Wow, a very late update. I made this at Alex's(Alpoptart) house, yep! We had fun with this one.

Well, a little update on my computer delima : It's still a big problem! I'm NOT going on hiatus, but updates will not be every other day anymore, but more like a week or so. Sorry!

... Did I mention that this fic is rated M? Well it is. And this chapter proves it.

Roy went over the information in his head. 'Ed…food poisoning…think girl…me…boyfriend'. All of that seemed to add up but there was one piece of information left out. Ed said he was gay. Roy looked in horror at the smile Ed produced. A smile that said everything. A smile that said "hunger". Ed was at the age where his hormones were at high. Roy shuttered at the thought of what that would make Ed capable of.

Ahhh… Roy remembered that age very well. Looking at porn magazines, masturbating every chance he got, and grabbing every piece of woman flesh in reach like a baby. Roy looked at Ed. He realized Ed couldn't use his right hand unless he wants Winry fix him up with a new mechanical "part". That's what probably drove Ed to the other team. Now Royunderstood why Ed was hatching this plan. But no matter how sorry he felt for Ed he didn't need Ed staring at him like starved African kid.

Roy abruptly pointed his index finger at Ed. "You're lying!" He said with triumph. Yea, you can't lie to the Great Roy Mustang, damn it! Ed's eyes went serious for a second. "Damn, he knows!" Ed thought.

"Lying? What do you mean, Colonel?" Al asked in his innocent voice.
"Your brother isn't sick from food poisoning, he's just gay!"

Ed knew this wasn't good, so he decided to test his acting skills. "G-gay?" Ed said with his lower lip quivering. "That is so mean! I am not a lesbian! How could you say such a hurtful thing?" Ed then clasped his hands over his eyes and started to sob.

"Damn it, I don't need to see my brother cry like a fucking girl who just found out that those bumps weren't bug bites, but really genital herpes!" Al thought bitterly. He placed his hand on his brother's shoulder to comfort him, then turned to Roy.

"Look what you've done! Don't make him cry!" Al shouted.

Roy was slightly taken aback. He looked down to see Ed give an evil smirk under his fingers. Roy couldn't believe it! Roy knew that he could only see the evil smirk, and Ed was playing every one like a fool. "What? He told me he was g-"

Ed then sobbed louder and started blubbering words that no one could make out. "MEN ARE ALL PIGS! THIS IS JUST HIS SICK WAY OF DUMPING ME!" Ed wailed. Everyone shot Roy a dirty look. "Colonel, please, be nice. Just play along until we can fix this!" Al said. Roy knew there was no way to prove his innocents and that Ed was really just fucking with everyone. Roy quickly formed a plan. He sighed in defeat, and placed his hands on the desk. "Alright, fine. Why don't you guys leave for a minute while I apologize to Ed?" He asked, waiting for everyone to leave so he could get to the bottom of this hoax.

When every one walked out of the room Ed quickly jumped on Roy's lap. Roy gasped a little then proceeded to talk to Ed. "What the hell do you think your doing?" Roy whispered.

"Well honey poo, I decided to hide the fact I'm gay by screwing with everyone's mind." Ed said triumphantly. "They all seemed to eating it up."

"Well you can't fool me, food poisoning doesn't last that long." Roy declared. Ed just laughed sweetly.
"Well, you're the only one." Ed said suggestively. I could have some fun with this, Ed thought. Ed nuzzled his face in the nape of Roy's neck. "You'll just have to wait for some more later, I got things to do, sweety." With that Ed kissed Roy on the lips for a few seconds and left. Roy sat there yet again dumbfounded.

Man, wtf? Poor Roy, the only sane and in character here.

Er...

Flames are totaly understandable!