Title: Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows
Author: Kimberly21570
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia and Natalia
Disclaimers and Other Assorted Ramblings: The characters of Olivia and Emma Spencer, and Natalia and Rafe Rivera are owned by Guiding Light, CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble. The characters of Lena Kundera and Bianca Montgomery are owned by All My Children, ABC/Disney.
Rights to the songs Fallin' for You by Colbie Callait, and Kiss a Girl by Keith Urban are owned by their respective writers, artists, production companies, and distributors. Cookie Monster is a property of Sesame Street / Sesame Workshop, formerly known as the Children's Television Workshop.
Chapter 7 is a chronology of Olivia and Natalia's first official date, as well as the events and conversations leading up to it. Some of these events and conversations are told via flashback. I have endeavored to make it clear when the story is shifting from present to past and back again, so I hope that aspect is easy to follow. I have taken creative license, especially with regard to Olivia, in order to create a touch of humor, as well as to add an element of surprise, not only for Natalia, but for the readers, as well. The chapter will be presented in four individual updates over the course of several weeks, which will allow me to provide you all with regular updates throughout the course of my semester. The dialogue and scenes in this chapter are original. However, there is a reference to the "toothpaste" scene that aired on 1.13.2009, and one small portion of the update bears a resemblance to a scene from the television show Bones, which is the property of the FOX Broadcasting Company. Those of you who are fans of the show will likely recognize it. No copyright infringement intended with regard to GL, CBS/TeleNext, Proctor & Gamble, AMC, GH, ABC/Disney, Sesame Workshop, FOX, or any other entity. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply.
Finally, a special thanks again to my fan fiction friend Double O Guest (guestOO) for the opening quote for this chapter. I love it, my friend. Thank you for sharing it with me! And, as always, thank you all for reading. I hope you continue to enjoy…
Rating: Chapter 7.4 is rated PG, but subsequent chapters will include NC-17 material.
Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows
Copyright May, 2009
"Need-love cries to God from our poverty; Gift-love longs to serve, or even to suffer for, God; Appreciative love says: "We give thanks to Thee for Thy great glory." Need-love says of a woman "I cannot live without her"; Gift-love longs to give her happiness, comfort, protection—if possible, wealth; Appreciative love gazes and holds its breath and is silent, rejoices that such a wonder should exist even if not for him, will not be wholly dejected by losing her, would rather have it so than never to have seen her at all."
C. S. Lewis; from The Four Loves
Chapter 7.4 – The Outing | A Little Magic in the Moonlight:
Pulling out of Farley's parking lot, Olivia announced that they had one more place to go. "This is where you'll need the warm coat," she informed. She gave away nothing more than that, as they made the quick jaunt down North Rutledge to West Jefferson, where they headed back toward Fifth Street.
"Hmm… sounds intriguing," Natalia said, her voice taking on a mysterious edge.
"No—just cold," Olivia said, noncommittally.
Natalia rolled her eyes. "You're no fun," she pouted. She took Olivia's hand, linking their fingers. "But I'll still keep you warm."
"Like you did just a few minutes ago?" Olivia said in a hopeful voice.
"Exactly like that," Natalia grinned.
Pleased with Natalia's response, Olivia squeezed the hand that held her own; sending a tacit sign of her inner sense of contentment. Life was simply… perfect.
They rode in companionable silence for a bit; then Natalia said, "Tracy came to see me today…"
The tone of voice told Olivia the visit was unexpected. "Oh, yeah? About what?" She was rather curious, as she had received a similarly unexpected visit from Jennifer before her meeting with the finance committee.
"Seems you were right—there was a frenzy of texts about us last night," Natalia reported. "She said she and Jen both had at least a dozen messages when they turned their phones on this morning."
"Hmm…" Olivia's response was noncommittal.
"What does 'Hmm…' mean?" Natalia laughed.
"What else did she say?" Olivia skirted the question.
"She said that she told Greg he was a disrespectful ass," she informed, "and that she ignored the rest of the messages. There were several really nasty ones from Diane."
"Ahh…"
Natalia arched an eyebrow, as she stared at Olivia curiously. "Have you lost the ability to articulate beyond monosyllabic mumbles?"
"No—," Olivia chuckled. "I'm just processing the information in light of the conversation I had with Jennifer this morning."
"Oh."
"Now who's being monosyllabic?" Olivia grinned.
"Very funny," Natalia said wryly. "So I take it Jen came to you with similar concerns."
"Yeah," Olivia confirmed. "She didn't ask whether any of it was true or not, she just wanted to make sure we were aware of what was being said. She let me read the messages."
"Tracy did the same," Natalia reported. "I told her it's true that we're together, but that everything else in those texts was purely conjecture."
"I basically told Jennifer the same thing," Olivia shared. "Seems the two of them really have our backs." She felt a sense of calm in that.
"I got the same impression," Natalia noted. She was quiet for a moment; then waged, "I think they're a couple."
Olivia smiled. "I'm quite certain they are, Sweetheart."
In truth, she had suspected their romantic connection quite some time, but confirmation had come that morning, when Jen told her about far more than just the texts. Among other things, she had shared how, despite the fact that she and Tracy hadn't officially gotten together until three years after they met, they been subjected to similar speculative gossip from nearly the moment Tracy had taken the job at the Beacon. Olivia hadn't asked any direct questions, of course—that would've been unprofessional; but Jen had shared enough about the pace of her early relationship with Tracy and her struggles over coming to terms with her burgeoning feelings for a woman, to leave Olivia with a sense that Jen understood far more than she realized about the course of Olivia and Natalia's relationship, and that everything would work out as it should in her relationship with Natalia. She was profoundly thankful for that.
She thought about the conversation that had transpired between them, remembering how Jennifer had reacted when Olivia bluntly let her know that she had suspected their entanglement for quite some time.
"You knew?" Jen had said, truly surprised. "And yet… you promoted me to a position as her supervisor anyway?" She was baffled, given the Beacon's policy against romantic involvement between supervisors and their subordinates.
Olivia leaned back in her chair, eyeing her carefully over steepled fingers, causing Jen's pulse to race anxiously. "You weren't her supervisor when the relationship started, so technically, I suppose, you weren't breaking the rules," she said, giving nothing away with her tone. "But you should've told me when I promoted you," she pointed out.
Jen bit her bottom lip. "I know…" she said, sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Ms. Spencer. I wanted to tell you. I did. But Tracy was worried about my career, and well, have you ever argued with her?" She laughed nervously, "I—"
"Why are you telling me now?" Olivia interrupted the unnecessary explanation, with her signature no-nonsense tone.
Taken aback by the bluntness of Olivia's question, Jen scrambled for words. "Well, I—I guess because it's the right thing to do. I just… I want you to know you're not alone," she finally managed, before going on to explain that their own experiences were the reason they felt such protectiveness for their bosses, and had defended them on numerous occasions, beginning even before Olivia's transplant. Apparently the rumors and innuendo had taken a particularly salacious turn, causing Jen and Tracy to reevaluate their previous silence on the matter.
Olivia hadn't shown the least bit surprised that rumors had been circulating about her and Natalia for such an extended period of time; and she instinctively felt that Jen had not shared this information as a way of bragging or scoring points with the boss, but rather to let her know someone understood.
As Jennifer's explanation drew to a close, Olivia fixed the woman with her infamous probing gaze. "So… I take it you're no longer concerned about your career," she said, once again giving nothing away with her tone.
Jen swallowed. Hard. "Should I be?" she asked nervously.
"Relax, okay?" Olivia chucked lightly, as she leaned forward in her chair, resting her arms on her desk.
An audible sigh of relief rumbled from Jen's chest.
"I've seen nothing in your performance to indicate that your choice of domestic partners has any bearing on your ability to do your job," Olivia said candidly. "Just see that it stays that way, and there won't be a problem."
A thankful smile spread across Jen's lips. "I appreciate that, Ms. Spencer."
"Don't mention it," Olivia replied evenly, fixing Jen with another of her infamous poker-faced gazes. "And I mean seriously—don't mention it."
The hotelier's tacit message was received, loud and clear. "Gotcha, Boss," Jen smiled. She regarded the hotelier for a moment. "I'll bet you're all Aces at poker." Her tone held the slightest hint of teasing, and Olivia grinned in response.
"Oh, I've knocked a few opponents out on Fifth Street with Alabama Night Riders," Olivia said casually.
"I've no doubt of that, Ms. Spencer." The statement was seasoned with admiration. "I'll remember never to hammer against you without at least three bullets or a set of quads."
"Royal Flush would be your only hope, 'cause even when I'm betting with a piece of cheese, my snow jobs earn me the scoop every time," Olivia volleyed, putting her best poker-speak forward.
"Ah… a woman who's serious about her poker," Jen remarked. "I like that."
Olivia laughed lightheartedly. "I haven't played in years, but I had to be on my A-game to buy-in at the Lewis table," she said. "My ex-husband and his family are notorious for their poker rivalries."
Jen nodded knowingly. "I know what you mean. Tracy's family gets crazy on poker night. They're unbelievably competitive—like a family possessed," she laughed.
"Yeah, that sounds about right," Olivia agreed, taking a sip of her coffee.
And then their repartee gave way to seriousness again, and Olivia regarded Jen with measured interest. "I'm curious," she said, her mind working overtime as she settled back into her seat again, "would you have said anything to me about your relationship with Tracy, if not for the scene that transpired here last night?"
"Honestly?" Jen said, relaxing fully in the hotelier's presence.
"I would hope that you'll be honest with me," Olivia said evenly.
"I fully intended to come to you this morning to divulge my relationship with her," Jen said frankly. "The flurry of texts about you and Ms. Rivera only bolstered my decision."
Olivia offered her a curious expression. "Why now?"
Jen smiled at the hotelier. "I finally convinced Tracy last night, that we should be more open about our relationship," she answered candidly. "I just simply don't want to hide anymore."
A knowing smile tiptoed across Olivia's lips. "I guess last night was the night for such decisions."
"So it would seem," Jen laughed softly. "Any regrets?" She knew it was a particularly personal question—one that crossed professional boundaries, but something in their interaction told her it would be acceptable to ask.
"Not one," Olivia openly declared. "You?"
"None," Jen answered straightforwardly. "It feels good to come clean with you, Ms. Spencer. I never wanted to hide it in the first place."
"I sensed that about you," Olivia said warmly.
That moment between them had confirmed Olivia's wisdom in her decision to promote this woman into management at the Beacon, because the type of integrity and loyalty Jen exhibited could never be bought or instilled—it was inherent within the person.
"How can you be so sure?" Natalia was saying; the sound of her voice pulling Olivia back to the present. "I mean, I've thought they were together for a while, actually, but they're really guarded about their personal lives, so how can you—"
"I told you, nothing goes on in my hotel that I don't know about." Olivia's tone was smug, but jokingly so. She felt comfortable in saying what she had about being quite certain Jennifer and Tracy were together, because she would have said so regardless of Jen's divulgence that morning. But Olivia wasn't one of those salacious gossips like so many in this backstabbing town, and the remainder of what was shared would remain between the two of them unless the other woman brought it up herself.
"Ahh, yes… the omniscient hotelier," Natalia teased.
"Hey, now!" Olivia shrieked in feigned protest, causing Natalia to laugh. She smiled, enjoying that laughter.
"I think we should invite them to dinner," Natalia declared; their conversation shifting gears just slightly.
"Who?" Olivia asked, confused.
"Jen and Tracy," Natalia chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. Sometimes Olivia just needed to get with the program! "Emma loves playing with Jen's boys, and it might be good for us to make friends with other…" Her face developed an expression of consternation. With no real proof about the nature of their relationship, she didn't know how to finish that statement.
"Other what?" Olivia grinned.
"Parents?" Natalia tentatively suggested. At least she had some knowledge of their shared parenting duties—the way she and Olivia had shared responsibility for Emma. But even Natalia had to admit it was a futile comparison, given that she and Olivia had both recently acknowledged the existence of a stronger connection from the very start.
"Lesbians?" Olivia offered in response. She arched an eyebrow, as she glanced at Natalia.
That word caught Natalia off-guard. "Is that what we are, Olivia?" she asked, feeling both confused and curious. She bit her bottom lip, subconsciously. "I mean, I don't suddenly find men less attractive," she admitted. "Is it okay to say that?" she asked, sheepishly.
Olivia squeezed the hand that still held her own. "Of course it's okay to say that," she reassured. "I want us to always be honest with one another." She thought for a moment; then, in keeping with her desire for honesty, she added, "I don't find men any less attractive either, Natalia, but I know you're the only one I want, and that will never change."
Natalia's heart swelled and she breathed a sigh of relief. Olivia's behavior during their date—the fact that she had been blatantly ogled by nearly every man, and even some of the women they had encountered, and she had paid no attention to any of them because she was solely focused on Natalia—reinforced Natalia's faith in Olivia's commitment to her, leaving her with a deeper sense of security. "So are we, y'know, lesbians?" The word felt strange on her tongue—she didn't know what to make of it.
"I don't really know what to call us," Olivia answered forthrightly. "All I know is that I love you, and I wanna spend my life with you." She shrugged. "If that makes us lesbians, then so be it, I guess."
"So be it," Natalia repeated. Her tone was indistinct.
Olivia glanced at her, attempting to gauge her reaction. "Does it make you uncomfortable, y'know, to think of us as lesbians?"
Natalia's response was tempered with serious contemplation. "It did," she said cautiously; "When you kissed me after Emma's presentation, it made me really uncomfortable to think that other people viewed us that way. And I couldn't deal with the idea of us being that way at all. That's why I ran away…"
"And now?" Olivia gently pressed.
"Y'know, I realized after you confronted those women at Towers that I was scared because my feelings for you were so real," Natalia confessed. "You were right that day to challenge me, Olivia. You asked questions that forced me to think, whether I wanted to or not. And when I left after our argument, going to see Frank was just an excuse, because I didn't know how to answer you. But being with him that day only made me contemplate the questions more, because the whole time I was with him, all I could think about was how much I wanted to be at home—with you. And I wasn't ready to deal with what that meant," she shared.
"You weren't alone in those thoughts and feelings, Natalia," Olivia admitted. "I knew what it all meant, but I wasn't ready to deal with it either. And consequently, I spent a lot of time bending Doris's ear, trying to rationalize my avoidance of those feelings."
"How'd that work out for ya?" Natalia teased.
"Obviously, not very well," Olivia laughed. "She was surprisingly empathetic at times. But mostly she just told me what an idiot I was. And I heard that again tonight," she said, wryly.
Natalia laughed heartily. "I think I'm starting to appreciate Doris a little."
"You should," Olivia declared. "She's been in your corner all along."
"I'll keep that in mind," Natalia said, a smile toying with her lips. And then her thoughts turned back to their original discussion. "You know I don't have any reservations about being with you now; but honestly, I don't really know how I feel about labels. I don't have any frame-of-reference for what it means to be a lesbian, but I don't really think I feel like one. I don't know." She sounded confused, and Olivia could certainly relate. "I just… I feel like a woman who loves you. That's all I really know."
Contemplating Natalia's response, Olivia said, "That's kinda how I feel too." She sighed. "Maybe we should try to ignore the labels that others will place on us, and just focus on the life we're building together."
Natalia nodded her agreement. "I think that's a great plan." It was better than nothing, she reasoned.
Olivia made noises of agreement. "Maybe in time, we'll have more clarity…" She sounded hopeful.
"So… what about asking Jen and Tracy over for dinner?" Natalia broached again.
"Yeah, I don't know, Natalia," Olivia said, skepticism in her tone. "I don't really know how I feel about socializing with my employees."
Natalia shot her an expression that literally screamed: Umm… Seriously? Look at the two of us…
Olivia laughed heartily at the silent message. "Okay, point taken."
"Unless you're concerned you might find yourself attracted to one of them," Natalia teased.
"You heard what I said to Reva tonight," Olivia gently reminded. "You're the only woman who's ever turned my head. And I told Doris the same thing, yesterday," she added proudly.
"Ooh, was our good Mayor hitting on you, Ms. Spencer?" Natalia teased.
"She tried her best," Olivia laughed, "but I let her know she was delusional, if she thought she could get anywhere with me."
"Good answer," Natalia grinned. "Now, dinner with Jen and Tracy," she pressed.
Olivia laughed. "You're not gonna let this go, are ya?"
"Nope."
Unable to deny Natalia anything, Olivia reluctantly agreed to her suggestion; earning a kiss on the cheek as her reward. "By the way, Tracy said Dylan wanted to have Emma over to play this weekend," she reported. "I told her I would check with you, and let her know."
"That sounds fine," Olivia said casually, as she made the turn from Fifth Street onto East Jefferson, heading toward East Clear Lake Avenue. "I can drop her off Saturday morning, and we can pick her up on our way to the bowling alley, if that works for them."
"Or… maybe they could join us for bowling?" Natalia suggested, her voice sounding tentative, yet hopeful.
Olivia smiled and shook her head. The woman was impossible—in the best possible way. "That would work too."
Natalia grinned triumphantly, and reached over, turning the radio up just a notch—she liked the song that was playing. She listened intently then, as Olivia sang along with Colbie Callait about that exciting, yet nauseating state of flux that accompanies falling in love. The song was playful and fun, and they laughed together at how familiar those feelings were to them.
By the time they arrived at their destination, the topic had turned to musical preferences. It didn't even register with Natalia where they had stopped, so engrossed was she in the conversation. "What's your favorite kind of music?" she asked, as Olivia helped her out of the car.
As she feigned formulation of an answer, Olivia stole a moment to glance around, finding things in place, just as she had requested. "Y'know, I listened to 80's Pop/Rock growing up, and I really enjoy Classical, but I'm… Well, I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but… I'm kinda partial to Country these days, in case you haven't noticed," she confessed; the shadow of a blush creeping across her cheeks.
Natalia smiled at her. "Sometimes you really surprise me," she declared. "I never would've guessed you for a Country music fan."
"I hope it's a good kind of surprise," Olivia said sheepishly. The fresh rock salt crackled under their boots as they walked.
"Very good," Natalia affirmed.
Olivia released a feigned sigh of relief. "Thank God!" she grinned; earning a roll of the eyes from Natalia for her theatrics.
She chuckled at Natalia's animation, and tossed the question back at her, "You?"
"Well, with three generations, including six kids of varying ages in the house, we listened to a lot of different stuff. Latin Pop mixes mostly, and some Contemporary Christian radio that Mama liked. And my Abuela loved to play flamenco when she worked in her kitchen. I can still see her dancing around," Natalia shared, her voice sounding wistful.
Olivia smiled as they walked, realizing that was where Natalia got her love of dancing in the kitchen while she worked. Watching her glide around her kitchen truly enchanted the hotelier. She looked forward to those moments.
"But lately, I've really been enjoying your Country music," Natalia was saying.
"So… I'm not driving you crazy with all those songs about whiskey drinkin', rabble-rousin', and heartbreak?" Olivia asked, in her best southern drawl.
"Don't forget the dying dogs and broken-down pickup trucks," Natalia reminded facetiously.
Olivia laughed heartily. "I am so gonna buy you pair of cowboy boots and a Stetson," she teased.
"You gonna buy me a pick-up truck, too?" Natalia grinned.
"Yup… an old, beat up, red one," Olivia declared.
"Just plain 'ole red, not crimson?" Natalia teased; drawing a laugh from Olivia.
Olivia smiled and nodded her head. "Just plain 'ole red," she confirmed.
Tugging on Olivia's hand, Natalia drew them to a halt in the center of the path; receiving a curiously confused expression from her. She draped her arms around Olivia's neck, as she leaned in, nuzzling against her ear. "Are we gonna make love in the back of that old red pick-up?" she asked; her voice low and more seductive than she ever imagined it could be.
Olivia's belly flip-flopped, and a soft groan slipped from her lips, as her heart began to flutter in her chest. "Uh-huh," she murmured into Natalia's neck. "Down by the pond, by the light of the moon, under a blanket of stars…"
"Sounds romantic," Natalia whispered, brushing her lips against Olivia's neck, sending a delightful shiver down her spine.
"Oh, it'll be incredibly romantic," Olivia quietly assured.
Natalia sought Olivia's eyes, searching soft jade. "Are you being serious about all this?"
"Absolutely." Olivia's Cheshire grin left Natalia to wonder just exactly what it was the hotelier had intended.
"Are we gonna get drunk on whiskey first, and go skinny-dipping in the pond?" Natalia posed.
"You betcha," Olivia smirked.
"You're really going with this whole 'Redneck Girl' theme, aren't ya?" Natalia teased.
"Yup…"
Natalia's head fell back, long, raven locks cascading down, as she laughed heartily; and Olivia was captivated by the sheer beauty of the woman in her arms.
When she finally stopped laughing, Natalia tilted her head in that adorable way she always did. She didn't say a word. She just gazed at Olivia adoringly.
Olivia couldn't resist the sparkle in those gorgeous brown eyes, as they stood there, moonlight cascading through the towering oaks that served as a canopy above their heads. "What?" she murmured; self-consciously biting her bottom lip. But even that didn't suppress the bashful smile that teased at the corners of her mouth, as Natalia pulled her impossibly closer.
"I like this," Natalia said, simply.
"Like what?" Olivia feigned innocence.
"Silly, sweet conversations with you." Natalia's voice was soft, as her lips brushed across Olivia's. The kiss was evanescent; the sentiment, everlasting.
"You think this conversation is silly?" Olivia's playful tone matched the grin on her lips.
"I think you surprise me in a hundred different ways, every single day," Natalia whispered, brushing her nose against Olivia's. She received a smile in response. "And… I think you make it really easy to just be with you, and to love you. I'm glad you let me in, Olivia."
"I'm glad I did, too," Olivia said, softly. "I hope I'm always able to surprise you." She sniffed, and offered Natalia a wobbly, teary-eyed smile. "In good ways, I mean."
Their mutual smiles told the story of days gone by—days when Olivia's surprises held negative connotations, rather than positive ones. But those days were gone; never to return. Natalia reached up, tenderly wiping the tears away with her gloved thumb. "You will," she said with quiet conviction.
Pulling her ever closer, Olivia whispered to her, telling her how breathtaking she was, and how much she loved and needed her. And then she kissed her thoroughly; leaving her flushed and breathless.
And when they were finally able to part, Natalia nuzzled against Olivia's ear. "Know what I like best about your country music?" she whispered; segueing back to their earlier conversation.
"What's that?" Olivia asked, amused.
"The love songs…" Natalia quietly confessed.
Olivia nuzzled Natalia's cheek. "We can play some of those love songs while we're making love down by the pond," she murmured softly. "I'll get us some cassette tapes for that old red pick-up," she drawled.
Natalia arched an eyebrow. "Not eight-tracks?" she facetiously queried. "Wow, you really know how to seduce a girl."
Olivia laughed heartily. "Yeah, well, y'know… confining my arsenal of electronics to decades in which my girlfriends have actually lived, is part of my whole… seduction M.O.," she teased. "And so is this…" she added, sweeping her hand out, indicating the metal contraption in front of them, bathed in a sea of candlelight that flickered from near their car all the way to the lake.
"A swing set?" Natalia said; confusion in her tone. She glanced at her surroundings, finally registering where they were. "What are we doing on the Beacon playground?"
But before Olivia could answer, Natalia realized exactly what they were doing there. She smiled at the memory of their conversation on the front porch one evening, after Olivia mentioned the possibility of putting a swing set in the back yard for Emma…
"There were swings at the beach on San Cristobel. I used to love playing on them as a kid," Olivia had said, wistfulness in her tone.
"I only played on a swing set once when I was little," Natalia had shared. "But I remember wondering, 'How high can I go? Can my feet touch the clouds?'"
Olivia nodded her head. "If I twist the chains, how fast will I spin?" Her voice was filled with excitement.
"What if I jump off before the swing stops?"
"Will it feel like flying?" Olivia had interjected, finishing Natalia's thought. She sounded like a little girl—full of wonder and awe.
"Exactly…"
"I miss that feeling," Olivia sighed longingly.
"Yeah, me too…" Natalia's tone had been soft and reflective, as she settled into the welcome warmth of their unexpectedly symbiotic existence. Never in a million years would she have believed the two of them would find themselves so happily, and comfortably, enmeshed; but she wouldn't have traded it for the world.
Returning her thoughts to the present, Natalia glanced up, meeting Olivia's eyes. She could tell that Olivia had been reliving their conversation along with her. "That's why you brought me here," she said softly.
The corners of Olivia's mouth switched into that barely-there smile, and she nodded. "I know it's kinda cold out here, but… I just wanted to give you that feeling back again, so—"
Olivia didn't get to finish her explanation, because Natalia shut her up with a kiss.
And when she finally released her, she grabbed Olivia's face in her gloved hands. "God, you make me happy," she said fiercely.
The intensity in Natalia's voice made Olivia's heart skip a beat; and when Natalia kissed her again, briefly, but with undeniable passion, her heart nearly stopped. Never in her life had she been this happy; this completely fulfilled. She smiled and took Natalia's hand then, running toward the swing set. And they laughed together like children, as Olivia played with her; twisting the chain round and round, then letting it go—allowing Natalia to spin in quick circles as the chain unwound itself. Then Olivia pushed her in the swing for a few moments, before hopping a ride on the seat next to her.
Natalia laughed. "I never thought I'd be doing this again."
"Really?" Olivia smiled; grabbing the closest chain on Natalia's seat.
"Really," Natalia giggled; reaching for the matching chain on Olivia's seat.
The swung together in tandem, time standing still as they laughed and talked about everything and nothing; neither of them noticing the cold night air, or the ever-increasing lateness of the hour. And finally, Olivia stood up in the seat, coaxing the swing to go higher.
"Get down from there!" Natalia gently chastised. "You're gonna break your neck!"
Olivia laughed heartily; jumping from the moving swing, landing squarely on her feet in the snow, much like a lithe cat. She was so happy it made her feel invincible. "I wouldn't do that," she quietly assured; sauntering toward Natalia, the snow crackling under her boots. She stopped Natalia's swing; firmly grasping the chains just above Natalia's hands, and the expression in those smoldering jade eyes caused Natalia's body to pulse. Walking her backward, until they were standing face to face, leaving Natalia's body flush against her own, Olivia gently pressed her against the seat.
"You wouldn't?" Natalia questioned; eyes locked on Olivia's. Breath catching in her chest at the nearness of the woman she loved, those familiar butterflies fluttered about in her belly, teasing southward. It simply amazed her how easily Olivia made those fluttery wings show their presence.
Olivia tossed her gloves on the ground, and cupped Natalia's face, gently caressing her cheek with warm fingertips. God, her skin felt like heaven. "No, I wouldn't…" she breathed; her lips a mere hairsbreadth away from Natalia's. The air hung thick between them, as they gazed into one another's eyes. "I have far too much to live for…" she whispered; closing the sparse distance between their lips as if that ever-present centripetal force were drawing her home once again.
Slowly, she kissed her, imparting the depth of her love, as her fingers tangled in raven tresses, and Natalia's arms instinctively found their way around Olivia's body. As their kiss continued, long and slow, Olivia wondered whether beneath the underlying complications, if life could really be this simple—to love this woman, and be loved by her, with no expectations other than that it would always be this way.
It was nearly four in the morning when they finally pulled into their driveway; but neither of them was even remotely tired. Clutching the single yellow rose in her hand, Natalia slowly drew in its fragrance. She couldn't stop smiling, as she remembered how romantic Olivia had been throughout the evening, and how playful she had been on the playground; so filled with wide-eyed wonder. They had thrown snowballs, and played on the slide, and Olivia had spun her on the merry-go-round—both of them laughing the entire time. At one point, they had fallen into the snow—and Olivia kissed her so tenderly, Natalia thought she might actually cry. And then Olivia had chased her endlessly around the playground, up and down the ramps, through the tunnels, under the tall slide and around the monkey bars, finally catching her around the waist from behind.
Natalia laughed and squealed, delighting in Olivia's playfulness. No one had ever been so lighthearted, so carefree, with her.
Turning Natalia in her arms, Olivia pressed her against the climbing wall, and smiled, as breathlessly, she crooned the chorus of Keith Urban's newest single, "I wanna kiss a girl. I wanna hold her tight." Her eyebrow arched suggestively as she smiled that seductive smile, "And maybe make a little magic in the moonlight…" Her tone was so mischievous, and it made Natalia laugh. Olivia smiled, and continued softly, "Don't wanna go too far, I wanna take it slow…" With that, she abandoned the lyrics, as their eyes locked, and she brushed raven tresses from Natalia's sweet face. "I wanna take it slow, so we get it right," she whispered, caressing Natalia's cheek.
Her conversation with Jen that morning had left her with a peace about taking things slowly. "I want forever with you, Natalia," she whispered. "I want that more than anything. And…" She bit her bottom lip, hesitatingly. "I—I know it probably sounds really contradictory to say I wanna go slow, when I'm already telling you I want forever. But… truth is, I barely remember a time when I didn't love you, Natalia, and… I knew I wanted forever, long before I ever told you I was in love with you. I love you so much that I would've been content just being with you, living together as friends, for as long as you'd allow me to stay. I would've accepted any conditions, given anything, just to know I'd never lose you. Natalia, I—"
"Olivia, stop," Natalia said softly. She pressed her fingertips against Olivia's lips. "I want forever, too," she quietly confessed, even as she reveled in the feeling of Olivia's heart pounding against her own. "And I don't care how long it takes us to get there, as long as it ends with you and me."
"It will," Olivia whispered against Natalia's lips. "I promise." And then Olivia's mouth found hers again, sealing that promise with a breath-stealing kiss.
When they were finally able to part, Natalia gazed into eyes that flickered in the candlelight. "Olivia?" she said softly.
"Yeah?"
"Why are there like, a gazillion candles out here?"
"Because candles are romantic." The jade of Olivia's eyes sparkled in the soft light.
"It's a total fire hazard."
"Seriously?" Olivia chuckled.
"Yes, seriously." Natalia's tone reflected the sentiment. "I really don't think insurance policies cover—"
Olivia shut her up with a kiss. "How am I supposed to be romantic, when you're rambling on about insurance policies and fire hazards?"
"I just think you should be sensible, and—"
"Do I need to kiss you again?" Olivia threatened. It sounded more like an invitation.
Natalia grinned. "Yes, please."
So Olivia did. And then they walked, hand-in-hand, the moonlit, candle-bathed path along the lake that wended down toward the gazebo, where they sat together, sharing more light kisses and talking quietly as they often did on their front porch.
"Wanna hear a secret?" Olivia offered clandestinely, as Natalia nipped at her bottom lip, mid-kiss. She loved it when Natalia did that.
Distracted by the low timbre of Olivia's voice, Natalia grinned, almost demurely; peering at her through thick lashes. "I wanna know all your secrets," she said softly, as she moved even closer. Settling her cheek against Olivia's shoulder, her fingertips traced the smooth fabric of Olivia's shirt.
"You know all of the important ones now," Olivia murmured against her hair. "This one isn't all that scandalous, but it's good," she added with a grin.
"Well, don't keep me waiting, what is it?" Natalia prodded.
"I already knew about the texts," Olivia divulged. "The ones from Diane and her 'Gossip Squad'."
"You mean, you suspected, right?" Confused, Natalia sought clarification.
Natalia could literally feel that Cheshire grin as it spread across Olivia's lips. "No, I mean I already knew exactly what they said before Jen showed them to me."
Scrambling, Natalia twisted around to peer into Olivia's eyes, finding the mirth that danced within. "Really? How?"
Looking extraordinarily proud of herself, Olivia said, "They don't know it, but they have my personal cell number in their little gossip database. For years now, I've read every last nasty thing they've had to say amongst them. And let me tell ya, according to the rumors, you and I have been having one hell of a good time, even before my transplant." Her grin was priceless.
"Oh, please, do tell!" Natalia urged. Her tone held with scandalous airs, as she laughed.
Olivia laughed with her, and spent the next half-hour filling her in on all the salacious things they were apparently doing behind closed doors. And once all had been revealed, they laughed again, and agreed the bulk of the gossip was rife with possibilities for the future.
And then the conversation turned toward their afternoon shopping excursion. "I can't believe you got me to make out with you in the store this afternoon," Natalia laughed, bumping her shoulder against Olivia's. Her cheeks flushed with color, and she was thankful for the cold night air. "You get me to do a lot of things I never thought I'd do."
"Is that a good thing?" Olivia asked. She couldn't help the grin that hijacked her lips.
Natalia turned to her, fixing her gaze in Olivia's eyes. "You make me fearless," she declared, passionately. "I like that."
"And you keep me grounded," Olivia confessed. "I like that."
"Then I'd say we're perfectly suited," Natalia pronounced, sounding more than pleased with the prospect.
Olivia agreed wholeheartedly. "So… other than making out with me in public, what other dastardly things have I gotten you to do?" The question was light and playful, and her eyes flashed with mirth.
"You got me to fall in love with a woman," Natalia answered honestly. "I think that one's my favorite."
"Does that mean you would do it again?"
"Only with you…" Natalia's declaration was simple, yet profoundly deep, and sealed with a sweet kiss.
Talking in the gazebo reminded them of home, and it didn't take long for a mutual decision to be made to make their way back to their farmhouse. They could sit on their front porch and talk all night if they wanted; and that knowledge had been what propelled them toward home.
Sitting in the driveway, Olivia cut the engine, and glanced over at Natalia. "What are you smiling about?" she asked; a light chuckle in her voice.
"I was just thinking about what an amazing night this has been," Natalia answered quietly. She glanced at Olivia shyly. "You couldn't have planned a more perfect date."
Elated, Olivia's heart swelled in her chest. "Thank you for saying so," she said softly. "That's what I wanted for you, Natalia: a perfect evening—one that you'll never forget."
"Well, that's exactly what you've given me," Natalia murmured against Olivia's cheek, as she brushed it with her lips. "What do you say we cap off this perfect evening with some hot cocoa and cookies by the fire?"
"Ooh, you're gonna feed me your cookies?" Olivia's tone was naturally flirty, drawing a smile from Natalia. The flash in Olivia's eyes told her there was something dirty in that comment.
"What kind?" Olivia was asking suggestively.
"The baked kind," Natalia said dryly. "You're a flirt, and you have a filthy mind, Ms. Spencer." She found herself sorry that Olivia wouldn't put those thoughts to better use. Someday, she thought, hopefully.
Olivia laughed. Busted. She straightened her demeanor. "What kind of cookies did you bake, Ms. Rivera?" She was on her best behavior.
Natalia smiled. "That's better," she declared. "I baked a batch of chocolate chip on Tuesday, and I think there's still some peanut butter from last weekend."
"Chocolate chip are my favorite," Olivia announced.
"I know," Natalia grinned, "that's why I hide them, so you don't misbehave."
"What are you talking about, misbehave?" Olivia groused, as she climbed out of the Nissan. "I never misbehave."
Olivia's denial was laughable, and that's exactly what Natalia did. She laughed. Heartily. As she opened the passenger door, she was saying, "Oh, please, every time I forget to hide them, it looks like the Cookie Monster lives with us."
"The Cookie Monster?" Olivia huffed, feigning disgruntlement, as she stomped to Natalia's door. "What, are you saying I'm a hairy, blue beast?"
Arching an eyebrow, Natalia fixed Olivia with a stare. The corner of her mouth twisted upward, causing a deep dimple to form in her left cheek, as she considered the sheer absurdity of the question. "Yes, Olivia, that's exactly what I'm saying," she replied drolly.
That dimple drew Olivia's gaze like a magnet. She leaned closer, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against it, allowing her tongue to lightly dip inside. Natalia moaned softly and shivered a little, but not from the cold; and Olivia smiled, and kissed that dimple again.
The moon shone brightly on the front walkway, the night air was crisp and clear around them, and the rock salt crackled under their boots as they walked toward the front porch, creating a portrait of one singular moment in time—the end of their first official "date."
Reaching the front porch, Natalia turned to Olivia, smiling; and the way the moonlight caught the tips of her raven tresses, caressing the soft planes of her face, caused Olivia's breath to catch. She had an overpowering thought about how she could easily fall into this woman, and never seek release.
Wrapping her arms around Natalia's waist, Olivia pulled her closer. She leaned in, nipping playfully at Natalia's neck. The boards under their feet creaked, as she slowly maneuvered their bodies across the porch, until Natalia's back was pressed against the pillar; her mouth never leaving the softness of olive skin.
"Y'know, that was pretty smooth," Natalia nearly moaned.
"Ya think?" Olivia grinned, arching an eyebrow.
Their eyes locked, as Natalia's fingers tangled in Olivia's hair. "No, I don't think. I know…" she declared; making it clear that not only did she recognize Olivia's tacit control over her, but that she didn't mind it at all. And when she turned the tables on Olivia, deftly maneuvering her against that same pillar, the flash of liquid surrender in those shimmering pools of jade told Natalia that the feeling was more than mutual. They truly were perfectly suited to one another.
Natalia's mouth hovered over Olivia's; warm breath lightly caressing waiting lips, as her fingers worked at sending the most delightful tingles down Olivia's spine. "Y'know, I'm pretty sure I've kissed you more in the last six days, than I did Nicky during our entire relationship," she confessed; her face flushing again.
Olivia's lips were trembling; not from the cold, but from the anticipation of Natalia's kisses. "Should I take that as a sign I kiss better than him?" she husked.
"Definitely…" Natalia murmured, as she nuzzled Olivia's cheek.
"Oh, really?" Olivia grinned, one eyebrow arching, as her ego puffed with pride.
"Yes, really," Natalia grinned; feeding that ego. "And that I love you far more than I ever did him…" she whispered against Olivia's lips, her fingers lightly stroking the coolness of Olivia's cheek. And then she was kissing Olivia again. Deep, languid kisses that drew the breath from Olivia's lungs as lips parted, and released it back to her as mouths and tongues came together again and again.
As they lingered there, kissing in the moonlight, Natalia's body pressing insistently into her own, Olivia felt driven to touch her. Reaching between their bodies, she worked the leather belt loose, and slowly unbuttoned Natalia's coat. The anticipation made Natalia's belly flip-flop—she loved the way Olivia's fingertips felt on her skin.
Slipping her hands inside the heavy leather coat, Olivia pulled Natalia impossibly closer; fingers burrowing beneath the fabric of Natalia's crisp, burgundy shirt, seeking and finding the warmth of her skin. Slowly, her fingers caressed Natalia's lower back, drawing soft moans in response to her touch. And as they lost themselves in more absorbing kisses, Olivia couldn't say how or why, but she silently acknowledged that the simple act of her fingers touching the softness of Natalia's skin in that particular place, somehow made their kisses enough.
Some time later, empty mugs and a plate of cookie crumbs abandoned on the coffee table, they found themselves tangled together beneath an old quilt on the sofa; Natalia wrapped securely in Olivia's arms, as the fire crackled in the hearth. They were wearing pajamas now; having taken the time to run upstairs to change and wash up for bed. Natalia had met Olivia as she emerged from her bathroom, and couldn't stifle the giggle that bubbled from her chest when she noticed a little dab of toothpaste on the corner of Olivia's mouth.
"What?" Olivia grinned, feeling a bit self-conscious.
"You have…" Natalia caught the tip of her finger between perfect white teeth; then pointed, "umm, toothpaste…"
Olivia blushed just a little. "I seem to have a knack for that." Her tone was light and playful.
Natalia bit her bottom lip, adorably, causing a dimple to emerge. "I know…" she said, her eyes taking on an almost seductive glint. She moved closer, pushing Olivia against the bathroom door.
As if the deep purple robe hadn't been enough to make her pulse race, Natalia leaned in, licking and nibbling at the corner of Olivia's mouth, removing the toothpaste, as she murmured, "You have no idea how much I wanted to do this the last time…"
Their minds met in the memory of that morning in their kitchen, not so long ago.
"I wish you would have…" Olivia had groaned, succumbing to the lure of Natalia's skillful tongue.
"God, you were so beautiful, they way you blushed when I pointed it out," Natalia whispered.
Olivia kissed Natalia's nose. "You were the beautiful one," she quietly declared. "You looked absolutely radiant that morning, and you seemed so happy."
"I was very happy," Natalia admitted, shyly. "Every single morning I've woken up in this house, knowing you were here, I've felt happier than the morning before. I know that sounds sappy, but it's true."
Jade eyes turned teary at Natalia's admission. "You know, I argued with you about the dishes that morning, just so I could be closer to you for a little while," she confessed, blushing slightly.
"Oh, you did, did you?" Natalia's smile was effervescent.
"I did," Olivia confirmed, as Natalia kissed the corner of her mouth. "I would've done anything just to be close to you—even if it was only for a moment."
"You don't have to look for excuses to be close to me anymore, Olivia," Natalia whispered, lightly kissing her again. "You can be as close as you want, wherever you want." Her intent was as clear as the expression in her eyes, and Olivia took note of the invitation, as Natalia punctuated her declaration with another kiss—this one, not so light.
Back in the present moment, Natalia glanced at the plate of cookie crumbs. "We should've waited to brush our teeth," she said, practicality taking over.
"I'll go brush mine again, if you'll kiss me the way you did earlier," Olivia teased.
"You're such a flirt," Natalia playfully accused.
Olivia grinned, clearly pleased with herself. "You have a thing for pushing me against walls and doors, don't you?"
"And don't forget, cars and front porch pillars," Natalia added with a grin.
"No, we can't forget those, now can we?" Olivia flirted.
"Nope," Natalia answered lightheartedly. She focused her attention on the patch of skin just below Olivia's right ear, nipping at it playfully, causing Olivia to giggle and squirm.
When they settled again, curiosity got the better of Natalia, as she remembered Olivia's brief exchanges with both Luciano and Giancarlo throughout dinner. She offered her an inquiring expression. "Why didn't you ever tell me you spoke Italian?"
"I guess it just never came up," Olivia answered honestly. "It's not a secret or anything. I speak fluent French and a little Polish, too, if it matters." She made it sound as though it didn't.
"You, uh… you don't speak Spanish, do you?" Natalia sounded worried.
Olivia laughed. "Afraid I might've understood all those times you cussed me out?"
"Shut up," Natalia groused, shoving her playfully.
Olivia laughed harder. "Hey, you're the one who's sounding all panicky here," she teased. "I'm good either way."
"I called you some really nasty names," Natalia admitted, sheepishly.
"So I gathered," Olivia said wryly. The tone of her voice drew a laugh from Natalia.
"You're safe, Sweetheart. I don't speak Spanish," Olivia reassured. "Though, now I'm kinda sorry I chose Italian over Spanish in high school," she teased.
"Oh, stop it," Natalia fussed. "Where on earth did you learn Polish?" It seemed like such an odd language to know.
"Lena," Olivia answered. "She was born in Poland. She didn't move to England until she was a teenager. I don't know much Polish, but I know enough to translate when she's pissed," she laughed. "I'm sure Bianca does by now, too."
Natalia smiled, and looked up at her with awestruck eyes. This woman just simply fascinated her. "What about French? Where did you learn that?"
"I learned quite a bit of French from Lena too, actually. Though, she mostly taught me the juicy stuff," she grinned, drawing another smile from Natalia. "The rest, I learned at Oxford. It satisfied my foreign language requirement; which, I could've done more easily by taking Italian since I already knew it. But the better choice, business-wise, was to learn French, instead."
"Why's that?" Natalia asked, curious.
"Language is power, especially when negotiating deals in international markets."
"Do you do that often?" Natalia asked. "Negotiate international deals?"
"Quite often, actually," Olivia answered. "That's why some of my business calls are scheduled really late at night—the foreign markets are opening up, and business deals are happening while most of the U.S. is sleeping. And when I'm dealing in foreign stock—which is most of the time, I have to be available to make split-second decisions in the middle of the night."
"That's why the laptop and cell phone in the bedroom…" Natalia recognized.
Olivia grinned, remembering Natalia's earlier disgruntlement regarding electronics in the bedroom. "Yes, that's why..."
"You do a lot of things other than just running the Beacon—don't you," Natalia said; her fingertips lightly tracing Olivia's cheek, as she gazed at her, admiringly. It wasn't so much a question, as an observation.
"Yes, I do," Olivia confirmed. "You've seen some aspects of what I do, aside from the Beacon, but you'll be seeing a lot more in the future."
"Why's that?" Natalia asked, curious.
"I want you to be more familiar with the company that holds all my assets," Olivia replied, honestly.
"That's separate from the Beacon?" Natalia questioned.
"Yes," Olivia answered. "I have a financial holding corporation that's a completely separate entity—that way, my personal assets, y'know like my bank accounts, stocks and bonds, vehicles, the beach house in San Cristobel, the girls' trust funds, are protected, if someone sues the Beacon, or tries to take it over."
Natalia seemed satisfied with that explanation. "You're amazing," she whispered, as she nuzzled into Olivia's neck again.
A faint blush crept across Olivia's face, and she brushed her lips across Natalia's brow. "You're biased," she accused, sighing softly.
"Perhaps," Natalia easily conceded, "but that doesn't make it any less true." The tips of her fingers lazily traced along the fabric of Olivia's satin pajama top; feeling the heat of her skin just beneath. "You're so strong, and powerful, and you know so many things…" she said, admiringly, "and I've never known anyone who loves as deeply and completely as you do." Lifting her head, her eyes fell into Olivia's. "That's what I love the most about you—the fierceness of your love. You don't love easily, but when you do, your love has no limits."
Olivia reached up, brushing her fingertips across Natalia's cheek. "I do love you without limits, Natalia," she whispered softly. "And I… I hope you really understand how different I am with you. I know I'm not completely transparent yet, but… I've never been this open with anyone before…"
Natalia offered a soft smile in return. "I know you haven't, and I won't ever take that for granted," she quietly assured. Such knowledge made her feel even more secure in Olivia's love for her. Her promise was sealed with the light brushing of her mouth against Olivia's, followed by a series of soft little kisses that left Olivia feeling even more open to Natalia, and most of all, loved by her.
And then Natalia's expression turned serious, as she searched the deep jade of those mesmerizing eyes. "I know I said it before, but thank you for tonight. It was wonderful—from beginning to end." Tears welled up in those soft mahogany eyes. "No one's ever treated me the way you do, Liv," she said softly. Her fingertips lightly touched Olivia's lower lip.
Olivia's tongue flicked out in response, and Natalia's eyes flickered down, as she shifted her body upward; causing Olivia's breath to catch. She brushed her mouth against Olivia's, as she whispered, "No one's ever been this good to me… And I'm not just talking about tonight…"
"I'll always be good to you, Natalia," Olivia whispered in promise. She caught the underside of Natalia's chin with the tip of her finger. "Always…" The depth of conviction in the softness of Olivia's voice as she whispered that final word, told Natalia that it was an eternal truth. And she knew in that moment that she would never have cause to doubt this woman's commitment to her, regardless of any appearance to the contrary. That certainly didn't mean she would willingly tolerate any further shenanigans out of Olivia—like that scene with Josh the evening prior. No—she would brazenly call Olivia on her crap, if necessary. But Olivia's behavior during their date had restored Natalia's faith in her, and she honestly didn't believe it would ever be an issue again. And time would serve to fortify that belief, as they moved forward into the future they were destined to share.
A short while later, as they lay together beneath the old worn quilt, sleepily, Natalia snuggled against the warmth of Olivia's body. They both knew they should go to bed; but neither of them was willing to be the first to admit it. And so it was by silent, mutual agreement, that they stayed exactly where they were. This wouldn't do in the long run, but for tonight, it was what they both wanted and needed.
Glancing up, Natalia offered Olivia a soft smile, as their eyes met, exchanging emotions that didn't require words. And then she kissed Olivia one last time before nestling into her breast, where she listened intently to the steady beating of Olivia's heart. It was familiar, and it made her feel safe—partially because it had been Gus's; but more because it now belonged to Olivia—just like Natalia. In many ways, she felt as though she had always belonged to Olivia—and she knew, beyond all doubt, that she always would. She sighed contentedly, offering a silent prayer of thanksgiving for the woman whose very existence meant so much to her, before drifting into a deep, contented sleep.
Olivia lay there holding Natalia close, listening to the steady cadence of her breathing, as she counted her blessings, once again. She was well aware that the woman in her arms was a gift far more valuable than any she ever deserved, and she vowed, not for the first time, to find a way to be truly and completely worthy of her. But worthiness was an elusive thing—the one thing her money could never buy; and she was at a loss as to how someone of her deplorable past and questionable means went about acquiring it. In Olivia's mind, at least, that question could only be answered by someone who had accomplished such an insurmountable feat. And as she drifted off to sleep with Natalia nestled against her, Olivia wished with everything in her, that Emma's spring break would arrive in a hurry. She was in desperate need of that trip to Martha's Vineyard—and of a long overdue talk with the one person she knew could provide her with the guidance she needed—a person named Lena Kundera…
TBC…
Next Up: Our Girls are in for a whirlwind weekend… Who will confess what, and to whom? Who will confront whom, and why? What firestorms will be ignited as a result, and what will be left in the aftermath?
All these questions and more will be answered in…
Chapter 8 – Confessions and Confrontations