: Wow, after being gone for so long, the response to chapter seven cheered me up. You lovely loyal people are my pack that I always return to. Thank you all so much, really, I mean it. Now! Onto the next chapter! Hopefully it comes faster than this one had. Til next time, see ya!