Hello happy readers, this is my first posted fanfic and gasp Huh? it's for Alice 19th? Sorry I don't mean to offend all you loyal Alice 19th fans or Watase-san, I just never thought I'd write for this series. I'm not a very big fan of the main character, Alice and there were some other things I didn't really like. But on the other hand, thinking about it, that's the perfect reason to write a fanfic...to play and arrange a new outlook on a familiar world...maybe a more sympathetic approach to a hated character? Heh...I'm so obvious, aren't I? Oh well, since you guessed it, this is my sympathetic look at Mayura's story! Slanted to extreme but not without it's charm...though if you never liked Mayura and you're a diehard Alice fan you'll probably hate it...but try to enjoy anyway.
Disclaimer: In no way, shape or form do I own the Alice 19th characters, the Lotis words, the Maram words or anything else associated with Alice 19th. Everything Alice 19th is property of the respective owners and other people including it's great and awesome creator Watase-san. This is just a fanfic, it's only a fanfic...
Chapter 1: Swirling Confusion
Oh course she was happy for them.
Really...how could she not be?
The thing, the black swirling thing that was Darva had been vanquished. She was free now. It's influence...Darva's influence over her was gone.
Alot of things were gone...
Mayura sighed softly as she gazed into the distance of her new beginning. A beginning that somehow still felt like the end.
But why?
Why?
It wasn't like she had really loved him, had she? It was mostly infatuation, a simple crush born from all her admiration and respect for him. Nothing really, just nights and days...just hopes and wishes, just the constant...the constant feelings she had for him.
Nothing really.
And all that time they spent together.
Nothing really.
Honest. Honestly.
Was "Honesty" a Lotis Word? She didn't really know. It could be for all she knew but then how could SHE...Alice...lie to her?
No. Alice was good. She was a great sister. A great sister who loved and wanted only the best for her.
But sometimes she wondered. Even after all that trouble she wondered.
What kind of loving sister wished you away?
What kind of loving sister spent so much time envying you...hating you for loving someone she never told you she loved?
Especially when that someone...that someone was someone you loved too?
No. No. Dangerous, too dangerous to think like that...because well the last time she'd thought like this she'd been-
((consumed))
No. No more. She wouldn't allow it. Better not have these thoughts. Alice was a good sister. She loved her. She loved Alice-
But what kind of-
What kind of sister wished you away...over someone she never even talked to before? What kind of sister didn't care? Didn't care that she loved him?
No. Alice rescued her.
Alice sent her away in the first place.
No. No. Don't think about that.
Think about her...don't think about her...better just to be...
better just to be-
((empty))
empty?
Yes...empty. Empty of pain, of doubts, of anger...and love? Could she really empty herself of love? Not just the love she felt for him, but for...everyone?
Maybe that was going too far...but as Mayura took in the sweet clear afternoon, the wind blowing gently and rippling the leaves, the faint voices of her happy classmates going about their lives, she found that it didn't matter. The love she already had for them and everyone she knew was already fading. Washed out by her heavy emotions, they were now dull shades of the vibrant feelings she had once had.
Like herself. But it didn't have to be that way. Maybe with the emptiness, the distance she could learn how to put herself back together. Maybe.
And with that hope, she began the process. Weeks went by, months...dragged by as she learned the ways and processes of closing down the sections of her heart, walling up the memories and drifting into the place below herself and the world...the place of nothing, no thoughts, no feelings, no sisters, no family...a world of silence, a world of NOT, the world of-
((EMPTY))
So what did you think? Will Mayura's new comfort bring her the relief she needs or is her new haven a door to a world best not opened? You'll see, I'll see, when I write the next chapter. Till then R&R