Title: Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows
Author: Kimberly21570
Fandoms: Guiding Light / All My Children
Pairings: Olivia and Natalia / Lena and Bianca
Disclaimer: The characters of Olivia and Emma Spencer, Natalia and Rafe Rivera, Gus/Nicky Aitoro, Alan and Lizzie Spaulding, Frank Cooper are owned by CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble. The character of Bianca Montgomery is owned by All My Children, ABC/Disney and Prospect Park. The board game Monopoly™ is owned by Hasbro. Rights to the character Willy Wonka belong to Warner Bros.
No copyright infringement intended with regard to Guiding Light, CBS/TeleNext, Proctor & Gamble, AMC, ABC/Disney, Hasbro, Warner Bros., or any other entity. With the exception of the conversations that took place between Olivia, Natalia, Emma, and Rafe on 5.28.2009, parts of the conversations between Olivia and Rafe that aired on 6.1.2009, and Olivia and Natalia on 6.2.2009, and a line from the 6.22.2009 conversation between Olivia and Natalia, the dialogue, settings, and story content in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply.
Thank you all so much for all of your awesome comments. I appreciate each and every one of you. And thank you, as always, to my pal, MoniRod for the edit. You totally Rock, Woman! I appreciate you more than you know.
Rating: Overall, Chapter 14 is rated NC-17 for some sexual situations and strong language. However, this particular update is rated PG.
Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows
Copyright May 2009
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."
— James 1:2-8, the Bible, New International Version (NIV)
"God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."
Unknown
Chapter 14.7 – Trials and Tribulations:
Saturday, June 6, 2009… The Farmhouse of Love—9:45 a.m. Central Daylight Time
Together, Natalia and Emma planned a big family breakfast, hoping that Rafe would attend. He had declined dinner and movie night the evening prior, telling Natalia that he just wasn't "ready for this whole family thing." Disappointedly, Natalia had excused him from their plans, and agreed to let him take her old car into town for the evening. She hadn't a clue what he had done all evening, or with whom. She only knew that he had come home sometime after they all went to bed, and she hadn't seen him until he returned from his morning run, just as she entered the kitchen that morning.
So she and Emma set their plan in motion, filling the house with the aromas of all his favorite breakfast dishes. And to her surprise and delight, Rafe agreed to breakfast with the family. It was an uncharacteristically subdued meal, except for the Emma's chatter, and Rafe didn't interact as much as Natalia would have liked. But he had joined them, and for that, she was thankful. It was a step in the right direction.
After breakfast, while Olivia and Natalia worked together to clean the kitchen, Emma coaxed Rafe outside with her. She took him down by the pond to show him the ducks, and over to the pasture, to pet the cows, and then up to barn to show off her new bicycle. She was excited about the cows and the ducks, and chattered on about their visit to Katama Farm, where she had gotten to pet chickens, and piglets, and goats—even baby ones! Rafe was enjoying the time with her, but by the time they reached the barn, he was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed.
Meanwhile, Olivia and Natalia had finished cleaning up the breakfast mess, and wandered out to the front porch. Mugs of fresh-brewed coffee in their hands, they lounged on the old wooden bench like they had a hundred other times, chatting about everything and nothing, the way they often did. It was as relaxed as they had felt at home since Rafe's arrival three days prior, and they were both very grateful for the reprieve.
And then, out of nowhere, their solitude was shattered.
"Mommy!" Emma cried out, as she came running toward the porch. She sounded distressed, almost frantic, and both Olivia and Natalia were alarmed. Together, they ran toward her, meeting her halfway down the sidewalk.
"Baby, what is it?" Olivia queried, as she reached her daughter. "What's wrong?"
"Olivia, I—I'm sorry," Rafe said as he approached them, close on Emma's heels. This time he knew he screwed up. "She wanted to ride on the handlebars, and… and I—I told her no, because I was afraid I'd crash, and she'd fall," he explained nervously.
"He told me to get off and leave him alone," Emma cried, as she buried her face against Olivia's torso.
Olivia stooped down, meeting Emma's gaze. "He didn't mean it, Baby," she soothed.
One glance at Natalia told her to prepare, and then she was scrambling for a distraction to keep Emma from being witness to whatever firestorm was about to erupt. "Listen, Em, why don't you run inside and get cleaned up," she suggested, eyeing the dirt smudges on Emma's face and arms. Clearly the child had been hard at play.
"Am I in trouble?" Emma's lower lip was quivering, as more tears welled up in her eyes.
"No, Sweetie," Olivia quickly reassured. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Then why is Rafe so mad at me?" Emma cried.
Rafe looked decidedly uncomfortable, as he shifted back and forth on anxious feet. The look in Natalia's eyes was menacing.
"He's not mad at you, Honey," Natalia said. "He's mad at Mommy and me."
"Why?" Emma sniffed.
"We'll talk to you about it in a few minutes. I promise," Natalia said. "Right now, I need to speak with Rafe. So go on in, and get washed up like Mommy said, okay?"
Nodding, Emma wiped the tears from her eyes, leaving smudges of dirt in their place. And then she sprinted off toward the front door.
Visibly frustrated, Rafe raked his fingers through his thick mop of curls, as Natalia glared at him. "I told you I wasn't ready for family life, Ma," he sighed, before attempting to walk away.
"You stop!" Natalia snapped.
The commanding nature of her tone was foreign to him, and he quickly turned on his heel, staring at her in disbelief. What had happened to his mother?
Purposefully, Natalia advanced on him, determination in her eyes. "Look, I get that this is difficult for you, Rafe," she said with a gentleness that belied the ferocity in her dark eyes. "But being harsh with Emma is not an option. She's just a little girl, and she doesn't deserve to take the brunt of your misguided anger."
"My anger isn't misguided, Ma," Rafe argued. "You can't expect me to just roll over and accept this bullshit lifestyle you're living."
So much for him trying, Natalia sighed, as her mind drifted back to their conversation a few nights prior. Was this the way it would always be? One step forward, six steps back? She felt her ire surge again, and Olivia reached out, gently touching her arm in an act of steadying her. Instantly, Natalia felt her body calm, but rightfully, her anger didn't subside. She advanced on him, determination set in her jaw.
"Whether you like it or not, Rafael, you are, in fact, a member of this family. And as long as you live in our home, you will act like the decent human being I raised you to be," she demanded, as she held him in place with the sheer energy of her fury. "I don't care how you feel about our lifestyle; you will treat both Olivia and me with respect. You will be kind and gentle with Emma, just as you will be with your new baby sister when she arrives."
"Yeah, well what if I don't want to live here?" Rafe retorted. His mother would never let that happen, he thought smugly.
"Suit yourself," Natalia said with a dismissive shrug.
"What?" His dark eyes widened in astonishment. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"You heard me. You have two choices," Natalia said firmly. "Either straighten up your act, and treat the members of this family with respect. Or finish out your probation in a halfway house. It's as simple as that."
"Ma, you wouldn't really…"
"Try me, Rafe," Natalia challenged. "I'll call the judge right now."
When Rafe said nothing in response, Natalia looked satisfied. "I thought so," she said. "Now get yourself together, and go apologize to Emma. She doesn't need to see you acting like a spoiled child."
Appropriately censured, Rafe skulked off into the house, once again leaving Olivia and Natalia alone in the front yard. "I'm telling you, Olivia, that boy is seriously testing my patience right now," Natalia seethed, as she walked toward her partner.
Olivia said nothing. What was there to say, really? The boy was clearly troubled, and she hadn't a clue as to how to help him. He didn't want her help anyway, so what did it matter? Releasing a slow sigh of frustration, she simply pulled Natalia into her arms.
Willingly, Natalia sank into Olivia's embrace, wrapping her arms firmly around Olivia's waist, and burying her face against Olivia's neck. Slowly, Olivia's hand caressed Natalia's back, as she whispered encouragement to her. It didn't really matter to Natalia what Olivia was saying. It was the fact that she was there, always, to offer reassurance, even if they were both wondering at the validity of such reassurance.
Natalia tightened her hold, and Olivia responded in kind. "I love you, Olivia," Natalia whispered against warm skin. When all else seemed to be failing, that one fact remained true. It was the cornerstone of her existence now—the love she felt for, and from, Olivia.
"I love you too," Olivia whispered against Natalia's ear. And that was why it mattered. Those three simple words made it matter more than anything, Olivia silently acknowledged, as she held Natalia close. It mattered because Natalia and their family were everything to her. And come what may, they always would be.
Saturday, June 6, 2009… The Farmhouse of Love—10:45 a.m. Central Daylight Time
Entering the farmhouse, Rafe took the front staircase two steps at a time, quickly making it to the landing. It was unsettling to him that he had broken his resolve to never go to the second floor, because that was where his mother shared a bedroom with Olivia. But he was here now, slowly taking in the landscape. There were five doors leading off of the hallway, including the one for the bathroom. Glancing around, he assumed the bedroom at the far end of the hall was where they slept. It was separated from the other rooms by quite a distance. And he easily figured out which bedroom was Emma's—the one with all the hearts and butterflies all over the door. It looked like a project his mother would have done with her.
Finding Emma in her bedroom, Rafe paused at the door, leaning against the doorframe. Arms crossed, he contemplated, as the distinct sound of sniffles reached his ears. He had a lot to make up for, and he wasn't exactly sure how to approach it. But he knew that regardless of his feelings about Olivia and Natalia's relationship, Emma didn't deserve to be hurt; especially not by him. The direct approach was probably best, he finally decided. And then he took a deep breath, and dove in. "Hey, Munchkin," he said in quiet greeting, as he rapped lightly on the door. "Okay if I come in?"
Emma looked up from the huge stuffed teddy bear she was cuddling, meeting his gaze with a teary-eyed frown. Nodding, she slowly sat upright, tugging her bear into her lap—a protective barrier.
He could feel her eyes following him as he walked into the room, sitting on the bed next to her. Chewing his lower lip, he glanced around the room, taking in the décor. "I like your room a lot, Emma," he complimented, smiling at all the pictures of puppies and kittens, mixed with pin-up posters of all the latest Disney stars, and some boy band he had never heard of before. "It looks like you like living here a whole lot more than you did at the Beacon."
Nodding again, Emma leaned her chin on her bear's shoulder. "It feels like a real home here," she said, forthrightly. "It is my home now." She stressed that it was a fact.
"Yeah," Rafe said, nodding nervously. "I guess it's my home now, too." He really didn't know how to feel about that, but he guessed he'd better figure it out.
They were quiet for a few moments, both of them lost in thought. And then Emma looked at him, a mixture of curiosity and determination in her eyes. "How come you're so mean now?" she asked without a hint of hesitation. "Not just to me. I heard you saying mean things to Mommy and Ma the other day, too. And I don't like it when you're mean. It makes you sound like a big bully. And it makes Ma cry."
Emma's words were a knife straight to the heart. Rafe felt the guilt seize him, and his heart lurched and pounded in his chest, and then descended down into his stomach where it sat like a stone. He had been such an ass—to all of them. And he knew it. Worse, he had no real excuse except that he was so afraid of losing his mother to Olivia and Emma, and the new baby. He swallowed nervously. "I guess… I'm just having a hard time adjusting to having so much family," he answered vaguely. There was no need to burden her with his confusion about his mother's relationship with Olivia. She wouldn't understand it anyway. "It's always just been my Ma and me."
"Yeah, it's always just been my Mommy and me, too," Emma related, her fingers playing over the soft brown fur of her plush teddy bear. "But I love having a Ma now. And a big brother," she added, smiling at Rafe through tearstained eyes.
"Except when I'm mean, right?" Rafe said, ruefully.
"Yeah, except when you're mean," Emma nodded.
"I'm sorry I've been such a jerk, Emma," Rafe sheepishly apologized. "It isn't your fault, it's mine," he said reassuringly. "I'll promise I'll try to do better, okay?"
Shifting to her knees, Emma's bluish-green eyes lit up. "We get a new baby sister soon," she announced, seemingly out of nowhere. That appeared to brighten her mood immensely, but he had no idea where it had come from, or why it was suddenly so important. And then she explained. "Babies make people happy. Maybe you'll be less mean when she gets here."
Despite himself, Rafe laughed. "Yeah," he said, as he reached out, tousling her hair. "I'm sure I'll be less mean by the time the new baby comes. But I think maybe I should start working on it now."
"Yeah," Emma nodded. "I think that would be good."
The stack of board games on her shelf caught her attention then, and her mood brightened even more, all else seemingly forgotten. "Hey, wanna play Monopoly™ with me?"
Rafe took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, as the tension fell away from his chest. "Sure, Munchkin," he said with a playful lilt. "But I get to be the car."
"Cool," Emma said, as she bounded from her bed. "'Cause I like to be the hat. It reminds me of Willy Wonka."
"Yeah?" Rafe questioned, as he turned to face her again. "You like that movie?"
Emma pulled the Monopoly™ box from the bottom of the stack. "Yup," she said. "It's my favorite."
"Cool," Rafe declared. "I like it too. Maybe we could watch it later."
"I like the old one better than the new one," Emma declared. "What about you?"
The chatter continued then, as a game board and pieces were methodically pulled from the box and disseminated. And from their vantage point in Emma's doorway, Olivia and Natalia breathed a mutual sigh of relief. Unbeknownst to Emma and Rafe, they had been watching the exchange for quite some time, and for the first time since Rafe had come home, they both felt some of the pressure release.
Wrapping her arm around Natalia's waist, Olivia pressed a light kiss to her temple. And then she coaxed her down the hall toward their bedroom. They had a while before Emma would be asking about lunch, and she knew a little downtime would do them both a world of good.
Monday, June 8, 2009… Olivia's Office, the Beacon—10:30 a.m. Central Daylight Time
After two more lectures from Natalia over the course of the weekend, Rafe finally realized that his mother wasn't going to back down. This trying thing was really hard. But if he didn't want to spend the rest of his probation living in a halfway house, he knew he was going to have to toe the line at home. And that also meant showing up in Olivia's office on Monday morning, to discuss possible openings at the Beacon.
He didn't want to work there. It was the last place on earth he wanted to be! But he had begrudgingly agreed to meet with her to discuss the positions Jen had outlined as possibilities; lest his mother unleash another lecture on him.
And so he shuffled into Olivia's office at the appointed time that morning, plopping himself down in one of her guest chairs. "Okay, so I'm here," he said, sounding less than enthused. "So what am I supposed to do?"
Slowly, Olivia eyed him up and down. He was dressed in gray trousers, and a blue button-up shirt, and he wore a tie that she recognized as being one of Gus's. Though the tie had been pulled loose, she was impressed that he had bothered to dress up at all. Perhaps she had underestimated him. It wasn't the first time, and probably wouldn't be the last.
She said nothing, as she opened the file that Jen had prepared for her. "Okay, here's something," she said, perusing the top job description in the file. "It's in the kitchen. It's an entry-level job, but you know what, the salary is more than it seems. You get to share all the tips with the waiters." She tried to make it sound appealing, as she handed him the paper across her desk.
He looked it over, as she continued shuffling through the file. "Um, Olivia, a bus boy?"
"This is right up your alley, you know, if you're looking to be a cop," Olivia said, rustling the paper in her hands. Natalia had called Friday afternoon to tell her that Rafe had applied to the Springfield Police Department. What Natalia didn't know was that Rafe could never be a cop, because of his felony conviction. Olivia wondered why he hadn't just told her the truth, and she hoped her comment would spark the conversation where she could ask. Perhaps he wasn't yet aware. "Security guard." She handed the job description over to him.
He set the first paper on her desk, and accepted the second one. "Oh, great, I'm sure they have really snazzy uniforms, too," he said sarcastically. "Come on."
"Excuse me?" Olivia said. She really couldn't believe what an ungrateful ass he was being.
"Just… you know what, forget it," Rafe said. "I'm gonna… I'll go ask my grandpa Alan to help."
"No… no," Olivia said, caution in her tone. "That kind of job comes with strings. Look, I'm not looking for the kissing of the feet. A little gratitude would be nice," she muttered with a sarcastic lilt. "I'm offering you a job. Two jobs, in fact."
"I know," Rafe said lamely. He slunk down into the seat, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Look, I'm not sure what you're expecting here, Rafe, but there aren't a whole lot of employers out there, chomping at the bit to hire a convicted felon," Olivia commented. Sometimes the kid just needed to hear a little truth, even if it pissed him off. "Now, I'm not judging you for what happened," she stated clearly. "I know it was an accident. But the fact remains, you are a convicted felon, and right or wrong, you're gonna have to deal with the consequences of your actions for the rest of your life. I'm just trying to make it a little easier on you."
"I know, but… a bus boy?" Rafe sounded offended. "I mean… it's not a career."
"We're not talking about a career. We're talking about something until you can…"
"Look, I'm not gonna be a cop!" Like steam in a pressure cooker, his anger and frustration never seemed to be far from the surface. "All right, I went over there to ask them, they said no. I wanted to be like my dad…"
The emotion in his tone had Olivia's full attention. She knew he was hurting, and wished more than anything that she could take his pain away. But she knew this was something he had to work through on his own. Not that he would accept her comfort anyway.
"I wanted to honor him," Rafe was saying. "They said no, so excuse me if I don't get all excited about picking up some dirty dishes in your hotel room."
He was on his feet then, moving toward the door.
"Come on, don't go," Olivia called after him. "Don't. Sit. Please. Talk."
"Why?" Rafe snapped, out of hurt, rather than anger. "What's there to talk about?"
"Your mother led me to believe that you wanted to apply…"
Olivia was referencing the jobs at the Beacon as well as his application for the police force, and Rafe understood that. "I know what my mother said, I was there."
"So you just let her go on thinking that everything was okay?" Olivia questioned. "You lied to her?"
"What? No," Rafe replied. He looked annoyed at her for questioning him.
"Come on, you don't have to lie to her," Olivia said.
"I don't!" Rafe protested, as Olivia stood from her desk, edging around it. "Stop!"
"She's very excited for you," Olivia commented.
"I know that!" Rafe exclaimed. "That's exactly the point. I don't want to disappoint her."
Olivia leaned against the front edge of her desk. "Well, then just tell her the truth, okay? She's a strong person. You owe her the truth, right?"
"Hey, whoa, can you back off—please?" Rafe said defensively. "Okay? This is my business, and my mother's. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? This has absolutely nothing to do with you."
And with that, he stormed out of her office, slamming the door behind him.
Shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans, Olivia's frustration seeped out in a long, slow sigh. Shaking her head, she rounded her desk, and sunk back down into her leather chair. As she leaned forward, she propped her elbow on her desk, her thumb and index finger instinctively pinching the bridge of her nose. Torn, she contemplated her options. God, this step-kid shit was a pain in the ass! This was worse than Lizzie, because she actually cared about Rafe. And though she didn't want to come off as a meddling step-mother, she had to tell Natalia the truth. There was no other way around it. Obviously, Rafe wasn't going to be honest with her, and Olivia simply couldn't allow Natalia to continue believing in a future that wasn't possible for her son.
"Was that Rafe who slammed the door?"
Olivia's inner dialogue was interrupted by the sound of Natalia's voice. "Huh—what?"
"The slamming door—was that Rafe?" Natalia repeated.
"Yeah," Olivia nodded. "He's not interested in the positions we have open."
"So he slammed the door." Natalia sounded aggravated.
Fingers raking through her hair, Olivia released a frustrated sigh. "Maybe I should've let Jen handle it," she reasoned. "I pissed him off, again, and…"
"Hey, no, you stop that," Natalia said commandingly. "You didn't do anything wrong. If he's angry, that's his own choice."
Olivia grinned. "You've been talking with Bianca," she teased.
"It shows that much, huh?" Natalia laughed.
Chuckling, Olivia nodded.
"What's Rafe angry about this time?" Natalia sighed, as she lowered herself to one of Olivia's guest chairs.
"He wants a career, not a job," Olivia answered grimly.
"Well, you know it's probably just because he has his heart set on becoming a cop," Natalia reasoned. "But I know, he needs to get it that he needs something in the meantime, until he gets to the top of that list."
Heart sinking, Olivia looked stricken. She hated to be the one to disappoint Natalia, but she couldn't keep the truth from her. "It's not gonna happen, Honey," she said, gently.
Natalia's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"He can't become a cop," Olivia informed. "He's a convicted felon. It's the law."
"Does Rafe know that?"
"Frank told him," Olivia answered.
"But he…" Natalia looked confused, almost crestfallen.
"He didn't wanna disappoint you," Olivia interjected, her voice soft.
"Oh, Rafe..." Natalia sighed. She was disappointed for her son, not in him—at least not when it came to this. "Becoming a cop, this wasn't just about some job. This was about his father, who he didn't even have in his life for that long." She was almost in tears just thinking about the fact that another one of his dreams had been crushed.
"I know, Honey," Olivia empathized. "I understand. That's why I wanted to help him. But… I offered him a job, and he didn't want it. So what are we gonna do? 'Cause, it's a bad economy, and he's got a criminal record. There aren't gonna be a lot of people who are gonna give him another chance like this."
Shaking her head, Natalia released a long, slow sigh. And then she buried her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do, Liv," she said, sounding frustrated.
Rounding her desk, Olivia crouched down in front of Natalia, and reached out, taking fidgety hands into her own. "I wish… I knew how to make things right for both of you," she said. "I would, you know. If I could."
"I know," Natalia whispered. "And I'm so grateful for that." She focused on their joined hands as she collected her thoughts, and then she met Olivia's gaze. "It's just… this is the first time that making things okay for Rafe is not the same as what will make things okay for me."
She sounded so sad, and Olivia's heart ached for her. "Let's just give it some time, okay?" she gently suggested. "He's only been out for a few days. He still has time to look for a job without our help. My bet is, he'll come back in a few weeks and reconsider the openings we have available. And if he doesn't need to do that, then good for him. He'll have done it on his own. That may end up being exactly what he needs, anyway," she reasoned.
Natalia stole a glance at Olivia. "At least he showed up today, huh?"
Olivia knew Natalia was trying to sound hopeful. "Yeah," she agreed. "And he even wore dress clothes, including one of Gus's old ties."
That brought a smile to Natalia's face. "He was wearing one the other day, too," she said proudly. He looked so handsome, she had thought. So much like his father. It made her heart swell just thinking about it. "When he dropped his application off at the police station," she added as an afterthought; though, for some reason, it felt important to her to say it.
He hadn't told her what he was up to when he left the farmhouse that morning—only that he would be home in time for lunch. Later that morning, she had stopped by Gus's grave on her way to the grocery store, running into him after he had gone to the police station. Finding the application curled up in his back pocket, she'd had to cajole the information out of him, but finally, he had admitted how much it meant to him to follow in his dad's footsteps. They had shared a poignant moment together, there at Gus's grave, and she felt closer to him than she had in years.
He had come to her after lunch, asking for help tying Gus's tie, and she had been so proud of him, as they made their way to the police station for him to turn in his application. It had been a wonderful day, especially given how volatile he had been the day previous, and she truly believed they had turned a corner. And then his outburst at Emma the following morning had shattered her illusions. Briefly, she wondered if the news that this dream too had been crushed had anything to do with his actions that morning. She would ask him later, she decided. While it was no excuse, at least that would be some sort of an explanation.
"I'm sorry that can't happen for him," Olivia said supportively. "I know it would've meant a lot to both of you."
"Yeah," Natalia sighed disappointedly. And then she met Olivia's gaze. "I just have to believe that something better will come along. Everything happens for a reason, you know."
Olivia smiled at Natalia's eternal optimism. "Yes," she said confidently. "Yes, it does."
TBC in Chapter 14.8…
Next up, we head to court with Jen and Tracy…