Disclaimer: Well by now you probably know that it's not my idea. But if you call the police on me, I'll tell them you wrote it.

Authors Note: Ok sorry guys that totally was longer then I expected. The end of the year got so busy! I know, excuses right? Well since its summer except faster updates!

Oh and I would like to give a special thanks to my 100th reviewer Liah Pardo. Keep up the reviews, they make me smile!

Chapter eighteen: No light at the end of the tunnel

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James sulked, this was unreal. It was all a dream. No, not a dream. A horrible, horrible nightmare. But when he pinched himself to try to wake up, nothing happened. This was the reality of his life.

The only person in the whole world that he loved had caught that ho bag, Brielle, kissing him while he attempted to push her off. But that's not what she saw. No, nothing would ever be right again.

He wanted things to be right. He really did. But if he knew his fiery red headed love, she didn't forgive easily. Not only did she not forgive easily but without proof he knew she wouldn't believe a thing he said, she saw what she saw.

Nothing could change her strong mind. If only he could find proof of some sort, something to show it wasn't what he wanted. But what? He supposed he could make a pensieve of the experience and then show it to her, but she wouldn't for the life of her even look into the darn thing if it had anything to do with James.

He decided he would just lay there. Thinking, remembering all the good times with Lily, plotting a way to get her back. He was miserable, and hardly anything could make him feel better. James put his clock in the drawer, time was not something to worry about today. He had bigger issues to face.

He guessed it was about noon time when Sirius bustled into the dormitory. "Wo mate, what the hell happened?" Sirius asked. He could tell something was seriously wrong with James, why else would he skip classes to just lay in bed and sulk. That was completely unlike James.

"Well hmm I was having this horrible nightmare, and then I woke up and Brielle the bitch was standing at the foot of my bed. She seductively walked towards me, which was disgusting, the kissed me. I tried so damn hard to push her off, but I think she has practice with this or something because she held on. And then Lily walked in and saw her kissing me.

Let's just put it this way, when I leave this room, after seeing her I'll be lucky to ever see daylight again."

Sirius grimaced in pain remembering all the things Lily would say and do to James before they became friends. She would do anything and everything from kneeing him where it hurts, to saying really mean things right to his face, to even giving him detention (the perks of being a prefect) for the stupidest things such as standing in the middle of the hall talking to friends- she called it loitering.

Truthfully Sirius was impressed that James had kept on going after Lily after all that she'd said to him. He was really crushed so many times, so many emotional blows. Even him being a strong man who was rarely rejected knew how much it hurt to be broken up with or someone being mean to you that you care about. Prongs sure had perseverance.

"Aw mate, you worked so hard for her too. And I know this wasn't your fault, I'll talk to Remus and Peter and we'll work to devise a plan to show her that you really didn't mean to do it, some way to make her see. We are marauders after all, and out plans always work." Sirius said with a goofy grin and James for the first time that day actually smiled at how untrue that was- for their pranks always worked while their plans were not so good.

It was the effort that counted and James felt so grateful to have such good friends as the marauders.

Here I'll tell you what Sirius said with a sudden spark of an idea. I'll skip the rest of classes for today and we can head down to Hogsmeade and go to the Three Broomsticks. A firewhiskey is just what you need in these hard times.

James smiled at his best friends' effort to make him feel better. Though he didn't think that drinking was the way to solve issues right now he just needed some time to think things out, and having a night out with his best mate sounded like the perfect opportunity to do just that, so he reluctantly agreed.

The grabbed the invisibility cloak and headed out towards the one eyed witch passageway. No one seemed to notice that they had disappeared, especially not a certain green eyed girl.

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Lily sprinted from James's dormitory. She couldn't believe the nerve of him. As she was running down the stairs that lead to the boys dorms her eyes welled with tears when she realized how much James's cheating had hurt her.

She tried to blink the tears back and to tell herself that James was nothing to her and she had no feelings for him whatsoever, even though on the inside she knew it was a lie. But she for sure couldn't believe his actions, they were over, what he had done was unforgivable.

And Lily was not one to be forgiving. Especially in circumstances such as these, he had been inappropriate and she had full rights to feel this way, didn't she?

As she started the climb up to her own room she let her tears fall freely. A girl named Heather Wright asked her what was wrong. And of course Lily mumbled the usual "nothing" lie. A few others asked her the same question and she had a surprisingly huge urge to tell them to leave her alone and go find something else to do with their lamely pathetic lives, but resisted. Why did people have to be so god damned curious and wanting to be sympathetic? She asked herself annoyed.

By the time she finally got to her room she was fully sobbing, she felt like something was stuck in her throat and like her stomach was going to fall out her butt. Everyone was down at breakfast so she was free to act however she wanted.

She punched her pillow as hard as she possibly could, hoping to get some of her anger out, but she forgot to tuck in her thumb so all she ended up doing was making her wrist hurt, which only made her feel worse. She cringed in pain, and cried harder starting to think thinks over more.

But how could James do that to her! She thought he loved her, but obviously he was a two timing bastard, that part was apparent. She had been expecting something like this all along, her gut told her, that was why she had declined for so many years, not just because he was a bullying toe rag but because she was worried that he would hurt her how he just had.

One thing was certain; he had to have done this because she refused to sleep with him. So he found a fugly slut to have his fun with instead. And she was bloody glad she had refused it, because she would have felt like such a dirty skank if she had. She had no regrets about saying no in that situation.

She climbed into bed, feeling horrible about herself. She had no idea that James was doing the exact same thing at the exact same moment, two always act as one, even when you are broken up.

Lily laid against her flannel gold and red sheets sniffling and started to have flashbacks. Their random first kiss, their walks, her singing to him, last night, and then the horrible event that had only happened minutes before. Even though she knew she loved him, it hit her really hard while lying on the soft goose feather bed, she had fallen head over heels for James Potter, and even though she hated him at this current time and place she loved him.

She started thinking about all the times he had tormented her, hexing her, and other people especially unexpecting Slytherins, immaturely asked her out every time she was in sight of him, and pranked her. And she realized how much he had changed and grown up within the past year. Sure he had cheated on her which just went to show that he was still the same old James Potter, but now she realized why she loved him. It just went to show you don't really know what you've got until it's gone.

Lily kept thinking about all the great times that she and James had had and then her mind would always flash to the moment when she saw James kissing Brielle and it just made her want to throw up, which she became quite close to doing because of all the crying.

Eventually she cried herself to sleep, pillow wet, she was shaking. She had horrible nightmares where James was just inches from her and every time she'd reach out to him he'd go farther away and she'd go closer and he'd go far away again. Always so close yet so far away.

She awoke to hushed whispers "why wasn't she in classes?" a voice she recognized as Kat's ask. "I don't know, I came up here to grab my Herbology book and I saw her asleep, breaths shaky, and pillow wet. Lily never skips classes, I think something is seriously wrong, at least I got all of the assignments written down for her- I went to all her teachers" replied a voice that sounded a lot like Sienna's.

Lily opened her eyes and lifted her head, "hi guys" she said in a barely audible whisper that they could just make out. She looked horrible, her lips were chapped and puffy, and her eyes had great big dark bags underneath them and they were extremely bloodshot. It was very obvious to them that she had been crying.

"Good god Lily what happened?" Asked Natasha who had just walked in from the bathroom. All of her friends were looking at her expectantly, and she launched into the tale of how she had gone up to find James so they could go to breakfast together and had walked in to see that horrible scene that now haunted her.

At the very end Sienna looked murderous. "Oh I'm going to kill him, how dare he cheat on you! He is dead, worse then dead-" she was cut off by Natasha "someone grab her wand now, or she will kill him, and that will not be pretty at all."

"How could that bloody bastard do that, I mean who does he think he is, pushing his luck like that, he was going to get caught eventually" at this point in time Kat grabbed Sienna's wand with an indignant 'hey' coming from Sienna "I just don't want you in Azkaban!" she replied.

Sienna nodded, she probably would land a one way ticket to Azkaban if she had her wand and Potter was anywhere within hexing/cursing distance. But all of them were baffled. And Natasha and Sienna in particular started getting a little nervous, if James could do this maybe all the Marauders were a team in their little plans.

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The next morning James walked down, or more like stumbled down to breakfast. He had a major hangover, and Remus was out of his hangover potion. He massaged his head as he sat down with a splitting headache. 'Why do I listen to Sirius why? Mental note, never take his how to get over a girl drinking advice again' James said with a slight bit of dizziness.

The previous night he and Sirius had drowned two bottles of firewhiskey each. He knew he couldn't skip two days of classes for no real reason- besides one that he had caused himself so he just had to get through the day. He also couldn't go to Madame Pomefry for some hangover potion, because then he would most likely get in trouble for drinking too much and on a school night too.

He tried to eat, though he had a horrible feeling in his stomach like he was going to puke every single thing he ate anyways, so he ended up eating a fairly small breakfast just to be on the safe side.

"Well, well, well isn't it the man whore James Potter" came a voice from behind him that he distinctly recognized as Sienna's voice from behind him and cringed, he was dead- literally.

"What do you want Sienna?" he asked in an annoyed 'won't you just leave me alone, can't you see I'm already in pain' sort of voice. "I want to know why you would be such a bastard as to break Lily's heart. She really loved you and you blew it you immature asshole."

He looked up at her with a glare "you know what Sienna there are two sides to the story, and I will prove to you and Lily that Brielle sexually assaulted me. Now can you take your bitch ass away from me cause I'm really not in the mood to deal with this right now" she gave him a glare that matched and even possibly topped his.

"Oh and why don't you let Lily fight her battles for herself, I know you love her as a friend, but this is between the two of us, and we really don't need you to be a part of it" he said with a smirk. She started to stalk off, but then doubled back and punched him right in the eye.

He doubled over with pain and muttered "that really wasn't necessary" and looking triumphant she smiled and walked away.

Lily, Natasha, Kat and Alice walked into the great hall to see Sienna walking away from Potter. Sienna looking very smug and pleased with herself and James, well he looked like he was in pain, a lot of pain.

"You didn't actually hurt him did you?" Kat asked nervously, who knew what Sienna could do. "Well that depends on your definition of hurt… I punched him and cursed him out some but…"

Lily was glad that her friend didn't actually kill him, but still having him be in pain was not a good thing, even though he had hurt her greatly.

She wasn't ready to talk to him, she didn't ever want to him again. But she did. Oh god love was so confusing. How could you so easily hate and love someone at the same time. No she thought to herself 'you hate James bloody Potter, he is bad, he hurt you, he cheated on you, he is not loyal' and she started to believe it.

Without a sideways glance at Potter she headed to the far end of the Gryffindor table, far away from him.

Sirius walked down to breakfast at about that time and headed straight for James. He was about in the same condition as his best friend, hangover wise, and also planned to eat very little.

He took one look at his best mate and gasped. James had a huge black eye that was swelling by the minute, and looked like he was ready to break down. "Bloody hell Prongs! What happened to you?" he asked with surprise, though he was half expecting the answer to come.

"Two words Sirius, two words- your girlfriend." James stated in an annoyed tone of voice. People were really getting on his nerves today. That was half cause of the emotion, and half cause of the hangover.

"If you want I can talk to Sienna" Sirius said somewhat nervously. "No just leave it, I'm already in enough of a mess as it is, I don't need any more of one" James said with a sigh.

"Well I'm going to head to Arithmancy, I'll see you later" he said and headed off. It was better to be early, especially with how he was feeling.

When he got there he wasn't the only one who seemed to have the idea of getting there early. At the opposite end of the room there was a petite girl with Auburn red hair and stunning emerald eyes.

He started to walk into the room. But wasn't quite sure what to do. He could continue, and have it be extremely awkward. He could retreat and have Lily hating him forever. Or he could try to talk to her and see how it would work out.

He decided to go with the third option, if it didn't work at least he would have tried.

So he walked into the room with as much confidence as he possibly could have, threw his book bag on the ground and took a seat. It was quite for a minute then he cleared his through.

She looked up in an expecting way. "Um Lily can I just talk to you? Explain some things and such. Because I love you and I truly do, and I'd like to tell you my side of the story and not just have you assume things."

"YOU LOVE ME? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! James you are such a skeeze! You kissed her for gods sake, you bloody kissed her. And I'm supposed to believe what you have to say? I don't think I will, James I can't trust you. You don't have any proof that that is what happened so how can you possibly expect me to believe you.

I cannot believe your nerve. This is just because I wouldn't sleep with you, you had to hook up with another girl. Because you couldn't get your sex. Well you know what you are an insolent arrogant prat!" She finished and her words hit him like a bunch of bullets.

She wasn't even listening, she would never listen. It was hopeless, he should just give up. But he couldn't, he loved her, and he had to prove that to her. No matter what, James vowed, someday she will see that I truly do love her, "and if I have to die for her to prove it, I will" he thought to himself.

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Authors note: What did you think? Do you totally hate me? I tried to capture the emotions as best as I could. I've never been cheated on, but there was this guy and he said he liked me and stuff. And he kept leading me on and then I found out that he didn't like me so much anyways. So I kind of used my memories from that to do this. Well your reviews make me smile. I'll update soon, I'm going out of town, but as soon as I get back I will! So review please, they make me smile!