Disclaimer: I don't own the Winchesters or Supernatural. They belong to the CW/WB or whatever they want to call it now and far more talented people than me. The only thing that's mine is Lacey and believe me, she wishes she weren't.

Part 12: Touch

There are times when you have to look back on your life and wonder, 'What got me here?' There are times when you have to think, 'Is everything I am a lie?' or 'What kind of world is it that we live in?'.

And then there are moments when you have to ask, "Why the fuck doesn't this have my song on here?" I had to curb the impulse on kicking the damn jukebox in front of me. Stupid piece of moronic shit. God damn- Oh. You're confused, right now.

After we had told Dean what we saw on the tv, we quickly cleaned the blood up and left town. There wasn't anything else to do anyway. And I'll tell you right now, I did not kick anyone in the front seat. Nor did I call anyone names. I can be a good girl. Now we were in a bar just outside some little town at the edge of Kentucky and Virginia border. Why? Because we needed gas and money. I'm sorry, but I had a budget. I wasn't going to use all my money on things for all of us. Hell, it was taking all of my self control not to force a stop at a Wal-Mart so I could get me a Nintendo DS and some games to play. Argh. Gamer withdrawal was so not cool. So Dean decided to try and hustle some pool. He did a pretty good job at it, though it got iffy for a moment. When I mentioned it to him, he said if I didn't shut up, he'd throw me in as a wager. Only he made it sound a lot ruder.

Sam wandered over to where I was with a curious smile. "Do I even want to know why you look ready to kill the jukebox?"

"It doesn't have my song." I whined. I was very good whiner.

"What?" There was confusion in his eyes. Eyes that I had to look up to see. Damn it. Why did I always have to be around tall people? They needed to shrink.

"Every person has a theme song. I wanted to hear mine while I pretended to drink."

"I'll bite. What's your song?" Sam asked. "And while you're at it, what's mine?"

I quirked my head to the side and thought about it. What was Sam's theme? That was hard for me to decide. I must have been frowning, because Sam sighed. "Erm.. Sorry." I allowed myself to be apologetic for that. "But I don't think I've come up with yours yet. Heh. Give me time! But mine is a song called 'Imperfection' by Saving Jane. It's actually just one song on the soundtrack that is Lacey."

Sam chuckled. "So you get your own soundtrack? Why is that?"

"Because I'm a very complicated, yet special, person." I smiled and turned back to the machine. A song listing caught my eye and my smile grew wider. I started to put money in and punch in the numbers. I stopped before hitting the last one and looked over at Dean, who was flirting with the pretty bartender. "But I found Dean's." I grinned and hit the last button.

The song started playing. "I wanna make every woman I see…"

Sam burst out laughing. Ahh.. 'Heterosexual Man' by Odds. If that didn't scream Dean Winchester, at least partly, I didn't know what did. And I'd like to thank a certain community in Livejournal for bringing it to my attention. Seriously. Love those people.

I risked stealing a look at Dean to find that the bartender was now giggling and Dean was giving me a glare that said I was going to pay for this.

I just waved merrily at him. It was oh so worth it.

"He's going to kill you." Sam managed to say between laughs.

I thought back to their prank war in one of the episodes. Crap. Crap in a half. This was not good. But the fact that the bartender was now currently laughing too hard to take Dean's flirting seriously? It made it worth it.

I smiled innocently at Sam. "I have to die sometime. I may as well make it a grand farewell." I practically bounced over to our table. I was feeling pretty damn smug.

Sam, who had followed me, sat down, his laughter finally subsiding. "I'm serious. It's going to evolve into a war and Dean can be-"

"I can be what, little brother?" Dean hovered over us and he was not a happy camper. It didn't stop my moment though.

"You know full well what you can be." Sam said, nonplussed by Dean's sudden appearance. "I'm just warning her. She has a right to know what she's started."

Dean had a smile of his own. It was almost evil. That was not cool. So I narrowed my eyes and glowered at him. "First of all, Mr. Winchester, if you so much as do anything to make me itch, ruin my few belongings, or do anything to damage my hair or flesh in any way, I can promise you that one morning you will wake up missing a very vital part of your anatomy."

Dean's eyes narrowed in return. "Is that a challenge?"

I shook my head. "No. It's a promise. And keep in mind, you owe me. Three." Yup. If all else fails, pull the debt card. I'm not ashamed to waste them now.

That caught both Winchesters' attention. "Exactly how do you figure that?"

I started counting them off on my fingers. "The car accident, that's one. You can either count my car or the fact that I stashed some important stuff of yours as two. And number three? Your metalhead girlfriend."

I did my best not to gloat as Dean grumbled irritably. He sat down and didn't stop scowling. Sam just snickered and took a sip of his drink. Me? I started looking around the room.

You'd think I'd stop doing that by now. Stupid habits. Something ducked underneath a table and it caught my eye. Sam was talking to Dean and neither of them were paying attention. I mumbled a quiet excuse and got back out of my seat to follow that something. I felt something brush past leg and I took a startled step back as I looked down.

A red ball rolled past my feet and out the open door.

I should know better. I should.

But I followed it anyway.

The cool night air was refreshing when compared to the bar's smells of smoke, beer, and lord knew what else. It was November now. At least in this reality it was. Back in mine, it'd be June I think. Christ. I missed my birthday. Isn't that a bitch? The thought that I might not make it home for the holidays struck me suddenly. I've never missed those with the family. Even when I moved from town, I'd still head back every year.

The time difference was confusing me. I was thankful that when I got out of this mess that I'd be right back where I started, the same day I le- Wait a minute. The other times this happened it all started when I fell asleep. I was awake when this one started. I haven't run into any other Mary-Sues. …. What was I involved in?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and I saw the ball roll around the corner of the building. Did I follow it?

Why yes, yes I did. You can groan and say "What the fuck are you thinking!" But it wouldn't do any good. I was compelled to follow.

I turned down the corner of the building and was greeted by an empty parking lot.

Ok.

I frowned and turned around to go back inside, but the bar was gone.

That wasn't cool.

"Do you know what it's like to die?"

I spun around at the familiar voice, but again, the lot was empty. The air grew colder and I shivered, though I was pretty sure it wasn't the temperature's fault.

"I could peel the skin off your flesh in a matter of moments." My eyes widened and I froze. That voice.. Too close. I could feel the heat from his breath on the back of my neck. I dared to take a step forward and a hand was suddenly holding me by the throat. He began whispering something I couldn't understand and the next thing I knew, I was slammed into the pavement.

Pain shot through me and I looked up to see a grinning face inches away from mine. He was fast. Too fast. He reached for my face….

"Hey! You alive in there?"

I was so startled by the sudden shift in my sense of reality that I nearly fell out of my chair, even as Dean waved a hand in front of my face. The sounds and smells of the bar filtered back into my sense of awareness and I fought the urge to panic. Instead, I took Dean's bottle of beer and downed it quickly, ignoring the confused looks they gave me.

I wasn't a drinker, but I think it was needed this time. I nearly slammed the bottle back down on the table. "Alive? Sure. Sane? I'm not so sure anymore." I was tempted to glom Dean and thank him for his wonderful timing, but I didn't. Instead I flagged down a waitress and ordered me some vodka. Yeah. I really needed a drink.

The waitress set my glass in front of me, but before I could take it, Dean stole it from me. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put you over my knee for stealing my beer."

"Because you can't afford my rates." I snapped. "Now quit holding my drink hostage."

"What happened? You were in a good mood two minutes ago." Sam looked concerned.

I bit my lower lip sank down in my chair. I closed my eyes with a tired sigh. "Only two minutes?"

"What are you babbling about now?" That was Dean of course.

"I zoned mentally." God, at least it wasn't a time loop where I had no memory of what happened. I hated those. Should I tell them? Explain myself? I took a deep breath. "I just.. Blanked. Maybe I have a migraine coming on or something."

Yeah, that's right. I didn't share this time. Why bother? "May I please have my drink? I promise to buy you another beer."

I could hear a grunt from Dean and I had a feeling the boys were giving each other looks. But when I opened my eyes, my glass was free and I happily drank it down. Well, not happily, but it was welcome.

It took everything I had not to get drunk right then and there.

I couldn't sleep. Well, that wasn't entirely true. I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep, but that was it. At the moment, I was laying in my bed with a frown. I stared at the ceiling and tried to shut out the growing thoughts in my head.

"You know she's not telling us everything."

I didn't move. Huh. The Winchesters were still awake and trying to talk about me. I think.

"You're not going to bitch about how you don't trust her, are you?" Ah, Sam. Such a nice boy.

"It's about survival, Sam. Even if she's not plotting something, whatever it is that she's hiding could get us killed. If you want her to be your sidekick, fine. She's at least trying to pull her own weight. But I want to know everything."

Sidekick? I'm a freaking sidekick? Gee, thanks ever so much, Dean. Meh. Then again, better to be a sidekick than a third wheel. I scowled and tried to listen for more, but they had lowered their voices even more. Damn it.

I turned over onto my side and released a calming breath. At least it was meant to be calming. But it wasn't. I clutched my pillow and wished silently for one of my penguins.

Yes, I collect penguins. And yes, I actually slept with a stuffed penguin. Sometimes. It was calming. Soothing.

I'm a sad sad woman.

Time passed. Maybe minutes. Maybe an hour. I didn't know. What I did know was that I couldn't take it anymore. I need to get out of there. I felt as if something were suffocating me and I needed freedom. I needed air. I tossed my blankets aside and slid out of bed. I grabbed the pair of jeans I had been wearing earlier, which I had also left on the floor, and quickly pulled them on over my shorts. I looked around for my shirt, but it was to dark to see. I muttered mentally and instead pulled my socks on and grabbed my jacket. I clutched it closed and after grabbing my shoes, I slipped out my door as quietly as I could.

As soon as I was out the door, I slipped my shoes on and started walking away from the motel while zipping my coat up. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I just needed to go. Anywhere.

Two corners later was when I saw it. My kryptonite. One of them anyway.

There was an empty park. With swings. Swings! I admit it. I loved swing sets. I always have and lord helped me, I wanted to swing this very second. I didn't know if there was a curfew, and I didn't know if the park had a closing time, but I didn't give a fuck.

Because, you know. Swings.

Two minutes later, possibly less, I was sitting on a swing and rocking myself on it with my heels into the ground. I sat like that for a few more minutes with my eyes closed, just basking in the moment.

Chains rustled next to me and my grip on my swing tightened.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?" It was an almost soothing and feminine voice. I dared to open my eyes and turn my head to the swing next to me. Sitting in the swing next to me was a woman that looked about my age. Her chestnut colored hair was pulled into a French braid and she wore a comfortable looking jogging suit of the name brand variety. She was pretty, but not overwhelmingly so. "I thought I was the only person to come out here at night."

"Just passing through town. I couldn't sleep, so I decided I needed a walk. So.." I shrugged. "Here I am. What about you?"

"I normally work the nights, so it's the only time I have to get my daily run in." Her green eyes studied me and her mouth had a curious frown. "You look like you could use an ear." She offered me a smile and held out her hand. "I'm Gina."

I wasn't getting any bad vibes off of her and frankly it was nice to talk to someone with less testosterone than the Winchesters. I shook her hand with a small smile of my own. "Lacey. So what makes you think I need to talk?"

Her eyes lit up with mirth. "The fact that you're sitting in an empty park after curfew and actually talking to a perfect stranger was a tip."

"And here I thought it was because of the big neon sign I was wearing above my head." I pushed myself into the air on the swing. "I'm just having one of those 'What am I doing here' and 'What use am I' kind of moments."

Gina joined me in the swinging. "I never could see the point in those questions. All they do is depress you in the end. I say just enjoy the ride while you can and do the best you can doing it."

"Easy for you to say." I mumbled.

"So where are you headed?" I must have looked confused because she tried to explain herself. "You said you were passing through."

"Oh yeah." Shrug from me. "I don't know. I'm just on this random road trip with some guys."

"Boyfriend and buddies?"

I burst out laughing. "Oh god, no. Just… no. It's complicated."

"Oh." She tiled her head. "But they're your friends, right?"

"Kind of. Maybe. I don't know." I frowned, more at myself than anything. "I don't think they like me much. But I fully admit to it being my fault. I like antagonizing them." Especially Dean. It was just too easy.

She smiled at me. "Guys are so simple that way."

I never did go back to sleep. I ended up staying in the park talking to Gina until sometime after four in the morning. It was no big deal, mostly stupid stories from high school and the wonders of guys with various forms of delusions. And cars. We talked cars. Not how they work but just the fact that we knew what kind we liked.

The two of us parted ways with cheerful smiles and I headed for a truckstop that was near the motel. I knew I wasn't going to ever get sleep, so I figured I may as well get coffee and some food.

I liked junk food as much as the next average American, but I've learned from experience that you have to attempt to eat healthy at some point. So I was sitting in a booth and sipping my third cup of coffee (okay, so that wasn't very healthy) while finishing off my healthy little veggie omelet when the paperboy, if you could call him that, delivered the morning papers to the diner.

I frowned and checked the clock on the wall. I had to considering my watch was back on the nightstand in my room. It was six am. Huh. Crap. I briefly wondered if the boys noticed me gone, and part of me felt guilty for leaving. Another part of me, the self centered bitch part that pretty much dictated most of my behavior, decided I didn't give a fuck.

I set my coffee down and went to get myself a paper. I plucked one off the stack of newspapers by the door and wandered back to my seat. Small town papers were usually pretty boring.

I realized this wasn't the case as I began to read and sipped my coffee.

Local Police Officer Found Dead in Jenning's Memorial Park.

Huh. That was the park I had been in. I frowned and read on.

The town of Oliver, Virginia was struck another blow to their morale as another body was found Tuesday evening.

My frown increased as the article rambled a bit about some local murders and how they had someone in custody, but with the newest development while the suspect was in jail.. Blah blah.

The victim, Officer Gina Manteau…

I froze. Gina? My attention switched immediately to the photo with the article and it was of the woman I had just spoke to most of the night. She was wearing a police uniform and staring straight ahead with a serious look. I bit down on my lower lip and I hesitantly returned to the article, only to find mentions of the victims being skinned.

Skinned. Gina. His turn. Oh god.

My coffee cup fell from my grasp and hit the table with a clatter. It didn't break, but I barely noticed as it rolled off the table and shattered onto the floor.