Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows Chapter 6: The Dance Part IV, a guiding light fanfic

Title: Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows

Author: Kimberly21570

Fandoms: Guiding Light / All My Children

Pairings: Olivia and Natalia / Lena and Bianca

Author's Note: Initially, I had planned to post this chapter much earlier, and in its entirety; however, as often happens, real life had other plans for my semester break. I do apologize for having kept you waiting, when I had previously promised an update during my break. As an apology and peace offering, and in celebration of my birthday (for which a few of you have requested that I give you a gift – You know who you are … LOL), I give you the first half of chapter 6.4. I hope you find it worth the wait.

Warning: This post, which constitutes the first half of chapter 6.4, includes a recounting of Olivia's sexual assault, and the fallout of emotions in the aftermath. It is not a detailed depiction; however, the underlying emotions are open and raw. Please know that as a counselor, I do not take this subject matter lightly. If you believe this would be difficult to read, I strongly encourage you to stop at the section beginning: "Olivia sank into Natalia's body; clinging to her for the courage to continue, as the worst of the story loomed on the horizon," and skip forward to where Natalia says: "She knows you didn't mean it, Olivia;" or simply skip the update altogether.

Available Support: If you or someone you love has been the victim of a sexual abuse and/or assault, please know that you don't have to go it alone. There are others who understand and who can help. Don't be afraid to reach out and accept the help that is available. Talk to a family member or a close friend. If you're not comfortable with that, then PLEASE contact the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1.800., or visit their website at .org. The phone call is free, it's confidential and they CAN help.

Disclaimers and Other Assorted Ramblings: The characters of Olivia, Emma, Sam and Marissa Spencer, Natalia and Rafe Rivera, Gus/Nicky Aitoro, Ava Peralta, Josh Lewis, Reva Shayne, Jeffrey O'Neill, Phillip Spaulding, and Richard and Edmund Winslow are owned by Guiding Light, CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble. The characters of Lena Kundera, Bianca Montgomery, Erica Kane, Zach and Kendall Slater and Alexander Cambias, Jr. and Sr. are owned by All My Children, ABC/Disney. No copyright infringement intended with regard to GL, CBS/TeleNext, Proctor & Gamble, AMC, ABC, Disney or any other entity.

As indicated in my last update, in the alternate Pine Valley universe I created in my story Restoration, Alexander Cambias, Sr. was not the evil beast portrayed on AMC. I absolutely adore the actor who created the role, and wanted to use the character in a positive way, so I made him an ally and father figure to Lena. This story crosses over into Restoration territory, and thus, the characterizations of these AMC characters follow that which I have created, rather than AMC cannon. Additionally, I don't recall GL ever addressing where Olivia obtained her education, and the backstory that is about to emerge for Olivia is intertwined with the backstory I have written for Lena Kundera; and thus, has absolutely no basis in GL or AMC cannon. Just wanted to let y'all know …

Anyway, the dialogue, props, etc. in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply. Given the weighty subject matter that permeates this update, I have elected to include just a bit of Greg-induced humor, as well as a short vignette which further develops the characters of Jennifer and Tracy (who will ultimately become important to the development of Olivia and Natalia's relationship) to lighten the load.

Rating: Chapter 6.4a is rated R for sexual situations, strong innuendo and language; but subsequent chapters will eventually reach NC-17.

Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows

"Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also, if you love them enough."

George Washington Carver

Chapter 6.4 – The Dance | Buried Secrets, Fabricated Truths, and Consequences:

Buried Secrets, no matter how deeply hidden, how well entrenched they may be in half-truths constructed to protect the innocent, have a way of transcending their proverbial graves; coming back to haunt those who manned the metaphorical shovels. It was in such a position that Olivia now found herself, as she stared at Natalia; jade eyes darkening with a fitful amalgam of emotions: fear, guilt, shame, and some other emotion that Natalia couldn't quite identify, as the secret she thought she had buried alongside a young man named Alex Cambias so many years prior, came crashing in on her; and wordlessly, the tears began to spill.

Natalia sighed softly, silently chastising herself for her outburst; and moving toward Olivia, she crouched down before her, taking the hotelier's trembling hands into her own.

Dropping her head, Olivia concentrated on their enmeshed hands, as she staved off the rising tide of emotions that threatened to flood their shores.

Tightening her hold on Olivia's hands, Natalia launched an apology. "I'm so sorry, Olivia … I didn't mean to sound so cold and harsh, and … I have no right to be angry … about anything in your past," she said repentantly.

Olivia nodded her head absently; the surge of emotions overtaking her. "Ya know what? You're absolutely right, Natalia … you don't have any right to be angry about my past …" she replied frostily. "Especially when you have no fucking Clue, about the hell I've been through …" she barked; feeling immediate remorse for her outburst. What the fuck is Wrong me? None of this is Your fault, so why am I taking it out on you?

Taken aback by Olivia's now uncharacteristically abrasive tone, Natalia's concern for her deepened considerably; and she fought back tears, as she silently willed the hotelier to open up; to tell her the truth about the darkness that often loomed behind those transfixing jade eyes.

Olivia sighed heavily, dropping her head to their intertwined hands. "I'm sorry …" she breathed, "God, I'm So sorry …"

Leaning down, Natalia gently kissed the crown of the hotelier's head. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, Olivia. I know I've been really … moody today. Ridiculously so," she ruefully recognized. "And … I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just … I don't know what's wrong with me …" she said; exasperated by her own inexplicable behavior.

Olivia's head snapped up immediately; meeting Natalia's eyes. "Are you okay, Sweetheart?" she quietly inquired; concern shining through liquid jade.

"I'm fine. Really. Just feeling … a little out of sorts …" Natalia reassured, shaking her head, as she brushed off Olivia's concern, "But never mind that – It's you I'm worried about …" she declared. "Olivia, what is all of this? You know you can tell me anything, so please, just talk to me …"

Olivia gently squeezed the hands that held her own, as a soft sigh escaped her lips. "Would you mind if … if we took this conversation up to my penthouse suite?" she asked. "I don't, umm … I don't … wanna discuss this where the staff might overhear …"

Releasing one of Olivia's hands, Natalia reached up, gently tucking chestnut locks behind the hotelier's ear, before lightly brushing her fingers across a flushed cheek. "It's that bad, huh?" she surmised; considering the hotelier with tender regard.

Olivia withdrew her other hand from Natalia's, and resting her elbows on her knees, she covered her face as her eyes slammed shut. She attempted to calm her racing heart, as she pondered the assertion for a moment; then slowly, she swiped her hands down her face, "It's definitely not a Disney story …" she said quietly; a paradoxical smile on her lips, as she exhaled a dense breath – the emotional weight of her reality like an anvil on her chest.

Natalia felt the depth of Olivia's unspoken pain, and her heart ached for the woman she loved. She gently brushed her fingers through those soft chestnut curls, and stood up, taking Olivia's hands into her own again. "Come on …" she gently coaxed; effortlessly tugging the hotelier to her feet, "Let's go to your suite …"

Rather than following her, Olivia nearly collapsed into Natalia's arms; burying her face in the raven curtain that cascaded down the Latina's neck.

Instinctively, Natalia understood that Olivia simply needed to be near her; needed to be held. And that's what she did. She held Olivia close; cradling her in the comfort of loving, supportive arms.

They stood together, locked in a soothing embrace for several minutes, as Natalia softly whispered words of comfort and encouragement, and gently kissed her temple, until finally the hotelier was ready to relinquish her hold on the Latina.

Once released, Natalia reached up, gently cupping Olivia's cheek in her hand, as she searched those tearstained pools of jade. Then, rising up on her tip-toes, she tenderly kissed the hotelier. And finally, without a single word, she took Olivia's hand, their fingers instinctively intertwining, as she led her from their suite of offices, down the corridor to the elevator that would take them to the hotelier's penthouse suite.

As the elevator doors closed, a stealthy little banquet manager slipped out from behind the forest of potted plants that germinated nearby; his heart all a-twitter, as his brain giddily processed the sight of the hotelier's fingers intertwined with those of her executive assistant.

Clapping his hands excitedly, Greg all but skipped his way toward the front desk; where, upon his arrival, he clasped his fingers together, lifting his hands to his mouth. "Oh, m'God, Tracy, am I glad to see You!" he shrieked; biting on his thumbs, as he pranced on his tiptoes; looking much like a yappy little Chihuahua in desperate need of a tinkle.

Ordinarily, Greg was excitable, but in the present moment he was absolutely euphoric; like an immature schoolgirl with a dirty little secret she was simply dying to spill. And Tracy, being completely disenchanted with the whole Beacon rumor mill, regarded him with acute disinterest, as she reached for the report she had just printed – a decision which only resulted in the exhalation of a long, howling whine from the neglected little waif.

"Something up, Greg?" Tracy asked, dispassionately, as she reviewed the checkout log against the vacancy register in the main database.

"Girl! Oh. My. God. You're not gonna believe what I just saw …" Greg blurted elatedly; his excitable energy immediately striking her last nerve.

Arching an eyebrow, she couldn't resist the urge to torment him. "A half-off sale on Jimmy Choo's?" she guessed facetiously.

Greg gasped sharply; his eyes springing to life like a drag queen under stage lighting. "Where?" he squealed gleefully; momentarily sidetracked from his mission.

Tracy cast an amused glance toward him. You are So fucking obvious …, she silently observed; shaking her head. Every time you open your mouth, a dozen Coach Purses tumble out … "Nowhere, Greg," she sighed.

The expression on his face shifted from euphoric to crestfallen within the passage of three syllables. "Oh …" he gulped; looking much like a five-year-old who just learned Santa Claus doesn't really exist. "That wasn't very nice," he pouted; glowering at her.

"What can I say …" she said rhetorically; shrugging her shoulders, "I'm a real bitch …"

"Well, whatever," he quickly retorted; dramatically flipping his wrists, effectively brushing her off, in pursuit of his own agenda. "Anyway, Breaking News!" he virtually sang; flailing his hands in the air, practically doing a series of pirouettes right there in the lobby.

Oh, my God … You should Totally be wearing a tutu. A very Pink one. With ruffles …, Tracy thought; shaking her head, as she chuckled softly.

When he received no response, Greg huffed loudly; attempting to garner her attention. "Well, fine!" he groused. "If you don't wanna know, then …"

She rolled her eyes; not really caring to know what had Greg dancing like one of those yappy little canines. But she knew he was posturing, with no intent of really giving up on spilling his burning little secret; and the longer she held out, the longer he would whine and prance. So she decided to take the easy way out, and simply indulge him. "Okay, Greg, I'll bite. What did you see?" she sighed.

"They were holding hands!" he shrieked excitedly; shaking like a neurotic little nitwit. "I mean like reeeeally holding hands!"

"Who was holding hands?" Tracy asked unenthusiastically; her annoyance with him increasing by the moment.

"Ms. Spencer and Ms. Rivera," he announced; a giddy grin spreading across his lips, as he bounced up and down, biting his thumbs again.

"So?" Tracy said; shrugging her shoulders passively.

"So … They were headed to Ms. Spencer's penthouse suite …" he reported; his tone indicating that the nature of their relationship was implicit within that very fact.

Tracy just glared at him for a moment; then returned her attention to the report in her hand.

Never one to give up without garnering the desired reaction, Greg pressed on. "Well, they were holding hands, and … they went to her suite …" he whined; reasoning that perhaps reiteration would help the clearly apathetic young woman to show some interest in his news.

"Again … So …?" Tracy replied flatly.

"So … they're an item, Tracy … A couple … They're gettin' it on, girlfriend!" Greg nearly shrieked; a bit exasperated by the young woman's lack of intuition. "I knew they were an item …" he chattered arrogantly; more in an effort to pat himself on the back, than to bring her into the loop.

Tracy cast an annoyed glance toward the nattering little nitwit. "Did you catch them fucking in the hallway?" she asked pointedly.

Greg's eyebrows crawled up his forehead, like a caterpillar scaling a tree. "Well … No …" he replied; the euphoria instantly draining from his lungs.

"Then what is there to talk about?" Tracy asked rhetorically. "They were holding hands, for Christ's sake! Women do that. It doesn't mean they're fucking. And even if it did, it's none of our business, so get over your bad self, Greg. Have a little respect," she commanded; indignation evident in her tone; "if not for yourself, then at least for Ms. Spencer and Ms. Rivera. They've both been good to you …"

Greg regarded her for a moment; the expression on his face telling her that her words had fallen on imperceptive brain cells. And in a matter of moments, he had his cell phone in hand; a goofy grin on his face as he punched buttons with all the fervor of a teenaged girl on a rumor-spreading mission; expertly disseminating his latest information to the masses.

First he called Diane. "Oooh, Girl!" he began, the moment she picked up the phone; leaving absolutely no question as to who was calling, or why. "You best be parkin' your sweet little ass on that bar, 'cause have I got a morsel for you!" he grinned; the titillation of a juicy new scandal flickering in his eyes. "The Boss Lady and her hot little Latina assistant … Oh, yeah … Well, Honeychild … Let. Me. Tell. You. – Those little muffin divers are one Hot Mess. They were stuck together like false eyelashes on a Drag queen … headed straight … no pun intended," he snickered, "for the penthouse suite … Mmmmhmmm …" he hummed arrogantly; the motion of his neck making him look like one of those bobble-headed Taco Bell Chihuahuas. "So, if I were you, I'd have the Boss Lady's martini fixin's on tap, 'cause she'll be needin' a few stiff ones after her afternoon delight with that saucy little Latin dish … What? … Fuck No, I haven't switched teams! I'm queer, not dead, ya big Biotch!" he laughed. And with that, he unceremoniously terminated their call.

Within seconds, Diane was happily disseminating the information to Betsy and Jackie over in Watershed; and they, in turn, made it their mission to inform the remainder of their Watershed colleagues, as well as half the Beacon staff, and a few friends and acquaintances on the wait staff over at Towers.

With Diane fast at work on her end, Greg swiftly turned his attention to Nancy down in the laundry department. The phone rang twice; then picked up, and he literally screeched into the receiver, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, Girlfriend! You will not Believe the show I just witnessed!" he shrieked; never taking a breath. "What? … Yeah – the Boss Lady and her assistant, doin' the tonsil tango …" he said; his enthusiasm draining. "Well, no – I didn't actually See that," he huffed; aggravated by her questioning of his intuitive skills. "But I saw them … Wait a minute … How did you …? Oh …" he sighed; the euphoria once again draining from his lungs. "Guess I've become more efficient than the Associated Press," he said, sounding disappointed and a bit disgruntled.

He clicked the phone off, a feeling much like grief washing over him in the moment. I didn't even get to tell Nancy myself … And she's one of my favorites, too … Always a snarky response from That one …

And then in a flash, he was hopping up and down excitedly again. Hee! There's still the marketing and accounting departments, though! Oh and the main housekeeping office, and … Oooh, so many more people to tell, so little time …, he thought giddily; his tight little ass wiggling down the hall in that characteristic fast-walk/almost run, leaving Tracy standing there shaking her head; as he went in search of the next fortunate recipient of his latest tidbit of gossip.

As Greg skittered away, Jennifer emerged from the reception office, and immediately noticed the bewildered expression on Tracy's face. "What was that all about?" she asked; knowing it had to be good.

Tracy turned toward her; a serious expression in her eyes. "Greg is at it again …" she sighed dolefully.

"Oh, Lord …" Jennifer groaned; rolling her eyes. "What is it this time?"

"He saw Ms. Spencer holding Ms. Rivera's hand, on the way to her penthouse suite, and … he's telling his little gossipmongers that they were all over each other, and about to hook up …" she informed; dark eyes clouded with concern.

"Hey … don't let him get to you, Tracy," Jennifer said; attempting to ease the younger woman's obvious distress. "He's not worth it."

Rich earth met clear skies, as Tracy locked eyes with Jennifer. "They've both been so good to me, Jen," she quietly acknowledged. "I just … I hate that he's damaging their reputations, just for his own entertainment …"

"Yeah, I hate to see that, too," Jennifer solemnly agreed.

"I mean … They were holding hands, Jen," she reemphasized; exasperation in her tone. Nothing more. He even admitted that to me. And now he's outright lying about what he saw, and turning it into some sort of scandalous affair …"

Jennifer studied her carefully, as she listened, not only with her ears, but especially with her eyes. Noting Tracy's obvious agitation, she moved a slight bit closer; lowering her voice to barely above a whisper. "This isn't just about their reputation being sullied – is it?" she asked intuitively.

Tracy glanced up at her; once again meeting the sparkling hue of the older woman's clear blue eyes. "No …" she quietly admitted; biting her lower lip, as she shook her head back and forth.

Nodding her head, Jennifer silently acknowledged the underlying cause of the younger woman's concerns. "Hey … come talk with me for a minute …" she coaxed; lightly brushing her fingers under Tracy's, as she tipped her head toward the reception office.

The sensation of Jennifer's fingers, as they grazed against her own, sent a wave of prickly heat from Tracy's fingertips all the way down her spine. "We can't, Jen …" she quietly resisted; dark eyes clouded with an amalgam of want and uncertainty. Then, catching sight of the Concierges in her peripheral vision, she cleared her throat, as she squared her shoulders. "We can't … leave the front desk unattended," she guardedly contended; turning away from the older woman.

"I am the boss, ya know …" Jennifer gently reminded; "so I'm pretty sure it'll be okay …" she assured; smiling softly at the beautiful brown-eyed brunette.

Tracy pinned her with a look. "That's my point …" she volleyed firmly; determinedly sidestepping her supervisor.

Jennifer sighed heavily, clearly frustrated with the response; and turned her attention to the Concierges, who was manning his station nearby. "Hey, Bryce?" she called; casually summoning the young man.

Bryce Mackenzie was a handsome, well-mannered young man in his mid twenties, with soft brown eyes, sandy-blonde hair, and a charming smile; who had worked at the Beacon since he was old enough to be gainfully employed. His genteel manners and friendly personality caught Natalia's attention the moment she met him, and once placed in a managerial position over the lower-level staff, she astutely decided to promote him to the position of Concierges – a decision over which Olivia quickly noted her approval. He promptly acquired the necessary skills to excel in his new position, and adding his newly acquired knowledge base to his intrinsically decent nature, guests and co-workers alike found him both helpful and pleasant, and he was always willing to stand in the gap whenever needed.

He glanced up from his computer monitor, where he had been researching tourist attractions at the request of one of their guests; smiling warmly at his immediate supervisor. "Yes, Ms. Morgan?" he said politely.

"We have an issue with one of our night audit reports, and I need Tracy's assistance to sort it out," Jennifer informed. "Would you mind covering the front desk for a bit?" she asked.

"Yes, Ma'am," Bryce easily agreed, with the firm nod of his head.

"Thank you," Jennifer smiled. "I'll compensate you for the added workload with an extra break this afternoon," she bargained.

Bryce smiled at her. "No need," he politely declined. "Tracy always covers for me when I need a hand," he openly acknowledged; casting an appreciative glance toward the younger woman.

"Thanks, Bryce," Tracy warmly acknowledged, before turning sharply toward the older woman.

And pinning Jennifer with a challenging stare, she followed her into the reception office; closing the door behind them.

Once inside the office, Tracy let out an exasperated huff. "What the hell was that?" she demanded; crossing her arms over her chest, one hip jutted out in a defiant stance.

"We need to talk about this, Trace," Jennifer asserted; firmly standing her ground. "You get upset every time a new rumor about them surfaces, and … we both know it's more about us, than it is about them …"

"We need to not have discussions like this while we're at work!" Tracy heatedly countered; pursing her lips. "And you need to not haul me off into your office like some sort of cavewoman!"

Jennifer arched an eyebrow; slightly amused by the mental image. "That's not what I did, and you know it …" she calmly replied.

"You may as well have," Tracy groused. "I guarantee you, Bryce didn't buy your little fabrication about a fucked up audit report," she warned. "He isn't an idiot …"

"There really is a problem with the report, Trace …" Jennifer informed; the slightest hint of annoyance in her otherwise calm demeanor.

"That is so not the point, Jen," Tracy argued; "and you damned well know it!"

Throwing her arms up into the air, Jennifer finally lost her composure. "Then what exactly is the point, Tracy?" she barked. "I mean, really? Is it just …"

"Would you keep your voice down …" Tracy interrupted; halting Jennifer's impending tirade, "before Bryce comes barging in here again, like he did before we clocked in the other day …"

Jennifer tilted her head to one side; fingers tunneling through her short blonde hair. "Well, if that's your concern, then you should probably lock that door," she flirtingly suggested; smiling at the feisty young woman before her.

"Don't try to charm me," Tracy groused; "I'm mad at you right now …" she pouted.

"What?" Jennifer countered; shrugging her shoulders innocently. "I just … wouldn't want us to be interrupted while we're poring over this audit report …" she grinned; picking up the folder containing the report in question.

Tracy sighed softly, and reached back, locking the office door. "Why won't you take this seriously?" she prodded; the burden of their oft-fought argument weighing her down.

Jennifer dropped the folder back onto her desk, and stepped closer to Tracy; wrapping her arms around firmly around the younger woman's waist. "I do take it seriously, Trace," she said softly. "I just … I wish you wouldn't worry so much …"

"I'm only concerned about your well-being, Jen," Tracy reasoned. "You've worked hard to get where you are, and I just … I don't want anything to tarnish your reputation."

"Nothing bad is gonna happen, Honey," Jennifer reassured. "We've been careful, right from the start," she pointed out. "Sure, people talk, but … they were talking long before anything ever happened between us, and … nothing has really changed with their carryings-on since we've been together …"

"I know, but it was different then," Tracy argued; gazing up at the gorgeous blonde. "You weren't my supervisor when we first got together, and I don't wanna take any chances with your future … Our future …" she quietly explicated; more entreaty than statement, as she gently ran her fingers through soft blonde locks, and brushed her lips lightly across Jennifer's mouth. "And you know this isn't just about us, Babe … I'm thinking about our boys, too," she expounded. "You know I can't support all four of us on my salary – Not until I finish my degree …"

Jennifer smiled softly at her. "I love you …" she whispered; the myriad reasons inherent within those three simple words.

"I know you do …" Tracy quietly acknowledged; smiling up at the woman who held her. "And I love you and our boys … More than you know …"

"Well … since ya love me so much, will ya do me a favor?" Jennifer posed; grinning at her partner of nearly three years.

"What's that?" Tracy asked; knowing she'd been had.

"Stop worrying so much …" Jennifer requested; arching a decided eyebrow.

Tracy just rolled her eyes and smiled.

Jennifer chuckled at the response. "That's my girl …" she grinned triumphantly. "Look, the way I figure it, even if our relationship ultimately comes out, we'll still be protected …"

"Nice choice of words there, Jen," Tracy teased.

"Oh, hush …"

Tracy smiled at their familiar repartee. "Now, just how do you figure we'll be protected?" she asked.

"Well, we both know that if Ms. Spencer and Ms. Rivera aren't already together, they're well on their way …" Jennifer knowingly asserted.

"True …" Tracy conceded; nodding her head in agreement. "I noticed the connection between them long before Ms. Spencer even got sick …" she recalled. "They were constantly at each other's throats, even back then; but the bottom line was, they couldn't seem to stay away from one another …"

"Exactly …" Jennifer confirmed; "and we both have great working relationships with them, so honestly, I don't believe there would be any negative backlash if they found out about us. The worst that could happen, is that one of us would be moved to another department – and that's gonna happen anyway when you finish your degree, and move into management," she reasoned.

"I guess you have a point," Tracy relented; finally relaxing a bit. "A few of them, actually," she acknowledged. "But … that doesn't mean I think we should just throw caution to the wind, and let the gossipmongers in on our relationship," she cautioned. "And I'm still gonna defend Ms. Spencer's and Ms. Rivera's reputations when I hear the staff carrying on behind their backs …"

Jennifer smiled at her. "And that's yet another reason why I love you …" she declared. "And another reason why I truly believe they'll protect us if our relationship comes out …"

Tracy just grinned at her; not saying a word.

"I know, I know … nice choice of words …" Jennifer grinned. "Just shut up, and kiss me …"

"But I didn't say anything …" Tracy countered innocently; arching an eyebrow in challenge.

"Yeah … and that's exactly when you're most opinionated …" Jennifer teased.

"Oh, but you know me so well …" Tracy grinned; draping her arms around Jennifer's neck; drawing her into a slow, meaningful kiss.

Arriving at the penthouse suite, Natalia deposited Olivia on the sofa in the sitting room. "Would you like something to drink?" she offered; tipping the hotelier's chin to meet her eyes.

"A shot of Bourbon would be stellar right about now …" Olivia acerbically replied; averting Natalia's probing eyes.

"Olivia …" Natalia softly chastised with merely the tone of her voice and one uttered word.

"I know, I know …" Olivia recanted; holding up her hands in surrender. "I was only joking," she claimed.

"No, you weren't," Natalia knowingly volleyed; pinning the hotelier with those eyes.

"You're right, I wasn't …" Olivia sighed in confession. "How 'bout martinis?" she grinned; hoping to ease the tension by making the Latina smile.

Natalia just gave her that look; the one that exasperatingly said, "Oh, Olivia …," as she walked toward the bar and poured a glass of sparkling water.

Then, walking back toward the sofa, she smiled softly, "I'm afraid this is all you're getting for now …" she declared; extending the glass toward the hotelier.

"Spoil-sport …" Olivia groused, taking the glass from Natalia's hand; but that sexy half-smile belied the gruffness of her tone.

"Call me whatever you want," Natalia replied indifferently, "Just so long as you're alive to call me something …"

A soft smile tiptoed across Olivia's lips, as she set the glass down on the table in front of her, and reached for Natalia's hand; pulling the Latina down onto the sofa next to her. Leaning into Natalia's body, Olivia nuzzled a perfectly tanned cheek, "I'm not going anywhere …" she whispered; brushing her lips across that cheek.

"Promise?" Natalia tentatively prodded, lodging a multi-leveled inquiry; her dark, expressive eyes narrating the story of fear unspoken, as she pleadingly searched Olivia's face; those deepening pools of jade.

Her fears were deeply embedded in the fertile, yet paradoxically desolate soil of experience; having been abandoned first by Nicky when they were teenagers, then by her family when she learned she was pregnant with Rafe, and finally, again by Nicky/Gus when she found him in Springfield years later.

Now the fear was intensified, because not only was she always hyper-vigilant of Olivia's physical health, despite the lack of any genuine threat; she had also been witness, on more than a few occasions, to the undeniable spark that still threatened to ignite between Olivia and Josh.

And today, she had watched the woman she loved, the one she needed more than anything, nearly fall to pieces over yet another man – one whom she had never heard of; one about whom she knew nothing. It was all so overwhelming; so fear-inducing, and Natalia needed more than anything, to feel Olivia's reassurance that they would always be together.

"I promise …" Olivia quietly vowed; pulling Natalia into her arms, holding her close.

"I really needed to hear that …" Natalia whispered; allowing her body to sink into the warmth of Olivia's embrace.

Olivia's own insecurities took over then, and she was overcome with an insatiable need to be closer to the Latina; to kiss her, and be kissed by her. And without a moment of preamble, she took Natalia's face in her hands, covering the Latina's mouth with her own.

The kiss was hard, insistent at first; neither of them really breathing, and then it softened a bit, as Natalia opened her mouth, allowing Olivia to take them to a deeper, more intimate place. And fingers tangled in raven locks, as Olivia kissed her fervently; aching to be near her.

Natalia pulled her closer; needing that contact in equal proportion. "Olivia …" she breathed; as the hotelier's tongue continued to quarrel with her own. Then, bringing her hand to cradle Olivia's cheek, she gently slowed their kiss, turning it from passionate to sensual. And slowly, slowly she kissed her; reveling in the tingling sensations those kisses created in her body, and the softness of Olivia's full lips against her own, as her lips and tongue gently brushed against the hotelier's mouth.

"I need you, Natalia …" Olivia whimpered softly, almost pleadingly; all rational discussions regarding sex obliterated by the fear of losing Natalia, once buried secrets were unearthed. "Please, don't stop …" she entreated; attempting to pull Natalia down on top of her; desperate to hold on, as if relinquishing the Latina's mouth, her body, would force the hotelier to say the words that would rip the final nail from the coffin of her buried secrets; forever separating them from one another.

Though heady with Olivia's same need, her desire, Natalia resisted the pull of the hotelier's body, as well as her own. "I love you, Olivia," she breathed; her tongue brushing softly against the hotelier's bottom lip, "but we can't … we can't do this …" she groaned; tenderly cradling Olivia's face in her hands, as slowly, she brought their kiss to an end. "Not like this. Not out of fear …" she said quietly.

"I know …" Olivia sighed softly, dejectedly; tears stinging her eyes, as she pressed her forehead against Natalia's. "I'm sorry … I just … I needed to feel close to you …"

"I'm right here, Baby," Natalia whispered; kissing Olivia's temple. "I'm right here …"

Brushing a wayward lock of chestnut curls from Olivia's forehead, Natalia caught those tearstained eyes with her own. "I wanted to give into the need to feel close to you, too," she quietly confessed. "But we both know … it wouldn't solve anything – It would only make things more difficult …" she reasoned; taking Olivia's hand, mingling their fingers together.

Olivia just nodded her head, eyes downcast; focused on their intertwined fingers. Because there would be So much more to lose, when I finally manage to push you away – Just like I have everyone else … she thought; her deepest fears overwhelming her. As much as her heart told her Natalia would never leave her, a lifetime of experience argued otherwise – No matter how much a person loved her; she always managed to push them too far; to push them away, forever. And biting her lower lip, Olivia choked back more tears.

The silence hung between them, like the dense fog over a stream in a deep ravine; until finally, Olivia couldn't withstand it anymore. And once again, she did what she does best – she attempted to avert the impending pain. Squaring her shoulders, she sniffed back the remainder of her tears, and flashed Natalia that stealthy grin. "I don't know about you, but … I'm quite certain a few shots of that bourbon would help the truth slide down a whole lot easier …" she quipped.

Natalia pinned her with a look. "I'm not gonna let you do this, Olivia," she declared. "I'm not gonna let you keep sidestepping this …"

Olivia met her with wounded eyes. "I won't …" she whispered; leaning in, nuzzling Natalia's cheek. "I just need to be with you a little longer, before …"

The warmth of Olivia's breath on her cheek, took Natalia's own breath away, and she was powerless to deny the heartrending plea embedded within the hotelier's softly spoken words. Moaning softly, her lips instinctively slipped into place against the warmth of Olivia's mouth, as she allowed the hotelier to kiss her again; easily losing herself in the moment; in the simple pleasure of kissing and being kissed, by the woman she loved.

And when their kiss ended, Olivia drew her into open arms; holding her close, as she whispered softly to her, "I love you, Natalia. So much that mere words could never suffice …"

Natalia felt the pain and longing within the soft cadence of Olivia's voice; and it nearly broke her heart. "I know …" she breathed; tightening her hold around the hotelier's waist. She nuzzled into Olivia's neck then, breathing in the essence of her; mahogany eyes fluttering closed to hold back the tears.

It took Olivia a bit of time to discover her voice again, but when she did, she quietly apologized for avoiding the conversation they both knew needed to take place.

Natalia met apologetic jade with compassionate mahogany. "I know you're scared, Baby …" she whispered; tenderly caressing Olivia's cheek; "but … you don't need to be, because I love you …" she quietly reassured.

And when Olivia once again acted in character; attempting to brush her fear off as nothing, Natalia pulled away from their embrace; staring at the hotelier disbelievingly, her own frustration rising. "How do you do that, Olivia?"

"Do what?" Olivia replied; confused.

"How do you shift from being so upset you can barely speak, to acting as if nothing was ever wrong?" she asked quietly. "I just … I don't understand how you can just shut off your emotions like that, Olivia …"

Olivia sighed; averting those dark, piercing eyes. "Years and years of practice, Natalia – I'm a master at deflecting and denying my emotions …" she explained. "Since I was very young, I've boxed them away – I had to, to protect myself …"

"But why, Honey?" Natalia asked; concern etched in her voice. "What happened to you, to make you have to live that way?"

Olivia stood from the sofa, unceremoniously kicking off her Gucci pumps, as she began pacing the room; pondering Natalia's questions for quite some time. So many things, that I don't even know where to begin …, she thought. A helpless sigh escaped her lungs, and then, she turned to Natalia, thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of her nose, as she began her story, "I was raised in the Catholic faith," she stated dispassionately. "You didn't know that – did you?" she said; more statement than question.

Looking up at the hotelier, Natalia regarded her with kindness and consideration. "I often wondered …" she said quietly, "but … I didn't wanna ask. I figured … you would tell me why you're so angry with God, when you were ready …"

"You weren't wrong to think that …" Olivia stated simply; her mood pensive, as she continued wearing a hole in the plush carpeting of her suite. "I just, well … I never knew the God that you know, Natalia – The One who loves unconditionally," she said sorrowfully. "My mother's God was one of anger and wrath; and there was no such thing as love, or God forbid, forgiveness. There was only guilt. Endless amounts of guilt – for things I had done, and even for things I hadn't," she shared. "It was all about perception with my mother; and she couldn't perceive that any good could ever come from me. She was cold and authoritative; using her religion as a weapon, rather than a source of comfort the way you do."

Natalia rose from the sofa, approaching Olivia; taking her into comforting arms. "I'm sorry, Olivia. I wish, more than anything, that you had grown up knowing the God that I know," she quietly empathized. "It isn't too late, though," she said encouragingly. "It's never too late – not so long as you're alive …"

Olivia found herself at once, feeling both frustration and yearning – Frustration, because the last thing she wanted at the moment was a theology lesson; and yearning, because the still small voice that lingered deep inside, called to her; telling her that His love coupled with Natalia's was the soothing balm that would bring healing to her battered and broken heart.

She looked up, meeting the softness of Natalia's deep, expressive eyes. "I know …" she whispered, "and when I hear the sincerity in your voice, somehow … I believe you … I believe that I will …" she quietly assured. "But right now, I just … I can't focus on that …"

Natalia felt a surge of elation amidst all the negative emotions that surrounded them. That's the greatest gift you could've given me, Olivia, she thought, regarding the admission that Olivia knew she would one day share her God. She smiled softly at the hotelier. "I understand …" she said simply; waiting for Olivia to take the lead.

Olivia bit her lower lip, as she paced toward the window, contemplating her options with regard to the direction of their conversation. She stood there, hands pressing down on the windowsill, as she stared blankly across the snow-covered courtyard, listening to the pelting of ice as it struck against tempered glass. The ice felt like shards of glass piercing her heart, and she shivered at the intrinsic metaphorical implications; crossing her arms over her chest, as if placing a protective shield over her emblematic heart. "You and I have a lot more in common than you realize, Natalia," she said; her quieted tone pensive, "but … not under the guise of circumstances you might think …"

Natalia considered Olivia's words carefully. "Well, that sounds almost … cryptic …" she said with marked trepidation.

"I don't mean it to …" Olivia offered reassuringly; turning toward the Latina. "It's just that … there's a lot you don't know about my past, and … some of the things you think you know, aren't really what they seem …"

"That's really not any less cryptic, Olivia. In fact, it sounds rather ominous …" Natalia bluntly stated; regarding the hotelier with increasing wariness.

Tamping down her growing frustration, Natalia sighed softly as she approached Olivia, placing her hands on the arms that were still crossed over the hotelier's chest. "I don't mean to sound impatient, but … I really need you to stop talking in obscurities, and just tell me what this is all about …" she insisted; fingers lightly seizing Olivia's arms.

Olivia dropped her eyes, focusing on the hands that clutched her arms through the fabric of her jacket. "It's just not that simple …" she said quietly; her mind whirling in the twisted web of buried secrets, fabricated truths, and blatant lies that constituted a past she thought she had buried a whole other lifetime ago. "There's so Much that … I don't even know where to begin …"

Natalia offered her a faint smile, "The beginning might be a good place …" she gently suggested; shrugging her shoulders almost helplessly, as she pointed out the obvious.

"Yeah, you'd think – wouldn't ya?" Olivia replied sarcastically; though her tone was directed more inwardly than toward Natalia.

Sighing heavily; self-deprecation rising, she turned away from Natalia, walking back to stare out the window again, as she attempted to offer explanation, "But the life I lived before you, is all twisted together in this huge tangled mess of buried secrets and fabricated truths, with no discernable beginning or end, and … honestly, Natalia, I'm afraid of what you'll think of me, once you know the truth …"

As intensely as Natalia heard the pain in Olivia's tone, she felt it even more. And in that moment, she was forced to reconcile within herself, two things: One, that it hadn't been anger that fueled her earlier response; but rather, it was the deepest sense of fear she had ever experienced; and two, she knew in her heart that no matter what Olivia's secrets entailed, she would never judge her or hold the past against her. She loved Olivia too deeply for the past to come between them.

Approaching her from behind, Natalia slipped her arms around Olivia's slender waist; resting her cheek against a strong shoulder, as she wrapped the hotelier in a tender embrace. "There's nothing you could ever say that would change my love for you, Olivia," she quietly reassured.

"You sure about that?" Olivia quietly asked; "Because after some of the choices I've made, I oftentimes don't even respect me. So how could I expect that you would have any reason …"

"Hey …" Natalia softly interrupted; kissing Olivia's shoulder, "since when does Olivia Freakin' Spencer care what other people think?" she smiled; attempting to jostle the hotelier from her downward spiral.

Olivia leaned back into Natalia's embrace, resting her cheek against the Latina's. "I only care about what you and our children think," she quietly admitted. "The rest of the world can just go f…"

"'nough said – I get the point …" Natalia grinned; halting Olivia's declaration, and causing her to chuckle.

Natalia closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, as she tightened her arms around Olivia's waist, squeezing her gently; then exhaled a small sigh, as she loosened her hold. "I'm glad I could make you laugh …" she said quietly. "You're So … pensive, and … I can tell these secrets of yours are difficult for you to share …" she said empathically.

Angling her mouth toward Natalia's ear, Olivia whispered, "You're my best friend, Natalia – and the love of my life … It shouldn't be difficult for me to share anything with you …" she reasoned. "And it certainly isn't that I don't trust you … On the contrary, you're the first person I've ever been able to trust completely …"

Gently coaxing Olivia to turn in her arms, Natalia tenderly cupped Olivia's cheek, as she gazed into hazy pools of jade. "Tell me why trust comes at such a high price for you …"

Instantaneously, the tears began collecting in Olivia's eyes; burning them, as they threatened to overflow. She closed her eyes, attempting to quell the impending surge, "Because everyone I've ever loved or trusted in the past, has left me …" she quietly confessed. "My father died of a heart attack when I was a little girl, and … my mother … was never really there at all. Not like a mother should be …" she expounded; sounding forlorn.

Natalia tipped Olivia's chin, meeting tearstained eyes, "Not like you are for Emma and Ava …" she quietly encouraged; a small smile playing on her lips.

Olivia barked out a short, sardonic laugh. "I'm not half the mother you think I am …" she said caustically. "Just ask Ava and E…" She stopped herself short of finishing the comment; lest she jump too far ahead in her confessions, thus overwhelming Natalia.

"What are you talking about? Your girls adore you, Olivia," Natalia insisted.

"Oh, Believe me, that wasn't always the case …" Olivia said sardonically.

"I can't believe that, Olivia," Natalia countered, "Not in a million years. I live with you and Emma, and I've seen you with Ava. You're closer with them than any mothers and daughters I've ever known …"

"I tried to kill Ava, Natalia," Olivia blurted mordantly. "More than once. Almost went to prison for it, too …" she testified emotionlessly.

"You what?" Natalia replied; momentarily taken aback by the hotelier's confession.

"I tried to kill my own daughter … Natalia – Just like I killed my mother …" she reported; her voice as cold and lifeless as her eyes.

Natalia just stared at her in complete shock and disbelief; her mouth agape, as she attempted to process the unfathomable claims that emanated from the hotelier's mouth. But something in those frosty jade eyes told her Olivia wasn't posturing; she was telling at least some form of the cold, hard truth. It frightened her; not because of Olivia's confessions, but rather, because of the depth of pain and despair she must be feeling, to drain the vitality from those eyes she knew so well.

Once Natalia finally regained the ability to formulate coherent thoughts, she reached for Olivia; an amalgam of love and understanding flooding those dark, expressive eyes.

Olivia, in turn, simply shook her head despondently; turned, and walked back toward the window. Staring out across the vast expanse of the snow-covered courtyard once again; stark eyes locked on the quaint gazebo near the iced-over lake, as she swallowed hard; staving off the rising waters of guilt and shame. "I … I'm not ready to … to talk about Ava," she announced forthrightly; attempting to put off the inevitable.

Natalia nodded her head. "Whatever you wanna talk about … Whenever you're ready …" she said understandingly. "I'm here, Honey, and I … I won't pressure you. I'm sorry that I did before …"

"You don't need to apologize, Natalia," Olivia replied softly. "I don't blame you for wanting answers …" she sighed. "And … I think we should start with my mother …"

"Okay," Natalia agreed. "What happened … with your mother?" she quietly inquired, "Because … I know you didn't purposely hurt her …"

Olivia turned sharply toward her. "How could you possibly know that?" she barked; jade eyes flashing.

Completely unaffected by Olivia's latest outburst, Natalia immediately locked eyes with her. "Because I know You, Olivia," she announced, "You're not capable of …"

"I'm quite certain Ava would beg to differ …" Olivia interrupted; arching a decided eyebrow in argument.

"Stop it, Olivia!" Natalia commanded, dark eyes flashing; knowing the hotelier's divergence was yet another attempt at avoiding the real issues.

Effectively snapped into submission, Olivia immediately began her story. "I was sixteen … We were arguing, which wasn't anything new, but … this time, it was really nasty, because we were arguing about … my headstrong attitude, and … my self-destructive choices …" she averted; realizing she was getting ahead of herself. "We took it to a whole new level … I was screaming at her; telling her how much I hated her, and how I didn't want to be trapped in a dead-end life; how I didn't want to be like her. And while I was ranting and raving at her, she … she had a stroke …" she said simply.

Natalia went to her; pulling the hotelier into her arms, as she offered her an empathetic expression. "Olivia, you didn't kill her," she insisted. "She had a stroke, Honey," she reasoned; gently caressing the hotelier's cheek, "and that's not your fault …"

Olivia merely nodded her head in response. "You know, no matter how many times I've tried to use reason and logic to let myself off the hook, I still feel guilty," she confessed; shrugging her shoulders helplessly, as she shook her head. "It's like I told you outside Company that day – Emotions have nothing to do with logic. I feel guilty. One minute I had a mother; distant and judgmental as she may have been … I screamed at her, told her I hated her, and then she was gone. It's as simple, and as complex, as that."

"Nothing so complex could ever really be that simple, Olivia," Natalia disagreed; gently tucking wayward strands of chestnut hair behind the hotelier's ear.

"But it should've been simple, Natalia," Olivia quietly retorted. "All I ever wanted was for her to love me …" she quietly shared; the pain and longing in her voice shredding Natalia's heart into a million pieces. "But I just kept messing up, disappointing her. I never measured up to Marissa, and Sam, well … he was just a little boy; so innocent … After she was gone, I tried to make it up to her. I tried to be a good example for Sam, but no matter how much good I tried to do, I couldn't bring her back …" she said; the weight of her loss evident in her tone.

Natalia coaxed her into a warm embrace; offering her comfort. "I know, Honey …" she whispered against the hotelier's ear.

"And after my parents were both gone, Sam and Marissa were all I had left in the whole world …" Olivia said; sounding a bit forlorn.

Natalia pulled back slightly, offering her a curious expression. "I know Sam is your younger brother … Is Marissa your sister?" she deduced.

Swallowing hard around the lump in her throat, Olivia quietly answered; barely able to choke out the words, "Yeah … My older sister …"

The corners of Natalia's mouth widened into a smile, "So you have a sister!" she said excitedly. "Where is she? Does she still live in San Cristobel? Why haven't you ever mentioned her before?" she bombarded; eager to learn about Olivia's family.

Olivia dropped her eyes; forcing back tears. "She did … until her husband murdered her," she said quietly. "And now all I have left of her are memories …"

Tears welled up in Natalia's eyes, as she tipped Olivia's chin again. "Baby, I'm so sorry …" she quietly empathized; pulling the hotelier back into her arms, holding her close. "I had no idea how much you'd lost …"

Olivia clutched onto Natalia, as if clinging to her for life. "I loved her so much, Natalia," she sobbed; no longer able to hold back the emotions that churned within her. "She was … was my closest … friend in the entire world …" she cried. "She … she knew … all my secrets, and she … took care of … of Sam and me aft … after our parents were gone; and then … one day, she was just … gone, too …"

Now that the dam had broken, Olivia was no longer in control of the rush of emotions that began to spill forth. "She left me, just like my dad, and Alex, and Phillip, and even Josh; though, I know I deserved to have him leave me …" she sobbed. "But still, I trusted him. I needed him. I loved him. And he left me. Everyone leaves. I push them away …" she cried; clinging more tightly to Natalia.

"Not everyone …" Natalia said softly. "Not me …" she reassured; holding Olivia close.

Olivia melted into Natalia's embrace; allowing the younger woman to comfort her.

Several minutes later, Natalia felt Olivia's legs begin to weaken, as the density of the older woman's body increased. "Hey …" she said softly; "come sit with me …" she encouraged; attempting to coax Olivia from her arms.

Sniffing back tears, Olivia nodded her head, and complied; allowing Natalia to take her hand, and lead her to the sofa, where she collapsed in the Latina's arms once again.

She lay against Natalia's body, her cheek resting in the valley between ample breasts, as her body convulsed in sobs; tears cascading down, soaking Natalia's crisp white shirt.

Natalia just held her; offering her quiet reassurances, fingers tenderly raking through chestnut locks, as she allowed Olivia to release pent-up emotions; until finally, the tears and shaking ceased.

Then, tipping Olivia's chin to meet tearstained eyes, Natalia smiled softly at her. "No one understands the fear of abandonment better than I do, Honey," she whispered; gently tucking chestnut locks behind Olivia's ear. "And because I understand it so completely, I promise you right now, Olivia, I will never leave you …" she vowed.

Olivia knew instinctively that Natalia was talking not only about her parents and her beloved Abuela abandoning her when she learned she was pregnant with Rafe, but also about Gus abandoning her, not once, but twice. She opened her mouth to speak, but Natalia quieted her with the pressing of two fingers against her lips.

"I know how difficult it is for you to trust, Olivia," Natalia empathized. "I know what it took from you, the first time you admitted you needed me …"

"That was really hard. I was afraid to believe you would be there …" Olivia quietly admitted. "But you always were … you always are …" she said; her voice holding a somewhat mystical tone.

"I always will be …" Natalia whispered in promise; lightly kissing the crown of Olivia's head. "Just have faith in me, Olivia, and in the love that God has given us …"

Olivia snuggled deeper into Natalia's body; needing to be as close to the source of her safety as humanly possible. "I do …" she quietly breathed.

Natalia continued to hold her; fingers lightly playing in those soft chestnut locks, as Olivia quietly breathed against her. And once enough time had passed to allow Olivia to relax, Natalia delicately prodded the hotelier into further exploration of her past. "Tell me about Alex …" she gently implored.

Olivia drew in a breath at the mention of his name; then slowly exhaled. "Alex … was my Nicky, Natalia," she quietly confessed. "My first love, and … the first man I ever gave myself to … willingly …" she shared; that final word being carried on a fettered breath, as shadows of that night with Jeffrey O'Neill clouded the memory of what should have been a surrender of her heart and soul to someone she loved, rather than the vile theft of her innocence at the hands of a malevolent predator and his toxic cocktail of drugs and alcohol.

"You must've been really young, if you were with Alex before Jeffrey …" Natalia calculated based upon the erroneous information she had received through the Springfield grapevine.

"No …" Olivia said quietly; shaking her head in denial, "I ... I didn't meet Alex until years after Jeffrey …" she corrected.

Natalia quirked an eyebrow in confusion, "So … Jeffrey isn't Ava's father?"

Olivia closed her eyes; steeling herself for the imminent conversation. "Oh, Jeffrey very definitely is Ava's father … I just … I buried that fact, and even my daughter's existence, somewhere in my subconscious for years. And honestly, I think what happened with Alex actually caused me to bury the truth about Ava even deeper, and …"

Natalia pondered for a moment, attempting to reconcile the conflicting information. "You're not making any sense, Olivia," she said; confusion etched on her brow, "I thought …" and then she stopped; weighing the full extent of what Olivia was saying. "Wait … what are you talking about?" she asked; perplexed. "Why would you need to bury Ava's existence?"

Olivia looked up at her then, "The story that you've heard about Ava's conception … is a complete fabrication, Natalia," she began; her eyes devoid of emotion, voice cold and unfeeling, "A blatant lie, constructed to protect Jeffrey's reputation, and to shelter Ava from the stigma of her birth …"

The emotionless tone in that usually passionate voice, coupled with the lifeless expression in those eyes that always popped with vitality, told the story that Natalia wished she had never heard; and mahogany eyes instantaneously flooded with tears. "Oh, my God …" she uttered; her voice a strangled breath, as she nearly choked on the words.

Those three words and the intonation in Natalia's voice were all Olivia needed to hear. Instinctively, she knew that the intuitive Latina had deciphered the truth beneath her vague words; and she was grateful to be spared having to speak the truth out loud.

Natalia pulled Olivia closer, offering her comfort and security as she allowed her to cry. And without even realizing it, her own tears were soon mingling with Olivia's. "Baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Natalia sobbed; her tears soaking into Olivia's hair, and trailing down the hotelier's cheek. It wasn't an apology for any wrongs she had committed; but rather, it was the outpouring of the grief she felt for the young girl who had endured unspeakable acts, which her own sheltered mind could not even fathom; and for the strong, spirited woman who had arisen from the ruins of those acts, and taken charge of the world around her. No wonder you shelter your heart … No wonder you're so afraid to show vulnerability, even with me … Her mind reeled in the truth; confused at how the God she knew could allow such a heinous act to be perpetrated upon anyone; let alone on a young, innocent girl. "How could he do that to you? How could anyone Ever hurt you that way?" she wept; the questions posed more toward herself and to God, than to the woman trembling in her arms. I swear … I would do anything to take this pain away from you …

It was an unspoken vow, made to Olivia, in the presence of God; one to which Natalia held steadfastly, as she cradled the woman she loved in her arms, and cried with her.

Not surprisingly, it took Olivia nearly half an hour to finally calm down and regain her composure. And all the while, Natalia simply held her; sometimes gently stroking her hair, sometimes tenderly kissing her temple or brow, sometimes crying along with her, and always, always, whispering calming words of love and support against her ear.

"Thank you …" Olivia gulped; sniffing back tears, when she finally regained the ability to speak.

"For what?" Natalia quietly asked.

"For just being here … Being you …" Olivia answered; gratitude in her soft tone.

"There's no place else I'd rather be, than right here, with you …" Natalia whispered; brushing her lips against Olivia's temple once again. "I just wish the circumstances were different …"

Olivia sighed heavily. "Believe me, I would rather be talking about anything else," she said exasperatingly; "but you deserve to know the truth – about everything … You deserve to know what you're getting yourself into …"

Natalia reached down, drawing Olivia's eyes toward her own with the light touch of a finger under the hotelier's chin. Tearstained mahogany meeting diluted jade, she smiled softly. "Don't you get it, Olivia? Don't you know by now?" she quietly posed; the totality of their shared history standing in the gap; forming an immovable buttress for their future.

Olivia knew instinctively what Natalia was implying: After all we've been through; after all the things you've done to push me away, I'm still here … But she said not a word, as she allowed Natalia space to elaborate.

"I will never give up on you, Olivia …" Natalia whispered softly. "Never," she solemnly vowed. "And I know I got angry earlier. I … I worked myself into a fit, and I don't even know why," she admitted; truly baffled by her inexplicable behavior. "But I know you, Olivia. I know the real you; the person that the rest of the world doesn't get to see. And I know that whatever secrets you have buried in the past, whatever lies you've told, you had good reason …" she recognized.

Tears filled with guilt and shame flooded Olivia's eyes once again, as she gazed into those sincere mahogany pools. "I'm so scared of disappointing you, Natalia. I'm scared of letting you down …" she confessed; sniffing back the tears. "I never wanna give you cause for regret …"

"I have faith in you …" Natalia replied simply; her voice quiet, yet firm, as she gently caressed Olivia's cheek with the backs of her fingers, before lightly cupping the hotelier's chin, and kissing her softly.

Five simple words. That's all Natalia spoke. Yet within them, Olivia found both peace regarding her past; and hope for their future. Never would she have imagined that such simple words could hold within them the power to unleash the stranglehold of her past; and yet here she was, lying safely in the arms of the one who loved her, ready to share truths she had only revealed to Buzz in an unguarded moment; and more than that, ready to share with Natalia, secrets she hadn't spoken of since a cold winter's night in London, nearly twenty years prior.

"You have faith in me …" Olivia quietly echoed; the timbre in her voice exuding an amalgam of awe and wonder. Only her father, her siblings, and Josh had ever really believed any good even existed within her; and No one, had ever found her worthy of having faith in her. Not until now. Not until Natalia. And the revelation, while a simple admission of love and truth to Natalia, became a truly life-altering moment for Olivia; and the tears in her eyes threatened, once again, to spill. "No one's ever had faith in me before …" she shared; her voice crackling with pent-up emotion. "Not even myself …" she admitted candidly; "which is probably why I'm so afraid I'll end up screwing this up so badly that I finally managed to push you away …"

Using her fingertip, Natalia drew Olivia's eyes up to meet her own once again; bestowing upon her, a soft smile. "And what exactly is it that makes you think you'd be successful at pushing me away now?" she challenged; arching an eyebrow.

Olivia offered her a confused expression. "What do you mean?" she asked; her mind a mangled mess of thoughts and emotions.

Natalia grinned at her. "Olivia Spencer, without a doubt, you are the most stubborn, pig-headed woman I've ever met …" she began; daring the hotelier to challenge her. "You pushed every button I have, trying to piss me off and push me away after your transplant; and none of your bullshit worked," she reminded. "So what I'm asking you is: If you couldn't manage to rid yourself of me when I could barely stand the sight of you most days, then what makes you think you could push me away … now that I am completely …" she whispered, kissing the hotelier softly, "totally …" she nearly crooned; tilting her head the other way, kissing her again, "and hopelessly … in love with you?" she quietly posed; smiling, as she covered Olivia's mouth in a slow, meaningful kiss.

And when their kiss ended, Olivia smiled at her. "You really couldn't stand the sight of me?" she asked; echoing Natalia's inadvertent confession.

"Honestly?" Natalia replied; rising cadence in her voice announcing the question within the word, "It wouldn't have mattered how much you pissed me off … I couldn't have stayed away from you if I tried …" she quietly confessed.

"What – because you're a masochist, and you're in serious need of some therapy?" Olivia grinned.

"No …" Natalia chuckled; once again charmed by Olivia's sarcastic sense of humor. Her expression turned serious then; as she slowly searched those jade eyes that were locked onto her own, "because … what I really couldn't stand was the thought of not seeing you … Of not having you in my life …"

Olivia searched the depth of Natalia's eyes, as if she was searching the very soul of the woman herself. "You really Mean that – don't you?" she said; more statement than question.

"I really do …" Natalia quietly reinforced; a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "You were a part of me, Olivia – even back then, and I couldn't bear the thought of letting you go …"

Olivia lowered her head, and nodded; accepting Natalia's words as truth. Then, looking back into those dark expressive eyes, she posed, "Know why I tried so hard to get rid of you?"

"Why?" Natalia quietly asked; gently caressing tipping Olivia's chin.

"Because I wanted, more than anything, for you to stay …" Olivia quietly confessed; dropping Natalia's steady gaze. "I know … that doesn't make any sense …"

Natalia reached out, gently caressing Olivia's cheek. "It makes perfect sense to me, because I understand you …" she quietly declared. "I understand that wanting me to stay was scary for you …"

"It was … it scared the hell outta me, Natalia …" she acknowledged softly, "because … admitting, even to myself, that I needed you, that I wanted you in my life, that I trusted you to always be there, left me more vulnerable than I've ever been … It left me vulnerable to losing you. And just the mere thought of losing you, was more than I could bear …" she confessed. "So … in my twisted way of thinking, I figured that if I pushed you away, before I was forced to admit how much I needed you; needed to trust you, well … then it wouldn't hurt as much when I finally managed to alienate you …"

Natalia drew Olivia's eyes back to meet her own. "Lucky for us, I'm as stubborn as you are …" she whispered; kissing her tenderly.

Olivia moaned softly, as Natalia's lips met her own. "Lucky for us …" she quietly echoed against the softness of the Natalia's mouth; thankfulness for her Love's steadfastness evident in her tone.

And when their kiss ended, Natalia met Olivia's eyes; surveying them with deep consideration. "Are you okay to talk about all of this?" she asked; genuine concern evident in her voice; "Because if it's too much, I'll understand …"

A soft smile graced the corner of Olivia's lips, as her heart swelled with a deep sense of love and appreciation for Natalia's thoughtful nature. "I love you, so much, for that," she declared. "And I thank you for being so considerate. I'm fine, though. Really," she reassured. And having come to the realization that buried secrets only lose their power when they're excavated, and exposed to the light of truth, Olivia made the decision to move ahead with the conversation; no matter how difficult it might be was in the end. "As difficult as it may be, I'd rather get everything out on the table, Natalia. It's the only way to strip the past of its power over me – And it's the only way to be truly fair to you …"

Natalia nodded her head, indicating that she understood exactly what Olivia meant. "Okay …" she quietly acquiesced; "but please just … know that it's your callwhen it comes how much you tell me, and when …" she reminded. "I never should have demanded that you talk to me about your past, Olivia. I was being insecure and completely ridiculous, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you …" she sincerely apologized.

Olivia smiled softly at her, and reached out, tenderly brushing raven tresses from Natalia's brow. "I have my moments of insecurity, too, Sweetheart …" she whispered empathically; forgiveness ensconced not only within the softness of her eyes and gentle cadence of her voice, but also within the tender kiss that followed.

When lips parted, eyes locked, and Olivia took Natalia's hands into her own; searching the depths of those dark expressive pools, as her mind searched for a place to begin the long dark journey into her past. And finding no comfortable segue, she simply admitted the obvious, "There's no easy way to begin this …"

Natalia squeezed Olivia's hands. "Just take your time …" she quietly instructed; "I'm not going anywhere …"

And that simple statement gave the hotelier the courage to begin. Taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly, Olivia plunged into the past. "Growing up, I was completely enamored with all the accouterments of the lifestyle of San Cristobel's Aristocracy. The Royal Palace and gardens were absolutely majestic; literally like a scene in some fairytale …" she said, an air of wonder in her voice, as though she were seeing them through childlike eyes once again. "And the luxury cars and horse-driven carriages, their royal attire and all the jewels … it was all so appealing to me, and I wanted to see it up close, so … I decided to sneak into an Embassy ball. I was … barely sixteen, and … I'd never been allowed to date or even attend a school dance, 'cause well, you know – a good Catholic mother would never allow her teenaged daughter to go off on a date with a boy …" she said sardonically. "Not that dating girls would've been an option, either, mind you, but, well … you know what I mean …"

Natalia gently swept her fingers through chestnut locks; allowing Olivia the comfort that unbefitting humor often brought to her. "I know …" she sighed; completely understanding the underlying reference to the Catholic Church's stance on such issues as premarital sex and homosexuality. "I always had to sneak around to see Nicky, and God forbid if I had ever shown an interest in a girl …"

"Exactly …" Olivia affirmed with the roll of her eyes. "And it killed me not to be able to date, because I felt like I was meant to grow up fast. I mean, well … as you might imagine, I was what one would consider an early bloomer – My body developed really early; I looked twenty-one when I was twelve," she reported; eyes widening in emphasis, "which, of course, made all the boys at my school clamor for my attention. Hell, even college guys were after me – I guess because my personality and physique made me seem older and more mature than my age," she explained. "And … I won't lie to you, Natalia – I loved all that attention; all the compliments, the admiring glances from men and boys alike; but I have to admit, I liked the college boys more, because they were a lot more interesting and fun than boys my own age. And the endless string of invitations to high school and college parties, movies, and dances made me feel so grown up that I thought I was mature enough to handle all that attention …" she reported. "So when I read an article about the Embassy ball in the local newspaper, well, you know how headstrong I am, and despite my mother's warnings to stay away from boys, I decided to sneak out of the house after she went to bed that night, and check out the festivities. It was exhilarating, getting dressed up to go to a ball, so I ignored that nagging feeling in my gut that told me I shouldn't disobey my mother. I don't know why I didn't listen to her …" she said; quietly chastising herself. "She cautioned me repeatedly, that I had to be careful around the opposite sex because, as she said, my body evoked expectations in both men and boys, and they couldn't be expected to control themselves if I flaunted it in front of them …" she reported.

Sighing softly, Olivia closed her eyes; attempting to dissuade the harrowing images of that fateful night; the night that irrevocably altered the course of her life. "It wasn't until that night, at the Embassy ball, that I fully understood what she meant …" she said quietly; the painful consequences of her choices evident in her tone.

Sensing the hopelessness and self-blame in Olivia's tone, Natalia gently tipped the hotelier's chin, meeting tearstained eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but Olivia quickly intervened; halting her before she could utter a word.

"I know what you're gonna say, but … please don't. Okay?" Olivia beseeched. "I just … I need to get through this, before I lose my courage …"

Holding Olivia's chin in her hand, Natalia tenderly kissed her lips. It was a kiss of comfort and understanding, rather than passion, and it spoke to Olivia all that she needed to hear. "I'm listening …" she whispered; encouraging Olivia to continue.

Olivia nodded her head in response. "I arrived at the palace, and there must've been several hundred people there, waiting to get in. I met this really nice boy outside the main entrance. Not really a boy, but rather a young man; college age, I guessed. He was tall and handsome in his black top hat and tails, with short, dark hair and even darker eyes. He asked if he might escort me inside, and well, that was my ticket to an easy entrance, so, of course, I accepted. Little did I know … that one choice would forever alter my future …" Olivia said; deep regret tainting her voice.

Natalia gently caressed Olivia's cheek, as she searched those deep pools of jade; silently offering comfort and encouragement.

Olivia turned her head; kissing Natalia's palm, as she closed her eyes to stave off the tears; then continued, "Once inside, I found myself completely mesmerized by the sheer grandeur of it all – it was like nothing I had ever seen or even imagined … The lavishness of the décor, the full, rich reverberations of the royal orchestra resonating throughout the vestibule, filling the space with an air of elegant affluence … It was all just so overwhelming. And when he took my arm, I felt like a princess, floating along as we followed the harmonious sounds into the main ballroom. I could swear my feet never touched the ground … And then the ballroom? It was … majestic …" she breathed; the slightest hint of awe in her voice. "The ceilings seemed as high as the clouds, and there was a mural painted on it; reminding me of pictures I'd seen of the Sistine Chapel. It was just … absolutely breathtaking …" she exhaled. "And there were the most beautiful crystal chandeliers – an immense, five-tiered one in the center of the room, and matching three-tiered ones outlining the perimeter; bathing the entire room in a soft glow, almost like candlelight. Everything in the room, from the ornate furniture to the elaborate frames on the hand-painted portraits of San Cristobel's Royalty, and renderings of the lush landscapes of their island home, seemed to be made of pure gold; shimmering in the light. And there were hundreds more people inside the ballroom; all of them dancing, and eating and drinking, and laughing, and I … I couldn't believe I was standing there, on the arm of a handsome young man, being welcomed by Prince Richard and Prince Edmund. I felt as though I had been swept away into the land of fairytales and dreams – Only I was awake, and this was real …"

Compassionate eyes tenderly traced the outline of Olivia's face. "But then your fairytale dream turned into a nightmare …" Natalia said understandingly; reaching out, gently tucking a wayward lock of chestnut hair behind Olivia's ear.

Olivia nodded her head and swallowed hard around the lump in her throat, as she sniffed back more tears and contemplated her words.

The expression on Olivia's face, the hopelessness in those characteristically vibrant eyes, reminded Natalia of the afternoon just a few days prior, when Olivia was distraught over Phillip's return; and she ached to offer her comfort, in whatever way she was able. She drew Olivia into her arms again, holding her close, as she waited for the story to continue.

"He asked me to dance, and … I had such a wonderful time, with him twirling and spinning me around the dance floor – like my daddy used to spin me around our living room when I was a little girl …

"Sounds like you were really close to your dad growing up …" Natalia softly surmised; fingers tenderly raking through chestnut locks.

"Um-hmm …" Olivia confirmed; nodding her head up and down against Natalia's chest. "He was the kind of father I thought Phillip would be for Emma, but … that just … it didn't happen, because he went all psycho on us when she was a baby …"

"I know, Honey …" Natalia whispered comfortingly; fingers gently caressing the base of Olivia's neck. "And that's when he kidnapped her …"

"Yeah …" Olivia sighed. "He kidnapped all of his children, because he thought Beth, Harley and I were unfit to raise them …"

"I'm sorry Emma never had a chance to have the father you dreamed for her …" Natalia said softly.

"Me too …" Olivia sighed; sniffling. "And I wish I could have spared Ava the truth about her father …"

"Is there more you wanna tell me about that?" Natalia gently prodded.

Olivia drew in a deep breath; staving off her rising anxiety. "Yes …" she exhaled; her voice barely a breath. "I don't have a whole lot of clear memories of what happened that night, because I realized far too late that he had spiked my drinks with alcohol and some sort of drug, but … I remember the punch was cold, with fresh fruit and ice cream, and it tasted so sweet … He kept my glass full, and I didn't resist, because it was warm in the ballroom, and the punch was refreshing … And then I began to feel lightheaded, dizzy, even, and … all I could think was that I was about to be sick or even pass out …" she reported; a wave of nausea washing over her as though it were happening right there in the moment. She sucked in another deep breath; tamping down the nausea; then exhaling, she continued, "He was so kind and considerate … offered to take me upstairs to one of the guest rooms so I could rest … And I agreed, because everything was spinning, and I knew if I didn't lie down soon, the nausea would overtake me …"

"So he took you upstairs …" Natalia said softly; more statement than question.

Olivia nodded her head. "Yeah …" she confirmed. "He practically had to carry me up the stairs, because I was so out of it by that point that I could barely stand on my own two feet …" she elaborated. "He led to a bedroom at the end of a really long hallway, and once we were inside, he helped me onto the bed, and lay down next to me. He was sweet …" she sighed, "so sweet, the way he held me, and stroked my hair … He told me everything was gonna be okay; that I'd feel better soon …" she recalled; the memories rushing back in waves.

Natalia sensed Olivia's rising emotions, offering silent comfort, as held her close, and gently kissed her brow.

Olivia sank into Natalia's body; clinging to her for the courage to continue, as the worst of the story loomed on the horizon. "And then he started kissing me, and … I liked it … I-I liked it ..." she nearly cried; the guilt and shame washing over her again. "Then he started touching me … in ways that he shouldn't; ways that I didn't want him to," she gulped; nearly choking on the lump of trepidation in her throat, as she began to cry in earnest.

Once again, Natalia's heart ached for the woman she loved; and cradling Olivia close, she closed her eyes, as her own tears began to fall.

Olivia gulped hard, and continued, "I knew … things were going too far … and I didn't … I didn't want it, Natalia. I didn't want it, but … I blacked out …" she cried.

"I know you didn't, Sweetheart," Natalia whispered through her tears. "I know … and I'm so sorry he hurt you …"

"And … when I woke up, I was in the same bed, and my clothes were messed up, and he was gone … I … I knew … I knew what had happened …" she sobbed; clutching Natalia's waist with all her might.

Natalia just held her; once again allowing her to cry, as her own tears fell in torrents. And when Olivia's sobs finally slowed, she found her voice again, "I sat up, feeling weak and dazed, and when I was finally able to focus, there was this guy in a suit standing there, watching me. I guess they figured out that I was only sixteen. He threw my purse in my face, dragged me from the room, and took me out the back door; where he stuck me into a car. They drove me home; practically shoving me out of the car while it was still in motion, they were so eager to get rid of me …" she said bitterly. And then her disposition turned solemn again. "I never reported it. I was too ashamed to tell anyone, Natalia, because … I thought it was my fault … I mean, I shouldn't have been drinking … I shouldn't have been at that party …" she stated; her voice dripping with guilt.

"Your fault?" Natalia echoed incredulously. "No, Olivia," she adamantly argued, "Just No. He violated you. There's nothing about that that could be your fault."

"I know that now," Olivia assured, "but when my memories of that night first resurfaced, and I realized what Jeffrey had done, he tried to convince me that I was asking for it, because I was dressed up and pretended to be older than I really was, and … it made sense because even my mother told me it was my fault …"

"Hey …" Natalia interjected; tipping Olivia's chin to meet her eyes, "I don't care how you were dressed, how old he thought you were, or how much you had to drink – that didn't give him the right to take advantage of you …" she declared; incredulity in her tone.

"Maybe not, but … I certainly didn't do anything to discourage the attention," Olivia argued self-deprecatingly.

"Olivia, you didn't do anything to deserve what happened to you …" Natalia reiterated.

"I know … I-I know that now, but … I was sixteen, and I was scared, and I didn't even know the name of the guy back then. I didn't know it was Jeffrey …" she said; emotion rising in her voice. "And when I found out I was pregnant, the guilt and the shame became unbearable … I mean, the thought of telling my mother …" she exhaled sharply; gathering her resolve to continue. "I pulled myself together; and … and I got angry. I got so angry, and … I went back to the Embassy, because I wanted to tell them. I … I wanted to tell them there was no way I was gonna face this situation alone …"

Natalia read the remnants of despair in Olivia's eyes, and gently took her hand. "They weren't any help – were they?" she astutely surmised.

"No …" Olivia sighed heavily. "They sent the man in the suit to talk with me; and he listened to my story … And then I told him I needed to see a guest list … I needed to know who had done this to me … I-I needed them to stand by me when I went to the police … The man seemed concerned as he listened politely to my story, and then he left …" she reported matter-of-factly. "And when he came back, he handed me an envelope full of cash, and told me very politely that no one would ever believe my story, and that I should just take the money and get the hell outta there, and … and never, ever come back, because there was no way they were gonna stand by me. So, that's what I did. I took the money, and I left … I went home, and I finally found the courage to tell my mother what happened, because …" she exhaled, emotion rising in her voice, "because she's my mother, and she's gonna defend me, and … and protect me …"

Natalia heard the unspoken anguish in Olivia's voice; felt the sense of abandonment she must have experienced, even before she uttered the next words …

"And … all she could say to me was 'I Told ya! I Warned ya,'" she reported; sniffing back tears. "I … I told her I wanted an abortion. I … I was scared, and … and angry … I didn't know what to do, and … But she said 'no … no, no … you're gonna carry this child to term, and give it up for adoption, and there'll be no debate …'"

"This was the argument you told me about …" Natalia accurately surmised; her fingers gently tunneling through chestnut curls. "The one where she had the stroke …"

"Yeah …" Olivia confirmed; nodding her head, as she sniffed back tears. "She didn't care about how violated and dirty I felt, every second that this … thing ... continued to grow inside of me … All she cared about was her precious religion …" she spat; her clear disdain for religion evident in her acrid tone. "Never mind how much anguish her daughter was experiencing, as long as we don't piss off the Almighty …"

Natalia sighed softly, and gently tucked wayward tendrils behind Olivia's ear. "It's no wonder you're so cynical about God …" she empathized; tenderly wiping tears from the older woman's cheeks with the pads of her thumbs.

Olivia exhaled a caustic laugh. "Ha! Yeah," she barked; "And we're not even half way to why God and I don't often kick it, and throw back a few beers …" she said sardonically.

Her comment, of course, earned her a softly chastising expression from Natalia; to which, Olivia sighed softly, and promptly apologized.

Her thoughts turned ponderous again, as she remembered the conflicting emotions that warred within her during that tumultuous period of her life. "You know it's funny … one minute you're yelling at someone, and the next … they're dead, because of you …" she said; her lifeless eyes telling the story mere words could never adequately express.

Feeling discomfited under the steadiness of Natalia's gaze, Olivia rose from the sofa then; shoving her hands into the front pockets of her charcoal gray trousers, as she began pacing the floor again. "After she died, I … I stayed in bed for days; weeks, even, and at that point, it was too late … it was, it was … too late to terminate the pregnancy … I was stuck … I was stuck with this … thing inside of me, that I resented, and … hated …" she confessed, as the emotions surged again, and the tears began to fall. "And I hated it, until I gave birth to it, and … got rid of it … And I spent the next twenty years, just trying to forget …" she sobbed; covering her face with her hands. "All I wanted to do was forget …"

Natalia wanted to go to her; to comfort her; but she understood Olivia's need for space, as she continued down the long and winding path of her past. I know she needs space right now, so please just … be with her, and comfort her for me, God … Let her feel Your love as well as mine, surrounding her … And please, give her the words to express her emotions, and the strength to lend voice to them … Natalia prayed. And having issued a silent petition to God for strength for the woman she loved, Natalia simply held onto her faith, as she allowed the hotelier time to collect herself.

Choking back tears, and wiping the remnants from her face, Olivia turned toward her then; but eye contact didn't follow this time. "I never cried, Natalia …" she reported; a far-away look in those deep jade eyes. "Not once, through the entire ordeal … Can you even imagine that?" she asked; incredulity in her tone, as she finally locked eyes with the Latina; searching those dark expressive pools filled with love and compassion for her.

Before Natalia could respond, Olivia tore her eyes away from the dark intensity that gazed into her own, turning to stare out across the courtyard once again. "I never cried …" she reiterated; almost as though she needed to hear it again just to believe it herself. "Not after I realized what he had done … not when my mother chose to judge me, rather than comfort me, not …" she gulped; pressing her hands against the window sill, "not when I realized I was pregnant, and … and not even when I gave my daughter away …" She swallowed hard, as she searched for the words to describe that moment. "I looked at my own child; into the sweet, innocent face of my baby girl, and I hated her, Natalia," she confessed. "She was the bane of my existence, and I felt … nothing when I gave her away …"

Natalia went to her then; wrapping her arms around the hotelier's slender waist again. "You didn't hate her, Olivia," she gently disagreed; "You hated what she represented …"

Olivia closed her eyes, as she sank into the comfort of Natalia's embrace. "I know that now …" she quietly acknowledged; sniffing back tears, "but it's little consolation … Back then, she was nothing but a harsh reminder of what happened that night …" she confessed. "I remember rolling over in my hospital bed, literally turning my back on her, as they took her away, and … I buried her existence somewhere in the back of my mind, until the day I was forced to acknowledge her …"

Tightening her hold around Olivia's waist, Natalia nuzzled into her neck; gently kissing the soft skin beneath her lips. "You never told anyone about her?" she said quietly; equal parts statement and question.

"No …" Olivia confirmed; her tone soft, yet filled with unspoken emotion. "Marissa helped me through the pregnancy; and she was there with me when Ava was born, but … we never talked about her after they took her away …" she shared. "In fact, I never talked about her, or … about what he did to me, with anyone again, until the day I told Buzz …"

Natalia pulled away slightly, arching a questioning eyebrow. "Buzz knows?" she interjected; sounding more than a bit surprised.

"Yeah …" Olivia verified; nodding her head. "I had been arrested for …" she sighed guiltily, "for trying to kill her, and … as they were taking me away, I was crying, begging her to make them stop. She just stared at me, with these dark, disdainful eyes; and that's when I completely lost it, and in this fit of tearful word vomit, I told her that she was making a mistake, because she was my daughter. And then, after I was released on bail, Buzz kept pushing me to talk with her; to apologize …" she expounded. "I refused, of course, because I was so angry; hated her so much, but … he just, he wouldn't let it go … And finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I blurted out that I had hated her since before she was born, because of the way she was conceived …"

Turning in Natalia's arms, Olivia locked eyes with her. "That night changed me, Natalia. It changed everything about me. I lost … my innocence. I lost my mother. I lost … my life …" she said; her voice barely more than a whisper, as tears clouded the clarity Natalia had grown accustomed to finding when those deep jade eyes gazed into her own.

Natalia gently cupped Olivia's face in her hands; thumbs tenderly caressing the hotelier's cheeks. "I know, Baby … and I'm so sorry …" she quietly sympathized; kissing her softly. It was a kiss of comfort, rather than passion, and it left Olivia feeling more loved and protected than she ever had in her life. "I wish there was some way I could change that for you – Some way I could help you heal …" she said solemnly; sliding her hands down Olivia's arms, intertwining the hotelier's hands with her own.

Olivia smiled softly at her. "Don't you know? You already have …" she quietly acknowledged; tears flooding her eyes for the umpteenth time that afternoon. "Just being with you; creating this beautiful life that we share … Falling in love with you; and feeling your love for me grow deeper and stronger every day … has healed wounds inside of me that I thought could never be healed …" she declared; her voice low and brimming with emotion. Reaching up, she tenderly touched Natalia's cheek, "Knowing that you love me; that you believe in me, has changed me, healed me, in ways you'll never understand, Natalia – and I am so Very thankful for you …" she quietly confessed.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Natalia pulled Olivia close against her body. "I understand better than you think I do …" she softly countered; tucking a wayward chestnut locks behind Olivia's ear, before bestowing another tender kiss upon the hotelier's lips.

And when their lips parted, she locked eyes with Olivia again. "What I don't understand, though, is why you would try to protect him … Why you would marry him …" she said, the question embedded in her tone, as she attempted to comprehend the implications of Olivia's seemingly paradoxical choices.

"To protect my daughter from the truth …" Olivia said simply. "He promised he would never try to find her, if I agreed to keep his past a secret," she reported.

"Wait … I thought Ava knew?" Natalia countered; the question evident in her tone, as confusion etched itself into her brow.

"Oh, she does know the truth – thanks to all the bitterness I had locked away inside of me …" Olivia candidly confessed. "I don't even know why I hated her so much in the beginning. It was like … something inside of me knew all along that she was my daughter, but … I just couldn't bring myself to acknowledge it, because I had tried so hard all those years just to forget … And then when I finally realized she really was my daughter, I honestly think I hated her even more," she confessed. "I even told her one day, that … every time I saw her, it took me back to that night – that she was a walking, talking reminder of how it happened; of how I was used and tossed out like the morning trash …" she expounded; tears of regret sliding down her cheeks.

Natalia reached out, wiping the tears away with the pads of her thumbs. "She knows you didn't mean it, Olivia …" she attempted to reassure.

Olivia shook her head in dissent. "But I did mean it ... at least back then …" she countered; regret embossed in those piercing jade eyes. And then her tone quieted, as she considered the drastic change that occurred within her, as she came to know her daughter. "I love Ava so much now, and I will always regret that I used the truth to try to hurt her. I never wanted anyone else to have to power to do that to her, so I kept his secret from the world, to protect her …" she quietly shared.

Mahogany searched jade, as Natalia considered Olivia's words, and reaching out, she tipped the hotelier's chin. "Knowing that, I just don't understand how you can doubt yourself as a mother, Olivia," she declared. "You love your girls, and I know you would protect them with your life …"

Averting those probing mahogany eyes, Olivia pulled away from Natalia, and stood up from the sofa. Shoving her hands into the pockets of her trousers, she sighed discontentedly. She paced the floor for several minutes; Natalia's eyes tracking her every move, as she weighed her words carefully, before responding. And finally, meeting Natalia's eyes, Olivia spoke. "You're right, Natalia … I would protect my girls with my life," she readily conceded. "The problem is … I didn't do the same for my son …"

Natalia just sat there.

Stock still.

Staring at Olivia.

Waiting …

TBC…