Chapter 1

Mike Chang followed the rest of his Youth Group through the bland halls of the hospital. He looked around, mildly interested, only vaguely paying attention to what the lady leading the tour was saying. This not how he wanted to spend his Wednesday afternoon. Not that he minds helping out sick people in a hospital, or going to his regular Youth Group meetings every other Wednesday. He'd just rather have football practice. Or glee club. Or free time. But being in his church's Youth Group made his parents happy, so he went. Mike stuffed his hands in his pockets and languidly followed the group, listening as the director assigned posts for the duration of their volunteer community service.

"This is our oncology ward. On your right is the room where outpatients receive their chemotherapy. Not everyone in there is getting chemo. Some receive similar treatments for other diseases, but everyone in there is sick and very often desire privacy. Now the children's playroom, up on the left, is where—-"

But Mike was no longer listening. When the nursing director had pointed out the chemotherapy room, he had glanced through the windows and saw something unexpected. Someone unexpected. He left his group and entered the room. Standing just inside the door, he watched, baffled, as Rachel Berry sat in a cushioned chair in one of the cubicles, flipping through a page in her notebook. She looked back into her textbook, then wrote something in her notebook. It wasn't that she was here that shook him. It wasn't that she was doing her homework (he knows she's a good student, so he's aware she always completes her assignments). It's that she was hooked up to some IV bags. In a hospital. In the outpatient chemotherapy room. One of the bags had clear fluid dripping through the tubes down to where the needle was inserted in her arm. Another bag had a dark red liquid. Blood? That didn't make any sense to Mike. None of this made any sense to him.

Gathering himself, he walked straight into Rachel's cubicle and sat in the only other chair. She looked up, startled, then slightly panicked.

"Mike! W-what are you doing here?"

"Volunteering with my Youth Group. I think the bigger question is what are you doing here, Rachel?"

Rachel looked away from him, fiddling with the pencil in her hand. After a minute of silence it became clear she wasn't going to answer him. He decided to try another route.

Quietly, he asked her "How long have you been sick?"

Seeing no point in arguing or denying it, she swallowed hard and answered "Two months."

Mike thought back. Two months. So since school started. She hadn't let on that anything was different. He tried to recall anything, any insignificant detail that could have hinted that the little diva was sick. Nothing. Except. The littlest, tiniest moment about a week ago, when she stumbled during a dance routine in glee and grabbed Puck's arm to steady herself. Puck had grinned at her and teased her about wanting to feel his sexy arms. Rachel had laughed and responded that she was simply moving him over slightly so she had room to spin without hitting him. He didn't think anyone thought anything odd about it. He certainly hadn't at the time. Which brought him to his next question.

"Why haven't you told anyone?" He was genuinely curious and honestly slightly hurt. Glee club was supposed to be a family; there to support each other even when they get on each other's last nerve. To not admit to something this major was almost an insult to their close knit group.

"Right, so I can be laughed at even more? So everyone can insist that I can't handle the routines, or worse, the solos and claim them for themselves instead, leaving me to sway in the background and harmonize?"

Mike shrugged. "As someone often swaying and harmonizing in the background, it's really not so bad."

Rachel glared at him. "Maybe not for you." She snapped.

"Seriously, Rachel, why? We would have supported you. You wouldn't have to do this alone."

"I'm not alone." Came her automatic reply. "My dads are supporting me just fine. Daddy just went to talk to a friend of his on another floor. He'll be back to take me home once my treatment has completed."

She eyed the bags dangling above her as she finishes, seemingly judging how much longer that'll be.

"What is the treatment? What is the illness? What is wrong with telling the club? Does anyone know?" He couldn't seem to hold back the tide of questions. He wasn't getting any real answers and it was starting to frustrate him.

"You're not usually this verbose, Michael. You're borderline monosyllabic on a usual day in glee. Nor are you usually in any way antagonistic. I find this sudden change of personality slightly disorienting."

"And I'm finding your attempts at misdirection frustrating. Can't you just answer my questions? Any of them?"

"I don't see how it's any of your business."

"We're friends! We're in the same glee club!"

"Friends?" Rachel asked dubiously. "I don't recall being invited to any parties. Or lunches. Or mall trips. Or any gathering outside of glee-designated activities."

He knew that was true, though he felt guilty admitting it even in the quiet recess of his mind. Yeah, she could be annoying. Rude, even. Definitely selfish. But she could also be kind and friendly and helpful. Weren't many of his friends annoying, rude, and/or selfish to some extent? Was the extent of Rachel's abrasive-ness so encompassing that it surpassed the possibility of creating a real friendship with her? He didn't think so. He even disagreed with many of the insults he'd heard people fling at the tiny girl. He just never said so before. And maybe that's part of the problem, he realized.

"I'm sorry. I'm not as brave as you. You're willing to stand up and be heard, no matter what other people think. I'm not. I don't go out of my way to insult or hurt people, but I guess I haven't been going out of my way to be supportive either. I haven't been a friend to you. I guess very few people in glee have. But we are in glee together! Weren't you one of the first to talk about how that makes us like a family? We might not always get along, but we have each other's backs."

"Then where has everyone been as I've been getting daily slushy facials? When jocks and Cheerios are shoving me or tripping me in the halls? When people were writing and drawing crude things about me on the bathroom stalls? When people are insulting me? Oh wait, you were all there because it's often the people in glee doing those things!"

"Not me! I've never insulted you or slushied you!"

A nurse came over at that point and checked a monitor near Rachel. Mike hadn't noticed it before. "Rachel, you need to calm down. Lower your heart rate or I'll be forced to ask your friend here to leave."

It was only then that Mike really took in how tired Rachel looked. His stomach clenched. Once Rachel took some deep breaths and the nurse, reassured, wandered off, Mike spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you or get you riled up. Are you okay?"

Rachel opened her eyes and nodded. "I'm fine."

He doubted that but decided not to press it.

"I'm also sorry for not standing up for you. I may not have been the one aiming the drinks or insults, but I didn't stand in the way or help afterwards. I'm sorry. Really."

Rachel sighed and looked away. "I know its not you. You're nice. You and Matt were two of the kindest people to me. If my own boyfriend couldn't be bothered to stand up for me, I can't expect it from anyone else."

The way she said that, so matter-of-fact with just the slightest twinge of hurt, made his gut twist.

"But you should. We should all be standing up for you. You often do for us. Yeah, you sometimes insult us too, but it's usually about our talent and usually its true or just a reaction to your fear of not being in the spotlight. You're not picking on people just to be mean or making stuff up. I promise to do better. To be a better friend to you."

She looked back at him, an odd glint in her eyes. She looked almost hopeful, but also vulnerable. "I suppose we all have some improvements to make. I could be kinder about how I phrase things to try not to hurt peoples feelings. But I can't promise not to react poorly if I lose a solo."

Her candid response made him smile for the first time since entering the room. Seeing him smile made the corners of her own mouth turn up slightly.

"Can you please tell me what's going on now? I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."

"I-"

"Please. If we're going to be friends, real friends, I need to know so I can help you."

"You don't need to— "

"I want to. Truly." He looked at her earnestly, determined to be her friend and to get some answers.

Rachel closed her textbook and put her notebook and pencil on top of it. He could tell she was stalling but he let her. He was pretty sure she was finally going to tell him.

"Okay. Well, — "

"Alright Miss Berry, it looks like you are finished. Let's get you unhooked, shall we?" The nurse was back. Mike held in a frustrated groan. The older woman began unhooking the tubes and pulling out the needle from Rachel's arm. She also checked Rachel's vitals and asked a few seemingly standard questions.

"Nauseous?"

"No."

"Good. Dizzy?"

"Not yet." Rachel answered wryly.

"Understood. Tired?"

Rachel just looked at the nurse, exasperated. It was pretty obvious she was tired. But the nurse tapped her foot and cleared her throat. Rachel rolled her eyes and said "Yes, ma'am, but nothing out of the ordinary."

"Alright then, just hang tight here until your father comes for you."

When she left, Mike looked at Rachel expectantly.

"Aplastic anemia." When he merely frowned in confusion, she continued unprompted. "It's a rare blood disease that causes the body to stop producing enough blood cells."

He opened his mouth to ask if it's serious, but stopped. Moron. Of course it is, or she wouldn't be here. "How bad?" He asks instead.

She gave a half shrug. "Without treatment it's fatal. With treatment, I have a pretty good chance of surviving."

His stomach bottomed out and he momentarily forgot to breathe. Her cool hand on his restarted his breathing. "A pretty good chance…..." he stuttered out quietly.

'It's alright, Mike." Her voice was gentle. "I am bound and determined to get on Broadway. I'm not about to let this stop me."

He had always been able to see her determination and stubbornness in her eyes before. But for the first time, he also saw strength. He swallowed.

"Damn straight."

Her smile brightened his mood.

"All finished, Little Star?" Mike looked up at an older man walking up to them. The man looked surprised to see Mike. "Oh, you have a friend visiting."

Rachel gives a tight lipped smile. "Yes. Michael is in Glee with me."

Her father looks between them awkwardly. "Does this mean you've decided to tell your team?"

"No. Mike was here for his Youth Group and just happened to see me."

Her father looks disappointed. "Oh. Okay." He holds out his hand to Mike. "Hi, I'm Hiram Berry, Rachel's father. Number 1."

His smile is disarming. Mike finds himself grinning while shaking the man's hand. "Mike Chang."

"So, she um…"

"I told him the basics." Rachel informed her father. Mike noted that her voice sounded a little quieter. Her father seemed to notice as well, his face settling into a look of concerned sympathy.

"Side effects starting?"

As she nods, Mike frowns. "Side effects?"

When Rachel doesn't offer an explanation, her father takes it upon himself. "Yes. These treatments have side effects. They're not as bad as the side effects of chemo, but still unpleasant. The treatments can cause headaches, nausea, dizziness, and fatigue."

"Among other things." Rachel mumbles quietly.

Hiram nods. "The side effects vary, so she doesn't always get the same ones after each treatment. Some weeks are worse than others."

"How long do the side effects last?"

"A couple hours. Usually around two."

Mike's eyes take in the pile of books she is packing up. "That's why you try to get your homework done before the treatment ends."

Rachel nods. "I try."

"I'm sorry for interrupting." He feels horrible, imagining her going home feeling sick and still having to do homework. "Can I help you finish it? I can…..I can do it for you, or maybe meet up with you tomorrow morning and help you finish it quick?"

He ignores Hiram's odd smile, focusing instead on Rachel's tired one. "Thanks, but its nearly done. I'll be able to finish it tomorrow morning with no trouble."

"Okay, but….I'll be at school early. In the library. If you want some help, or even just some company, you can join me." Mike says earnestly. He hadn't planned on going in early, but he sure as hell is now.

She smiles at him. A real smile, not a show smile. It makes him angry that anyone could insult her appearance. Nose or otherwise. She's beautiful. "I'll keep it in mind."

Her father grabs her bag for her while she stands. The three walk out together. Mike wonders where his Youth Group is and if he'll get in trouble for wandering off. He doubts it. He also doesn't particularly care. Rachel stops walking and leans to the side. Her father is reaching for her, but Mike is faster. He gets his arm around her waist just before her knees buckle. He was about to pick her up, but she grasps his arms to steady herself. He stands still and just keeps her steady, his heart pounding.

"Rachel?"

"She gets dizzy after treatments." Her father reminds him, placing a hand on her back.

He assumes the dizzy spell has passed when she loosens her grip on his arms and smiles up at him in thanks. He nods jerkily. She starts to pull away, most likely to start walking on her own, but Mike doesn't release her. She frowns up at him but it's her father who speaks.

"Let him, Rachel. It's either him or me and it looks like he's the stronger of the two of us."

She sighs, but nods and lets him keep supporting her as they walk to her father's car. Once she's seated and buckled, he finds he doesn't want to walk away yet. Obviously, he doesn't have a choice.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks.

She nods tiredly. He's not sure if she's feeling more tired now, or if the dizzy spell made it harder for her to hide just how tired she's been. He stands with his hands in his pockets, watching them drive away. He's surprised how much he already misses her presence. As he walks to where his mother is supposed to pick him up, he contemplates his afternoon. Is what he's feeling just because of discovering her illness? Or did he actually enjoy her presence that much? Only time will tell.

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He taps his pencil on his notebook and forces himself to stop glancing at the door. He's been sitting in the library for 20 minutes. School officially starts in 15 minutes. Rachel hasn't shown up yet and he's starting to doubt she will. Mike sighs. He'd been hopeful. He decides to give her ten more minutes. After that, he'll try to find Tina. He didn't tell his girlfriend that he'd be at school early. If Rachel doesn't want to tell them that she's sick, it'd be hard for him to explain why he's suddenly spending more time with her. Unless…an idea tickles his brain and he grins. With five minutes remaining before the school day begins, he packs up his stuff.

His morning goes as it normally does; class, chat with friends, make out with Tina. The only change is that he keeps his eyes open for Rachel when he's in the halls. He spotted her once, but it was fleeting. She was looking over at Finn with a frown. The quarterback was chatting with Quinn, which explains Rachel's unhappiness. Mike always thought Finn was kind of a dick when it came to girls. Quinn, Rachel, Santana and Brittany, Rachel again, then Quinn again, then sort of Rachel, then no one. Plus he rarely stood up for Rachel while they were dating. Finn is currently single, but seeing how much time he's spending with Quinn, he wonders how long that'll last. But the new guy, Sam, is spending a lot of time with Quinn too. And Mike wouldn't care if it weren't for the fact that its making Rachel upset. The tiny diva has enough stress on her plate. She doesn't need a boy toying with her heart strings. He shakes his head and reminds himself that it's none of his business. He needs to focus on being a friend to Rachel and discussing her love life is probably not a good topic to begin with.

Mike has one class with Rachel Berry outside of Glee. AP Sociology. It's an interesting class. And he has it today. She glances at him when she enters the room and returns his smile, but otherwise doesn't engage in conversation with him. His smile dims. Does she not think he was serious about wanting to be her friend? He sits too far away to talk during class, so he'll have to wait until after. When the bell rings, he stalls her.

"Hold up!" He slides in front of her, halting her progress.

She looks at him, startled. "Yes, Mike?"

He gives her a look. "Really, Rachel?" She looks away. "How are you?"

Her gaze snaps back to him, then she quickly looks around them to make sure no one overheard his innocent question. "I'm fine. You don't need to ask that."

"Look, I know we haven't been acting like good friends with you so you may not know this, but friends ask each other that once in a while. It's not an odd question. And I care about you, so I want to know. And since when I last saw you you weren't good, I do actually have to ask."

She sighs. "I'm fine, really." She lowers her voice. "What you saw last night was just side effects from the treatment. They fade after a few hours."

"Okay, good. Just checking. I uh, wanted to ask you something." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. She waits expectantly. "Um…..can you…do you think you could…..help me with….my singing?"

Her eyebrows shoot up. "You want me to give you singing lessons?"

"Well, yeah. I'm a great dancer, but I have a really hard time with singing. On key."

She looks like she's trying not to laugh. After a moment, she is able to respond. "Alright. Want to start this week?"

He smiles brightly at her, relieved his plan worked so easily. "Yeah. Uh….oh, crap. I have football after school today. Can we…maybe do tomorrow?"

She looks at him a tad oddly. "Sure. I'm guessing you mean before school?"

"Why do you assume that's what I meant?"

"Most kids have plans on Friday nights."

Her candid statement makes him squirm. She's right. But the way she said it makes him realize that she doesn't normally have plans on Friday nights. She's not normally invited out with the rest of the club, and she's not currently dating, so he wonders what she does do.

"Yeah, I have a date with Tina." She smiles at him. Not a fake one. She's obviously happy for him. He decides not to ask her how she normally spends her Friday nights. He'll save that question for after they become better friends. They set a time for the next morning, agreeing to meet on the stage. As he heads to his next class, he wonders if he should mention it to Tina.

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"You're doing what tomorrow morning?"

"Meeting Rachel."

"Why?"

Mike gives a frustrated sigh. "I already said why. She's giving me voice lessons."

Tina folds her arms. "Sure. She's just upset she's not dating Finn, so instead she's going to try to steal you from me."

Mike glares at her. "Stop it, Tina. She's not trying to steal me away. No one can steal me away. And for the record, I asked her to give me lessons, not the other way around."

"Whatever. Just be careful around her."

The tall dancer takes a deep breath before responding. Tina notices and watches him warily. "Tina, I need you to really listen to me. I like Rachel. I always have. I was just too much of a coward to speak up against everyone else."

"You like her?"

"Not like that. Not romantically. Just…as a person. As a friend. And while I don't like her romantically or think of her like that at all, she is very pretty. I hate that people keep insulting her appearance when it's obvious she's beautiful. It makes no sense and just makes those insulting her seem insecure and catty."

Tina tilts her head, frowning. "Okay, yeah, she's pretty. But she's mean and selfish and annoying."

Mike sighs. He'll finish this argument another day. Clearly, she's not ready.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She's late coming to their first lesson. He stops tapping his foot when she hurries into the room looking a little frazzled.

"Sorry. Ready to start?"

He frowns, watching her. "Are you okay? You're not normally late for anything and you look a little pale."

She sighs and sits on the piano bench. "I've been having a hard time waking up in the morning lately. It's…..an expected symptom. But one I absolutely hate."

Thinking about how much energy she used to have first thing in the morning, he cringes. Suddenly losing that energy and struggling to wake up must be hard for her, both physically and emotionally.

"I'm sorry. If I'd known, I wouldn't have asked for morning lessons."

"It's fine, Mike."

He shakes his head. "Nah, we'll schedule our next lesson for later in the day."

She raises an eyebrow. "Next lesson?"

Mike raises his hands hopelessly. "As good a dancer I am, I am an equally bad singer. One lesson is not going to be enough."

Rachel grins at him. "It might take more than one lesson, but lets do the first lesson before deciding."

She starts by having him go through scales. She guides and explains, demonstrating it for him when necessary. She helps him hear the key changes and different notes and figure out how to match them. He grins. She's actually a good teacher. Like her mother, apparently. That thought wipes his smile away.

"Mike? You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry."

"If you want to stop—"

"No! I asked for these lessons because I want to get better. I'm not going to give up after one lesson. No matter how hopeless I am."

"You're not hopeless, Michael. You're not as bad as you think you are. You just need practice." The bell rings. "But, I think that's all for today."

"Um…" He wonders if he could ask her to meet up over the weekend. He decides not yet. Too soon. "So…..next week?"

She nods, giving him a smile.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He does what he can to spend more time with her in little ways. On Monday, they had another lesson. On Tuesday, he walked with her to class and kept up a lighthearted conversation, making her smile. On Wednesday, he went with her to her treatment. He hadn't realized that she's there for 2-4 hours each time. That sucks. He felt queasy watching them insert the needle for her IV. They did homework. Mike helped her get as much done as possible. As the treatment came to an end, she was throwing up. She'd tied her hair back as soon as she first started feeling nauseous and warned him that if he's grossed out, now would be a good time to leave. He'd responded by picking up the container specifically for patients to vomit into. He lets her hold the container as she vomits and she lets him him hold her. He keeps his arms around her, trying not to put pressure on her stomach. Her father returns and takes over holding the vomit receptacle. Rachel's hands are then free to grasp Mike's arms. When it ends, she slumps back against him. Mr. Berry leaves to get rid of the vomit receptacle and get a wheelchair.

"I hate wheelchairs." Rachel mumbles.

Mike looks down at her. Her eyes are closed and she stays leaning against him. He's relieved that she's letting him support her.

"Don't let Artie hear you say that." He teases. He's rewarded with a small grin.

Rachel convinces the nurse, and her father, that she doesn't need a wheelchair to leave. Instead, she leans on Mike who is happy to help out. She's less happy when he sweeps her into his arms as soon as they are out the doors. Mr. Berry chuckles. When Rachel mumbles into his shoulder, threatening to vomit on him, Mr. Berry and Mike laugh.

He frowns on Thursday when she's still pale. She smiles reassuringly at him and whispers that she's okay. They have their third voice lesson on Friday. Tina isn't thrilled about how much time he's spending with Rachel, but she hasn't argued.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

His gym locker is slammed shut. Turning, Mike finds Finn standing before him in the locker room. The quarterback looks like he's unsure if he should be angry or not. He settles for looking confused.

"What's going on with you and Rachel?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. You've been spending a lot of time with her."

Mike shakes his head. "In the past week, she has given me three voice lessons and we've walked to class twice. How is that spending a lot of time with her?"

Finn looks irritated. "You're spending more time with her than anyone else is."

"And isn't that just sad? Is anyone else being a friend to her? I realized that she's not as bad as people keep saying she is. She's actually fun to be around."

"Yeah, she is." Finn says softly.

"But most people don't give her the time of day. I decided to."

Finn looks him in the eye. "Do you have feelings for her?"

Mike grins and shakes his head. "Look man, she's pretty. Really pretty. Hot, even." Finn glowers. "But no. I don't have any romantic feelings for her. I'm in love with Tina." The other boy relaxes, his expression easing. "I do care about Rachel, though. As a friend."

Finn nods slowly. "Okay."

"What's it to you? You're not dating her."

Finn looks down and shifts his feet. "I'm her friend."

"Are you? Dude, friends spend time together. They talk, hang out, have fun, and help each other. What have you done with her lately?"

"I…I'm giving her space. I know I hurt her when I broke up with her."

"Are you giving her space so she can get over you? Or so you can pursue Quinn?"

The other boy doesn't answer.

"Finn, have you questioned Sam about his feelings for Quinn?"

"No, why?"

"But you questioned my feelings for Rachel. Despite the fact that Quinn and Sam have been spending a lot of time together. In and out of school. And obviously flirting."

"What about it?"

"Which upsets you more? Rachel possibly dating someone else? Or Quinn?"

Finn stares at him hard, then turns and walks away. Mike shakes his head. He hopes his friend realizes his feelings for Rachel and learns to be a better boyfriend. Rachel deserves better.