Opera Ghost
Chapter Thirteen
The last place Jessalyn should have gone to was the roof. She wasn't even sure why Delauney had suggested those directions to her in the first place. It was mid-December and the night air would certainly be cold and windy. Yet she pushed her way through the hallway, checking her mask to make sure no one could see her crying. The outside balconies were already full with some guests, laughing and enjoying hot coffee and chocolate. She walked further until she came to an empty stair well, simply wooden steps with no light above them. It seemed ever since she had come here, stairs had been entrancing and seducing her, down into their darkness. Down into hell. These stairs however, went up. Perhaps these stairs could be an escape.
Let them lead me to light.
Paris by night was more than she could imagine. Thousands of lights scattered across the horizon, casting its own glow over the city, yet many stars stretched up far in the heaven, shining brightly refusing to let there light be ignored. Jess sighed and shivered at the same time. Yes it was cold and she had to wrap her arms tight against her body to keep warm. But at least she was alone
Or so she thought.
"Oh Raoul, I'm so frightened, and it is so terribly cold out here." A woman's voice trembled from behind.
"I know Christine. We can't stay up here. You'll catch your death." A man replied.
"There is no other place. Here is a sanctuary, Raoul, where now I must offer my confession to you." Jessalyn turned to follow the voices and soon found herself in the shadow of the famous statue of Apollo's Lyre. She couldn't believe her eyes to see there two figures, hiding the base. There were too dressed in elaborate period party clothes. They glanced back and forth as if they were hiding from something, and it was clear they could see her standing only a couple feet away. Yet they continued.
"I have seen horrible things. You were right. The angel of music is nothing more than a man." She sobbed into the man's arms.
"Excuse me?" Jess called appalled by their rudeness. She hadn't meant to encounter their private conversation, but it was obvious they had seen her and continued without any concern. She took a few more steps toward them, and then froze. She now had a closer look at them. The man stood tall with sandy blond hair that curled on the top of his head, and wore a black domino jacket. The woman was dressed in blue, her blond hair following. And it was the same face as the portrait of Christine Daae. And then Jess heart skipped another beat when she realized she could see right through them.
"My angel is none other than the Phantom of the opera, my dear. For those nights I was missing, I was with him. He took me to his home, five level beneath the earth in the depths of the cellars. He lives there, all alone! He cared for me and loved me, stood by my side like a slave, and cried when I ran from him." The apparition of Christine explained. "Oh his tears. Following from the black holes of his eyes. It makes me want to cry thinking of them right now."
"No Christine. You will not cry for him, not now not ever. Let us fly from this place, tonight. I can have a carriage drive all night, and by tomorrow morning we can look at the sun over the coast, and be in England." Raoul bent to kiss her on the lips, long and full. "Would that please you my love?" She looked away gazing up at the night sky.
"I suppose." She paused. "But I cannot bear to leave him now. I must let him hear me sing at least once again." She pleaded. He looked very disappointed at her response.
"If you wish to sing for him tomorrow, why not the next day and the day after that, and forever? Sing for him forever Christine, if that is what you really want to do!" he retorted. Christine became to cry again.
"Raoul, please don't say things that will wound my heart so. After tomorrow I will never be allowed to sing again in Paris. The managers won't have it, Carlotta won't stand for it!" She sighed putting a hand to her forehead as if she would faint. "God, what fortune have I? Erik has inspired my voice, taught me to sing like no one has before, with my heart and soul. All this he has done out of charity and a love that I know I can never return. Yet now that the mangers know we share a connection and that tragedy strikes when he does not have his way, they would sooner banish me, and try to rid themselves of him. He wanted nothing more than to help my career, Raoul, but the tables have turned and he has instead destroyed it." She intoned with pain ravaging her voice.
"Lies. I would have given her every opera house in the world." A harsh whisper shot itself into her ear. Paralyzed with tension, Jess simply waited as a pair of strong arms laid something heavy upon her shoulders. Or perhaps she only felt it was so heavy because of the moment, and turned to discover it was only a gentleman's cape. Swallowing hard, she rotated about, knowing surely she would find Erik behind her. He was actually perched like a bird of prey on a ledge five feet above her head. She stopped in wonder, racking her brain. How could he do that? He had been standing behind at her level only a moment ago. But then again, she had seen him do, and knew he was capable of feats more spectacular than that.
"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you." Was all she could offer to him. He sat in silence before turning his cold, disinterested gaze to her. Perhaps that had not been the right choice of words. She glanced back to see the translucent couple embracing warmly, the giggle of the young lovers echoing throughout the night. Then back to Erik. How awful the sound of their joy must sound to him? She walked forward to them, wanting to see more.
"Do you love him Christine?" Raoul asked the fragile woman in his embrace.
"Yes, but not as I love you . . . " she replied.
Jessalyn turned to Erik's shadow in the distance. "Why couldn't you have just accepted that?" she whispered yet loud enough for him to hear her question. No answer from him.
"Raoul, please take me away from this place!" Christine begged, her tears of joy now starting to become pleading ones of sorrow.
Stop this madness! "Stop!" Jess yelled into the night. Her cry fell on deaf ears. She walked next to them and flung her arms about, watching in disbelief as they passed right through the shades. The figures of the two lovers, now interrupted faded then vanished to be replaced by the night sky. Jessalyn would go insane trying to determine if all these things she had witness and no one else had seen, were real or not. She clenched her fists in rage and stormed by to where Erik was perched. "Why?" she demanded, near to tears herself. "How? How do they exist? How do you exist?" she pleaded to the man that stood more like a statue belonging to the building.
Erik turned his head down to her, slowly and precisely, his eyes flashing in the darkness in a manner that caused Jess to hold her breath in anticipation. He chuckled dryly. "What's the matter? I thought you believed in ghosts?" Jess sighed in defeat, she knew she would never get any answers out of him. He could twist every word she said, and make her question appear as if they had been asked by a fool. It was hopeless. Erik rose to stand then jumped down to her level, as gracefully as a butterfly. "You should feel privileged that this sequence was revealed to you. Perhaps this will set some forgotten memories inside you in motion." He addressed her, his hands clasped behind her back. "So I hope your statement you made a minute ago was true. You never meant to hurt me, did you?"
"No, for the last time, I'm not Christine. I don't even have any memories of who you say I am?" Jessalyn protested, ripping off his cloak. He stopped her with the sharpness of his voice.
"Keep that on, or else your freeze to death up here."' He commanded. Jess supposed the cold wind didn't bother him, it more than likely passed right through him. "You only think you know who Christine Daae was, after all the false interpretations your 'friend' has impressed on you." He explained "To understand the truth, my dear, you must forget everything you know, and remember everything you have forgotten."
She stood there stunned for a moment, taking what he had just said. Holding the folds of his cloak in her hand, she glanced out over the Paris skyline, at a lost for words. "I still don't believe you. It's too impossible to be true. I'm not Christine." She said firmly.
"And what about the resemblance?" He asked.
Jess tried to gather strength in her voice. "Merely coincidence." She reposed.
"And what about you, a seemly normal American woman, here in Paris now?" He counterpointed. But before she could answer the obvious, she felt his grip upon her shoulders once more and his lips close to her neck. "Destiny, even though that foolish boy is not who I expected to bring us together again in this manner." Jess then realized a fact, Erik hated Daniel. If anyone was in the greatest danger here, it was Dan not her. It was very obvious from Erik's tone that he considered Daniel a threat. And since Dan knew nothing that the manifested Opera Ghost was among them, she was his only defense.
"You don't understand. We're not here to hunt you out or destroy your image. Daniel . . . " she struggled to find the right word "If anything adores you. Believe it out not, there is nothing more he wants to do then tell your story. They way it was meant to be told."
Erik laughed."Spirited words, mademoiselle. You hold that fool in very high regard, I can tell." He mocked her. "But he can never understand. It is you who are blind to the truth."
"Then show me!" she begged. "Haunt me with these ghosts. Show me more to help me learn this story that you claim I know nothing about! Then my friends and I will leave and never bother you again." She grunted in anger "It's just a damn study, we aren't going to publish a yellow-rag bestseller or anything." Erik heaved a long sigh after she finished. Jessalyn wanted to take her words back. She remembered . . . that the last thing he wanted was for her to leave and for him to be forgotten again. She could feel the sweat dripping through her gloves and gown and wished for nothing more than this whole thing to be over with. But they had to come to an understanding, no matter how unreasonable this specter of the past could be. She walked to his side, feeling no warmth at all coming from his body as he stood, head slumped. Gently, she took one of his long hands into hers, giving it a squeeze. "Then let us please come to an understanding together." She asked
Erik turned to face her. Even through the lights and the stars, his eyes where the brightest thing in the night sky. Erik's eyes were truly the windows to his soul, his painful soul. He exhaled, his breath not giving a visible fog in the cold air as Jessalyn's did. He took his other hand and closed it around both of her. Jess could see every tense muscle in his body as he gathered himself together. He was like herself, a stoic and trying his hardest not to reveal his true emotions to her, no matter how much it tore him apart inside. Trying to behave like a normal gentleman, despite his unusual difference. Jess wondered gazing at the mask on his face, how bad it really was underneath it. Surely it was not a mere scar caused by acid or fire like a twisted plot suggested sometimes. No, he had been born with this, and she could not imagine what it must have been to live all his years with the visible mark of shame he saw in every mirror and in every horrified person's eyes. Every day, every hour, every second. And a mask bringing more curiosity to what horrors where underneath. The emotions she had stirred in watching him lay on her heart like a stone.
"Agreed." He finally said, turning up to look her in the eye once more. She smiled back at him in encouragement.
"Jessalyn! God where are you?" the desperate voice of Daniel called shattering their moment. Erik's sad eyes suddenly turn a golden shade in rage, snapping his head in the direction the sound had come from.
"He would have done better to leave us alone!" he growled deep in his throat. "I see the fool still hasn't learned his lesson even after all this time." Jess was again confused by his words, but now in a panic to protect her friend. She held fast to the cuff of his dress shirt, preventing him from fleeing.
"No Erik! Please let me talk to him." She whispered. "Understanding together, you promised." She remained him trying to clam his temper. She knew her strength was no match for his, but she was the only one who could prevent conflict between the two men. "If you let me speak to him." She made her way to the sound of Dan's voice, leaving Erik in the darkness behind her. She saw her friend standing near the door where she had entered. "I'm here Dan." She called walking toward his position as so not to draw attention to where she had been hiding.
Daniel saw her approach, and reached up to remove the purple and white mask from his face, his creamy brown eyes darted with frantic aggravation. "Jessalyn, where have you been?" he asked. He moved forward and pulled her into an embrace. He held her tight, his breath pouring rapidly down her neck. "Thank God, are you okay? Who was that man?" He questioned firmly.
"He didn't say his name?" Jess said conjuring another lie. "Just some patron wanting to make a generous donation, I suppose. Wasn't he a good dancer?" she chuckled trying to draw him away from the subject.
Daniel didn't look happy. Her attempts to liven up the situation were not working. "But then you disappeared, and ended up here. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine really. I just needed to get some fresh air is all." She said. Dan looked out over the night sky. Fro the look in his eyes and face, he wasn't buying it. He still held her in his arms, and Jess was surprised he hadn't noticed the strange cloak around her shoulders.
He gave a long sigh. "No, please Jess tell me the truth. You've been acting so strange these past couple of days. Like you something has happened to you." Jess gulped at how close he was to hitting the mark. "Was it the trip to the cellars, was that it? We're best friends, you can tell me anything. Don't keep me guessing."
Jessalyn shut her eyes tightly, afraid to look Dan in the face. She had to tell someone about this, or she would go mad. And yet she knew if she breathed the truth, Dan's life would be at stake. The shadow of Erik haunted her every step, and took her by surprise even when she knew he was there. Imagine how easy a task he would find dispatching the unsuspecting Daniel.
"Dan, I've had these horrible dreams, nightmares so real. Where we find what we are looking for only more, much more. And it something so terrible beyond what we could imagine. I shouldn't have come to Paris. " Jess tried to explain without spilling everything, but her eyes started to brim with tears of frustration from the effort. Dan took both his hands and held them at the side of her face. His palms were tender and warm, soothing the cold bite on her frozen cheeks. A gentle thumb brushed away a tear before it form into ice on her face from the chill air.
"There's no need to cry. They're only dreams, how can they be that upsetting?" he asked softly like speaking to a child.
"But they are, because they appear so real to me! And they invade my thoughts, even when I'm awake. It takes over my daydreaming even though I don't want it to. It's like my imagination is taking over me!" she augured.
"That's just it, Jess, your imagination. You're seeing things that's all." He reasoned. "Just don't believe in them." He smiled then laughed warmly.
"What's so funny?" she asked hurt as if Dan didn't take her seriously.
"Nothing, it's not you, it's me. Oh Jess I'm an idiot. Yes, a true idiot for not seeing how painfully scarred you are. From now on, I'll watch over you every second I can spare. I'll make sure no one will hurt you." He leaned his head down so their noses touched at the tips. A wide smile spread across his face as he looked at her. "I promise." Jess suddenly felt a thousand percent better. The night air disappeared around her, her fear was erased, all that she focused on was the joy of Dan's promise and the friendly warmth of his embrace. She at that point had always question a part of the Phantom story, of exactly why Christine was so eager to run away with Raoul de Chagny. Both of the men loved her, Erik with a more undying passion than anyone else. But life and reality had gotten in the way, and life with her young lover seemed more practical. She thought of what she had heard from the ghosts of the two famous lovers. She couldn't have stayed if she wanted to, and Erik would keep her if she denied him. She had thought all this time Christine Daae nothing more than a petty fool, the typical helpless heroine.
But now she could understand the fear that Christine felt toward her unfortunate angel.
Daniel leaned down even further, and planted his soft lips on her cheek, letting it linger there for a moment. It was a friendly kiss, with no deep romantic intentions, even though Jess wished there were. She didn't mind at all. She held her breath when his lips touched her skin, but only for a second. No, she didn't care who saw this kiss. In fact she leaned back over and offered her own friendly peck on his face. "Thanks Dan." She whispered.
"You're welcome." He stepped back pretending to cough into his hand. "All better now?" she nodded. "Well let's get back to the party then. It's frightfully cold up here." He said tugging at her sleeve.
"All right, but give me a moment. I think I left something by the ledge. Give me a sec." She tore away from his grasp walking back. Of course there was nothing she left, but something she had to return. She looked around for Erik, until she noticed him perched up on the arms of Apollo. The tails of his tuxedo flew back in the wind, his eyes turned away from her, even though she could still detect the golden sparkle in them. She took his cloak off her shoulders and held it up to him, but he paid her no attention. Sighing, she set it down at the base and started to walk away. "I'm sorry Erik." She offered.
"So here it comes. Tell me how much you love him and pity me. That what it was really, just pity, not love that you felt for me Jessalyn." He shot at her coldly. "Just like always."
Jess turned back to him, wanting at the moment to just run back to Daniel. She didn't pity him at all, and only stayed in his company partly out of fear and curiosity.
Come Christine, let us fly from this place.
"It's not you I pity. It's him." She declared, leaving him alone to his bitterness.
A/N: God Bless James Horner. I was listening to the last track of "Back to Titanic" the Epilogue while writing part of this chapter. I just kept typing and typing, compelled! Must write . . . more sad and . . . angst like material! Ah I'm a sap!
Also as motivation I have a screen cap from the new movie trailer of C/R moving in for a kiss, but the frame is fading so you can see Erik watching hopelessly in the background. Oh my Phantom senses are tingling!