A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.: They're Bent On World Discussion After Tea..:.:

I remember the ride to Kouga's, the ride on the horse's back. I felt useless then, old and ancient. It wasn't that I couldn't run, or didn't want to, it was just that I felt so… tired, and whether Inu Yasha or Kagome noticed this was beyond me. When we arrived, Kagome had a certain hut with two wolves of Kouga's tribe to put me in, as at least they knew I was coming. I was to stay there for the next day or so, 'try to stay low', that sort of thing. They wanted me to see Kouga, to talk to him, I could see it in Kagome's eyes. I was actually quite surprised that Inu Yasha would even attend this, but I could see what Kagome and children have done to him in the past years. And what about yourself, Ayame? Hmm? What has become of you?

Nothing.

It was like a rock following down a hollowed out well, not a drip of water or life. The rock was falling in slow motion, moving in a mocking manner, slowly and carelessly falling, and there was no end. The wedding, the children they would no doubt have, the life they would no doubt live in happiness and joy… it all would be nothing to me, and I would make sure of it. Love was not something I needed now, not something I even wanted. Of course not.

Kagome had picked out a small little outfit for me. It wasn't a custom wolf tribe outfit, but then I couldn't have expected Kagome to get one and I could already see the possible questions from anyone she would ask. She got me a kimono of a light red color. It was very plain, small, and ugly, really. I didn't ask any questions, and if anything I was sort of happy, I wouldn't stand out in a crowd, and that was obviously Kagome's intent. She told me a hundred times how she wanted me to talk to Kouga, her and Inu Yasha the same, but I think they really just wanted me to move on with my life.

It was kind of like when someone dies, but all you have is the proof of word from someone else, and you just can't move on until you actually see they're dead. I'm not saying it'll make it any less devastating, but it always helps when you want to move on, didn't it?

On the second day of our arrival, a few hours before the wedding, I was getting ready when Inu Yasha stopped by the hut I had been staying at.

"Look," He said, his eyes glaring at me like I had done something wrong, "I don't want to be here anymore than you do, but I'm doing this for Kagome, so if anything you could at least act like you're happy."

He left after that, and I sighed. I knew Kagome didn't care for me as deeply as she did her other friends, and I was okay with that because we barely knew each other, but I also knew Kagome had a soft heart, and I was hurting it.

Even in my own pain I have to hurt others.

-x-The wedding –x-

The wedding was a beautiful ceremony, complete with rum and dancing, everything was perfect. I danced with Kagome one or twice but her and Inu Yasha seemed intent on being alone, and I was okay with that. It was the first time being out of the hut, and actually being back in this tribe I had once been apart of, and a few people recognized me. I was scared they'd shun me, or tell Kouga, but I could see it in their actions that they wanted me to know they knew who I was, but that they weren't going to do anything.

After awhile of dancing, everyone began to slow down and applaud, and I knew it was because either Kouga or his wife has shown up now. I was piling my way through the crowd, pushing and shoving, when a hand grasped my wrist and punctured through the skin causing blood to come out. I stared at my wrist dazed for a second, as if this wasn't possible, and then began tugging. When the hand began to tug back, pulling me away, I began to panic and pull harder, grabbing at people around me who just shrugged their shoulders to get me off them as they all tried to see the bride or groom.

The hand began tugging harder, pulling me into the darkened forest, and the more I tried to pull away the more blood that came. I tried to claw at the hand, and I even tried to scream but no one could hear me over the applause.

Suddenly everything went black, and I found myself laying on something wet. It felt like moss, or perhaps smashed down grass. I tried to get up but I found my hand was numb and it hurt to move it. Have I really became this weak over the years? Or was Kouga right in saying that I was always weak? Was that why he never loved me?...

"Ayame, yes?" A voice said, sounding feminine but masculine at the same time.

"Oh, Ayame, the words I have heard of you, have you come back to this place in jealousy?" There was a slight amount of laughter, and I growled. I couldn't see who it was, or smell, but their voice was giving away their whereabouts quite clearly. However, due to my state and tiredness I couldn't attack, especially since I knew next to nothing of my capturer.

"Kouga doesn't love you, and he never has. He laughed at you, mocked you for loving him, and yet even when you're kicked and shoved down, humiliated by your weak patheticness, do you come back to him. Why don't you just become his slave, you deplorable little girl?"

"Who are you?" I wheezed out, looking around in slight confusion and a bewildered manner, I could feel more blood slipping from the large gash, though not enough to kill me it still felt like a stinging pain.

"Tired?" The voice asked, and I cocked a brow.

"Sleeping poison, you wouldn't need much to pass out, but it does take a bit for it to work."

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked, grasping at my wrist trying to wipe whatever poison was put in it in a frantic state. I was sweating profusely now, my eyes adjusting to the darkness in a blurred way.

"Worse, much worse."