Whatever This Is

Chapter 4

Hermione's thoughts were going haywire as she formulated her first question for the man. On the outside, she simply took another sip of her tea and looked at him calmly.

"Let's start from the beginning, shall we? Why did you kill Professor Dumbledore?" Although she was trying to be calm, there was a slight tremor in her voice, and she had to fight the tears wanting to come into her eyes. Hermione Granger hated death, and she feared it. She hadn't seen anyone die until the final battle, and she had thought she could handle it. She healed people in the hospital wing carefully and exceptionally with tears falling down her cheeks. When the last patient had been treated, she promptly walked to the bathroom and threw up all of the grief and madness boiling inside her.

"I killed him because he told me to."

Hermione's eyes narrowed slightly. Asked him to because of…sacrifice, a higher position with Voldemort (still a spy?) and…(Harry's lessons?) he knew he would die (the poison and…Slytherin's ring?). Her eyes widened as she glanced sharply at Snape.

"He was already dying, wasn't he?"

"5 points to Gryffindor, Miss Granger."

She rolled her eyes impatiently and glanced at Draco quickly, who was looking back at her. Her eyes asked him a question, and he answered with a frown and shake of his head. She didn't know what this was doing to him…and why. She turned back to the man being questioned with a blaze in her eyes.

"Tell me everything."

"It started with the fact that the Dark Lord had given Mr. Malfoy here," she noticed Draco cringe, "the task of killing Albus. Narcissa was worried for him, so asked me to protect him, to enter into an unbreakable vow. One of the conditions of the vow was to do Draco's job for him if he could not. You must understand, Miss Granger, that I had no choice but to enter into the vow. I could show no possibility that my loyalty lie on the opposite side. I informed the headmaster of these happenings almost immediately, and we both knew that he was dying. I had treated him when he came back with Slytherin's ring. There was nothing that could be done. We knew that he would die, although we weren't sure when.

"I was still searching for a cure when he told me that should Draco prove unable to kill him, I should do it on his orders, rather than leave the vow unfulfilled and die. He told me that at least then his death could possibly mean something, and he could save Draco from redemption. I would move up in the ranks of the Dark Lord, and I did. I would be able to help the Order even more. Of course, I protested, but in the end…it had to be done, Miss Granger. I did what I had to, and I don't regret it."

Here she sighed, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

"But…why did the story never come out? His portrait could've – "

"I believe that Albus figured this new explanation would just bring chaos to the order. And in case any order members were in a position to give the Dark Lord information, whether willingly or not, they could truthfully say that I was on the side of the dark."

"Then how were you able to help us, if everyone in the order thought you were evil?"

"I had a contact."

Her eyebrows furrowed. She didn't want to pry so deeply into his part, but the curiosity overwhelmed her. "Who was it?"

He smirked slightly. "I believe the Veritaserum is wearing off, Miss Granger. Although I would've answered your questions truthfully without it."

She glanced at the clock. "But it hasn't been…"

"I have a strong mind, as you should know."

She frowned. "I worked so hard on it."

"And it was a commendable job. You just didn't have any good test subjects. I have some journals you could look at about fighting the effects."

She fought to repress her want for these journals, nodding in interest but not saying anything. After all, she wasn't a book-crazed student any longer. She was a book-crazed adult. And that meant that she'd toned it down a bit.

Draco was distracted, Hermione could tell. His eyes kept flitting back and forth between Snape and herself, and she could see beads of sweat dancing on his forehead. She stopped studying him as Snape began to talk again.

"Now, I know you have more questions to ask. Would you like to trick me again, or can you trust me now to answer truthfully?" He asked sarcastically, a wry twist to his lips. She fought the urge to blush and instead continued to her question.

"So, you say you had a contact." (But who was it?) "And you did contribute to the war?" Here he nodded. "Then why didn't you appear during the battle?" Hermione already had a suspicion about his answer to this question, but didn't want to presume too much.

"Miss Granger, just because I didn't rip my mask off, fight with the order against the Dark Lord, and then demand an Order of Merlin First Class as soon as the battle was over does not mean I wasn't there. You'd be surprised to know my actual role. Do you recall a death eater disarming the Dark Lord?" He raised an eyebrow as if suspecting her to know something.

"I knew it! You were the one that disarmed Voldemort right near the end! I told everyone that it had been a death eater, but no one believed me!"

"You think the Dark Lord would allow the enemy to get a spell in?"

"That's what I kept telling people!" Her face glowed from the pleasure of having been right all along, and she noticed Snape with what could possibly be a smile on his face. A beat later, and Hermione was confused again.

"But what happened after that? Why didn't you come to us, or reveal yourself?"

"It had been my plan to simply disappear after the war for different reasons. The main one being that I just wanted to live my life in peace and alone. Lucius Malfoy had other plans."

Here Hermione's eyes widened and she looked to Draco, who was looking directly at Snape with a pained expression. He looked back at him with a glare.

"Would you like to tell the next part, Draco? No? Then I will reveal what I know.

"Draco returned to Malfoy Manor for a short amount of time. Narcissa had called him there with the promise that Lucius was gone and she just wanted to talk. The topic of their conversation, I believe, was to save me. I was down in their dungeons, weak after the final battle and the constant torturing that Lucius was enjoying with me. He refused to help her, as she told me, and left. In the next few days, which I can hardly remember, she was eventually able to get me a wand. Lucius found her a moment later, and killed her before I was able to get to him. I had power enough to stun him and run out so I could apparate out. Since then I have been hiding out, as he has been constantly looking for me."

Hermione shook her head sympathetically before Draco suddenly stood up.

"I'm sorry Hermione, there's somewhere I need to be. Can I come by later?" She nodded, concerned, as he walked out of parlor and into the backyard to disapparate.

"If he had helped, his mother might still be alive. And Lucius might be gone." Snape glared at the doorway he had went through, and Hermione in turn glared defiantly at Snape.

"Or they might both be dead. He was scared. The war affected him more than you can know. You don't know what might've happened."

He nodded once, and appeared to be thinking.

"So why do you need my help? Why did you come here?" He looked her directly in the eyes, and the depth of his gaze both scared and intrigued her.

"I'm dying, Miss Granger."

Her eyes widened and then narrowed as she began to think.

"Is it a curse that Malfoy cast, sir? Or perhaps a – "

"Nothing like that. It's something infuriatingly muggle, something that most wizards don't have to deal with it. My father had it."

"A muggle disease, then. But very rarely are they inescapable. Muggles really have quite a few ways of overcoming them, and I know of a healer at St. Mungo's who specializes in healing them."

"I have cancer, Miss Granger. Stage four of colon cancer. There is no escaping it, even in the wizarding world."

"And you want me to search for a cure? I know nothing about cancer or how to even begin – "

"No. I need help with something else. I am suffering from the long term effects of the cruciatus curse, which I believe is your course of study?"

"Yes, we're in the midst of finding a cure. Of course, the long term effects are different for each person, but we believe that the main way of curing people is the same. But then…what about cancer?"

"Miss Granger, due to the cruciatus, I am in almost constant pain, of which no potions seem able to stop. I would like you to cure me of this, so I can die in peace."

"Then…you're simply giving up?" She leaned in slightly, as if she hadn't heard him correctly. He simply looked at her disparagingly.

"A completely Gryffindor kind of thing to say. Yes, Miss Granger, I suppose you could say I'm giving up. I have lived my life, and it has not been a particularly good one. There's no chance I will live to the end of this year, and I know that to be a fact. I've accepted it. Are you going to help me or not?"

She imagined him holding out his hand. In her mind she grasped it, knowing that she would help him in more than one way.

"Yes, I will help you."

Maybe Harry's 'saving people' thing had transcended onto her, but Hermione was suddenly plagued with a need to do more for him than he even wanted. She would find a cure for his cancer, even if he didn't want her to. After all, when Hermione Granger set her mind to something, she never did fail. And she wouldn't this time.

Almost an hour later, Severus Snape had left, with Hermione promising to keep in touch when she found something out. Her mind was reeling with all she had found out in the span of one day, and she worked to not appear as frazzled on the outside as she was on the inside. Feeling she had neglected Wendy long enough, she went to check on the girl, who was (surprise) reading a book. (Hermione wondered, not for the first time, if she was sure that Wendy wasn't related to her).

"Do you want me to read to you, sweetie?" She asked, going over to her bed and sitting down. Wendy shot her an exasperated look before closing the book propped up on her stomach.

"I'm too old for that, Hermione!"

Hermione hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. "Oh, that's right! What are you now, six?"

"Not quite," the girl answered with a shy smile. She suddenly looked sad. "Did Draco leave?"

"I'm afraid so, but he'll be back in awhile, so don't you worry."

Wendy smiled and looked curious. "Who was over here?"

"That was…an old friend of mine. He needs some help from me."

She nodded affirmatively. "It was good he came to you. You're the best helper."

Hermione smiled, settling in beside the girl on the bed. "Well, I don't know about that. Now, since you won't let me read to you, do you have another book I could read?"

Wendy smiled happily, reaching to her bedside table and grabbing a small chapter book. "I just finished this one. I think you're really going to like it. Do you want to talk about it after you're done?"

"Sure, but I don't know if I can read as fast as you!"

Wendy blushed, and they both settled down to read.

When Draco arrived later on, he acted as if nothing had happened, and Hermione didn't question him, wanting to wait for him to want to talk about it. She sent him off to play with Wendy before she went to her study to do some work and send an owl to the healer she knew that specialized in muggle medicine as well as wizarding.

Hours later, she was slumped over her desk, fast asleep. Draco knocked on her door before entering.

"I put Wendy to bed, she – Hermione? Hey, you awake?" He prodded her shoulder and she mumbled something indiscernible. He prodded her again and she turned her head.

"I was just resting my eyes, there's still more I need to do." He scooted her chair back and picked the tired women up, to her protestations.

"Draco! I'm really not that tired, please put me down!"

He did put her down, but not until he had reached her bed.

"I want to go home, and I have to make sure you're safely in bed before I leave. I can't trust you to get to bed yourself when you wear yourself out like this."

"Draco?" She sat up in bed and pursed her lips nervously. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you help him? Why didn't you try, when you knew he was on our side?"

"I…I don't know. I guess I didn't think I could. I believed I would cause both our deaths."

Hermione yawned widely, prompting a returned yawn from Draco. She recalled something Madame Pomfrey had told her before they cared for patients during the final battle, and said it to Draco.

"The first step to helping others…is to believe in yourself."

"I guess I still need to work on that. G'night love." He kissed her on the forehead as she replied, before smiling slightly and walking out of the room, turning off his light on the way.

Hermione got under the covers without bothering to change clothes. She was beyond tired, and although she had been fast asleep moments before, she couldn't get to sleep now. She was remembering what Snape had said near the end of his visit. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her again.

They had both stood up, and she walked him to the back door, where he could disapparate safely.

"Thank you for your courtesy, Miss Granger."

She nodded with a smile, and he began to walk out the door. She stopped him with a word.

"Sir?"

He turned back with an eyebrow raised.

"Who was your contact?"

He smiled wryly, acknowledging the second time she had asked the question before answering.

"Miss Ginevra Weasley."

And he walked towards the middle of her backyard and disapparated.