EXCERPTS FROM THE AUDIO JOURNAL OF QUI-GON JINN, JEDI KNIGHT
Coruscant, Jedi Temple, 13:5:28
First entry in several days.
Obi-Wan and Anakin's recovery is doing well, so well that today they were both discharged from the healers' wing.
They did not alert me or Lianne so that we could go there and help them, but walked to my quarters by themselves, with Anakin's supporting a still limping Obi-Wan.
My Padawan seems to have accepted well his mutilation. He says it is better to have lost an arm than his life and he has adapted remarkably quickly to his artificial arm. He is already able to hold large objects, like a bottle or a book, while he is still having problems with the smaller ones, such as eating utensils. However I have not doubt he will soon overcome this and we have already scheduled a lightsabre training session for tomorrow.
I hope this lesson will teach him to be less impulsive.
Obi-Wan has told me Anakin was the first one inside the hangar, and he did not wait for my son when he attacked Dooku, with the result he was quickly bested by my former master.
Then Obi-Wan and Dooku battled each other, and my son was gaining the upper hand, until the moment his opponent used the Force to make the ceiling collapse over Anakin's unconscious form. Obi-Wan had to act quickly to avoid my Padawan was killed, and Dooku took advantage of his brief distraction to wound him.
Once again Obi-Wan has protected Anakin...I wonder if he will ever realize these are not simple coincidences but that the will of the Force is behind each episode…
As for my son's condition, the trip to my quarters exhausted him. In fact, prideful and stubborn as his usual, he has wanted to walk here instead of accepting the hooverchair the healers wanted him to use. He has spent most the day lying on my couch with his leg propped up on several cushions, but he is already looking forward to starting his therapy tomorrow morning.
I left him mostly alone today – alone with Lianne, I mean – for I felt they needed to be close to each other after the worries and the anxieties of the past several days.
Lianne had a routine check yesterday afternoon and, Force be blessed, the healers confirmed the foetus is in perfect health and not suffering from the stress its mother had to endure. It was, of course, a wonderful news, one that made my almost forty years old daughter-in-law giggle like a girl.
It was so beautiful to see her so happy and carefree, but I am afraid it won't last.
The war is brewing. The Republican Army is being shipped across the galaxy even as I talk and it will not be long before the news of a battle reaches us.
As it was rumoured even before the discovery of the clones, the Supreme Chancellor has decided to give the command of the troops to the Sith and the Jedi knights.
The Jedi Council has tried to protest that we are guardians of peaces, not soldiers, and we have already lost too many knights on Geonosis, but it was useless.
It turned out that the Sith Order has been suffering many losses in the past years and their numbers are very low nowadays. They don't have enough knights and masters to cover all the command positions on the many battlefronts what are opening.
This last bit of information surprised and embittered Obi-Wan, for he was not aware of what was going on in his order. His elders have never informed him, and this new show of mistrust has hurt him very much.
It hurt him so much I refrained from telling him he too has been appointed as general of the Republic and assigned his own battalion of clones to lead in battle. I will keep this a secret as long as possible, and let him and Lianne enjoy their time together before telling them the truth.
Coruscant, Jedi Temple, 13:6:2
Anakin has left this morning to escort Senator Amidala to Naboo.
Obi-Wan was not pleased at all to hear it, and started pacing back and forth as he often does when he is troubled or irritated, the pain to his leg totally forgotten.
I asked him why he was so upset by the news, and he said that leaving them alone is looking for troubles. He then reported me an episode that happened on Geonosis as they were chasing Dooku's speeder on a gunship.
The gunship had rocketed under a hit and Padmé had fallen off, landing on the sands beneath. So Anakin had shouted the pilot to bring down the gunship, completely forgetting his mission, and Obi-Wan had been forced to reprimand him harshly to make him reason.
"I planned to tell you the first time the topic was raised again," my son said, "but I did not expect the Council would send Anakin – or any other Jedi – to play the bodyguard to the Senator to Naboo. I thought the clones were now acting as escorts for the politicians while they are not travelling for official business."
"They are, but it was Senator Amidala who requested Anakin's presence, and the Chancellor backed her."
Obi-Wan frowned, his lips set in a thin line. "I wonder if it was not really Anakin who asked Palpatine to back the Senator's request so to be able to be alone with her…"
"Obi-Wan…" I started, but my son interrupted me.
"I know what you are going to say. That I am too suspicious and mistrusting, that I see dangers everywhere. Maybe you are right, but I still retain my opinion: I don't like Palpatine. I don't trust him and I don't want Anakin to spend time with him. The man's adulation and attentions feed the boy's pride and arrogance. Anakin is already too aware of his power, he does not need someone to remind him of it every day."
I nodded, acknowledging his concerns and Obi-Wan continued.
"On Geonosis, when I was held prisoner, Dooku told me the Senate is now controlled by the Dark Lord, Darth Sidious and I have been thinking about it since then."
"Are you suggesting Palpatine is the Dark Lord?"
"No, I am not suggesting he is, but I cannot exclude the Dark Lord might be controlling him and using him to take control of the galaxy…or Anakin." Obi-Wan stopped his pacing and stared at me, his arms crossed on his chest.
"I don't think it is so, Obi-Wan. I sense no deception in the Chancellor. I don't know him as well as Finis Valorum, but I think he is a dedicated leader. As for Dooku, we now know he too is a Dark Lord. Probably, as the deceiving being he is, he was simply trying to raise your suspicion. He was trying to spread mistrust between us."
Obi-Wan nodded, albeit unwillingly. "You are probably right, Father. After all, how can I trust a man who tried to chop my leg off just a few days later?" He gave me his patented smirk and I smiled, patting his arm.
"That's a sound reasoning, my son. And don't worry, I will remember to have a good talk with Anakin about Senator Amidala."
This put an end to our conversation. Obi-Wan left me for his therapy session, while I meditated about what has been said.
There is no doubt I must have a conversation with Anakin about his feelings for Padmè. My Padawan must see that while it is all right to develop a friendship with her, a stronger attachment won't be tolerated. This is the Jedi way, for the best or the worst, and Anakin has made a commitment to the Order—a commitment he must respect, no matter how hard it might be.
Coruscant, Jedi Temple, 13:6:8
Obi-Wan's leg is now completely healed. We did some lightsabre sparring today and I was relieved to see his movements have returned to be as quick and powerful as before.
However the joy of seeing my son back in form has been dampened by the awareness he will soon be ready to resume his duty.
Lianne knows it too, and she is putting up a brave front—as Obi-Wan himself does.
My son is torn. I know he looks forward being back in action for he hates this forced inactivity, especially in a moment when the Republic is in such danger. But, on the other hand, he does not wish to leave his wife alone now that she needs him so much. Theoretically Obi-Wan could ask to be reassigned to Temple or diplomatic duty, but he is aware he is a brilliant tactician and that his military training can make a difference on a battlefield.
He does not want to leave Lianne, but he will. He will go to the front for the Sith, the servant of the Force that is inside him, will always come before the man and the husband.
Some people might think he is cruel or insensitive, but this is how the Sith are trained. They are allowed to form attachments, but their duty must always come first. Sometime I wonder if their Code is not even harder than the Jedi's. What is worse, not be allowed to love or being allowed to love fully knowing you are going to hurt your loved ones when you tell them they will always come after your duty?
Lianne knows all of this, of course. She has been married to my son for almost fifteen years, and she will bear her pain and her fear in silence, with courage and strength, but that will not make it easier for neither of them.
As for myself, the Council has decided I will remain on Coruscant, teaching to the Padawans who are too young to follow their masters on the battlefield.
Instead Anakin—who will return from Naboo tomorrow-- has been assigned as Obi-Wan's second in command. The Council thinks my Padawan is too a gifted pilot to be kept grounded, and they also believe he can complete his apprenticeship under Obi-Wan's tutelage, since my son had a hand in his training from the start.
I agree with the Council's evaluation: Anakin is too gifted to be kept on Coruscant with his aging master and, maybe, the necessity to work closely together in dangerous situation will help to mend the strained relationship between him and Obi-Wan.