AN: Despite my hardest efforts, I still do not own Teen Titans or anything associated with them.
Chapter 6
The days passed and then a week or two, and Beast Boy and Raven kept in contact. Beast Boy kept asking if they could go out and do something again, but Raven would decline each time. He could feel her starting to pull away from him. Their conversations were growing shorter with each call and Raven was going back to her dry way of talking. Beast Boy wasn't quite sure what was going on.
"So how was your visit from Kori?" asked Beast Boy, who was working at his computer on one of his video games and talking to Raven on the phone.
"Fine," said Raven simply.
"Did you guys do anything?" asked Beast Boy.
"We went to lunch and talked," said Raven.
"What did you talk about?" asked Beast Boy, trying to get her to keep talking.
"I didn't get a chance to talk about anything," said Raven. "She basically raped my ear with all of her questions and stories."
"Yeah, that sounds like Kori," laughed Beast Boy.
"Well I've got to get going," said Raven.
"Oh, you got stuff to do?" asked Beast Boy.
"No, you just sound like you're busy," said Raven.
"I'm not busy," said Beast Boy.
"I can hear you typing," said Raven.
"Doesn't mean I'm busy," said Beast Boy. "Why don't you wanna talk to me anymore?"
"I do," said Raven in an unconvincing voice.
"Rae, I can hear it in your voice," said Beast Boy. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No," she said. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all."
"It's about me wanting to be in the baby's life, isn't it?" sighed Beast Boy.
There was a slight pause on the other end. "It's not just that," said Raven.
"I knew it," said Beast Boy sadly. "Why don't you want me to be in its life?"
"Gar, I haven't made a decision yet," said Raven. "You said that you would give me time."
"I just can't see how it can be such a difficult choice," said Beast Boy. "I mean, you know I would be a good dad, right?"
"No, I don't know that," said Raven. "I don't know how you are with children."
"I told you I was great with kids," said Beast Boy. "And I'll be especially good with my own child, I promise."
"Just give me some more time to think," said Raven.
"What more do you need to think about?" asked Beast Boy, getting frustrated.
"Don't get upset with me," said Raven in a harsh tone.
"I'm not getting upset," said Beast Boy. "I just can't understand why you're having so much trouble."
"Because this is going to affect my child's life!" said Raven. "And I don't want my child to hate me because I did or didn't let you be their father."
"Well I can tell you right now that my kid isn't gonna hate me or you!" said Beast Boy.
"You don't know that, Garfield," said Raven.
"Yes I do," said Beast Boy.
"How?" asked Raven.
"Because I'll never give them a reason to hate me," said Beast Boy. "I know what it's like to grow up without parents and I'd never want my kid to go through what I went through."
"I understand that," said Raven. "I also grew up without my parents. True, I was permitted to see my mother every once in a while, but she never showed me any affection. But no matter what I would rather have had just my mother than my father."
"Well that's you," said Beast Boy. "You don't know what this baby is gonna want."
"Exactly!" said Raven. "That's why this is so difficult. I don't want to make the wrong decision and ruin all three of our lives."
"Rae, I'm telling you, letting me be involved with its life is the right choice," said Beast Boy.
"You're just thinking of you!" said Raven. "You're not thinking about if this is the right choice for the baby or for me. You just want what you want, and that's not a good enough reason for me."
"I'm not just thinking about me!" said Beast Boy, really getting frustrated at this point. "I'm thinking about the baby more than anything."
"And what about me?" asked an upset Raven. "Do you know how hard it'll be for me if I have to be around you all of the time? I know that you have a crush on me, and that'll always be in the back of my mind and I'll feel uncomfortable all the time because of it."
"And you think I'm selfish?" asked Beast Boy. "You're the one talking all about you! You know what? I don't think this is about the baby at all. I think you just don't want me around and that's why you won't just say no to me. Because that'll prove that you have nothing but yourself in mind."
"How dare you?" she practically shouted at him. "My whole life is dedicated to this child and you have the audacity to say that I'm being selfish? Well you can go to Hell for all I care! I've just made up my mind and I don't want you anywhere near this child."
"You can't just do that, Raven!" he shouted back.
"Oh, yes I can," said Raven. "And don't think I'm not going to do it. I should never have asked you to help me. I really thought you had grown up by now, but obviously I was wrong."
"Don't turn this around on me!" said Beast Boy. "You're the one who's being irrational!"
"Goodbye Garfield!" she yelled and hung up.
Beast Boy growled and hung up his phone as well. He was so pissed he just wanted to break something. He quickly jumped out of his chair, and away from his expensive computer and equipment. He paced around his apartment, cursing Raven and himself. He couldn't understand how their conversation had escalated to the point where they were yelling at each other.
He finally calmed himself down and sat down on his couch. He felt exhausted and helpless. He wondered if Raven really could keep him from seeing their child. But then he realized that he really was being selfish. Raven had wanted this child, not him. She had come to him and asked for his genetics, that was all. She really didn't want him to be anymore involved than that. And he had to go and complicate things by revealing that he liked her and that he wanted to be a father. He could only imagine how confusing and frustrating that must have been for Raven.
After about two hours of thinking and calming himself down he decided to call her up and apologize. But she didn't answer; he only got her answering machine.
"Hello, you've reached 555-7019, please leave a message after the beep," said the answering machine.
Beep
"Hey Rae, it's Gar. Look, I'm really sorry about all of those things I said. And… and you were right. I was being selfish, not you. I know that you only wanted me to help you have a child, not help you raise one. And if you don't want me involved… then that's fine. I just don't want you to think that you can't come to me if you need help. No matter what, I'll always be here for you. Please call me so we can work this out. Again, I'm really sorry. Bye."
He hung up and sighed. He knew she wouldn't call him. He had hurt her, and as strong as she was, she was just as fragile. And she was pregnant, of course. The last thing she needed was any unnecessary stress. He had never meant to do anything like that, he genuinely cared about her. And that's what hurt him even more.
The days passed and he didn't receive a call from her. He left two more messages for her and begged her to call him so they could talk. But she wouldn't and didn't. So he had to continue on with his life. He had a few exams coming up and that meant he had to buckle down and get studying. Not only that, but he was soon going to be finished with his video game that he had been working on for two years. So he had plenty to keep his mind busy with.
Two weeks later, as he was heading to his car after his last class of the day, he felt his cell phone ring. He shuffled all of the books and notes in his arms and reached for his phone. He finally retrieved it from his pocket and answered.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Garfield Logan?" asked a female's voice on the other end.
"Yes," he replied.
"Are you an acquaintance with a Raven?" she asked.
"Uh, yes, I am," said Beast Boy, getting curious.
"Would you mind coming to Jump City Hospital?" she asked.
"Why?" asked Beast Boy.
"You're friend is here and we need some information," said the woman.
"Why's she at the hospital?" asked Beast Boy.
"She's had a miscarriage," said the woman.
Beast Boy nearly dropped his books to the ground. "What?" he asked stunned.
"Were you aware that she was pregnant?" she asked.
"Yes, I was," said Beast Boy. "She lost the baby?"
"Yes, she has," said the woman sympathetically. "Can you come?"
"Yeah, of course," said Beast Boy after a short pause in which his brain was trying to function. "I'll be right there." And with that he hung up.
He finally reached his car and threw his books and notes inside. He sat down in the driver's seat and for a few seconds just stayed motionless. He was in shock and disbelief. Then he realized that he had to get to the hospital. He knew that Raven must have been very upset.
As he pulled out a million questions raced through his brain. Would she be alright? Would she blame him? Could she have another child? Would she refuse to try again with him? Who would she ask next to help her have a baby? Would she ever talk to him again?