Notes

MarauderWorshiper - Thanks for the bumps! I hope you have a great new year, and thank you for reading my story! I'm glad you like it so far.

krissygurl - I know it was short, but the chapters get long - there are a few short segments ahead, but I'll put them together, no worries. I just wanted that to get it known, and post the prologue, even though it's short. Don't worry, the posts will be longer now.

myangelofmercy - thanks so much! I feel honored to have you as a reader. I used to have an account her, but I started this new one. I will have some more stories soon, so look out! Also - since you are the first reviewer, I am dedicating this chapter to you!

Morning Time is Insane Time.

Thinking of my inner-most feelings while mum tries having a go at getting me to see some whack-a-do muggle film she's been wanting to see.

Puh-lease. She wants an excuse to leave the house- I, however, need to make myself absolutely hottalicous for the special occasion.

Excuse me. Rewind, Backwards, sdrawkcaB, whatever your supposed to say when you wanna go back and take back what you said…

Did I just say, or utter, the vile word, hottalicous? I believe I did, the horrors upon that love can make you do…it's vile really.

Like, this one time, when I was about five, I liked this kid named Sandy- what a horror to have a name liked that really…without taste I was…I couldn't believe I hadn't teased him for being a dog, actually..Anyways, I liked this scrawny posh headed snot bag named Sandy.

You can already tell that something didn't go right, eh? Am I using…what muggles call…foreshadowing. Anyways, if I'm not screw it. There's a reason I decided to drop muggle studies this year.

Anyways, in declaring my snotty little kid nose love for him, I picked some flowers for him- some dandelions and without my knowing, Fred and George the little scoundrels, (and role models, now that I think about it), put some sort of swiss cheese, or something else equally as gross…any type of cheese for that matter, all over the flowers, with a vile smell.

I, being a stupid one myself, picked up the flowers, and gave them to him- not knowing the scrawny little hoe bags taste for unliving things- so he took a big bite, and upon tasting the cheese- vile thing- he turned into a large ostrich, and then resorted back to human form.

He being muggle, shrieked at me in the loudest tone, and ran off. I sat there, staring at the stupid yellow flowers, thinking.

Then, I thought it was all my fault. Stupid me, it took me three years to realize that it wasn't the flowers, and after that, up till last year, to find out that it wasn't the cheese that had done that. It was a charm.

But the little snot faced doofus shouldn't have eaten them anyways…or maybe so. He looked better as an ostrich.

And he really shouldn't have eating the flowers.

But I was faced with years of torture and taunts from the scrawny idiot, until, two years back, I had gotten up the nerve to slug the littler jerk upside the head. That shut him up. For a few days, actually.

I really should send his parents an apology.

And smack Fred and George, since it was all their fault in the first palce. But then again, it does serve as a laugh now.

ANYWAYS, I really need to…er…make myself look attractive (SEE! HA! SEE WHAT I DID, LOVE! TAKE THAT FOR MELTING MY BRAIN!), for the dear little Harrykins…I'm not going to even comment on that one.

But he and Hermione (if she ever touches Harry she'll be lying dead in the street, as those muggles say…whatever a street is needed for). But I know that won't be happening now, since I have known that she and my brother have been making googly eyes at each other for years, although each of them are too dense too admit it. The complex minds of two stupid teenagers too blind to see their love for one another.

Wait, I shouldn't comment. That would be hypocritical.

But, to add further thought to the Hermione factor, I'll just tell her that my brother is hot, and he has a great mind, and she should just go ahead and do her business, because in his scary little mind (quite empty, I'd imagine) because he's been thinking about it, and desiring it for years. I wouldn't mind.

WITH HARRY.

The thoughts of incest with Ron are unbearable. Undesirable.

I'd at least pick Bill. Or Charlie.

Back to non-illegal thoughts…or at least I think it's illegal, I'd hope it to be illegal.

Experimenting with it would be interesting…yet wrong, don't get my perverted little sixteen year old mind wrong.

Anywhoooooo, back to the Harry radar.

He's coming today. At two. Which is only like…only an half an hour away?

Oh my, amid all my mothers begs a pleas, and the not-so-complicated inner workings of my mind, time has gone awry, and seems to be shacking it's stupid skinny little butt in my face shrieking that I shall be ugly for the boy who lived!

Trust me to sleep in till one thirty in the afternoon.

He is here, he is here! Only inches away are those lips so red, so easy to kiss as I have so often daydreamed about.

Only there is no way in hell I will do so, since my big thuggish (as if…) over protective over bearing motherly pregnant brother would shoot Harry. Even if it means the death of us from Lord You-Know-Who got his undies in a bundle.

Wait a minute…how come no one has ever thought of using those muggle gun contraptions that I actually listened and learned about in muggle studies (go me) to kill Lord I got a squirrel up my but, and no one has bothered to remove it from birth.

I'll have to bring that up with Harry next time I see him. Although I would prefer to be in a romantic liplock with the lustfull ever-so-lovely boy that will shoot the lord that needs to remove the elevator shaft from his arse.

But alas, Ron would then shoot me seventy two times in the head, and Harry eighty three times- if his water had not broken yet. For his cute little wannabe baby with Hermione. Ron, of course, would carry the child till it's birth and it entered to this world distorted from the C-section. Ron being so motherly and protective and all.

I wonder how people don't know me for the pervert I am. Except for Lena.

But she has actually chosen what candle she'll use when losing virginity. If that ain't hopefull, or perverted, I don't know what is.

I'm still deciding between green and red.

Green would match Harry's eyes. Red my hair.

And a brown candle for the eyes is just gross. Who know's what type of smell it'd give off.

But no, Harry's too busy thinking about saving the word from Lord Ugly Face denying me from satisfaction, to let me fully think it out.

But, anyways, for dinner, which mum is calling a casual affair (I THINK NOT!), I am still deciding between the short ripped black Hogwarts robes, or those muggle jeans and top.

I'd love to see Ron give birth to his baby, so I'll go with the short black robes.

I've never witnessed a birth. It'll be my first.

Ahh, mum is calling for dinner, where I'll get to see the pregnant twit, the father, and the oh-so-adorable- boy who nearly killed squirrel butt. Fun.

But first, the robes. Thank god mum'll be busy getting everything ready, and dad late to see the full effect.

They'll barf up the nice cooked cow mum whipped up. Or cooked. Or whatever.

There is a U.F.O. that mum has entitled veal, on my dinner plate. I'm surprised it hasn't grown legs, and gone over to snog the other creepy disgusting things that are illegally called meat.

This is disgusting. Vile. I can't believe Harry is actually taking a bite of it – I truly thought that we could be soulmates. Well, Ron is eating it to, and while I was in a mental state when I was two, I thought the same.

I have matured so much better than him. God.

This is sick-minded and disgusting – while I sit here, struck dumb, everyone else is digging in. They are, like, snogging there meat. Am I the only one that sees the true horrors, the vileness? Am I the only one that senses that it is trying to take over the world? Nearly barfing on the pregnant mother's dish – would he care? Probably not, I got up, and shouted, "I REFUSE TO EAT MEAT THAT HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN, AND LIPS TO SNOG."

Silence – except for all the snog-desperate-people slowly chewing on their meat. It was like their cud, for goodness sakes.

"Did you-,"

Cud. Cud. Cud. Cud. Cud. The loudest, obviously, was from the pregnant mother. His water would break and we would give birth to the…what had mum called it, veal, that's it. He was pleasuring himself so much.

Honestly. It disgusts me. Cud. Cud. Cud.

So I left them and there snogging ways. That. Was. Sick minded and disgusting! I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat meat again.

And they didn't even notice. Honestly.

I hope the U.F.O's pull them up into spaceships.

Except for Harry, of course.

Okay guys, you know the drill - read and review. The more reviews, the more quickly I'll post.

Also - I have some new stories or fanfictions coming (some one shot, some not), so watch out!