Tainted Silver
- Chapter 11 -
"So you think you got through to him?," Sango asked again to make sure.
Miroku nodded and averted his gaze to Kagome's figure in the bed. He felt pity for her.
"I wish we'd met in different circumstances," he admitted.
"I agree."
"She would have lived with her grandfather and we would have lived together in the market somewhere," he said dreamily.
Sango look at him, her lover, with something akin to awe. She felt like she was bursting with love as her eyes filled with tears.
"We'd sell meat or maybe run a small restaurant!," he went on excitedly.
"Oh Miroku," she sobbed as she crawled into his arms.
Miroku, like her, was crying. Things such as these were mere dreams. It had been this way for many years and the pain didn't seem to dull.
"We'd have about five kids running around screaming out for their mama," he said in a shaky voice, "Rin would be Sesshomaru's daughter and Kagome his intended. Shippou, Souta, and Kohaku would be the town ruffians."
They laughed through their tears. Sango nudged Miroku and they rose together. They left quickly with their arms around each other, giving the other comfort. Sesshomaru watched them with knowing eyes, envious eyes. At least they had each other. Sure, he had Rin to be his little ray of light in his dark, lonesome life, but it wasn't the same. They had the type of love he craved. Not the love you have for your grandmother, but the love you have for your wife or husband. That love. The kind of love that nags at you because you want to touch, feel, know.
'I'm turning into a bloody poet,' he muttered to himself.
He looked up and found himself in front of Kagome's door, his hand on the door knob, and the door opened slightly.
'Why?,' he demanded from himself with frustration.
He stepped in without a noise, half-heartedly willing himself away from her. He laid his intensely golden eyes on her disheveled figure. HE clawed and tried to grip onto the last threads of his calm sanity. He felt his stomach sink and knew he'd lost any power of reasoning.
'I've lost any and all of my sanity over a young and naïve girl. An innocent girl.'
He closed the odor quietly while fighting the urgency to go closer, to watch her, to memorize her.
'Crazy,' he berated, 'absolutely reckless!'
He sat down on her bed and studied her face. Her cheeks were marred with tear stains. He idly wondered if he was the cause of them.
'It is a possibility…'
"Am I to blame?"
"No," she whispered heavily, startling Sesshomaru.
'She was awake the entire time?!'
"Then what is?," he asked calmly, as if he'd known all along.
She sniffed and dragged the back of her hand across her eyes.
"You'll think I'm stupid…"
'Not that you don't already,' she added in thought.
She lifted her legs over the edge and sat next to her captivator. She felt uneasy and had no real wish to answer his question. However, she had the feeling that he wanted an answer.
"You guys have had it hard," she finally said, "and it registered a few minutes ago."
His golden eyes watched her, keeping his senses on her, confused.
"Sango and everybody else but you told me their stories. Sango's unknown background and Miroku's thieveries before finding something akin to a family. I knew this and pitied them, but it did not register."
"We do not need your pity ningen," he sneered angrily.
I don't want you to give it all up
"All they want is a simple life, similar to the one I have," she continued through tears, as if she hadn't heard him.
And leave your own life collecting dust
Sesshomaru looked away from her saddened features, his hands anxious to wipe her tears away. She understood, like before. His pulse raced of its own accord. He had no control whatsoever. He surprised both as he enveloped her in his embrace.
"I'm sorry… I didn't understand until now," she whispered.
He growled, his eyes flashing with anger. He didn't want or need her pity!
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
She stood up and away from him.
'How dare she,' he sneered mentally, 'even when I offered comfort!'
"You don't have to comfort me to keep me quiet and obedient."
"Good," he growled, his pride wounded.
"Because I'm neither quiet nor obedient and never will be. Learn this and everything will be just fine," she added icily.
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
"You have been honest," he said carefully, "since Rin brought you here. So now I ask you and await an honest response: Why are you so eager to leave?"
"I've told you already! My grandfather needs me."
"Is that all?"
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
Their eyes locked for a moment and he saw her sincerity in them.
You know I'd do that for you
"Do you feel alone?," she asked suddenly.
She watched him curiously. At her question he tensed and awareness flickered over his eyes.
"No."
So why are you running away?
She nodded, accepting his lie.
'I can see you're lying this time…'
He glared at her sheets, paying close attention to her aura. Anxiety, sadness, and a tinge of hope. He allowed himself to break his promise and floated among her thoughts.
"I spy," started Sango boredly, "something-."
"The green scarf hanging off the chair," interrupted Sesshomaru.
Sango glared at him from her place across from him in the kitchen.
"Alright. I spy something-."
"The fire logs next to the stove," he interrupted again.
Sango's hands twisted her obi viciously. Miroku chuckled at her antics.
"How'd you do that?," asked Kohaku in awe.
"Can you read minds?," Souta asked behind him.
"When's dinner?," whined Shippou.
Sesshomaru looked at them and then the adults in his family.
"I can read thoughts, yes," he explained. "I'm still working on blocking the thoughts out."
"Thanks," Sango said with a smile. "I'm sure you don't want to hear or see our thoughts when-."
"I don't want to know Sango."
Miroku and Sango laughed and the kids plagued him with multiple questions of 'do you know what I'm thinking now?'.
She wanted to comfort him and he desired to scream at her to do so. He wanted to collapse in her arms and show her his weakness. He wanted the comfort she wanted to offer. He needed it.
"I'm going to help Sango clean," she said quickly.
She straightened and left hurriedly. Leaning against the wall she thought over her feelings.
'I wanted to comfort him because I understand him, but I don't think he'll break open for me just because…"
He stared at the door feeling helpless, and still craving the soft touch of her arms.
Why are you running away?
She slowly walked down the stairs, fully submersed in her thoughts. She needed a higher level of trust from Sesshomaru or a really good plan to leave.
'Haven't I done enough?," she demanded feeling used. 'I let him get away with hurting me and mistreating me! I've given him my trust and understanding…'
She crossed the long hallway towards the kitchen. A smile crept onto her face as she heard the children's giggles outside. The smile, however, quickly gave way to her angry expression from seconds before.
"I understood you when they didn't," she growled, remembering the incident with the stairs. "I embraced you when they cowered in fear. I tried to be your friend and got one sharp kick in the ass!"
She stopped abruptly, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath.
"All of this pent up anger is doing me no good. I've got to let it go and forget about it. The incident with the stairs will not be used in any train of thought anymore. If anybody brings it up it will be ignored."
She sighed and quickly made her way into the kitchen, still slightly ticked about what Sesshomaru was doing. Comforting her so that she would stay with him without a fight. Now there was a laugh!
Cuz I did enough to show you that I
Was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one that was lifting you up
When you thought you life had had enough
And when I get close you turn away
She ignored Sango's questioning look and Miroku shuffled past quickly, taking the behavior as his cue to talk to Sesshomaru. His friend was in his room pacing , stopping here and there to destroy something in frustration. He was getting nowhere and he had feelings for a female! His heart raced everytime he heard footsteps near his room, when he caught her faint auroma, especially when he heard her voice so near that he could've been standing next to her. He tensed when the door opened and light flooded his room. He growled, knowing it wasn't who he wanted it to be. It was Miroku.
'This is nonsense,' he thought angrily, 'I am not a love sick fool!'
He growled when Miroku looked at him boredly. He knew the speech and didn't want to hear it again. Growling, he picked up the chair and threw it across the room. They were his feelings damnit! He wanted control! He needed control!
There's nothing I can do or say
"Alright Sess. What'd you do?"
Sesshomaru glared at the almost bored expression on Miroku's face.
"Hey now," Miroku started nervously, "we're immortal, but it still hurts!"
"I did nothing," he complied.
So now I need you tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
"Right. How are you progressing?"
"It's been a few hours imbecile!"
Miroku nodded and leaned against the wall casually.
"I expected you to be quick. You haven't got much time."
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," he growled.
Miroku chuckled at Sesshomaru's defiant expression.
"She won't be patient and so open to you for much longer. Especially if you go about things the wrong way."
Sesshomaru stopped his pacing and gave Miroku a heated glare.
"I'm not some babbling idiot waiting to profess undying loyalty to some female just to be rejected!"
"For once," Miroku growled, "I wish I could punch some sense into you!"
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, Sesshomaru! Come on now!"
Sesshomaru resumed his pacing. He was getting nowhere. He told himself to let her leave, the radical feelings would follow. Another part, however, held onto her tightly, agressively, selfishly.
"Explain yourself," he demanded.
"We've been with you for years. You've always been the strongest and the leader, our eyes. But," he added seriously, "as soon as you hurt Kagome our trust wavered."
Sesshomaru froze in place, the memory striking a nerve.
"We were afraid. So fucking afraid that all we could do was stare. You'd think that she'd be in shock, broken, deathly frightened, something other than calm and forgiving!"
Miroku anxiously watched Sesshomaru soak in all the information. He himself was bringing all the details into the light for the first time to himself.
"She has been most generous in her forgiveness," he muttered slowly.
"That is true. From the moment you said you were sorry and even before she forgave you."
He shook his head, his long tresses sweeping the back of his knees with the gentle movement. He was too used to being a cold, unfeeling shadow of what he'd been once. He'd never been in love and he didn't think he had the capability of doing so.
"Tell me when you stop being afraid," Miroku said, now at Sesshomaru's side.
He turned and felt something shove him to the floor. He groaned.
"I was wondering when that tail of yours would strike again," Miroku sneered. "Where's it been hiding?"
"Hair."
"Should've known," he growled while lifting himself up, "should've known."
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…::Dream Sequence Start::…
Sesshomaru glanced around and only saw Kagome. They were nowhere in particular, there were no distinguishable figures or colors.
'Stupid dreams,' he cursed.
He walked up to the dream's recreation of Kagome. He had to hand it to his subconcious; the image was perfect. She silently fidgeted with her hands, her eyes downcast.
"Let me go home," she pleaded.
He tensed, his mind already screaming its denial to her request. She turned around and his breath caught in his throat, something he didn't think possible until then. She was badly bruised and whatever she'd been wearing was nothing but shreds.
"Kagome, what-."
"Please," she sobbed.
She fell to her knees before him and sobbed. She was beaten and bloody, begging him to be set free.
"Kagome," he whispered, bending down to lift her up, "are you-? What-?"
"Please?," she whispered against his neck dejectedly.
"No. No, I can't."
He buried his face in her neck and inhaled. Her heavenly scent assaulted his nose and he readily welcomed it, easily forgetting that this was merely a dream. She weakly pushed against his chest.
"My grandfather…"
"No," he protested, holding her close.
A hand grasped his shoulder firmly. He let go of Kagome and looked into Miroku's wise eyes.
"It's only a matter of time before she leaves you."
…::Dream Sequence Ends::…
Sesshomaru opened his eyes and scanned the dark room. The candle had gone out minutes before and the smoke was spreading slowly. Soon it would blend in and become faint. In the meantime he'd ignore it. He looked down at his hands clenched in the damp, black sheets. The unusual scent of his blood tickled his nose. The golden light of the sun creeped in under the door.
'Sunset.'
He slid from the bed to his desk, searching for a light and candle. Light flooded his room, his hands fully healed and the scratches mere memories. His head abruptly snapped to the right, anticipating. The soft knock came a few seconds later as he had known it would.
"Sesshomaru?"
Sango opened the door, peeking in when he didn't answer. His golden eyes glittered with irritation, glinting in the darkness.
"We were wondering if you could help us."
"What is it?"
"Kohaku's had a vision and won't calm down."
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Seconds later Sesshomaru strode into the living room with Sango at his side. Miroku sat on a chair with a frantic expression on his face and his shoulders tense. Souta, Shippou, and Rin circled Kagome with tears in their young eyes.
'They have all grown attached to her as Miroku sais.'
Kohaku was firmly attached to Kagome whom in return was rocking back him back and forth in a soothing motion. Sobs racked the young boy's body as he repeated muffled words against her bossom.
"It's okay. I'm not going anywhere," she assured him.
"What's going on?," Sesshomaru demanded calmly.
Miroku's head whipped abruptly to face him and stood up.
"Kohaku had a vision in which Kagome was hurt during a large storm."
"She wasn't hurt!," screamed the young boy, still not letting go of Kagome. "She was dead!"
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A/N: I thought it would be nice and evil to leave it at that. Mwahahaha. I do not own Inu & Co. and definitely not Beauty and the Beast. I think my beta is a bit ticked at me…