Charlotte and Ralph walked up the steps to the Assembly Rooms arm-in-arm, just as one would expect of two young people who were engaged and in love. Only they were aware of what had just passed between them at the gazebo and the fact that, in truth, they were neither in love nor still engaged.
What would cause confusion in those who watched them walk into the large room, is that both were glowing with happiness, laughing and gazing at each other in that way that lovers do, with a secret knowledge and overflowing joy. When in fact, for the first time in many months, they each saw a way clear to be with the one they truly loved. But it was not each other – rather the two objects of their affection were Miss Catherine Heywood and Mr. Alexander Colbourne.
The couple stood at the threshold and gazed at the assembled party. They were what could be called "fashionably late," and already Charlotte could see Georgiana laughing with Arthur, Declan and Alison dancing, Lady Denham talking with Mary and Tom Parker while standing by a large birthday cake that was, of course, devoid of sugar, but had been assembled with copious amounts of honey and fresh fruits.
All the town was here to celebrate Georgiana's coming-of-age, and the Assembly Rooms had never looked more beautiful, filled with candles and colorful ribbons and paper lanterns. At the far end of the room was something Charlotte had never seen before, a large tree in a huge pot that had clearly been brought from somewhere exotic. Its wide, flat leaves, shiny and deep green in the candlelight, reminded Charlotte of the tropical trees she had seen in books, and she thought that was the only thing it could be: A palm tree.
The one person Charlotte did not see was Alexander, and she told herself it was early yet and she had kept him long on the cliffs. After their time together, she had no qualms about whether he would attend. She was certain he would. And just that assurance, after so much doubt in the past, was calming to her.
The music stopped and Declan and Alison walked directly toward them. Alison looked at Charlotte, and Declan raised an eyebrow at Ralph. Alison had kept Charlotte's confidence from her husband for an entire hour – no small feat for Alison – and from the looks between Declan and Ralph, some counseling had been going on in that area as well.
"Well?" Declan said to Ralph as an aside.
Ralph broke into a huge smile. "We are in perfect accord," he said, putting a brotherly arm around Fraser. "You were right, she loves another."
Charlotte tilted her head at her brother-in-law and narrowed her eyes, but her smile was bubbling with joy. "And you say we women gossip!"
Declan laughed. "I tell you, it was akin to high-level military maneuvers just to get the two of you to be truthful with each other. It was fairly obvious to anyone with eyes in their heads."
Alison frowned and turned to Declan. "And you never told me you were talking with Ralph about this, husband!"
"And have you told me all that passes between you and your sister, my love?" His eyebrows raised, and as usual, Alison had no retort, so she simply leaned up and kissed him.
"So is this now public knowledge?" Declan asked, ready to be free of secrets, which he found decidedly distasteful.
Charlotte and Ralph looked at each other and then Charlotte said, "Our fathers don't know, but news from Sanditon to Willingden will not travel faster than your carriage tomorrow morning, so it would be a great relief if you assisted in spreading the word somewhat. It's difficult to know how to announce such a thing."
Alison beamed. "Oh, sister, you can count on me!" She looked as pleased as if it were her birthday instead of Georgiana's.
Perfectly on cue, Georgiana crossed the room upon seeing Charlotte. "I have such a surprise for you!" she said excitedly, as she took Charlotte's arm. Laughing, Charlotte waved goodbye to the group as she was pulled quickly away by her friend.
"What is it?" Charlotte said, as Georgiana led her to one of the side rooms and drew back the curtains.
There, sitting in the middle of a small group of very fashionable ladies and gentlemen, was Lady Susan Worcester. Lady Susan's face lit up and she stood. "You will all have to excuse me, as I require some time to talk with my very dear friend, Miss Charlotte Heywood." She opened her arms wide, and Charlotte, thrilled to see her, gladly accepted a warm embrace.
Suddenly they were all alone in the small room, and Susan smiled and looked from under her lashes. "I have passed the London Season on the continent, in Paris, and I'll admit my news of the Ton is woefully threadbare. My sweet girl, I trust no one but you to make sense of what little I have heard. An engagement, broken hearts and separation, and involving two people I love dearly?"
Charlotte returned her smile. "The first part is simple. I am no longer engaged. We don't love each other. It was arranged by our fathers." Then what Lady Susan had said made its way into Charlotte's consciousness and she frowned slightly. "Two people? I had no idea you were acquainted with Mr. Ralph Starling."
Lady Susan threw back her head and laughed. She took Charlotte's arm and sat her down on the settee and then joined her.
"Not Mr. Starling, Charlotte. Alexander Colbourne."
As the candles in the small room flickered and cast shadows across their faces, Lady Susan began her story.
"I was very dear friends with Lucinda's – Lucy's – mother, Augusta Montrose. I knew both the twins, Lucy and Lydia, practically from birth. They were raised with far too much of everything, and though Lydia had some good sense, Lucy was largely a silly girl who cared for clothes and parties and hair combs and little else. She was sweet, but shallow, and I remember being worried for her future in a world that might not be as kind to her as her girlhood home had been."
Charlotte was barely breathing as she listened. She'd had so many questions for so long and here were the answers. "And Alexander?" she asked softly.
"Alexander Colbourne was a young Cambridge man, brilliant, thoughtful, handsome and decidedly wealthy from far back in his lineage, although his father was doing all he could to spend the family fortune on drink and women. Alexander's mother died when he was just four years of age in childbirth with his brother Samuel, and since his father was absent and his governesses cruel and sharp, in his childhood he gravitated toward the families of the slaves on the estate, who were loving and kind and gave him a sense of belonging."
Charlotte's heart was actually giving her pain as she imagined Alexander as a child living without love from his own father. It explained so much, and any anger she still harbored at his treatment of her dissolved and began a transformation into compassion.
"I only learned all of this from Lydia, who had a heart so open that it was bound to be broken one day." For a moment, Susan paused and collected herself. As she did, Charlotte realized that Susan was speaking of treasured friends who were all gone now – Lucy, Lydia, and Augusta Montrose. Charlotte reached out her hand and laid it over Susan's as the older woman smiled sadly and squeezed her gloved hand in gratitude.
"I'm so sorry, my Lady, if you'd rather not talk about it, I understand…"
"It's Susan, my dear. You and I will always be good friends," she answered. "And there is a comfort in talking about it after so long."
Lady Susan took a breath and continued. "Alexander was studying the sciences and was intent upon becoming a scholar. Although he could have been anything, he chose to spend his days peering through microscopes and his nights looking through telescopes, studying the stars and the tiniest of creatures. Lucy understood none of it, nor did she value what he did, but she thought him unspeakably handsome, and had set her cap on him. She would not rest until she had secured his heart – she was foolish, but could be exceedingly enchanting and make you feel the whole world revolved around only you."
"I have seen her portrait at Heyrick Park. She was quite beautiful," Charlotte said softly.
Susan smiled. "And I would declare you the greater beauty because there is a depth behind your eyes that she did not possess. You are a woman, my dear. She was a girl."
Charlotte felt a blush begin at the welcome compliment, and looked down at their clasped hands.
"I first met Alexander at one of their engagement parties, and immediately recognized a kindred spirit. He had a way of standing off to the side in a group, observing but not judging. He possessed an endearing awkwardness that made me always want to come to his rescue at social gatherings, which I usually did." Susan's smile widened as she remembered, and she looked off into the distance, reliving memories only she could see. "We loved to laugh, Alexander and I. I miss him terribly."
Charlotte's forehead creased. "You lost touch with each other?"
Susan sighed deeply. "Not because I wanted it. I wrote him a great many letters to no avail. It seemed he had cut himself off from anyone connected to Lucy after… after she died."
Tilting her head, Charlotte chose her words carefully. "And you are aware… you know about the circumstances…" She trailed off, unsure of how much to say. Susan turned and looked deeply into her eyes to understand.
"And how do you know of it?" Susan asked quietly.
Charlotte paused and then she remembered what a good friend Susan had been to her, how she had kept her confidences and shared freely with her. "He told me. Alexander."
Susan closed her eyes for a moment and smiled tenderly. "Ah, my dear, I cannot tell you how that pleases me. If he talked with you of this, then you are truly in his heart. I could not be happier."
"When did you last see him?" Charlotte asked.
Susan took a deep breath and studied the ceiling for a moment. "It was at Lucy's funeral service, and he conversed with no one. He stood looking as if he, himself had died. All the light was gone from his eyes and I could hardly bear to look at him. I offered anything he might need, including someone to listen, and those were our last words. He retreated to the estate here in Sanditon and removed himself from all society."
"So when you came here for the regatta last year, you knew he was here?"
"Yes, and I sent my card asking to see him. But I received word back with his regrets from Mrs. Wheatley that he was accepting no one at Heyrick Park. I longed to see Lydia's daughter Augusta, but she had very recently lost her parents and was horribly distraught. Mrs. Wheatley thought it best to let her settle in somewhat before being reminded of happier days in London. I was planning to renew my attempt tomorrow."
Charlotte's eyes brightened. "But you will see them both tonight! They may already be here."
Lady Susan's mouth opened and closed and then she put her arms around Charlotte. "That is wonderful!" She pulled back and looked in Charlotte's eyes. "I knew it. I knew you were to be a healing influence in my life. I felt it from the first moment I saw you." She stood quickly and took Charlotte's hand.
"Let us go and see if your handsome man is here. I long to put my arms around little Augusta."
"Not so little anymore. I can attest to that," Charlotte said, laughing. "She's fully a head taller than I am!"
Augusta adjusted her gown yet again, and Alexander smiled.
"You look lovely, Augusta. Do not fuss."
His niece looked across at him in the carriage and sighed. "It feels a long time since I've seen my friends here. I want to make a good impression." She laughed softly. "At least a better one than I did at Lady Denham's party when I fell face-down on the croquet field."
Her uncle smiled at her, remembering. "That was ages ago, and you've charmed all of London in the interim. I am certain they've forgotten."
The clatter of the horses hooves on the cobblestones alerted them to the fact that they were on the drive to the Assembly Rooms. This time it was Alexander's turn to fuss, as he adjusted his collar and took a deep breath. Had she done as she had planned and broken the engagement? Was it painful and difficult for her? Would Mr. Starling be here? Alexander found himself not knowing how he should behave, and he was fidgeting in anticipation of the answers to his questions. But above all, he felt gratitude and delight at the prospect of seeing Charlotte again after their shared moments on the cliffs.
Alexander climbed down from the carriage first, and offered his hand to Augusta in assistance. They had done this so many times in the past months and each time he had been proud to have her on his arm, but his weariness of London society had begun to give him great fatigue at the prospect of yet another event. Tonight, his heart was pounding and he could hardly wait to enter the large room, to find Charlotte and anticipate the dance she had promised him.
Alexander smiled to himself. With the choice of any other location on earth, he wanted to be here, at yet another social function, with all his heart.
They stepped inside and while Augusta looked in wonder at the adornments of the hall and most especially the large palm tree at the back, Alexander scanned the room looking for one particular person, one radiant smile, one pair of beloved brown eyes.
And there she was. His heart calmed in his chest and a warmth overtook him — that feeling she always gave him that all was right with the world and he knew his place in it. Then, in utter astonishment, he saw another face he held dear, in the person of Lady Susan Worcester, one of the few good memories he had of those terrible times. The two women were talking and laughing, as Susan waved her fan in the direction of a couple dancing the Allemande in questionable fashion.
For a moment he simply watched them from across the room, taking in the ease of their discourse, the familiarity of their proximity, how Charlotte was fully and completely herself in the presence of Lady Susan. Again he marveled at her ability to charm anyone, to belong anywhere, in any company. It was a facility he had never mastered and for Charlotte it came so naturally.
Then, as if she had heard his thoughts, she turned. Her face at first was unreadable and he saw her reach down and take Lady Susan's gloved hand and squeeze lightly, at which point Susan turned and looked at him as well. Simultaneously, the two women's smiles blossomed as they began to walk toward him.
Susan was the first to reach him, and she took him warmly in her arms. "Alexander, how I have missed you. I am so pleased you are here."
He put his arms around her and held her tightly. "Susan. I am sorry I couldn't… I read all your letters and they were such a comfort… I do so regret that I could not answer…"
Susan held him at a short distance with her hands on his shoulders. "Do not. Do not be sorry for anything. We do what we must to get through troubles, Alexander. I am so grateful to see you now. So delighted and grateful."
Charlotte and Augusta stood by, watching in wonder, unable even to take in their own homecoming in their fascination of the scene before them. Alexander seemed to have suddenly shed a decade or more, and his embrace with Lady Susan resembled nothing so much as a loving mother and a son who have been separated for far too long.
Augusta's astonishment at her uncle's demeanor was just beginning to ebb when Lady Susan turned to her. "You cannot be Augusta? Why, she was a little girl when I last saw her, and you are a fine young lady."
Alexander remembered his manners and turned to Augusta. "Lady Susan, may I introduce my niece, Miss Augusta Markham. Augusta, this is Lady Susan Worcester." Augusta made a pretty curtsey and smiled, and Susan laughed softly. "Lovely, my dear, now come give me a proper hug. You may not remember me, but I remember you very well."
Stealing a look at Charlotte standing next to him, Alexander's eyes softened. He whispered, "You look very beautiful tonight, Miss Heywood."
Smiling radiantly, Charlotte whispered back, "And you are exceedingly handsome, Mr. Colbourne."
He tilted his head at her with a question in his eyes, and in answer she offered him her left hand and pressed his fingertips against her third finger. He could feel through her gloves that she was wearing no ring, and he looked up and into her eyes with such a gaze of hope and love that it quite took her breath away.
"I am free," she whispered, and he squeezed her hand and pulled her a little closer. What he wanted to do more than all the world was to take her in his arms and kiss her, but he managed to restrain himself. The next best thing would be a dance, and he was halfway through a bow to ask her, when Augusta came around and threw her arms around Charlotte.
"Miss Heywood! I am so glad you are here in Sanditon. Leonora is beside herself with the news!"
Charlotte laughed and returned her warm hug. "Augusta! You are such a lady now, I feel you should call me Charlotte. I am no longer your governess, and I do so hope we can continue our acquaintance as dear friends."
"I want nothing more… Charlotte," Augusta said, speaking her name shyly.
Lady Susan spoke for a moment longer with Alexander, and they promised a renewal of their time together during her stay in Sanditon. Then she was spirited away by Tom Parker, who was regaling her with stories of the new Theatre Royale now being constructed.
Charlotte was beaming at Augusta. "I want to hear all about London and your time there. Was it wonderful?"
"More than wonderful. I made very good use of my training in cotillion," she said, laughing. "But Uncle says we will have you to tea tomorrow, is it true? Please come. Mrs. Wheatley will be so glad to see you, and Leonora has some horrible creatures she cannot wait to show you."
As Charlotte laughed, Alexander raised an eyebrow at Augusta, "I said we would ask if Miss Heywood could join us for tea. I am certain she has many who wish to have the benefit of her company in Sanditon," he said with a smile. He looked at Charlotte and she tilted her head with a smile of her own.
"I can think of none I would rather have tea with tomorrow," she said softly. "I have missed Heyrick Park, and all of you, so very much." Then she turned to Augusta. "And I am staying in Sanditon, with Miss Lambe, for as long as she will have me. I believe this is my home now."
Augusta's eyes went wide and she leaned in close to Charlotte. "And your engagement to Mr. Starling?" she asked quietly.
"Is over," Charlotte said. "It was not meant to be as we did not love each other. In fact," she said a little louder to be certain Alexander could also hear her, "I have learned just this evening that Mr. Starling and my sister Catherine have fallen in love. So there will be another engagement soon, but with a different Heywood sister."
Alexander laughed softly and gazed at the floor. "We cannot know from whence our comfort comes," he said, so softly that Charlotte could barely hear him. Augusta had already turned and was pulled away by Felicity Wainwright to explore the wonders of the food tables.
Charlotte smiled and said, "I do not recognize that quote. Who wrote it?"
"I did," Alexander said, unable to meet her eyes. "In a vain attempt to put down my feelings on paper, soon after you arrived at Heyrick Park. You can congratulate yourself on the impossible. You inspired me to write some truly appalling poetry."
Charlotte laughed and said, "That sounds unlike any truly appalling poetry I have ever read, and believe me, after struggling to teach eleven brothers and sisters, I have read quite a lot of it."
Now Alexander laughed and turned to her. "I know what your next question will be, and no, you may not read it. I have a mind to sail it all into the fireplace the moment I arrive home tonight."
"I will make you a bargain," Charlotte said, raising an eyebrow. "I will give you one dance for one poem. Your choice."
Alexander raised an eyebrow as he smiled at her. "That, my dear Miss Heywood, is what we call blackmail, and I would have thought it beneath you."
"Nothing is beneath those in love," Charlotte said, without thinking.
Alexander gazed at her and they held there for a long moment. Both wanted to speak, but neither wanted to do it in the crowded Assembly Hall. Already they were the topic of conversation of many of the partygoers, completely lost in each other and close in conversation.
"Indeed," Alexander said, his voice soft and tender, never taking his eyes from hers. Finally, he took a shuddering breath and they both seemed to return to the room. He stepped back and bowed low to her. "Miss Heywood, might I have the pleasure of a dance?"
Charlotte tried to calm her rapidly beating heart as she made a small curtsey. "I should like nothing more, Mr. Colbourne."
Georgiana's party had nearly emptied the town of Sanditon, including as it did the full gamut of social strata. She was now the richest woman for many miles on all sides, and her complete refusal to put on airs about it meant that everyone had been invited, from the shopkeepers and ladies' maids all the way through Lady Denham and Lady Susan. Although the former was viewing the proceedings with frequent exclamations about the way in which society had deteriorated since her youth, the latter was enjoying it immensely.
There was, however, one glaring omission from the guest list, and that was Edward Denham. His machinations regarding Lady Babington had been spread far and wide, and if possible, his actions had become even more heinous in the frequent retelling. Georgiana refused to allow him into her presence, for although the story had ended happily for Esther, that did not excuse him as the villain of the piece.
Lady Denham had made good on her promise to make his life a harsh one in exchange for a roof over his head. When Edward wasn't mucking out stables and cleaning the outhouses, he was assisting the groundsmen in maintaining the park and repairing sheds. The only difference between him and the lowliest workers on the estate was that they were being paid for their labors. That hadn't stopped him from winning a fair living wage through gambling in town and in Denham Park's workers' housing.
And Lady Denham had made it more than clear to Edward that she had her household staff counting the silver and checking to be certain that nothing in the house was being stolen. She had said in no uncertain terms that if he were found guilty of any transgression he would be back out in the street with only the clothes on his back, and only those by her good graces.
And why did Edward stay through this punishment? He had no illusions that his life would be any easier elsewhere, and in Sanditon he had the advantage of the knowledge of its residents, an understanding of the social order of the place, and at least the possibility that the old woman would die and leave him something of worth.
While the celebration continued in the Assembly Rooms, Edward sat in the empty drawing room at Denham House looking at the ornate parquet floor. He narrowed his eyes and smiled. Just a setback. That's all this was. Because he had a plan.
Lennox may have stripped him of his epaulets, but he couldn't take back all the things he had told Edward during long nights drinking and playing cards together, and Edward had a very good memory. Lady Denham might be a lost cause, but she wasn't the only person of wealth in Sanditon. There were two others.
As of tonight one of them was Georgiana Lambe.
The other was Alexander Colbourne. And Lennox had told Edward everything.
It was like a dream.
The last time they had danced, Charlotte had excused herself in confusion, trying to make sense of the feelings she was experiencing as Alexander held her in his arms. She had been so taken aback by his grace, the way he moved her around the dance floor with the perfect measure of strength and tenderness, with such accomplishment and skill – at the same time he was looking at her in a way that felt as if he were gazing through her eyes and into her soul. She didn't know what she expected a dance with Alexander Colbourne would be, but she had assuredly not expected that.
Tonight, although she was still in some awe at the masterful way he moved her around the floor, she knew that this was a man who had lived many hours in London society, at balls and parties, in conversation with lords, dukes and princes, inhabiting a life that would have seemed impossible to meld with the solitary, pensive and taciturn man she had first met in his office at Heyrick Park.
There is more to Alexander Colbourne than you can possibly imagine.
Mrs. Wheatley's words had often come back to her, and as Charlotte peeled away his layers with each new revelation, she realized that rather than give her pause, they only served to make her value him more.
After some moments of silence as they danced, due in large part to the emotion they were both feeling, Alexander spoke. "I cannot help but remember my last words to you as we danced," he said softly. "Do you recall?"
Charlotte closed her eyes for a very brief moment. "I will never forget. You asked me not to leave, and said you would be bereft without me." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she held him with her gaze. "And then you sent me away."
Alexander was grateful that they were engaged in a solitary dance, rather than a quadrille, where they would leave three other couples without a fourth. He suddenly stopped and said, "Would you mind terribly if we took a walk outside? I must speak with you." Charlotte nodded and although they were being watched simply because there were some who had been unable to take their eyes off of them, Alexander took Charlotte's hand and led her to the entrance. Before stepping outside he asked, "Will you be chilled? Shall I find your cloak?"
Charlotte smiled. "If I am, perhaps you can lend me your coat. It seems I am collecting them."
Alexander laughed, marveling again at how she could bring out that response in him even in the most difficult of circumstances. "I would gladly offer you an entire wardrobe filled with coats if it would please you," he said lightly.
After stepping outside, they walked in silence for a short time, and though he had expected to stand with her by one of the columns at the entrance, they seemed naturally to gravitate toward the sea that they both loved. Finding a bench with an aspect toward the ocean and the full light of the moon, Alexander preemptively removed his coat and placed it gently around her shoulders.
Charlotte could not help herself. She gathered the collar up around her face and inhaled deeply. Alexander gave her a quizzical look and she laughed softly. "I must ask you about…" she said, giving him a sidelong look. "...your soap."
That brought on a full laugh from him, as he shook his head saying, "I beg your pardon?"
Charlotte laughed too, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "My mother makes soap, and we always seem to smell like sheep's-wool, and your coats, your… skin…" Now Charlotte had completely lost her way and she could feel her cheeks burning, so she pulled the collar up tightly around her. "No, I beg you, pay me no mind… I shouldn't have…"
Alexander could wait no longer. Her way of speaking, her blush, the manner in which her thoughts organized themselves, her laugh, were all too much for him, and she was so very close… "Sandalwood. Mrs. Wheatley makes it…" He barely got his answer out before he turned and found his lips on hers.
Now Charlotte was completely immersed in the scent in question, and the warmth in her cheeks spread and suffused throughout her body. Again, she lost herself utterly in the way his lips moved on hers, the faint, low sounds he made, blending with the distant rush of the ocean. Her hands went to his neck, fingers curling through his hair, pulling him closer and closer still, as his hands around her back drew her nearer, until there was no way to know where he ended and she began.
A noise behind them caused them to break apart, and though it simply turned out to be a gull scratching at a piece of paper, they sat looking at each other for a long moment, breathing deeply, trying to find their sanity.
"I cannot… I cannot seem to cease doing that," Alexander said, reaching his hand out to her cheek.
"And I cannot say I want you to stop…" Charlotte said, placing her hand over his. She smiled and allowed herself a small laugh. "How shall we ever function together in polite company?"
Alexander laughed too. "I do not know. I am quite at a loss." He gazed at her, finally at ease in his breathing. "Charlotte, I have never felt this before in my life. This is entirely new ground for me."
She looked shyly at him. "Yet you were married…"
He quickly shook his head and spoke forcefully, "I was so young, and did not know… that this existed." He leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her lips. "You are… this is… a revelation."
"But you did love Lucy, did you not?" Charlotte asked softly, wondering at what point she would be stepping over a line she should not cross with him. She hoped that all subjects were open to them now, and in truth, she was testing his waters. It was the first time she had spoken Lucy's name aloud, and she was unsure if even that familiarity would cause him pain.
It did not. Alexander looked relieved to be talking with such candor, and she relaxed still more into her comfort with him.
He looked out at the sea as he spoke, but he held tight to Charlotte's hand between them. "I will admit I thought it was love, but there was nothing to compare to it. I was certainly entranced, and Lucy was very good at that, making others, particularly men, feel important and cherished."
Exactly what Susan had said, Charlotte thought.
Turning to her again, Alexander said, "You are so honest, so straightforward in your communication – I find that I trust you completely. Lucy had made me doubt the fidelity of other people, especially women. I suspected that all members of your sex were simply constructed in that manner, with a need to charm men into believing them, to speak what we desired to hear." He lifted her hand and held it to his mouth. "You have restored my faith, sweet Charlotte. And it was a long road to that end, one I thought I would never travel again."
Charlotte did not want to crush a tender moment, but she needed to understand him. So she repeated the statement that she had made on the dance floor. She said it not with rancor or accusation, but simply as a way to open the conversation.
"And yet, you sent me away."
Alexander sighed deeply and looked past her, unable to look into her eyes. "I cannot account for my behavior and will not even try. I treated you abominably, and I will regret it bitterly until my last day on this earth. I can only say that there was a sort of madness in me after encountering him again, that man that I felt had taken my happiness, my peace of mind, any sense of worth I could call my own."
Charlotte took a breath to speak, and Alexander continued talking quickly and passionately, "Yes, I know now that another person cannot take those things from me, and I alone gave him the power." In his eyes, Charlotte could see a glistening of tears begin as he looked away. "I have learned so much, Charlotte, in your absence. You have brought on a wholly welcome change in me. Ideas that held such importance before no longer signify – and in their place, it is people, family, the girls, and most especially, you, who have become my guiding lights. You are like my bright Northern Star, and have been, even through this tortuous separation. You have never left my side, and if we never speak again, I am still changed and will be forever grateful for it."
A single tear slid from his eye and he wiped it quickly away, looking down at their clasped hands. "I cannot expect you ever to forget how badly I treated you. But I do hope that with time, you can find your way to forgiving me."
He looked up and into her eyes. He took a long pause and Charlotte felt he had more to say, so she did not interrupt. She was deeply moved, and felt her own tears beginning, but she sensed that she needed to give him still more time to speak his heart to her.
And speak he did. "I love you, Charlotte. So very dearly. I cannot undo what I have done, and I would not blame you if you cannot accept my love. I will still give it, as I have no power to do otherwise."
With a soft sigh, Charlotte moved quickly forward and kissed him, and then said ardently, "I should have let you speak that day. My wounded pride would not allow it, and I wallowed in playing the victim in the aftermath of your words, which I had promised myself never to do again. You may have spoken harshly, but I never allowed you to offer tender words to heal it. It was so wrong of me and I have regretted it every hour since that day." She held Alexander's face in her hands gently. "And I love you, too, Alexander. I accept your love, openly, and completely. I love you so deeply that it frightens me at times, because you again have the power over my happiness – but I give you that power willingly. I hand you my heart…"
Alexander stood quickly and drew her up with him, needing to feel all of her, to enclose her completely in an embrace that could not begin to express his relief, his joy, the ecstasy of knowing, finally, that their love was shared, their hearts beat together in tandem. He said her name over and over again, and finally when he could no longer speak, he bent his head to hers and allowed his kiss to speak for him. Tender, gentle, and slow, as their love would be, and lasting a lifetime.
When Alexander and Charlotte entered the hall again, they were changed, and those who knew them well could see it in an instant. Alison sighed and grasped her Declan's hand, and on his other side, Ralph smiled in happiness for his childhood friend. Lady Susan looked across the room and closed her eyes for a moment in silent thanks. Georgiana and Augusta reached out to each other and laughed, their eyes bright.
Their love could not hide itself on this night. It was as if a palpable radiance surrounded Charlotte and Alexander. And as he reached up and brushed a curl from her face, oblivious to the stares of the assembled company, Alexander knew that they would never again question this bond. The world would certainly deal them blows and great challenges would come, but they would meet them together.