This is written for a challenge on livejournal called 7 Deadly Sins, where you have to claim a fandom, and then write a piece to each sin, which are Greed (written here), Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth, Envy, Lust and Pride. Each shall follow in a chapter to themselves here, and each shall revolve around one FFVIII character. If you would like to join it yourself, contact me via my profile page and I would be happy to link you. I hope you enjoy.
When she was a child she had been greedy in a way, taking the last piece of buttered bread when no one was looking, or finishing off someone's drink when it was left unattended. It had always been her guilty secret.
But she has never felt the greed she does when she's with him. It's an ache. It echoes through her mind non-stop and almost drives her crazy because she's unable to think of anything else when she looks at him.
It makes her feel so weak…
She isn't weak though, she can't be! She's done so much in her life already, even though she's still young. She hates feeling like this because …she doesn't want to fail. When she first walked through Balamb's entrance, she promised herself then that from then on, she would never fail herself…and yet…
She reflects on others, and how they act. Seifer would have to be the most greedy of them, publicly greedy anyhow, since Quistis knows she's a lot worse than he is… He's just loud and announces all his thoughts to the world, because he simply doesn't care what everyone thinks of him. She's jealous of that trait, she wishes she was more sure of herself…maybe then he would speak to her…he speaks to Seifer quite easily after all…
Zell is greedy when it comes to food, but that's never an issue. After all, it's from his own money and the cafeteria always has more than enough of something, even after they run out of hotdogs…and besides, Quistis prefers a salad or a sandwich to a hotdog anyway, that red meat just stinks of fat and oil. But…whatever makes Zell happy, she supposes. The times when he is depressed just seem to bring the whole class down.
Irvine…well…he's not really greedy in many ways… just a harmless tease and a flirt. He's clean, like Selphie, she's not greedy in any way at all and that thought infuriates Quistis, even though she knows she's no competition for Squall at all, she's simply not interested…
Rinoa on the other hand…well, the less she has to think about that spoilt little princess the better…for the simple fact she doesn't even act spoilt. She's not greedy, she's not posh or stuck up…she's sweet and childish and just screams out to be cared for and looked after…something which has always set Squall (and Seifer's for that matter) nerves tingling.
Quistis knows by now in her heart though, that after so many years there's little chance left, because if something was ever going to happen…it would have happened long ago, when he wasn't so cold in his late teens, as he still is now.
She would love him, given half the chance. Yet at the moment she hates the way he makes her feel, just like he had back in the day when she was his teacher…
She tries to teach and she tries to pay attention to what is actually important, her job. He's too distracting though, silence is always distracting and she finally snaps her chain whip at the monster at the very last second, an angry blush spreading across her cheeks as she realises Squall has noticed she nearly slipped up. She's the instructor, she should be a lot better than this but with him around…her hands are clammy and her tongue feels thick. She doesn't really know what to say and yet she's forcing herself to say whatever comes to her head, anything that will get him to talk more than five words for crying out loud!
She wants him; it's as simple as that. She may not understand him fully yet, but if they were together she'd be able to, if she could only get him to open up to her!
…Which he would if they were together, she knew it then as she does now, with failing hope.
She's 18 and never been in love yet, but she can feel it pulling at her, dragging her closer to Squall as if he's the life ring she has to grab to save herself from drowning in despair. She feels childish for being so dramatic, but no one ever listens to her otherwise, unless she makes a mistake or she's ordering him or her to do something they don't want to. She has the Trepies of course, but they're just a headache…
Because of Squall, she feels, is why she lost her teaching position though, fallen back to a regular old SeeD like the rest of the ordinary people. She doesn't even stand out anymore. You would have to stand out for him to notice you as well, all he seems to see is everything in greyscale, he needs something out of the ordinary to catch his bleak eyes, yet…she knows she'll never be able to do that, not anymore.
She remembers how they used to work together, when she was younger but still full of greed though.
She has a good job at a young age, a high rank for someone who only had to be SeeD for one year before she was made an instructor, she has friends and a place, a home, something she knows the full weight of after her childhood. She's healthy, has money, but she doesn't have him and she's greedy for more.
She's lost in her thoughts again and he jumps in, swinging hard with an almost lazy look in his eye as he saves her from being clawed up.
"Watch where you're going." Is all he says, and moves on through the cave. …Still not even five words to her.
She's ordered him to speak to her, to see if giving him orders to follow would work. Still nothing though, of course. What could it take just to get him to have a real conversation with her for once? What was wrong with her? …What did he hate so much about her that he wouldn't even subject himself to a conversation?
Quistis sighs and moves on, following Squall even though she should be the leader. She could never lead him anywhere, and they both know it.
She's so greedy for him, even now, and she wonders when it will ever end…
The next piece, Gluttony, shall probably be centered around Zell...(but that could of course change if the muse hits.)