Glinda, still frightened, could do nothing but stare at her friend for a long time, Elphie held her gaze, experiencing her friends fright.
"Elphie, I don't understand, where were you? What happened?"
"Don't try to understand, my sweet- not now, not yet- just know that I did what I needed to do to be able to reciprocate your feelings towards me."
Elphaba tried to shift her position, but after being in one place for so long, she was griped by a flash of pain, and cried out.
"Elphie!" Glinda leapt up to aide the green girl, then ran over to get her pills and something to wash them down with.
"Take these." Elphaba didn't fuss; she took the pills and smiled warmly at her still stunned roomie.
"I'm sorry – I was talking out loud, I needed to hear my own thoughts, test how it sounded, one last chance to be sure. I wasn't talking to you as much as I was talking to my self, but I knew you were there, I've been keenly aware of your presence since you called my name."
"Elphie I had no idea, you were so… so"
"Insane, screwed up, irreparable, unredeemable" Elphie volunteered.
"Lost" Glinda finished, feeling her equilibrium returning
Elphaba cocked an eyebrow, nodded and smiled. "That I was, but not anymore. I feel a lot of things now, but not lost."
Glinda looked like she was about to explode. "I'm getting another headache" she sighed.
"My precious Glinda" Elphie said drawing her into an embrace "this was so unfair for you- I know that. You're one of the few people whose feelings actually mattered to me- but I wasn't thinking about that. You probably need to process this as much as I needed to."
"Yes I do," she said pulling away, sounding slightly angry.
"And we will, you can tell me anything you need to, and I'll answer whatever you ask" she kissed Glinda's forehead and brushed hair out of her eyes. "But unfortunately, not right now"
"What?" Glinda was truly irritated now " For hours I thought you were going to slip into a coma or leave or- I don't even know. You go from Zombie Elphie to calm cool collected Elphie in a span of 15 minutes and now you want to blow me off." Her voice had raised an octave, which it tended to do when she was angry.
"No Glinda, no- I need to talk to you as much as you need to talk to me. But if I miss my next class again, Madame Head is going to start nosing around and asking questions- and more important I need to separate from all of this for just a little while- please don't be angry with me "
Glinda looked at her friend, she looked exhausted and tears were forming in her eyes. Glinda reached up and wiped them away, then hugged her.
"Elphie of course I'm not angry, just confused. I was being selfish, I'm sorry."
"Afternoon classes are canceled today, so we will meet for lunch and talk as long as you need to. - Ok?
Glinda sat on the bed, rubbing her forehead; Elphaba went over and sat down with her,
"I caused this," she said kissing her forehead again, longer this time,
"No you didn't Elphie- ok well, maybe a little, but it's going away- Momsie always said kissing a hurt makes it all better"
"Then I am happy to oblige," she said placing another gentle kiss on her roomies forehead.
"But now I must go. I would suggest you do to, since you're in at least as much absence trouble as I am, but it might be best if you just lie down and rest."
"I've only got one class this morning, and it's not until later- I'll go and I'll be fine- now go change and get smarter'
Elphie got washed up and changed quickly, "The café at noon- Ok?" she said and headed out the door,
Glinda lay back on her bed, "She chose to love me" wondering what that even meant, butsmiling at the notion
Glinda was sitting out on the café patio anxiously awaiting Elphaba. The patio wasn't crowed, but she still chose an out of the way table, so they could talk. She didn't have to wait very long when she saw her roomie slowly making her way towards the patio.
"Elphaba, you look exhausted," she said as her weary roommate got settled in a chair
"I am" she said "but I feel better than I have in a week- except for being a little battered" she smiled, then grimaced slightly as she shifted to find a comfortable position.
Glinda removed Elphie's pain pill bottle and slid it over to her. "Forget something?" she smiled
Elphaba sighed "little kisses, bottled as pills, to make all of the hurt go away"
"Elphie" Glinda said obviously concerned "Maybe you should just go up and take a nap- we can talk later"
"No I'm ok- really, just a little hungry."
Glinda motioned for a server. "Anything special you'd like to eat?"
"Whatever you want will be fine," Elphie said as she closed her eyes and leaned back.
When the server came Glinda ordered for the both of them.
"We'll have a fruit and cheese plate and a sandwich sampler platter, And an iced tea and an apple cider-no ice, to drink," she said flashing her most charming smile.
"Coming right up, Miss Glinda" the server said smiling back.
"Mmmmmm, that sounds delicious" Elphie said sitting up, looking much less weary. All I need is some food, some pain relief and a good scolding from my best friend and I'll be good as new,"
"Elphie, why on earth would you think I would scold you- ever?" Glinda asked shocked.
"Well mainly because: one: you have before and two: I scared you last night, however unintentionally"
"Elphie, don't…"
Just then the server came with the food. As he set it out on the table he said to Glinda "I put some extra figs on your fruit plate for you." Then he turned to Elphie " Oh- and there was only one pitcher of cider left so I brought you the whole thing, I remember how much you like it Miss Elphaba."
Elphie was almost to stunned to speak. "That was very kind of you, thank you so much" Elphie said kindly smiling at the boy.
"Yes thank you so much" Glinda said, not able to take her eyes off of her roomie.
"Your very welcome, call me if I can bring you anything else." He said hurrying off to another table.
"Alright" Glinda said seriously "Who are you, and what have you done with my surly roommate"
Elphaba laughed, "Who would go green just to impersonate me?
"Well you do have a point," Glinda said putting some fruit and a sandwich on her plate.
Elphie swallowed a pill with a long drink of cider, then took a sandwich and some cheese. She leaned back In her chair, looked directly at Glinda and said "Ok, I'm ready- let me have it"
"Elphie- I will do no such thing." She sighed heavily "It's just last night I was so scared- you wouldn't talk for along time, you didn't move and your skin was whatever color on the green color palette equals white as a sheet. I was frightened that you had just shut down completely."
Elphie smiled and nodded " I did, for a time" she said quietly
Glinda took a deep breath " Then you started to talk, and it was like you were not even there, you spoke in monotone, no infliction at all. I was too terrified to do anything; I could just listen to you. Elphie why didn't you tell me you were in such turmoil?" Glinda said drying the tears that were falling down her face
"I didn't even know how to tell myself"
"All I could do was sit there and listen to you- your tone was cold and lifeless, but your words were describing the most awful things. Did you know I was sobbing into a pillow and utterly terrified I had lost you? I was so angry with you" Glinda said pounding her small fist on the table
Elphie nodded " yes, I knew you were there. Glinda I know you were listening to me but I have no idea if you understood what had happened."
"I got the gist of it, You were torn between emotionally joining the human race or retreating back into your own emotionless head and cold heart. And somewhere along the line I came into play. Does that about cover it?" She was clearly agitated.
"Close enough- I know you're angry with me, but please understand. After you fell asleep last night I shut down emotionally, as I tend to do when I'm overwhelmed "
"How do you shut down emotionally, that's not even possible" Glinda said exasperated
"It is very possible, my sweet," Elphie said taking her friends hand "and surprisingly easy to do with enough practice"
Glinda looked into her friend's dark eyes and saw ancient hurt and wants, and she softened.
"Why did you come back?"
Elphie sighed "On a broad scale- I knew where and what I came from and I guess I wanted something more. On a narrower scale- I came back because of you."
Glinda inhaled sharply.
"You are the only person in my life who has said and shown that they love me. I wanted to know what it was like to completely embrace that feeling and return it. If I was going to love you, and by extension deal with whatever feelings and emotions the world throws at me, I had to give up my safe haven of a closed heart, and selective emotions. It was all or nothing"
Elphie was starting to cry and Glinda pulled her chair over to her and dried the tears.
"Elphie, These are happy tears, you are crying happy tears"
"How do you know that?" She said sniffling
"Because of your skin, I've only seen you with that beautiful shade of emerald two or three times, and you were happy each time."
"Emerald?" Elphie said amused.
"Yes, I turn a sort of glossy pinkish when I'm happy, and obviously you turn the most brilliant shade of emerald green when you are."
Elphie looked at her arm and shook her head. " I guess I'm not happy that often, I've never seen me like this"
"My love, I am fairly certain you have truly never seen yourself at all," Glinda said gently.
"Touché" Elphie said nodding in agreement.
They sat in silence for a long while, eating lost in their own thoughts, Then Elphaba looked into her roommates blue eyes.
"Is everything ok with us, I mean are you still angry with me?"
"Elphie, I was never really angry with you- just scared I was going to lose you. And yes we are ok-better than ok" She kissed her friends soft green cheek. "When I said you couldn't push me away I meant that. If you are going to join the world of the emotionally living, you need to understand these things," She laughed lightly.
"Now I know why I love you so much." Elphie said pulling her friend into a big hug.